Snape x Reader: Hope

(F/n) held onto him; not with her hands or voice, but with the absolute power of her eyes. Those eyes that always displayed whatever emotion she was feeling in a moment. Always observant of things that should have been beyond her hope of grasping; always seeing past the surface to what was housed underneath, always seeking out those who needed her help.

The windows to her soul were (e/c); it wasn’t the color that made them shine, but rather the feeling that was incessantly building up behind them. Even at times when she was dulled or tired they shone bright . . . Even now when she was being desecrated, (F/n)’s eyes remained full and beautiful.

Severus Snape had been careful to keep his face passive as the Dark Lord tortured her, with more foul spells than could be named, but internally he trembled. For more years than he could count, the Potions Master had played the faithful spy and turncoat. He had given accurate information to both sides of the conflict to stay in good graces- which always came at a price. But despite all the pain that his involvement had caused, there had only been one time when Severus had felt tormented. Out of a lifetime of destruction and lies, only one death had ever truly touched him- and it was that of Lily Potter.

Now as Snape watched the woman he had come to appreciate, be destroyed piece by piece, he knew that he would feel the same heart-shattering despair when she was claimed by death. Two people would be added to the list of his regret, and there was no hope of cleaning the slate.

When (F/n) Snape was gone, Severus would mourn her.

From his place, standing with the other Death-Eaters, the former Potions Master waited for the end to come by Voldemort’s’ hand . . . but it never did. For hours upon hours he had taunted, hurt, and defiled her but instead of delivering the final blow, the Dark Lord turned to face his Death Eaters.

Severus felt his jaw clench- luckily it was unnoticeable- when he realized what was to come. It was a truly terrible thing to feel helpless in your life, and have no power whatsoever to change it, and yet this was the case. There was nothing he could reasonably do; Snape could only silently observe and wait for the ax to fall.

“My friends,” Voldemort addressed them in his snake-like way of speaking, with soft and dangerous tones. “I have provided entertainment for you this evening, but in doing so; I have been unable to enjoy it myself.”

The Dark Lord took his dear sweet time looking into the faces of those around him, an evil glint in his strange eyes as he continued to prove Snape’s assumption correct.  

“Who will have the honor of finishing the task?”

Snape, without moving his head, glanced around him taking in the familiar and dreaded faces. There was no mercy to be had in this pack of wolves; nothing other than blood lust and the stench of fear entered their midst.

If he did nothing, (F/n) would experience more pain than anyone should ever have to. But if he tried to stop it from happening, they would both be killed instantly. So the man acted upon the only other option that was available to him.

Never moving, he addressed the humanoid-snake.  

“I will finish her off, my lord.”

As Snape’s voice echoed in the dungeon-like room, all eyes turned to regard him- (F/n)’s included though he refrained from meeting hers. For a moment all was silent- the air thick with apprehension- before Voldemort gave a short laugh quite similar sounding to a hiss.

“You never fail to impress me with your loyalty, Severus,” he answered. “Though I thought that you would rather have someone else torture  your wife.”

Snape held his ground, his countenance relaying boredom and nonchalance, when he was already grieving the command he was about to carry out.

“It was an arranged marriage,” he replied, “As my lord knows.”

Voldemort studied him closely then. “But does she really mean so little to you? A woman that has taken on your family title; who has been with you for nearly five years? You would hurt her? Kill her?”

This was a test and it was one that Snape couldn’t afford to lose.

“I would,” he said never breaking character, “If  it was what you desired.”

The Dark Lord stared at Severus for a long, unearthly moment before a debauched smile covered his reptilian lips. The sight was enough of an answer, but he said it aloud anyway.

“I do desire it, Severus. So very, very much.”

Snape nodded once, his dark robes feeling heavy, as he moved forward from the crowd of Death-Eaters and accepted what was about to happen. He glided past Voldemort with another incline of his head- showing respect he didn’t feel-before he stood before what remained of his wife. Deliberately he pulled out his wand from where it was housed within his robe sleeve, and held it in up his hand.

It was true that he and (F/n) had been married for convenience to assist the Order, but as time had worn on their relationship had become more than a simple cover. It had turned into something that both clung to and depended on, as darker and darker events that had spiraled out of their control. During their time at Hogwarts, before Dumbledore’s death, they had taught classes- Potions and Ancient Runes- and lived together amiably. They had grown to care for each other . . .  and now it was all coming to an end.

Severus Snape looked down into (F/n)’s lively eyes, and for the first time, let her see what he kept inside his soul.

It was a flash of feelings and memories, but most importantly a message.  Regret.  Regret for what he had done to her in the past, and what he was about to do to her now. He knew that forgiveness was impossible, now that he was betraying her, but he freely displayed his remorse for her keen eyes to see.

This exchange only lasted for a second- but in that lapse more information had been passed between the two than could be comprehended by a third party.

I’m sorry, he said silently with his obsidian eyes as he raised his wand. Please forgive me.

I always will, Severus.

The response was a surprise to him; and it made the burden in his heart even more acute. Sweet and as naïve as ever, (F/n) was facing his betrayal with hope. Her (e/c) eyes showed a happiness and affection that should have disappeared hours ago, as she met his gaze with her own vibrant one. There was no fear, only faith.

Goodbye, Severus, her eyes said clearly. I love you.

Snape wasted no more time- feeling the unforgivable curse escape his lips- and felt the edges of his eyes prickle with tears. As he heard her cry out in agony, and searched her eyes even as they rolled back into her head, the man hated himself. He would have ceased the curse and tried a different tactic, but (F/n)’s fate would be infinitely worse if the Dark Lord knew that he cared for her, so Snape didn’t stop and no tear fell to his cheek.

Time went on indefinitely- minutes blurring into hours- until (F/n) could no longer scream. Her body convulsed silently, and Severus watched helplessly as the remaining life drained from her. And as it did, all the man’s hopes died along with her, for deep down Severus Snape had loved (F/n) too.