Archive of Our Own ^beta

Upon one’s eighteenth birthday, everyone receives a single tattoo which is meant to embody their soulmate. And yet, Changkyun can’t even count the number of tattoos painted across his body.

Changkyun considers himself a rather scientific person, but his aversion to the idea of soulmates is not because of science—he can acknowledge that there are some things in the world that science simply can’t explain.

It’s rather simple, really. Changkyun just doesn’t like to be confined to anyone’s principles but his own. He wants to be able to build his own path. The idea of a person who he’s destined to be with has never sounded appealing to him—it sounds forced. Others may think it’s romantic to be connected by some red string of fate, but Changkyun considers it more like being tied down, chained.

That’s not to say that Changkyun doesn’t believe in love. He knows he wants to fall in love and find someone to spend the rest of his life with one day. He just wants that person to be someone he chooses for himself, not someone that a random spot of ink on his body tells him to.

Changkyun got his first two tattoos on his eighteenth birthday; the first was, of course, the soulmate tattoo that magically appeared on his skin when the clock struck midnight and the second was a stick-and-poke that he did on himself a few hours later after finding out how to on the internet. The latter is a simple enough design, two colons separated by a parentheses, forming a smiley and sad face at the same time.

The tattoo that he gave himself is sloppy, clearly done by an amateur lacking the right supplies; his soulmate tattoo is crisp and beautiful in contrast. Nevertheless, he would prefer his messy lines and uneven spacing any day. After all, it was something he chose for himself rather than some foreign shape that appeared on his body without permission.

A lot of people think Changkyun is heartless. He can’t even count the number of times he’s been told “I feel bad for your soulmate” by people he barely even knows. Hearing things like that used to hurt, but maybe he really has become heartless because he barely even registers it anymore.

Changkyun would never voice that last thought though because if Hoseok somehow found out, he’d be in for a very long lecture. Hoseok is one of Changkyun’s closest friends and self-proclaimed bodyguard; if Changkyun asked for it, he would beat up anyone who gives him a hard time for his views on soulmates.

Changkyun never asks, but there have been a few times when Hoseok has had to step in regardless. It’s just something that’s inevitable in this line of business.

After all, opening up a tattoo parlor in a world where soulmate tattoos exist is practically blasphemy to some people.

There’s not particularly high demand for tattoos, but there’s few enough competitors that Changkyun makes enough to get by. His customers consist of people anywhere from soulmates who want to get a matching tattoo to further their bond, couples who can’t accept that they aren’t soulmates and get tattoos to rebel, or people who just like them for the artistic value.

Hoseok would be in the last category, having met when Changkyun’s studio had just opened and they’ve stayed friends ever since. He’s one of the few people Changkyun knows who is a hopeless romantic and dreams of meeting his soulmate while also respecting Changkyun’s aversion to them.

He’s definitely rare in that regard, however, and sometimes Changkyun gets random people who walk into the shop just to tell him that what he’s doing is a disgrace to the entire concept of soulmates and take it as a personal offense. There have even been a few former customers who regretted their tattoos after meeting their soulmate and decided to try and take their anger out on him.

Of course, he always makes them sign the proper waivers beforehand, but there are still some people who refuse to own up to their own mistakes. While Changkyun is more than capable of fending for himself, Hoseok’s larger stature makes him more intimidating and a worthy ally in those altercations.

And—speak of the devil—the door swings open and he looks up to find none other than Hoseok, though he’s accompanied by someone he doesn’t recognize. He does note, however, that the stranger is quite attractive.

“Changkyunie, did you miss me?” Hoseok calls as he enters the shop.

Changkyun chuckles fondly. “It’s hard to miss you when you come by this often. Did you at least bring me a customer?” he asks, eyeing the stranger trailing behind Hoseok.

“No, but I did bring you coffee,” Hoseok says, handing him a cup.

“Thanks, hyung.”

“Thank Minhyuk, not me. It’s from his coffee shop down the street.”

“There’s no need to thank me. Think of it as an investment. I provide you with one free coffee now in the hopes that you’ll want to visit my shop many more times and make me more profit in the future,” the man—Minhyuk—says, smiling brightly.

“So what brings you here? If neither of you are actually here for a tattoo. Aside from the shameless self-promotion, of course.”

“You’re so mean, Changkyun. Do I really need a reason to pay my dear friend a visit? I happened to be in the area—isn’t that reason enough?”

“Yeah, I guess that’s pretty normal behavior for you, but that doesn’t explain why you had to drag an innocent bystander along with you.”

Minhyuk smiles warmly at him. “Don’t worry, I assure you that I came here of my own free will. Hoseok told me about your shop and I was curious, so he suggested we come by.”

“And what exactly did you say about me?” Changkyun asks, eyeing Hoseok suspiciously.

“Only good things, I promise!”

“He’s right,” Minhyuk affirms. “I knew some people get tattoos outside of their soulmate marks, but I had never actually met anyone with any before Hoseok. We somehow got to talking about it and he ended up mentioning you.”

Changkyun stiffens slightly at that. All things considered, it’s unlikely that Minhyuk is one of the people who think poorly of him for what he does, but sometimes he can’t help but be doubtful—it’s become a habit at this point. “Yeah, it’s not really that common, I guess.”

Minhyuk furrows his eyebrows. “I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?”

“No, why would you think that?”

“You seem uncomfortable,” he says, glancing at Hoseok as if asking for help and then back at Changkyun with pleading eyes. “If it was something I did, please tell me. I’ll make sure I don’t do it again.”

Minhyuk’s sincerity succeeds in weakening Changkyun’s defenses just a bit. He smiles reassuringly. “It’s not your fault. Sometimes people can be… critical… of my line of business, so I tend to be wary when I meet new people. It’s become a bit of a bad habit of mine.”

“I’m not like that!”

“I can tell,” Changkyun says with a genuine smile. “Thank you for that.”

“You shouldn’t have to thank me for basic human decency,” Minhyuk says. “Hoseok mentioned what some people have said about it and well, they suck. They really suck.”

Changkyun can’t hold in the burst of laughter when he hears those words. For all the hardships he’s had to face as a result of people not agreeing with his ideology to be summarized as “they suck” somehow makes Changkyun feel lighter than he has in ages. “Yeah, they do indeed suck.”

“That’s why I’m here to beat them up,” Hoseok says, at which point Changkyun realizes he momentarily forgot his friend was even there.

“Hoseok-hyung, I can handle myself just fine.”

“I know you can, but you shouldn’t have to. I’ll never understand why jerks like that can’t just mind their own business.”

“I guess it must be somewhere in their job description,” Changkyun says.

“Yeah, it’s right under loving the sound of their own voice,” Minhyuk adds without missing a beat.

Changkyun doesn’t quite know what it is, but there’s something about Minhyuk that just clicks. He tends to know based on first impressions whether or not he’ll be able to get close to someone and he thinks Minhyuk is definitely someone he’d like to get to know better.

“I think I have to get going soon,” Hoseok says. “But text me if you need anything, okay?”

“Hyung, I do perfectly fine on my own when you’re not here, which is, in fact, the majority of the time.”

“Okay, but if you need me, you’ll call me right?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m pretty sure we already established this last time. And the time before that. And if not then, then definitely the time before that.”

Minhyuk’s chuckle breaks through their bickering. “You two are cute. Are you sure you’re not soulmates?”

“As much as I love Changkyun, no we’re not. Besides, Changkyun doesn’t believe in soulmates.”

Changkyun winces as he watches Minhyuk’s eyes widen in surprise at that statement.

“You don’t believe in soulmates, like at all?” he parrots back in confusion.

Changkyun’s view on soulmates has never been something he’s been ashamed of, a firm believer that one should stand proudly behind their ideals. But right now, he can’t help but let his gaze drop to the ground, unable to meet Minhyuk’s questioning stare.

“I mean, I believe in love, yeah, but soulmates? I’ve never really liked the idea. I want to find the person I’ll love forever on my own, not rely on the universe or some greater power to just tell me that some random stranger is the one,” Changkyun explains.

“Oh.”

“If you have a problem with that, then you can leave. Now,” Hoseok threatens, carefully watching Minhyuk’s expression. Again, Changkyun is reminded of just how loyal Hoseok is as a friend.

“No! I don’t have a problem with it. I just—I’ve never heard that before. I mean, I like the idea of soulmates and I can’t wait to meet mine, but I’m not judging you or anything. I’m sorry. I was just surprised, but I swear I wouldn’t—I'm not one of those jerks who can’t mind their own business or pushes my ideals onto someone else.”

It’s obvious that Minhyuk is rambling and in a strange way, Changkyun finds it the slightest bit endearing. Changkyun is someone who has accepted that he’ll always be misunderstood; from the moment people see his tattoos, they already have their judgements formed. It’s refreshing to see someone trying so hard to avoid exactly that.

“It’s okay,” Changkyun says. “I know it’s not exactly a conventional way of thinking.”

“Sometimes conventional is overrated,” Minhyuk responds with a hesitant smile, like he’s not quite sure if he’s in the clear yet.

Changkyun tries to reassure him with a smile in return—though it doesn’t require much effort on his part because the smile is genuine. “Yeah, yeah it is.”

Hoseok smiles brightly too. “Good. I’m glad we worked that out. I like you Minhyuk, I didn’t wanna have to beat you up.”

“You know, it’s kinda scary how you say that so cheerfully."

“Well, just remember that if you ever mess with Changkyun, I can be even scarier,” he says brightly. “But I really should go now, so I’ll see you two another time!”

As Hoseok runs out the door, Minhyuk turns to Changkyun. “I should probably get back to my cafe too, but it was really nice meeting you.”

“It was nice meeting you too,” Changkyun says. Unlike most times he says it, it’s not just a formality—this time, he means it.

Minhyuk reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pen and napkin which he promptly begins scribbling on. “Here, this is my number. My shop is just down the block, so if you ever need some emergency caffeine, just give me a call.”

“Is this also part of the investment?”

“I promise there are no ulterior motives with this one. I think I’d just like to get to know you better. Only if you’re okay with that, of course.”

Changkyun smiles. “I think I’m more than okay with that.”

For as long as Minhyuk can remember, he’s always dreamed of meeting his soulmate. He finds it beautiful—to think that in this world of billions of people, there is exactly one person who is meant just for him.

In the minutes leading up to his eighteenth birthday, he sat on the floor of his bedroom in front of his mirror. Just in case his soul mark showed up somewhere on his back or that wasn’t immediately visible, he wanted to be prepared. Minhyuk couldn’t bear the thought of having to wait any longer to see it.

In the end, none of that was necessary because at exactly midnight, his tattoo materialized right in front of his eyes on the index finger of his right hand. He remembers watching in awe as the stem crawled up his finger to reveal a flower—after browsing countless varieties of flowers and their names on the internet, he learned that it’s an iris—though upon closer inspection, it appears to be withered.

Soulmate tattoos are meant to represent your soulmate in some way and no two are ever quite the same. Minhyuk wonders what it means for the symbol of the love of his life to be a withered flower.

The internet provides him with more information on irises than any normal person would ever want—but for Minhyuk, it’s not enough.

He learns that the meaning can differ based on the color, which isn’t particularly helpful because his tattoo happens to be black and white, but the most common meanings include wisdom, faith, and courage. He wonders if is soulmate has these qualities.

He learns that irises need to be periodically divided if the soil becomes overcrowded to ensure that the flowers can continue to bloom. He wonders if his soulmate is also averse to crowds.

He learns that among different varieties of irises, some are classified as bearded irises. He wonders if his soulmate will have a beard.

Needless to say, Minhyuk learns a lot of pointless information about irises and nothing about his soulmate. It excites him nonetheless—the fact that he’s even just one step closer to meeting the one he’s destined for.

Now, ten years later, Minhyuk is twenty-eight years old and he still hasn’t found his soulmate, but the excitement remains. He goes to bed each night thinking not “I didn’t meet them today,” but rather, “I could meet them tomorrow.”

His alarm goes off at 5:00AM again this morning and, as per usual, he hits snooze a few times before finally pulling himself out of bed. It doesn’t take him long to get ready and he quickly heads to the cafe so he can prepare for opening.

After the initial morning rush of people stopping by for a quick coffee before work—most of them regulars who Minhyuk easily recognizes, the cafe becomes quiet. While he’s grateful for the break, he often finds himself disappointed on days when there aren’t many new faces. Part of the reason he wanted to open a cafe in the first place was so that he’d have more chances to encounter new people and potentially find his soulmate.

It turns out, however, that not all hope is lost for the day because a few hours later, the door opens to reveal none other than Changkyun, the very attractive tattoo artist he happened to meet the other day.

Minhyuk had been fascinated by Hoseok’s tattoos when he first came into the shop the other day and, having noticed his staring, Hoseok indulged his curiosity. Though he was a bit embarrassed at how his attempts at subtle glances were evidently not at all subtle, when that somehow led to him meeting Changkyun, he can’t say he regrets it.

“You know, when you told me your cafe was right down the street, you didn’t specify in which direction,” Changkyun says as he approaches the front counter. “You’re lucky I ended up finding the right one.”

“Ah, I’m sorry, it must’ve slipped my mind. How did you know which way to go?”

“I figured I had a fifty-fifty chance either way and, worst-case scenario, I’d just be doing a bit of extra walking,” Changkyun pauses and seems to contemplate for a second. “But I had a feeling I’d be right on the first try.”

“Well, I’m glad you made it here sooner rather than later. It’s been a slow morning,” Minhyuk says. “So what can I get for you today?”

“Surprise me.”

“Okay, I’ll make you a secret menu item—the Minhyuk special.”

“That can’t be a real thing,” Changkyun raises an eyebrow at him, but holds out his credit card anyway.

Minhyuk shoos his hand away. “You’re right, it’s definitely not real, so I can’t charge you for it.”

“I appreciate it, really, but at this rate, it looks like your investment isn’t gonna be very profitable.”

“I never said it had to be monetary profit,” Minhyuk says. “Considering your visit has already made my day far more enjoyable, I still think it’s pretty worth it.”

Minhyuk hopes he isn’t being too forward, but by the shy smile on Changkyun’s face, he thinks he’s in the clear. He doesn’t quite know why, but something about Changkyun makes him bolder than usual.

“Well, in that case, who am I to critique your business decisions?” Changkyun laughs. Minhyuk finds that he really likes the sound.

Changkyun goes to sit at one of the empty tables nearest to the counter as Minhyuk begins making the drink. Quite honestly, he’s not quite sure what kind of drink to make Changkyun, but he follows his intuition and guesses that Changkyun would like something sweet—he decides on an iced caramel macchiato as a base and adds a pump of hazelnut syrup for a little more pizzazz.

When Minhyuk turns around, he sees that Changkyun has abandoned his seat in favor of leaning against the pickup counter and watching him work. “Is that one mine?”

“Yes, sir,” he answers, just as he tops off the drink with a dollop of whipped cream. “I hope it’s to your liking.”

When Minhyuk gives Changkyun his drink, their hands touch for the slightest instant and he feels Changkyun’s fingers lightly brush against his tattoo.

Minhyuk holds his breath.

It’s only through touching your soulmate’s tattoo that you can find out if they’re truly the one destined for you or not. Having your tattoo in such an accessible place can be either a blessing or curse depending on who you ask.

Some people prefer to check whether or not they’re soulmates on the very first meeting, not willing to waste time getting to know someone who isn’t the one. Others consider it an extremely intimate thing to show their soul mark, only choosing to do so once the relationship has become serious, which can either end in happily ever after or, in some cases, a crushing disappointment.

Minhyuk doesn’t get as much of a choice in the matter because the placement of his tattoo means that—like right now—he can’t avoid having others touch it, accidental or not. Of course, he could cover it with bandages or wear a glove if he really wanted to, but something about that doesn’t quite feel right to him. He doesn’t think his soul mark is something to be hidden away like a dirty secret—he’d much rather leave it proudly on display.

It’s become a bit of a routine for Minhyuk. When a particularly cute customer comes in, he’ll try and make it so they accidentally brush against his tattoo when he takes their payment or when he hands them their drink. The ending is the same every time—he watches their eyes expectantly for any sign of recognition only for them to walk away a moment later. He’s long since gotten used to it.

Today should be just the same as any other time. Key word: should.

For some reason, Minhyuk finds himself more anxious than usual. For some reason, he’s hoping more than usual, that Changkyun might be the one to finally react.

But Changkyun simply takes the cup from him and that’s that. Minhyuk let’s out his breath.

Changkyun takes a sip and seems to contemplate the taste for a moment, expression hard to read.

“You don’t like it?” Minhyuk asks, unable to fully mask the disappointment in his voice—though that’s not necessarily directed at the drink.

“No, I like it! I was craving something sweet today, so this is perfect,” he says. Still, Minhyuk can’t help but doubt him. There’s something about his tone or his smile that seems slightly off.

“Are you sure? I can always make something else for you.”

“I do really like it! I was just trying to figure out what was in it. I can taste the caramel, but there’s something else too, isn’t there?”

“I added a bit of hazelnut syrup. It’s one of my favorite combinations.”

“It might become mine too,” Changkyun says, taking another sip. “Thank you.”

Minhyuk is about to answer when the door clatters open and a group of teenage girls walks in, chatting loudly. It draws Changkyun’s attention too. “Ah, I should probably get back to my studio and let you get back to work.”

Minhyuk smiles apologetically at him as he walks back towards the register. “But you’ll come again, yeah?”

Changkyun may not be his soulmate and Minhyuk may be the slightest bit disappointed by that fact, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be friends.

“Of course.” He turns to wave one last time before heading out the door.

Minhyuk watches his retreating figure through the window until he’s completely out of sight.

Changkyun had never really understood what people meant when they said the moment you touch your soulmate’s tattoo, you just know.

The only way to know anything is to first acquire information, through observation or investigation of some sort, and then come to a conclusion based upon that. For example, Changkyun has tasted spicy food and it hurt his tongue, so he knows that he does not like spicy food; without first tasting spicy food, he could not have feasibly known that. One cannot simply not know something one second, and magically know it the next.

And yet when Changkyun’s hand brushed against Minhyuk’s, the tattoo wrapped around his finger along with it, he just knew.

He didn’t feel a spark of electricity or hear angels sing or see the world suddenly painted in more vivid colors. There was not a single thing to indicate that anything had changed.

But everything has changed because now, he knows that Minhyuk is his soulmate.

Changkyun tends not to be the most expressive person and, for what may be the first time in his life, he is unbelievably grateful for it as it’s the only thing that saved him from giving away this knowledge to Minhyuk. Though the rest of their conversation after that point is a bit of a blur to Changkyun, he’s fairly certain that Minhyuk doesn’t suspect anything.

Though he does feel a bit bad, to keep something that so many people consider to be life-changingly important—Minhyuk included—completely to himself, he also cannot risk anyone finding out.

Even if Minhyuk may be one of the few people who doesn’t judge Changkyun for not believing in soulmates, it doesn’t change the fact that he himself believes in soulmates. If Minhyuk ever learned the truth, then he would expect Changkyun to date him, marry him, spend forever with him; Changkyun doesn’t want to break his heart like that.

If he’s being honest with himself, the idea of dating Minhyuk, maybe even spending forever with him, does not sound all that unappealing. Despite having barely met, Changkyun cannot deny that he felt more attracted to Minhyuk than he has to anyone in a long time.

But he can no longer allow himself to entertain such thoughts. He has to force himself to forget about all of that because now, he knows that Minhyuk is his soulmate.

Changkyun is aware that his initial opinion of Minhyuk—that he was handsome and kind and funny—was genuinely his own. He is also aware that the unrelenting desire to see Minhyuk again and the decision to visit his cafe this morning stemmed entirely from himself, with no outside influence.

He could know those were true before, but not anymore—he can no longer be sure of anything he does involving Minhyuk. How can he distinguish between liking Minhyuk because he genuinely likes him and liking Minhyuk because he knows he’s his soulmate?

There’s only one answer—he can’t.

And it thus follows that the only solution is to stop meeting Minhyuk.

When Changkyun returns to his studio, he immediately turns the sign on the door to say “closed” because he doesn’t think he can handle anyone coming in at the moment. He needs a minute—or perhaps several hundred—to sort out his emotions.

He continues to sip on his coffee in hopes that the caffeine will somehow jolt his brain awake enough to come up with a reasonable solution, only to be reminded of who exactly he got this coffee from, which then promptly disrupts any train of thought he might have had. Changkyun briefly considers tossing the rest of it, if only to give his mind a bit of reprieve from Minhyuk, but he can’t bring himself to do it.

It’s not like Minhyuk would ever find out if he threw it out and even if for some reason, he did somehow find out, it shouldn’t matter because Changkyun has decided to avoid seeing him again. And yet, it feels wrong, even in this nearly impossible hypothetical situation to let an imaginary Minhyuk think that Changkyun hated the drink enough to toss more than half of it.

He hears the sound of the door opening before he sees it and, though he recognizes that this intruder definitely isn’t the cause of his current frustration, he can’t help but take it out on them anyway.

“Can’t you see that we’re closed?” he snaps.

“Is that the right way to talk to your childhood best friend?” the intruder snaps back.

Changkyun looks over in surprise at the familiar voice. “Kihyun-hyung, what are you doing here?”

“Do I need a reason to come see a friend? And apparently, the shop’s closed, so it’s not like I’m interrupting business.”

Changkyun briefly wonders what it is about his friends that compels them to randomly stop by his place of work without notice. “You don’t need one, but most people generally have reasons why they do things.”

“Well, I’m not really sure why, but I had a strange feeling that you might need a friend right now,” Kihyun says, studying him as if searching for a sign that his intuition was right.

It’s moments like this that, if Changkyun believed in soulmates (and Kihyun hadn’t already found his and Changkyun hadn’t also discovered his soulmate’s identity just now), Changkyun might think that Kihyun was his.

Admittedly, Kihyun is his oldest friend and perhaps time is enough to explain how he always has a strange sixth sense when it comes to Changkyun. But even when they were just kids, Changkyun never needed to say anything for Kihyun to be able to tell when he was upset from people picking on him for his views on soulmates. If anyone could understand what Changkyun is feeling and advise him, it’d be Kihyun.

“Hyung,” he starts, but not really knowing how to form his thoughts into comprehensible words. “I don’t know what to do.”

“How about we start by going home?” Kihyun suggests gently, not asking for any further details.

Changkyun nods. He’s not entirely confident that the change in scenery will do much to help, but perhaps being in a tattoo parlor, surrounded by reminders of the whole concept of soulmates, isn’t particularly helping him either. If anything, at least his couch is comfier than the chair behind the counter.

The walk home speaks to just how well Kihyun understands Changkyun—he doesn’t pry or ask questions and he doesn’t try to fill the silence with meaningless small talk. Changkyun lets himself focus just on the road ahead of him and it gives him the chance to finally calm down a bit.

Kihyun follows Changkyun into the apartment and wordlessly joins him on the couch. When Changkyun looks over at him, he finds that Kihyun’s gentle gaze is rather comforting. He’s grateful that the older doesn’t try to rush him and just patiently waits for Changkyun to be ready.

Changkyun takes a deep breath. “I found my soulmate.”

Kihyun’s eyes widen in surprise. “But you—”

“Yeah,” Changkyun cuts him off. “It was sorta an accident. You know I don’t believe in soulmates—or want one for that matter. I never have.”

“How did you find them?”

“His name is Minhyuk. He owns a cafe near my shop. Hoseok-hyung brought him over because he seemed interested in tattoos and, we talked for a bit. I actually—” Changkyun pauses, unsure if he wants to admit this out loud. “I was interested in him. When I first met him.”

“Is that where you got that coffee?” Kihyun asks, eyeing the cup that’s still clutched in Changkyun’s hand. The ice has completely melted and it’s probably more water than coffee at this point, but Changkyun still hasn’t thrown it away—for some reason, he doesn’t want to.

He nods in response, staring down at the cup as if it will give him an answer. “I wanted to see him again and decided to go to the cafe this morning and everything was fine, but then I—his tattoo’s on his hand and when he handed me the coffee, I guess I touched it and, well…”

“He’s your soulmate,” Kihyun finishes.

“Yeah.”

“You were interested in him before, but now that you know he’s your soulmate, you’re afraid. You don’t know if you’ll be able to tell whether it’s your own feelings or if it’s because you found out he’s your soulmate.”

Changkyun looks up at him in surprise. “How—?”

Kihyun laughs. “Don’t give me that face. I’ve known you since you were five, I should be able to deduce at least that much.”

“Wow. Well, yeah, pretty much.”

Kihyun ruffles Changkyun’s hair affectionately, as if he’s still five years old. "I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit.”

“What do you mean?”

“Changkyun-ah, you’ve never even believed in soulmates. You’ve spent twenty-five years strongly opposing the very idea. That’s why you got into tattoos and even opened up your own shop. Do you really think that now you’ll suddenly abandon all of that?”

“I…” Changkyun doesn’t know how to answer.

“The Changkyun I know is way too stubborn to suddenly change his mind like that.”

“I’m not that stubborn,” he grumbles.

“You definitely are, but because of that, I’ll give up on arguing further—there are more important things to talk about. I think you should have a little more faith in yourself. Have more trust in the you that decided you wanted to see this guy again.”

Changkyun sighs. “How are you so sure?”

“That you’re stubborn?” Kihyun teases.

Changkyun rolls his eyes at him. “That I’m not just being swayed by some weird higher power.”

“Because you’re not the type to do something just because someone tells you to. I watched you stand firm in your beliefs since you were a kid, even when it got you into trouble with almost everyone you crossed paths with.”

“Yeah, but this isn’t a someone. It’s—I don’t know—the universe, a supposedly all-powerful something.”

“Okay, fine. Let’s think about it like this. If you hadn’t accidentally touched his mark and never found out about any of this, you would’ve probably continued to approach him, right?”

“That’s all hypothetical. It’s impossible to know what I would’ve done if I never found out.”

Kihyun sighs in exasperation. “Yes, but based on the facts that we do know, just tell me if it’s probable or not.”

“I mean, yeah, I guess.”

“Okay, good. We’re making progress. You admit that, before the whole soulmate thing, you were interested in him enough to at least go see him another time?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s highly likely that I would’ve done that. So what’s your point?”

“The point is, forcing yourself to stay away from him just because you found out he’s your soulmate is still letting this soulmate thing control you.”

“It’s not the same,” Changkyun argues, though there’s no conviction behind it.

“You said it yourself that you would’ve gone to see him again if you hadn’t found out. So now choosing not to do that just because you found out is letting it control your decisions all the same and I know for a fact that that’s what you hate the most.”

“I didn’t say it, you said it and then bullied me into agreeing,” Changkyun grumbles.

“Im Changkyun is not the type of person who gives into bullies that easily,” Kihyun says affectionately. “I think I would know—I’ve witnessed it plenty of times.”

Changkyun pauses for a long moment, needing time to think. Kihyun seems to understand and easily grants it to him.

“But if going to him might mean I’m giving into the soulmate thing, but not going to him also means that I’m giving into the whole soulmate thing, what on Earth am I supposed to do?”

“I’m not telling you to go to him, but just don’t close yourself off to him. That’s not fair to him or to yourself.”

“I—yeah. I can do that, I guess.”

“Good,” Kihyun says, smiling proudly. “Now, let’s order some food. I’m starving.”

Changkyun happily obliges, but when he offers to pay for it, Kihyun adds three more side dishes to the order. “It’s the counseling session fee,” he jokes.

Changkyun sticks his tongue out at Kihyun. “Next time, I’m rejecting your unsolicited counseling session. And I’ll be sure to relay to any other clients that this was a scam.”

The mood becomes much lighter and the food arrives in no time. After demolishing way more food than is normal for two people—the restaurant even gave them four sets of utensils—Kihyun leaves Changkyun with one more pat on the head and a reminder to stop overthinking things.

“Stop treating me like a kid,” Changkyun whines. “You’re so annoying.”

Kihyun chuckles. “Call me if anything happens.”

“Stop telling me what to do,” Changkyun yells as he closes the door behind him. Kihyun knows him well enough to understand what he really means.

I will. Thank you.

And thankful, he is. Changkyun feels like the weight that had suddenly been thrown onto his shoulders this morning has been lifted.

Later that day when Minhyuk texts him to ask if he wants to get dinner, he remembers Kihyun’s advice not to overthink. He says yes without a moment of hesitation.

Minhyuk has never actually been on a date. Contrary to what some may think, it isn’t because he thinks of dating around as a form of betrayal to his soulmate, though there definitely are people who believe that. It’s simply that, considering the placement of his tattoo, he never saw any point in it. There was never any room for the excitement of getting to know someone new and wondering if this person could be the one, because a simple handshake is all it ever takes for the mystery to be revealed and the fascination to fade along with it.

That is, until now.

Despite learning that Changkyun isn’t his soulmate, Minhyuk still feels an inexplicable desire to see him again. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s never met someone quite like Changkyun and he simply finds his tattoos fascinating or maybe it’s Changkyun’s beautifully sculpted nose that he can’t erase from his mind, but regardless, the undeniable truth is that he really wants to get to know him better.

When Minhyuk finally works up the courage to ask Changkyun out for dinner and anxiously fidgets with his phone while awaiting his response, he’s relieved to find that Changkyun doesn’t make him wait too long.

The next problem, of course, is where on Earth he should take him.

Again, Minhyuk has never been on a date and he has no clue where they’re supposed to go and what they’re supposed to do. A dinner date is definitely a concept that exists and so he and Changkyun will presumably go to a restaurant and eat a meal, but beyond that, Minhyuk is at a complete loss.

What kind of restaurant should they go to? Will he need to make reservations? What should he wear?

For heaven’s sake, Minhyuk doesn’t even know if this counts as a date.

He doesn’t know if he wants it to count as a date. Changkyun isn’t his soulmate and he knows this. He’s never been interested in getting to know a stranger after learning that they aren’t his soulmate, but here he is, asking Changkyun out to dinner. He could try to explain it as just wanting to be friends, but Minhyuk doesn’t think he could convince anyone with that argument when he can’t even convince himself.

And of course, there’s also the question of what Changkyun thinks about all of this. What does it mean that Im Changkyun, the tattoo artist who is against the very idea of soulmates, has agreed to go to dinner with Lee Minhyuk, a barista who very much believes in soulmates?

Maybe it doesn’t mean anything and this is just a casual, friendly dinner and Minhyuk is stressing out over nothing.

But if this is what “nothing” feels like, Minhyuk isn’t sure if he’ll ever be able to handle “something.”

After three days of scrolling through restaurant reviews when business at the cafe is slow, Minhyuk finally settles on a place. It’s a cute little sandwich shop with a colorful, maximalist aesthetic and the reviews tell him that it’s run by a very kind married couple.

On Thursday night, Minhyuk shows up a reasonable forty-five minutes early just to be sure he doesn’t make Changkyun wait.

Fine. Minhyuk will admit that arriving almost a full hour before their agreed upon meeting time is a bit excessive. Still, pacing endlessly around his apartment didn’t seem particularly productive, so he figured he might as well just go.

Luckily for him, Chankgyun also appears to be a punctual person and Minhyuk spots him from across the street at a much more reasonable, ten minutes before they were meant to meet.

“Hey, sorry. Did you wait long?” Changkyun asks jogs towards him.

“No, not at all,” Minhyuk lies. “I was running some errands and they took less time than expected, but I just got here.”

“I’m glad,” Changkyun says before turning his attention to the mustard yellow building in front of them. “This is the place?”

“I certainly hope so,” Minhyuk answers. “This is my first time here, but the reviews were all raving about it, so I wanted to try it.”

Changkyun follows him inside and Minhyuk tries to gauge his reaction as he takes in the surroundings. The decor consists of a random mixture of red and yellow paraphernalia standing brightly against brick white walls. It’s eclectic, but also strangely charming and tasteful.

“It’s very… America-core,” Changkyun muses. He pokes at the row of dirtied paintbrushes that hang on the wall next to their table as decor—they match the colors of the framed retro American magazine right underneath it.

Minhyuk laughs out loud at that. “Is that a good or bad thing?”

“You know, we don’t exist in a dichotomy of good and bad—sometimes things can just be.”

Minhyuk doesn’t quite know what to say to that, which Changkyun seems to pick up on and laughs at him for.

“I’m kidding,” Changkyun reassures. “It’s cute. It reminds me of when I used to live there.”

“What? You used to live in America?”

“Only for like three years when I was a kid.”

“Still, that’s really cool. Did you like it there?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I was pretty young and I don’t remember too much of it.” Changkyun pauses in contemplation. “Sometimes I wonder what my life would’ve been like if we had stayed. If I grew up there instead.”

Changkyun seems to hesitate, unsure if he should bring up whatever is on his mind, which Minhyuk finds strangely upsetting. They've only met a handful of times and are still practically strangers, so it shouldn’t be surprising that Changkyun has things he wouldn’t want to share with him. Minhyuk really shouldn’t be taking it personally and he knows this, but he can’t help himself.

“Would it be that different?” he prompts, hoping it’ll coax out the answer.

“They tend to be more open about, you know,” he makes a vague hand gesture, “soulmate stuff.”

This response surprises Minhyuk. Changkyun seemed so confident in following his own soulmate philosophy that he didn’t realize how other people’s judgement would bother him to the point of imagining life in another country. Then again, it’s inarguably a difficult path and it’s not unusual to seek comfort in distant what-ifs when going through a hard time.

“Do you regret it then? Not staying, I mean.”

“No, it’s not to that extent,” Changkyun answers easily. “I like my life here and sometimes the judgement can be… a lot… but I’ve learned how to handle myself. Not everything’s been easy, but it’s become part of who I am and I wouldn’t trade that away.”

Minhyuk nods in understanding. “But sometimes, it’s nice to just let your mind wander.”

Changkyun smiles at him. “Yeah, exactly.”

“Do you think you still would’ve opened a tattoo parlor if you lived there?”

“Probably? On some level, I think I did start it as some sort of statement to rebel against the norm, but I do genuinely enjoy it now. I think it’s likely I would’ve somehow ended up finding my way down a similar path anyway—though business might be better over there.”

“But where would you be without the starving artist persona?” Minhyuk teases.

Changkyun scoffs and hits him on the arm. “Is that all you see me as? Is that why you keep giving me free coffee?”

“Of course not. That is part of my very elaborate business plan—I’ve got it all figured out.”

“I’m sure you do.”

Minhyuk might be getting a little too much enjoyment from seeing the smile on Changkyun’s face—from knowing that he’s directly responsible for putting it there.

“So if not the financial success of your tattoo parlor, what else do you think might’ve changed for the better if you had lived there?”

“I heard casual dating is a lot more common. A lot of people do it and those who choose not to are still more accepting of it.”

For some reason, Minhyuk is filled with displeasure at the thought of Changkyun dating someone—something about it just doesn’t sit right with him. He swears he’s not a judgmental person and he’s never thought poorly of anyone for such a thing before, so he doesn’t know where these thoughts are coming from.

He tries to cover these strange feelings with a cough. “Is that something you really want? Casual dating, that is.”

”It’s not that I particularly want to, but I think it’s always nice to have the option.”

“Yeah, that’s fair. Options are always good,” Minhyuk says, though he finds he has to force the words out.

“What about you?” Changkyun asks so nonchalantly that Minhyuk feels twice as shaken from the shock.

“Do I want to casually date?”

“No, sorry, I should’ve specified. Earlier it seemed like you also had a place where you let your mind wander—I wanted to ask where it was,” he corrects, looking down sheepishly. “In hindsight, I realize that was a bit unclear.”

Minhyuk doesn’t know what compels him to say the next few words out of his mouth. He thinks it’s possible he’s being posessed.

“I’m not opposed to it.”

“Huh?”

“Casual dating. I’m not opposed to it,” he repeats. It’s technically not a lie. Minhyuk has never had anything against the idea of it. “I’ve just never been that interested in it for myself.”

The “until now” goes unsaid, but Minhyuk has a feeling Changkyun hears it nonetheless given how his eyes widen slightly as he stares back at Minhyuk.

He feels his cheeks start to heat up and quickly breaks eye contact, hoping the blush on his face wasn’t noticeable.

“Sometimes I wonder how things would’ve gone if my soulmate tattoo was placed somewhere different,” he backtracks to the previous question, desperately trying to change the subject.

Thankfully, Changkyun seems to take the hint. “Does the placement bother you?”

“It doesn’t bother me, per se. It’s the mark of my soulmate, an important person to me, and I wouldn’t want to change that. But I can’t deny that it’s a little… inconvenient at times.”

“How so?” Changkyun asks, seeming genuinely interested for someone who doesn’t even believe in this stuff.

“Well, there’s definitely people who like to test if they’re soulmates immediately, but there’s also tons of people who choose to wait, who like the mystery and excitement in trying to figure it out for themselves first.” He lifts his right hand to look directly at his tattoo as he gathers his thoughts. “Honestly, I don’t know which type I’d be if I had the choice, but yeah, it’d be nice to have the option.”

A strange expression crosses Changkyun’s face and Minhyuk doesn’t have the first clue on how to decipher it. Still, before he can even attempt to figure it out, it’s gone and Changkyun’s expression shifts back to its typical nonchalance.

“Maybe you can train yourself to be left-handed,” Changkyun jokes.

Minhyuk can’t help the bark of laughter that escapes him in response. “You know, I can’t believe I never thought of that.”

“What can I say? You right-handed people always forget that we left-handers even exist.” He shakes his head in mock disapproval. “Incredibly egocentric of you.”

“You’re left-handed?”

Changkyun raises his left hand and does a little wave. “Indeed, I am.”

“Between the left-handedness and the living in America, it seems like I’m learning quite a lot of new things about you today.”

“There’s plenty more where that came from. Are you interested in finding out?” Changkyun asks with a twinkle in his eye that Minhyuk thinks is definitely borderline flirtatious.

Minhyuk didn’t once think that going on this sorta-maybe-date with Changkyun would be considered betrayal to his soulmate, but for some reason, the way that Changkyun is looking at him and the way his heart is speeding up in response feels like it could be.

He says yes anyway.

Changkyun has made a habit of stopping by Minhyuk’s cafe for coffee on his way to the studio each morning. It’s a habit that would have been extremely financially irresponsible if not for Minhyuk always giving him his drink for free.

On slower mornings, he’ll stay and chat with Minhyuk for a bit, banking on the assumption that no customer would come for a walk-in right at opening time. In his defense, he has years of data to back up that it's a very reasonable assumption.

There are, of course, busier days where Minhyuk is flooded with orders, but even then, he doesn’t fail to draw a cute little doodle on Changkyun’s cup each time. Minhyuk seems to be a really good artist, at least from what Changkyun can tell by looking at his quick doodles—the level of quality he can produce in about fifteen seconds with a sharpie on a plastic cup is probably better than what some people could do in fifteen hours. He even makes sure to switch up the drawings each time, which Changkyun always looks forward to seeing.

Today though, when he receives the cup from Minhyuk, the drawing makes him pause.

“Not a fan of whales?” Minhyuk asks upon seeing his hesitation.

“No, it’s cute! I promise I don’t have a vendetta against whales,” he quickly tries to remedy. “I’m just a little out of it because I didn’t sleep well yesterday.”

“Okay, good. If you did have a vendetta against whales, then I’d have to cut you off. Whale-haters aren’t allowed to have free coffee.”

“Are you the leader of the whale protection squad or something?”

Minhyuk laughs. “I know you’re joking, but if that was a real thing, I think I actually might apply. I think whales are really cool.”

“Is there a reason you like them so much?”

“They’re just so, big, you know?”

That certainly wasn’t an answer Changkyun was expecting. “I can’t say that I do? I mean, obviously I realize that whales are very large creatures, but I don’t follow how that fact explains your obsession with them.”

“They’re these humungous creatures that travel such long distances so freely. Sometimes it makes me feel so small and insignificant in comparison, but also like if I got on one’s back, it could take me anywhere. Like there’d be no more limits.”

Changkyun is about to ask what that means when the familiar jingle of bells signals the opening of the door. To his disappointment, he looks over to find a group of customers walk into the cafe.

He shoots Minhyuk an apologetic glance. “It looks like that’s my cue to go.”

“Stop acting like I’m kicking you out or something. You’re always welcome to stay longer.”

“It’s okay, I don’t wanna obstruct your business any more than I already do by taking all this free coffee. Besides, I have a business of my own that I should probably be getting to.”

“Yeah, that’s fair,” Minhyuk says, though the slight disappointment is clear in the way his expression drops.

“We’ll find another time to talk about whales. I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that!” Minhyuk calls after him as he walks away from the counter.

When Changkyun walks out of the cafe, he stares down at the whale on his cup. It reminds him far too much of the whale painted across his ribcage. It’s not a tattoo that he particularly likes to look at, but the image is seared into his brain nonetheless.

Of all his tattoos, it’s the only one that he didn’t actually want—the only one that he wishes were gone.

It makes sense, in hindsight. The tattoo is a mark of his soulmate and that soulmate just so happens to be Minhyuk. Logically, it should then follow that Minhyuk has some sort of connection to whales. It makes complete sense, but Changkyun still finds himself taken aback by the sudden reminder that Minhyuk is in fact his soulmate.

He’d decided to ignore that information for the time being and he’d been doing a pretty good job of it. Until now, that is.

Changkyun sighs as he unlocks the door to the studio, praying that a customer will walk-in any moment. Especially today, he could really use the distraction.

Unfortunately for him, it’s as slow a day as ever and it doesn’t seem likely that anyone will be coming in. As he doodles some sketches for potential tattoos, he finds that he keeps drawing whales, unable to take his mind off of his earlier conversation with Minhyuk.

When Changkyun thinks of whales, he always remembers the story of the 52-hertz whale. It wanders the ocean searching for another, but calling at a frequency far different from any of its kind. People started calling it the loneliest whale in the world.

The most striking part of the story, the part that really fascinated Changkyun when he first heard it, was how the whale never stopped calling even when it never received any response. He wonders if it hoped each time that something would change—that there would finally be a reply.

He thinks that if that’s true, then that’s the true tragedy of the story. After all, there’s nothing more painful than having hope only to have it crushed time and time again.

He wonders if Minhyuk ever feels that way.

Maybe the fact that his tattoo for Minhyuk is a whale holds more significance than just the fact that Minhyuk is a fan of the animal. Changkyun thinks that Minhyuk is a little bit like the 52-hertz whale in a way. He keeps searching for his soulmate, reaching his hand out to anyone who might take it, only to be met with nothing in return.

Changkyun suddenly feels an overwhelming sense of guilt. Minhyuk may have to deal with that forever, continuing to be faced with disappointment after disappointment, completely unaware that his soulmate has already found him. He wonders if he at least owes Minhyuk the truth.

But would that really be any better?

If Changkyun doesn’t tell him, then he may continue to search for his soulmate for the rest of his life and continue to get his hopes crushed each time. If he does tell him, Minhyuk will have to accept the fact that his soulmate can’t be with him.

Changkyun doesn’t know which would be less painful, to live in ignorance with false hope or to have to accept the hard truth. He does know for sure that either way, Minhyuk will be hurt.

It’s not like he wants Minhyuk to be hurt. In fact, that would be the last thing he wants.

While Changkyun isn’t quite willing to delve into the question of whether he really likes Minhyuk like that just yet, he knows at the very least that Minhyuk is a good person who definitely does not deserve to be going through this.

Minhyuk deserves to find his soulmate and live happily ever after with them. In theory, Changkyun could do that for him, but as much as he believes Minhyuk deserves to be with his soulmate, Changkyun simply can't be that person.

It’d be betraying his own beliefs, abandoning the ideals he painstakingly protected for twenty-five years of life. Wouldn’t it?

Changkyun is at a loss for what he should do. He’d like to continue following Kihyun’s advice and spend more time with Minhyuk without having to take the whole soulmate thing into account, but it’s proving to be rather difficult.

To his dismay, they live in a world where it’s impossible to ignore the existence of soulmates—a fact that he’s resented for as long as he can remember.

He could call Hoseok for advice, but as much as he loves his friend, Changkyun doesn’t know that he’d be particularly helpful in this situation. While he’s always been understanding of Changkyun’s views on soulmates, the man himself is a hopeless romantic. If Changkyun told him everything, he’d probably squeal in excitement and try to convince Changkyun to go for it.

Suddenly, he hears the sound of the door opening and he half expects to see Hoseok stroll in, always having a knack for showing up right at times like these. Instead though, he’s greeted by an unfamiliar face.

“The sign outside says you do walk-ins,” the man says hesitantly, more like a question than a statement.

“Oh, uh, yeah. I can do that,” Changkyun answers, flustered at the sudden appearance of a customer. He knows he’s the one who wished for it, but he wasn’t expecting anyone to actually show up. “I have some samples you can look through to see what kind of style you might like and then if you have any specific requests, I can whip up a quick sketch for you to see.”

“That’d be great, thank you!” The customer smiles brightly, as if Changkyun has just made his day by agreeing to do what he advertised.

“Ah, but before we get started on anything, I’d like you to read through this agreement,” Changkyun adds, pulling out a copy of the contract he gives customers.

The man, still smiling brightly, does not seem at all deterred by this and happily accepts the papers he’s handed. As he begins to read through the document though, Changkyun notices his eyebrows raise in surprise.

“Do people actually do stuff like this?”

Changkyun doesn’t know exactly which point he’s referring to, but the answer is the same nonetheless. “Yeah, it was originally just a safety waiver, but there were some… incidents… that led to more addendums. I’ve had my fair share of unhappy return customers who regretted their tattoos for one reason or another and it doesn’t always help, but I figured doing this was better than nothing. At least I’ll have some defense if one of them tries to take me to court one day.”

It’s meant to be a joke, but the customer doesn’t seem in the mood to laugh anymore. “I can’t believe there are so many people like that out there. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“As long as you don’t become one of them, you have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I could never!! And if you need more convincing, this isn’t even my first tattoo!” the customer declares adamantly. “I have a bunch, actually!”

Changkyun can’t help the light chuckle that escapes him. This customer’s determination to prove himself to Changkyun strangely reminds him of the first time he met Minhyuk and as has become rather clear, there’s a lot of things that Changkyun can’t help when it comes to Minhyuk.

Nevertheless, the mention of another tattoo intrigues him. After all, there aren’t many people who get tattoos outside of their soul marks—a fact he is well acquainted with as the owner of a tattoo shop nearing the brink of bankruptcy.

“Oh?” He doesn’t want to pry as he knows some people consider tattoos to be rather personal, but it’s human nature to be curious.

Luckily for him, the customer doesn’t seem to mind. He reaches out his arm to reveal a tattoo on his inner forearm—a scribble of concentric circles, very much imperfect, and the words “it can’t always be the same.”

He also shows off a few other tattoos, including one of a palm tree as well as his parents’ birth years, one on each arm.

“Did you have anything in mind for what you want today?” Changkyun asks.

“Definitely something small, maybe on my wrist. I was thinking about something with a smiley face and a sad face together, as a reminder that neither exists without the other.”

Changkyun’s eyes widen in surprise.

“Is something wrong?” the customer asks.

“No, nothing’s wrong. It’s just that I have something similar,” Changkyun says, holding out his wrist for the other man to see. “It was my first one. Well, not counting my soulmate one, that is.”

“Not a fan of soulmates?” the man asks, though it’s not accusatory in any way. Perhaps it should be expected of a man who has multiple non-soulmate tattoos, but Changkyun finds it refreshing nonetheless to be greeted with curiosity rather than hostility about soulmate matters.

“I never really liked the idea of being told which person is the right one for me,” he answers. “The person I end up with, the things tattooed on my body—I think those are things that I should be able to decide for myself.”

“Is that why you decided to open a tattoo parlor?”

“More or less, yeah. It’s probably not the smartest career choice in the world we live in, but I never really saw myself doing anything else,” Changkyun says. “Speaking of which though, let’s get back to your tattoo. Sorry for the tangent.”

“Don’t be! It’s always fun hearing difference perspectives,” the customer smiles brightly and Changkyun feels his own expression mirroring him. If only all people could think like that, Changkyun’s life would be a lot easier.

The rest of the process goes smoothly, the customer sketching out a rough design of what he has in mind. A small smiley face, a plus sign, and a small sad face on his wrist. It’s simple enough that Changkyun finishes the entire thing in under an hour. It also doesn’t hurt that the customer has experience and he can breeze through the explanations.

The customer is getting ready to leave when Changkyun finds their earlier conversation flash through his mind. He contemplates whether or not he should bring it up.

Ultimately, his curiosity gets the better of him.

“This might be rude and invasive of me to ask and you definitely don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but—do you believe in soulmates?”

The customer seems to contemplate the question for a moment, eyebrows scrunching in thought. Then, his expression brightens and the gentle smile returns to his face. “I’d like to.”

Changkyun is perplexed. He had asked a yes or no question and he never once considered that there could be more than two options. One either believes in soulmates or they don’t.

The man laughs at his confused expression. “I hope that my soulmate is the same person that I choose for myself. In that sense, I think I do at least want to believe in it. Whether or not that’s really the case though is something I’ll have to wait to find out, so until then, I’d like to believe, but that’s about it.”

“How do you know that you’re choosing for yourself and not somehow being influenced by the whole soulmate thing? What if you think it’s your choice, but it’s actually not because you’re blind to your own bias?”

“Hmm, I guess it’d impossible to really know for sure,” he replies far too easily. This is the question that Changkyun has been losing sleep over ever since he met Minhyuk and this stranger is able to simply shrug it off without a care in the world.

“And that doesn’t bother you?”

There’s a strange twinkle in the man’s eyes as he responds. “Not at all. In fact, I think that’s what makes it more meaningful—choosing to trust in something despite the uncertainty. It’s a bit romantic, don’t you think?”

Changkyun blinks slowly, not quite sure how to process that.

Sensing Changkyun’s hesitation (read: inner turmoil), the customer speaks up once again. “It’s probably not my place to say as a complete stranger and all, but I think whatever—or whoever— it is that you’re so hung up over is at least worth a shot.”

He offers a sheepish smile in response. “It’s that obvious?”

“Just a little,” the man answers, but Changkyun can tell he’s just being nice.

Changkyun grabs a piece of paper and a pen from the counter, quickly scribbling something down before handing it to him. “A special coupon for your next tattoo, if you decide to get one. As compensation for the free counseling session.”

“Well, I was already thinking that I should come back here if I want another tattoo and now I guess I really have no excuse not to. Thank you.”

“I’m the one who’s thankful. I promise I don’t normally do this to my customers, but thank you for indulging me.”

“I’m glad to be of help. See you around!”

Changkyun realizes only after the customer has left, that he never quite caught his name. It’s fascinating how a nameless stranger was able to so easily quell the doubts that have been bombarding his head for weeks.

Today, as he closes up the shop, he feels lighter than he has in a long time.

Minhyuk has always dreamed of going on an ice skating date, so it's not really a surprise when he invites Changkyun out for ice skating on the very first day the rink opens. Not that this is a date.

Changkyun may not be his soulmate, but Minhyuk is still enjoying getting to know him as a friend. He seems quiet at first glance, but in the most unassuming moments, becomes the most hilarious person Minhyuk has ever met.

He knows Changkyun isn't his soulmate, but he can't stop wishing that he were. And it's not like Minhyuk has ever been opposed to dating someone who wasn't his soulmate before he finds them, but something about this specifically feels wrong.

Dating someone who isn't his soulmate before he meets them seems harmless enough in theory, but the way he's starting to feel about Changkyun is far from it—this feels vaguely like betrayal.

But it should be fine, as long as it's not a date. He’s doing his best to come to terms with the fact that Changkyun isn’t his soulmate, but he doesn’t want to stop seeing him in the process. Surely, they can still hang out as friends, no?

It doesn't count as a date if they don't hold hands, right? He helps Changkyun up when he slips on the ice, but promptly lets go of his hand because they're here as friends, not on a date.

Once they've tired themselves out from skating, feet starting to hurt from the rental skates that fit just a little too tight in some places and a little too loose in others, they decide to continue their dat—casual hangout elsewhere.

Minhyuk doesn't know who's crazier, himself for suggesting they get ice cream in the middle of winter or Changkyun for agreeing to it.

"So what made you think, 'I could really go for some ice cream right now,' on this fine winter day?" Changkyun asks.

"There's never a bad time for ice cream, Changkyun-ah."

"I think the lack of customers here might beg to differ."

"But the store's still open. If they aren't bankrupt, then I think that's pretty good evidence that they get enough business," Minhyuk reasons. "Besides, you still agreed to it, didn't you?"

Changkyun laughs. "Yeah, I suppose you got me there."

Minhyuk gets his usual strawberry flavor and turns to see what Changkyun has chosen, only to be met with a travesty.

“I can’t believe you got mint chocolate chip,” Minhyuk says, face scrunching in disgust.

“It’s good,” Changkyun answers simply, taking a bite.

“You’re basically eating toothpaste, oh my god, I don’t even want to be seen with you anymore.”

Changkyun rolls his eyes, but chuckles. “Don’t you think that’s a little dramatic?”

“I think it’s a very reasonable response to witnessing such a monstrosity.”

Despite being insulted, Changkyun laughs and Minhyuk thinks it’s adorable. He really wants to kiss him.

Changkyun probably tastes of mint chocolate chip, a disgusting blend of chocolate and toothpaste, and yet, Minhyuk still wants to kiss him.

Changkyun is not his soulmate, and yet, Minhyuk still desperately wants to kiss him.

As his own ice cream starts to melt and drip down the side of the cone, he thinks that he might be in more trouble than he previously thought.

Changkyun doesn’t know what he’s doing on a walk in the park in the middle of winter.

It’s a bit concerning, perhaps, how easily he agrees to Minhyuk’s strange whims. Normally, he considers himself to be a rational person, but when it comes to Minhyuk, he can never seem to find his sense of reason.

“We’re here!” Minhyuk says, pulling Changkyun from his thoughts.

Changkyun finally takes a moment to look at their surroundings and finds bright, red flowers all around them.

“They’re camelias,” Minhyuk explains. “This is my secret place. In the summer, they just look like normal bushes, so no one really notices them and I guess no one has taken the time to explore this deep into the park in winter.”

“I feel honored to be let in on the secret,” Changkyun says.

“As you should be. If I suddenly find a lot of people coming here, I’ll assume you betrayed me and come hunt you down.”

“Why would you assume it’s me and not someone else who randomly stumbled across it?”

“Seems pretty unlikely considering I don’t think there are many people crazy enough to take a long walk in the park in the dead of winter.”

“There’s two right here. Who’s to say there aren’t more?”

“I’d like to think we’re special,” Minhyuk answers.

Changkyun looks at Minhyuk whose eyes are practically sparkling and thinks, yeah, this is pretty special.

“Did you know that camellias are most commonly associated with unyielding love?”

The question takes Changkyun by surprise, not entirely sure what to make of the potential implications of such an inquiry.

“No, why is that?”

“Well, of course there’s the fact that they bloom through the winter which some people like to interpret as a love that can withstand any hardship, but the less obvious reason comes from what happens when they wilt. Normally, petals will fall off one by one, but for camellias, the whole flower falls together—inseparable even in death.”

“I didn’t realize that was possible.”

“Yeah, isn’t it cool? People pluck flowers and admire them during their short-lived prime, but stop caring once they begin to wilt. It’s kinda sad,” Minyuk says, before sheepishly glancing at Changkyun. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to start rambling about flowers.”

“I don’t mind at all. It’s interesting,” he reassures. “You seem to know a lot about plants.”

“I guess since I got my soulmate tattoo, I developed an interest in flowers,” he explains. “At first, I was just trying to find some sort of clue about my soulmate, but then I genuinely started to find it interesting.”

“What made you open a cafe, then? Instead of doing something with flowers?”

“Honestly, I considered opening a flower shop instead for a while, but I thought I’d be able to meet more people working in a cafe—I thought I’d have a better chance at meeting my soulmate.”

Changkyun stills. “You do a lot for your soulmate.”

“Well, yeah. It’s my soulmate.”

“Even if you don’t know who it is yet?”

“That’s how it works. I know you don’t believe in it, but I do. I want to.”

“I know. And I’m not trying to judge or imply that you shouldn’t but I’m just—” He pauses, looking for the right word. “—curious, I guess. I never really understood, but I think I want to. Or at least try to.”

Curious, is not in fact the right word. Changkyun has never been interested in the idea of soulmates and that has not changed, but somehow everything else about the situation has. He knows he needs to tell Minhyuk the truth, but he has no clue how he possibly could. Changkyun needs to gather more information, to approach this more carefully, if he’s going to do this in a way that hurts Minhyuk the least.

“Well, I’m not sure how well I can really explain it, but I’ll do my best,” Minhyuk says. “I know soulmates are supposed to be fated and that you’ll meet them when the time is right, but I always felt restless just waiting for it to happen. Maybe if I had chosen to run a small, flower shop with barely enough customers to stay afloat, I would’ve met my soulmate all the same. But maybe, interacting with so many more people on a daily basis through the cafe will help me meet them sooner. I’ll never know which is the case, but if I’m choosing between letting something happen or making an effort to make it happen, I’ll always choose the latter.”

“Have you ever wondered if you’ll be disappointed by your soulmate? If you’ll end up trying so hard for someone who doesn’t deserve it?” Changkyun asks, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, though he's unsure if it actually does anything to ward off suspicion.

“Never. Not once,” Minhyuk answers easily. So easily that Changkyun is slightly frightened by his confidence.

Minhyuk looks at him appraisingly, as if searching for why he’s so interested in such a topic. He quickly moves on though and Changkyun really hopes it’s because he couldn’t find the answer rather than the alternative.

“I don’t think love is as transactional as you make it out to be,” he continues. “When people really love someone, it’s not because they expect to receive love back. It’s nice, of course, when it’s reciprocated, but I think there’s something beautiful in giving your all for someone else’s happiness regardless of whether or not it’ll be returned.”

“You’re a good person, hyung. You deserve to be loved by someone great,” Changkyun says, though he’s losing confidence by the second that he’s capable of being that person anymore.

“You keep saying that—being deserving or not. I don’t think love is something you need to earn. I don’t think there’s anyone on this planet who isn’t deserving of love, Changkyun,” Minhyuk says.

His voice is so warm, a stark contrast from the cold air outside and Changkyun almost feels his skin prickle from the sudden change in temperature.

“Unless they’re a murderer or kick puppies or something,” Minhyuk adds, the serious air immediately dissipating and Changkyun laughs.

But just as quickly as the mood had shifted from serious to silly, Minhyuk brings it right back. He looks straight into Changkyun’s eyes with what might be the softest gaze he’s ever received and simply says, “I don’t think you’re either of those.”

Changkyun falters under his stare. It was obvious all along that these hypothetical questions were not particularly hypothetical, but he feels exposed now that Minhyuk has drawn attention to it—to him.

“You never know. You only met me a few weeks ago,” he chokes out.

“I really don’t think you’re capable of kicking puppies, Changkyun.”

He sees the genuine trust in Minhyuk’s eyes and feels guilt wash over him. He imagines Minhyuk might wear an expression akin to a kicked puppy if he finds out what Changkyun’s been hiding.

He wonders if he could still say the same thing then.

Minhyuk has spent his entire life dreaming of his soulmate. If he ever sees an iris in the display window of a flower shop, he always ends up going in and buying one. Even if he knows there’s no real purpose behind it, if it’s anything to do with his soulmate, he always jumps at the chance.

He's lived his life up until this point waiting for the day he gets to meet his soulmate. It’s the first thought that runs through his mind as he wakes up in the morning and the last thought he has before he falls asleep.

Searching for his soulmate is all Minhyuk has ever known, which is why he’s at a loss for what to do right now.

Instead of falling asleep and waking up to the thought of his soulmate, his head is preoccupied with thoughts of none other than Im Changkyun.

Changkyun is not his soulmate—a fact that he laments more and more with each passing day—but he feels like he should be. Changkyun feels like everything he’s been dreaming of since he found out what a soulmate was.

He can’t bring himself to abandon the love he’s been searching for for years. And yet, if love isn’t Changkyun, then he can’t imagine what is.

In his daze, he completely forgets about the task at hand. He looks down to see that the milk that he’d been frothing for a latte has been rendered completely unusable. It’s a testament to his years of training as a barista that the temperature of the jug hadn’t alerted him to his mistake earlier; an average person with normal sensitivity to heat would probably have dropped it with a shout by now.

“Minhyuk-hyung, are you okay?”

Minhyuk turns around to find Jooheon watching him with a raised brow, probably having witnessed the whole thing.

“If you were watching me, why didn’t you say something earlier?”

“Well, by the time I realized you weren’t gonna stop anytime soon, I was kinda curious to see how long you’d last and I gotta say, you really exceeded my expectations, hyung. Do you even have nerve endings in your hands?”

Minhyuk rolls his eyes at him. “Well, now that your curiosity has been satisfied, help me with the next order.”

“Yes, sir,” Jooheon answers, already making his way towards the blender for the next customer’s frappuccino.

Jooheon is one of Minhyuk’s closest friends who helps out at the cafe part-time when he’s free. He knows about Changkyun—Minhyuk’s admittedly a bit of a blabbermouth and couldn’t keep it to himself for longer than a day—but he has also failed to offer any useful advice.

Once they get through the line of customers, Jooheon turns to Minhyuk. “Do you wanna take your break early today? You seem even more out of it than usual.”

Minhyuk seriously considers the offer, but he doesn’t think that a break will do much to help his current state. “Nah, if I take a break, then I’ll just go back to thinking about Changkyun and if I think any harder than I already have, my brain really might just explode.”

“Hyung, I still don’t really get why you’re so stressed out about all of this. Clearly, you like this guy a lot. Just go for it.”

Minhyuk scoffs. “It’s not that easy. He’s not even my soulmate.”

Jooheon raises an eyebrow. “The way you talk about him, it sure sounds like he is sometimes. You sure you didn’t make a mistake when you thought he touched your tattoo?”

“Jooheon, he touched it. I’m sure of it.”

“Okay, okay, fine. It’s just that you’re clearly miserable trying to convince yourself that you don’t like him. If I were you, I’d just follow my heart.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You found Hyungwon like a month after you got your tattoo.”

Jooheon always tells Minhyuk to follow his heart and Minhyuk doesn’t think it’s very fair of him to say because Jooheon has never had his heart tell him something different than his destiny. In fact, his destiny had very swiftly guided him right to his soulmate shortly after his eighteenth birthday and his heart had quickly followed suit.

As much as Minhyuk trusts Jooheon as a friend, he knows he could never really understand what it feels like. Sure, he wants to listen to his heart and ask Changkyun to go out with him right this second, but he can’t in good conscience do that without his brain screaming at him that he’ll only make things worse.

Sure, he likes Changkyun a lot right now, but he’s not naive enough to think that feelings can never change. At the end of the day, Changkyun is not his soulmate and though the Minhyuk of the present may be convinced that Changkyun is more than worth it, if there comes a day when his real soulmate comes along, he can’t know how the Minhyuk of the future will respond.

To follow his heart right now would be selfish and Changkyun would be the one to suffer the most. He can’t let that happen.

“Hello? Earth to Minhyuk-hyung,” Jooheon calls, waving a hand in front of his face.

“Huh?”

“You’re zoning out again,” he sighs. “I know you said you didn’t wanna take a break, but no offense, I don’t think you’re of much help to the cafe in this state. Maybe you should just take the rest of the day off and find a distraction that doesn’t run the risk of accidentally burning yourself. Or someone else, for that matter.”

Minhyuk wants to argue, to tell Jooheon that a responsible cafe owner wouldn’t abandon his shop in the middle of the day, to show him that he' can push through. The words can’t seem to escape his lips though.

He supposes a responsible cafe owner probably wouldn’t screw up a basic latte either.

Dropping his head in defeat, he thanks Jooheon and makes his way to the staff room to gather his things.

In hindsight, considering how unhelpful Jooheon’s advice was, Minhyuk doesn’t know why he hoped Jooheon’s soulmate’s advice could be any better. Still, being a model with an irregular work schedule, he was practically Minhyuk’s only option in the middle of the standard work day.

He and Hyungwon have been arguing back and forth since Minhyuk arrived an hour ago.

“Why did you even barge into my home if you were just gonna reject all of my advice?” Hyungwon complains.

“How dare you! I did not barge in, I literally texted to ask for permission and you agreed. I have literal read receipts!”

“And then you asked for advice, which I provided, so I don’t see the problem here.”

“The problem is that your advice is stupid! It’s not even advice! You just keep telling me that I’m overthinking and to stop!”

“Well, yeah, because you are and you should. You’re complicating things for no reason,” Hyungwon says.

“It’s not for no reason! If I do this halfheartedly and end up changing my mind, I might hurt him.”

Hyungwon sighs in exasperation, the way an underpaid tutor would after explaining the same concept to their bratty client for the tenth time. “Do you think he’s stupid?”

“What? No, of course not!”

“Because it kinda seems like you think he is. He’s a grown man, he can handle himself just fine even if things don’t work out.”

“But if I decide to date him and then my soulmate shows up right then and I end things, won’t he be upset, betrayed even?”

“You said he’s been against soulmate tattoos his whole life, right? I’m sure he knows what he’s getting into if he still chooses to date someone who does believe in them.”

“I just don’t want to hurt him. If this ends with me hurting him, then I don’t want to start.”

“First of all, that’s an if and second, don’t you think he deserves to have some input in this too? Shouldn’t he be the one to decide if it’s worth that risk?”

“I—” Minhyuk falters. Lee Minhyuk is rarely ever speechless, but in this moment, he must begrudgingly admit defeat. Suddenly, his will to fight back crumbles and whatever retort he may have had dissipates into nothingness.

Hyungwon shoots him a smug look that’s practically begging Minhyuk to smack him for it, but he resists. After all, no matter how annoying, it’d be pretty rude to attack the friend who spent the past hour listening to you talk about your boy problems.

“Great,” Hyungwon says. “Now, that we’ve got that solved, it’s time for my afternoon nap.”

Minhyuk rolls his eyes. He’s getting kicked out in favor of nap time again. At this point, Minhyuk isn’t even surprised by it anymore. If anything, he’s surprised that it took this long.

Still, this might be the ultimate sign of friendship coming from Hyungwon—to sacrifice even a minute of his precious sleep is a big deal after all—and for that, Minhyuk is grateful.

He walks out of Hyungwon’s apartment with practiced ease, letting the door auto-lock behind him. Personally, he’s never quite liked auto-locks for fear of accidentally locking himself out, and he’s pretty sure Hyungwon only ever wanted the feature so that he wouldn’t have to physically get up to see people out the door.

Of course, there are more important things to ponder than the pros and cons of auto-locks, but Minhyuk’s brain seems to be prioritizing simplicity over importance.

After all, if he tried to make a pros and cons list about whether to ask Changkyun on another date, he doesn’t even know if he could get one item down before having a mental breakdown.

Pro: Changkyun is cute and funny and has the most beautiful nose Minhyuk has ever seen.

But then again, that could also be a con because it’s unfair that someone so seemingly perfect for him is, by some greater being’s decision, not actually the one meant for him.

Still, Minhyuk has to admit that Hyungwon was right. He’s only been thinking about this from his own point of view.

He wonders what Changkyun’s pros and cons list would look like. Do they overlap at all or are the things Minhyuk is worried about not even significant enough to make it onto Changkyun’s list?

Of course, this is information that he’ll never actually find out because not only would it be bizarre to ask Changkyun if he’s ever thought about the pros and cons of dating him, but he’d also have to admit that he’s thought extensively about the pros and cons of dating Changkyun. Minhyuk will absolutely not be doing that.

The underlying question still remains though. How does Changkyun even feel about him in the first place? Minhyuk thinks that the chemistry between them is undeniable, but there is a chance that it’s all in his own head and Changkyun never thought of him that way in the first place. Flirty lines could have been intended as just friendly banter.

The thought makes him unreasonably sad for someone who is actively choosing to keep things at a standstill. He’s had plenty more opportunities to spend more time with Changkyun, but he’s been refusing to turn any of those into reality recently.

Lately, Minhyuk spends his days at the coffee shop waiting in anticipation for the possibility of Changkyun stopping by, but chooses not to make use of the perfectly functioning cell phone on his person at all times by actually inviting him over.

It occurs to him that maybe the reason he’s been unable to concentrate on anything but Changkyun is simply because he misses him and his heart is hijacking all of his thoughts to signal that it’s about time he sees him again.

Minhyuk realizes that there are two separate issues at play here: the matter of Changkyun not being his soulmate and the separate matter of him simply missing Changkyun. The first is, of course, still a headache with no discernible solution, but the latter has a very simple fix.

He reaches into his pocket to grab his phone to text Changkyun.

Except it isn’t there.

Minhyuk checks every pocket and comes up empty-handed, so he can only conclude that he’d somehow forgotten it at Hyungwon’s place. His friend who is most definitely taking a nap right now probably wouldn’t appreciate being awoken and having his sleep even further disrupted by Minhyuk.

He could always run back to the cafe and make Jooheon call him instead because one of his soulmate privileges is avoiding the wrath of a prematurely awakened Hyungwon. He could very easily do that, but it occurs to him that if he’s going to go all the way back there anyway, there might be an even better solution.

Before he knows it, his legs are taking him right to the door of Changkyun’s tattoo parlor. The now familiar chime rings as he opens the door.

“Welcome. How can I help you toda—” Changkyun starts with practiced ease before he actually looks up. “Minhyuk-hyung?”

Minhyuk is panting slightly from the run here. In hindsight, he’s not quite sure why he ran when there was no real need to rush, but the closer he got, the more impatient he became and his desire to see Changkyun sent the signal to his brain to speed up his legs.

Changkyun looks slightly confused, but the corners of his mouth turn up in amusement. “Why don’t you sit down for a bit and I’ll get you some water?”

“I’m fine, I’m not that out of shape,” Minhyuk says, panting, only for Changkyun to raise his eyebrows at him. “Okay, yeah, fine. Water would be nice.”

Changkyun chuckles and disappears into the back room. When he returns a few moments later, he holds out a bottle of water and Minhyuk thanks him before downing half of it in one gulp.

“Not that I’m unhappy about you coming to visit me—work is a little slow, as you can probably infer from the lack of customers—but is there a reason you ran here so frantically? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, nothing’s wrong! I just wanted to ask you something.”

“And I’m guessing you dropped your phone down a sewer grate so you couldn’t just text.”

“Don’t even joke about that, it’s my greatest fear in life.” He shudders at the mere thought. “Actually, I accidentally left it at a friend’s place, but I’m pretty sure he’s napping right now and if I wake him up, he may murder me, so I guess both are similarly terrifying.”

“Well, we can’t risk that, now can we?” Changkyun answers with a teasing grin.

Minhyuk is fully aware that, in the overall scheme of things, he really hasn’t known Changkyun for very long, but he can’t help but think how much he missed this, how he wished he’d come by sooner.

“Yeah, because if I was murdered, then I wouldn’t be able to ask you out on another date.”

Minhyuk takes delight in the adorable look of surprise that passes Changkyun’s face.

“Oh? When were you thinking of?” he asks through a cough, clearly trying to play it cool. It’s not working, but Minhyuk finds it adorable nonetheless.

“I have off from the cafe next Friday.”

Changkyun runs to his desk, presumable checking his appointment schedule, only to look back up at Minhyuk with a regretful gaze. “I can’t do next Friday.”

“Oh,” Minhyuk says dumbly. Somehow, he didn’t consider this outcome. He quickly scans through his memory of his shift schedule for the next week, but his options are limited because it’s his turn to work the weekend closing shifts. Then, it suddenly hits him—why wait until next week?

“How about tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow?” Changkyun parrots back with a light chuckle.

“Yeah, let me take you out to dinner,” he adds, eyes hopeful.

Minhyuk watches as a smile starts to form on Changkyun’s lips before he responds, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“It’s a date then! I’ll text you the details later.”

“After you retrieve your phone back?”

“Oh, right. I should probably go do that.”

“I pray that your friend has finished his nap, so you won’t have to face his wrath. It’d be terribly sad if my date stood me up tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry, I’d never let that happen,” Minhyuk answers as he makes his way out. He’s halfway out the door, but pokes his head back in to add, “I’d bring myself back to life and come back as a zombie before I let you be stood up.”

Changkyun laughs, the sound more and more pleasing to Minhyuk’s ears with each listen. “A date with a zombie would certainly be a first.”

“Don’t get too excited. Plan A is still to not get murdered by my roommate.”

“Oh, so becoming a zombie is plan B?”

“No, of course not, silly,” Minhyuk teases. “Obviously, it’s plan Z.”

“Then, what’s plan B through Y?”

“That’s for me to know, and for you to hopefully never find out,” Minhyuk says with a wink. “See you tomorrow.”

Changkyun is well aware that, at this point of seeing someone, the other person usually breaks it off, deciding that waiting for their soulmate is more important.

He doesn’t resent them for it. After all, it’d be hypocritical of him to criticize their view on soulmates when he gets upset that so many do the same to him.

Minhyuk had texted him the details yesterday night, apparently after safely retrieving his phone back from his potentially murderous when sleep deprived friend, and told him he’d pick him up at six.

It’s only five now, but Changkyun finished getting ready over an hour ago. He didn’t have any appointments scheduled for today anyway and didn’t want to deal with a surprise walk-in making him late, so he’s been home all day.

On the bright side, it left him plenty of time to get ready, but on the other hand, it also left him far too much time with his own thoughts.

Minhyuk had called it a date. He didn’t say “hey, let’s grab dinner” or something vaguely casual; he said “let me take you to dinner.”

Maybe other people, most people even, would find it silly to fuss over such a small change in wording, but Changkyun is a sucker for semantics.

He’s met plenty of guys before who invite him out to dinner and do date-like activities with him, but strictly on the condition that they never call it a date. Even if it’s a textbook date, a course straight out of a classic romantic comedy, if anyone asks, it suddenly becomes “just grabbing dinner” or “a casual hangout.”

Changkyun knows why they do it; even when they’re with him, they’re still thinking about their soulmate. They don’t want to be the person who was dating around before they met their soulmate, so instead, they do everything that dating entails without giving it a name, as if that makes it any different.

It’s always the same. They think themselves geniuses for coming up with such a plan, but in reality, Changkyun’s seen it all before—he can spot it from a mile away.

Correction: it was always the same.

It’s not the same anymore because Minhyuk is different. Minhyuk, who believes in soulmates, who has always dreamed of meeting his soulmate, is asking him, who Minhyuk knows (thinks) is not his soulmate, on a date.

Changkyun doesn’t know how to make sense of how he should be feeling right now. He’s happy, so inexplicably happy, that Minhyuk likes him enough to ask him on another date even knowing that they aren’t soulmates. And yet, he feels immense guilt because that’s not true—they are soulmates.

He’s been thinking about when and how to tell him the truth for a while now, but the answer still evades him.

Changkyun sighs, glancing at the clock; it’s already five-thirty. Knowing that Minhyuk tends to be early, he goes to the bathroom to check the mirror one last time.

Noticing a strand of hair that’s fallen out of place, he combs through it a few times until he’s satisfied with how it looks. Hopefully, it’s not obvious how much time he spent fiddling with it earlier. Despite all his efforts, he doesn’t know if he’s mastered the effortless look quite yet.

Suddenly, he hears the doorbell ring and he rushes to the door. In his haste, the same strand of hair from earlier once again falls out of place and he makes a reminder to himself to never use this brand of hairspray ever again.

“Sorry, I’m a bit early. I can wait outside if you’re not ready yet! I just—” Minhyuk offers an uncharacteristically shy smile. “I got excited to see you.”

Changkyun feels his heart tighten in a way he’s never felt before, not in a bad way though; it feels a bit like a firm hug. Offhandedly, he wonders if his heart was always capable of such things or if this is a weird soulmate side effect. The latter line of thought sours the feeling a bit.

“It’s okay, I was ready to go anyway. I started getting ready pretty early,” Changkyun answers. “I was excited too.”

Minhyuk beams at him in a way that Changkyun thinks should come with a brightness warning. “Then, let’s go.” He holds out a hand and Changkyun gladly takes it.

“You look good,” Minhyuk comments, reaching out to brush the stray strand of hair out of Changkyun’s face.

Changkyun mumbles back a “thanks,” feeling the heat rushing to his cheeks. Earlier he was cursing out that strand of hair for being unable to stay put, but now, he’s not so mad about it anymore.

It’s only then that Changkyun realizes he hasn’t even gotten a proper look at Minhyuk yet today—too distracted by other thoughts. Suddenly though, he finds that he can’t look away.

Minhyuk catches him staring. “What are you looking at?”

“You,” Changkyun answers dumbly. He coughs to hide his embarrassment. “I mean, you look good today too. Really good.”

“Thank you.” Minhyuk looks at him with eyes of unrestrained adoration and Changkyun shies away from the gaze.

There’s something different about the way Minhyuk is acting today. Maybe different isn’t the right word—it’s hard to describe. It feels the same as before, but also like so much more. It feels as if everything has been amplified by a factor of ten, maybe even a hundred, and Changkyun doesn’t know how to handle it.

He follows quietly as Minhyuk leads him to a nearby restaurant. It’s a fancy Italian place that Changkyun has passed plenty of times before, but has never actually entered despite the proximity to his apartment; it’s always seemed like too much of an occasion and Changkyun isn’t in the habit of turning random days into celebrations.

“Have you ever been here before?” Minhyuk asks.

“No, I always walk by it, but it’s a bit much for me to just go to alone or even with a friend,” Changkyun answers. It’s too clearly meant for dates, a fancy candlelit dinner and all, and Changkyun has never had people trying to take him out on proper dates.

“Well, now you can come with me.” Minhyuk says it so matter-of-factly—like he’s confident that they’ll be able to come again. He implies he wants to see Changkyun again after this, and will continue to want to see him again after that.

Changkyun knows there’s no threat of Minhyuk’s soulmate showing up to put an end to that because it’s not like he could cockblock himself, but Minhyuk doesn’t know that.

Changkyun can’t understand how Minhyuk can suddenly be so confident that he’ll keep seeing Changkyun when he’s always been the type of person who longs to meet his soulmate. He doesn’t know what to make of it.

“Did you decide what you want?” Minhyuk asks.

Changkyun looks up from the menu that he hasn’t even skimmed. He knows Minhyuk is obviously asking about what he wants to eat, but his brain twists the question into something else entirely.

Have you decided what you want to do about this mess you’ve created? Did you decide if you should tell him? When and how you should tell him?

“Not yet. What about you?”

“Then, how about we both get the chef’s course?"

Changkyun glances down at the menu and his eyes go straight to the price. He knew this place was fancy, but he somehow didn’t notice the extent until this moment.

Minhyuk must notice how his eyes widen and says, “Don’t look at the price. Today’s on me.” He reaches a hand over and blocks out the price column of the menu (and at least half of its other contents, but it’s not like Changkyun had been looking anyway).

“But Minhyuk-hyung—”

“No buts,” Minhyuk cuts him off. “Let me properly wine and dine you.”

Before Changkyun can get another word in, Minhyuk calls the server over and orders not only the chef’s course, but also a bottle of wine to go with it. Changkyun isn’t exactly an expert on wine, but whatever the server explains about tannins and subtle notes of some obscure flavor he couldn’t quite catch makes it sound expensive.

Still, when Minhyuk holds out his glass, waiting expectantly for Changkyun to follow suit, he finds that he doesn’t have the power to deny him. They clink their glasses together and take a sip.

“So what’s the occasion?” Changkyun asks, trying to sound as casual as he can, as if he hasn’t spent the past few hours pondering this very question.

“I missed you, so I wanted to ask you on a date.”

“But why here?”

“Why not here? Do you not like it?”

“It’s not that I don’t like it—it’s just, a lot, and I don’t understand what occasion we’re here for.”

“You keep saying that—occasion.”

“Well, yeah, it just feels like the kind of place people come to celebrate something.”

“I can’t just celebrate being able to see you?”

Changkyun nearly chokes on his wine, having timed his sip rather poorly. “Hyung, you can’t just say things like that.”

“Why not?”

He feels his cheeks redden and he’s suddenly grateful for the dim lighting in the restaurant. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Maybe that’s what I’m aiming for. You’re cute when you’re embarrassed.”

“Minhyuk-hyung, seriously.”

“Okay, okay, fine. I’ll stop for now.” The “for now” doesn’t go unnoticed by Changkyun, but he decides to let it be.

The food is served rather quickly, or at least Changkyun feels that it’s quick. Sometimes it’s hard to tell because time seems to move faster when he’s with Minhyuk, as if mirroring the rate of his own heartbeat.

He doesn’t even pay attention to what he’s eating, which may be blasphemous considering how much higher this price tag is than what he’s used to, but he finds listening to Minhyuk ramble about the different kinds of customers who came into the cafe today to be far more worthy of his focus.

Changkyun watches as Minhyuk continues to swirl the wine in his glass, but never takes a sip.

“How long are you gonna aerate the wine for?”

“What’s that?”

“Something about how the air changes how the wine tastes. That’s why snooty rich people always swirl their glasses so much,” Changkyun explains. “That’s not what you were doing?”

“Do you see me as a snooty rich person? I don’t know whether to be offended that you think I’m snooty or flattered that you think I’m rich.”

“Minhyuk-hyung, I don’t think you’re anything like a snooty rich person. I was just curious why you refuse to actually drink the wine you ordered.”

“I don’t actually drink much,” he answers, as if that explains everything and doesn’t raise more questions. “I think in about four more sips, I’ll be reaching my limit, so I’m trying to take it slow.”

“Then, why did you order a bottle of wine?”

“For the ambiance, of course.”

“And just a glass wasn’t enough? You really had to get the whole bottle?”

“Well, I couldn’t have you thinking I’m stingy, now could I?”

“With how much free coffee and pastries you’ve offered me at the cafe, I don’t think I’d ever arrive at that conclusion,” Changkyun laughs. “I must owe you a fortune by now.”

“You owe me nothing. Being able to see you is payment enough.”

“I thought we were done with all the cheesy comments.”

“I never specified how long I’d stop for,” Minhyuk replies, a teasing glint in his eye. “Seriously though, I don’t expect anything in return.”

“I know you probably won’t, but if you ever want a tattoo, it’ll definitely be free of charge.”

Minhyuk looks at him in surprise. “What makes you think I wouldn’t want one?”

It’s Changkyun’s turn to be surprised. “I mean, most people worry about how their soulmates would react.”

Again, Changkyun knows that Minhyuk’s soulmate wouldn’t have a problem with it, the soulmate in question being himself, but Minhyuk doesn’t know that. He feels the beginnings of a headache as his brain tries to make sense of it all.

Minhyuk smiles and looks him straight in the eye. “I’m not worried about my soulmate right now,” he says firmly.

Changkyun’s eyes widen. Is Minhyuk implying that he’d choose Changkyun over his soulmate? Even though he’s been dreaming of his soulmate since the day he learned of the very concept?

He doesn’t know if it’s the wine getting to him, but Changkyun feels his head spinning. He thinks he might be hallucinating because it doesn’t make sense for Minhyuk to choose to abandon his soulmate. It’s probably just an impulsive thing that he’ll take back sooner or later—that’s what everyone before has done, whether their actual soulmate showed up or not.

Still, this could work, couldn’t it? Minhyuk will stay with Changkyun until his soulmate shows up, except that soulmate will never show up because Changkyun never has to reveal that it’s him. As long as he makes sure Minhyuk never accidentally touches his tattoo, that is.

Right after the thought passes his mind, he immediately berates himself for it. Aside from the ridiculousness of trying to avoid Minhyuk coming into contact with his tattoo for a lifetime, he couldn’t possibly lie to Minhyuk for that long—he already has lied for too long.

He’s been handed a near-ideal outcome on a silver platter; he’d be able to be with Minhyuk and never have to reveal that they’re soulmates, but now that it’s been presented to him, he knows he can’t take it. Minhyuk deserves so much better than that—than him, really, after the way he’s treated him.

“Changkyun?” Minhyuk calls. “You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry.”

“Is this place too stuffy?” Minhyuk asks, concerned. “I knew I should’ve chosen somewhere else."

“No, it’s nice! It’s just different, I guess.”

“I don’t even like Italian food,” Minhyuk mumbles under his breath as Changkyun tries to explain himself.

He blinks as he processes what he just heard. “Hyung, what the fuck?”

“What?” Minhyuk asks. “Did I do something?”

“Yeah, you did. You ordered a whole bottle of wine when you don’t even drink. You brought me to an Italian restaurant when you hate Italian food.”

“I never said I hated it!” Minhyuk interrupts. “And besides, what’s wrong with that? It’s romantic!! I’m trying to wine and dine you.”

Changkyun laughs at the ease of it all, wondering if it really can be that easy. To do things with no consideration for anything besides the romance of it all.

He takes his wine glass and finishes the rest of its contents in a single sip. “Well then, consider me wined.”

He can’t tell if it’s the alcohol or the strange power Minhyuk’s presence seems to have on him but Changkyun feels oddly at ease. He’s still not quite looking forward to the conversation that looms ahead, but he knows he can’t put it off much longer.

The waiter brings the check quickly, as if trying to rush them out, and Changkyun can’t quite blame him. It was evident that they clashed with the restaurant’s intended clientele.

Changkyun leads Minhyuk back to his apartment in silence, though it’s not at all uncomfortable. He takes the time to sort through the words in his head, trying to string them into coherent sentences to convey everything to Minhyuk.

Perhaps Minhyuk senses it too because he remains uncharacteristically quiet on the short walk, giving Changkyun space to think.

They’re sat on his couch when Changkyun turns to face Minhyuk and almost forgets his original goal at the sight.

Minhyuk, here, in his apartment. Suddenly, he becomes painfully aware that it’s the first time they’ve been fully alone together behind closed doors. He’s tempted to forego the conversation entirely in favor of significantly more enjoyable activities.

He’s tempted, but he doesn’t give in.

Changkyun glances over at Minhyuk to help brace himself before he begins talking, but finds that Minhyuk too looks like he’s agonizing over what to say.

“I need to tell you something,” Minhyuk says, beating him to the chase. Changkyun blinks slowly in surprise, but nods his head in acknowledgement nonetheless.

“I like you, Changkyun. I like you a lot.”

Changkyun’s breath hitches. He really should’ve spoken up first.

“It should’ve been obvious considering I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the moment I met you, but I’m an idiot and I’m sorry it took me so long to figure that out.”

“Minhyuk-hyung, you—”

“No, don’t say anything yet. Please just hear me out first,” Minhyuk says.

Changkyun nods silently, unable to deny such a request, but he feels his insides churning. After all, how can he sit here and listen to Minhyuk apologize to him when Changkyun is the one who owes Minhyuk an apology, a thousand apologies even?

“I know you don’t believe in soulmates, but I do. I always have. From the moment I learned what a soulmate was, I couldn’t wait to meet mine. And thanks to the placement of my tattoo, I couldn’t help but let it take over my life. Every new person I met, every hand I shook or accidentally brushed against was inseparable from the small flicker of hope that this one might be the one. It became my everything.” He pauses for a moment, takes a breath, and looks straight at Changkyun. “Until I met you.”

“It was different with you, Changkyun. After so long, wondering if someone would turn out to be my soulmate turned into a habit with no real emotion behind it. When you came into the cafe that first time, I so desperately wanted you to be my soulmate—I was crushed when you weren’t.”

“Minhyuk-hyung,” Changkyun interjects, not quite sure if he can handle where this is going.

“I’m almost done, I promise,” Minhyuk counters, refusing to let Changkyun stop him. “I spent all this time trying to convince myself that I just wanted to get to know you as friends or that my feelings for you were just temporary and that it’d be irresponsible to act on them, but I was being an idiot. Soulmate or not, you’re the one I like, Changkyun—maybe more than just like, actually—and I’m done wasting time by pretending that’s not true. I’m sorry it took me so long to get here, but if you’ll have me, I’d really, really love to be your boyfriend.”

It turns out that Changkyun was right that he wouldn’t be able to handle where this was going. Any semblance of reason or self-control that was holding him together before suddenly crumbles away into nothing. He raises a hand to Minhyuk’s cheek and pulls him in for a kiss.

Minhyuk is still only for a moment as he recovers from the surprise, but catches on pretty quickly. He leans into the kiss, lips soft against Changkyun's own.

Changkyun wishes this moment would never end—that he doesn’t have to be the one to ruin it.

It’s Minhyuk who pulls away first. It’s Minhyuk who notices first.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, concerned. “You’re crying.”

Only then does Changkyun notice the teardrop falling from his eye. He’d been so caught up in Minhyuk, in savoring the feeling of his lips and lamenting the fact that this might be both the first and last time he’d get to feel them, that he didn’t realize he’d let his emotions get the better of him.

“Sorry,” he chokes out, not quite sure what else to say.

“You don’t have to apologize for anything.”

“No, I do. I—” He pauses, unable to find the right words. “I lied to you. Or well, I didn’t mean to, but I did and I’m sorry and I’d do anything to make it up to you, but I have no idea how and—”

“Okay, okay, hold on,” Minhyuk interrupts, putting a stop to his rambling. “Changkyun, you’re not making any sense. And also, I think you’re forgetting to breathe.”

He’s right, Changkyun realizes, deciding to take a deep breath before continuing. Except, of course, that he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to continue. How is one supposed to admit to another that they’ve been hiding a very important detail, basically deceiving them for the entirety of their knowing each other, in a way that won’t irreparably damage their relationship?

He knows the moment he says it out loud, this will be over, and he really, really can’t bear that thought. And yet, he also knows that every second he draws it out even longer is another second of disrespect to Minhyuk.

Changkyun doesn’t know if he can live with either, but if he had to choose, and right now he absolutely does, the latter is still worse.

The words don’t come out, so instead he lifts the right side of his hoodie to reveal the whale swimming across his ribcage. Wordlessly, he takes Minhyuk’s hand into his own and guides it to the tattoo.

He’s not brave enough to watch Minhyuk’s reaction, instead squeezing his eyes shut in fear until he eventually feels the warmth of Minhyuk’s hand on his skin replaced by a cold emptiness.

“Oh.”

Changkyun finally opens his eyes only to find Minhyuk’s unreadable expression. The silence is excruciating and he desperately wants to break it, but he can’t even begin to think of how.

“I think I should go,” Minhyuk says, finally breaking the silence—and Changkyun’s heart along with it.

Changkyun watches him as he walks out the door. He knows he should do something to try and stop him—reach for his hand, call out his name, anything—but he finds himself frozen in place.

He can’t tell if the chill he feels is his imagination or the light gust of wind from the door slamming shut. Then again, it doesn’t really matter either way.

Either way, he already misses Minhyuk’s warmth.

Contrary to what one may assume, Minhyuk doesn’t walk away from Changkyun out of anger. In fact, he’s feeling a lot of emotions right now and anger is not a single one of them.

He felt a little bit hurt that Changkyun kept this from him for so long; he knows the other’s stance on soulmates and he can recognize why he didn’t say anything immediately, but there had to have been an opportunity to come clean earlier than this, hadn’t there?

And then he remembers the sight of Changkyun with tears streaming down his face. He had felt frustrated to see him clearly beating himself up over keeping it a secret and who would Minhyuk be not to accept such a heartfelt apology?

But most of all, he felt happy.

Perhaps it’s strange to feel happy after learning of the betrayal of someone held dear, of discovering a secret that never should’ve been hidden in the first place. And yet, Minhyuk can’t help but feel happy because Changkyun really is his soulmate.

In hindsight, it was obvious. He didn’t need some magical tattoo to tell him because he’d felt it all along—Changkyun felt right, in a way that no one else ever has or ever could.

Maybe that’s why he doesn’t feel angry. In that sense, nothing has really changed. He had gone into today with the conviction that Changkyun is the one he wants to be with, soulmate or not, and while before, he was convinced he was not, the revelation that, in fact, he actually is doesn’t change the outcome. Changkyun is still the one he wants to be with.

The reason he was so quick to leave Changkyun’s apartment was actually that if he stayed any longer, he wouldn’t have been able to resist the temptation to kiss him again. As much as he wanted to, still wants to, he knows that that wouldn’t have been a good idea. At least for right now.

Changkyun is clearly giving himself a hard time over this and that’s not something he wants to simply brush under the rug. Minhyuk could have reassured Changkyun that he’s not mad and that it doesn’t change anything, but he’s almost certain that he wouldn’t have believed it.

It wasn’t particularly easy for him to leave Changkyun in that state, knowing the other would misunderstand it. And yet, at the same time, it wasn’t particularly hard for him to walk away, knowing he’d soon be coming back.

While he’d love nothing more than to sweep everything under the rug because nothing besides the fact that he loves Changkyun is particularly important to him right now, that’s also precisely why he can’t simply brush things off. That’d be making light of Changkyun’s feelings and he could never do that.

Instead, Minhyuk decides to wait. While he doesn’t see anything as broken, he knows Changkyun won’t accept it if things are so easily fixed.

For Changkyun, he’s willing to be patient.

Except, of course, Minhyuk has never really been patient by nature. He hears the cafe door opening and looks up, expectant, only to find a customer who is pointedly not Changkyun.

He is a professional though, so he masks his disappointment behind the brightest smile he can muster and speeds through making the girl’s order.

“Now, what is it?” Jooheon asks.

“What’s what?”

“You’re not as mopey as you were before,” he says, and Minhyuk rolls his eyes in resentment at being called “mopey.”

“I wasn’t mopey. I was reasonably upset.”

“Okay, sure. There was a very reasonable explanation for your moping.”

“Calling it moping makes it sound so unrefined!”

Jooheon snorts. “And in what world are you considered refined?”

“I am so refined! I even took Changkyun to a fancy Italian restaurant where the waiters do the cool twisty thing when they pour the wine!”

“You don’t even drink.”

“That’s not the point! It was for the atmosphere.”

“Anyway, I take it that your date with Changkyun is the cause of your mood swing from mopey to antsy.”

“I wish you’d switch your word choice, but yeah, I guess you could say that.”

“So, going back to my original question, what is it?”

“Changkyun is my soulmate.”

“Huh?”

“He showed me his tattoo—or like, my tattoo, since it represents me—this is confusing. He hid it initially because of his whole anti-soulmate philosophy, but I think he was feeling really guilty about it, so he told me everything after our date the other day. Anyway, the point is, we’re soulmates.”

Jooheon nods slowly, clearly trying to process this information. “That’s… good?"

“Yes, it’s good! It’s great!!”

“So that explains why you’ve moved on from being mopey, I guess. Now, the question that remains is why have you been staring down every customer who walks in the door.”

“I’m waiting for Changkyun to come.”

“Well, when is he supposed to come?”

“I don’t know. He’ll come when he’s ready.”

“And you can’t just text him to ask when that’ll be so you don’t jump every time the door opens?”

“Of course not. That’d ruin everything,” Minhyuk answers, exasperated.

“Yeah, how silly of me to suggest that,” Jooheon fires back, rolling his eyes. He seems to hesitate for a moment, debating whether or not to say something, but eventually he does. “Not to be like, the Debbie downer or whatever, but how are you so sure he’s coming? If he’s so against soulmates.”

"If I’m being completely honest, I guess I’m not really sure. But even though I’m not sure, I want to believe that he will. I have faith that he’ll come.”

“Because he’s your soulmate?”

“No,” Minhyuk answers easily. “Because I’m in love with him.”

Jooheon’s eyes widen slightly in surprise, then they soften and he smiles. “I hope he comes soon.”

“I have a good feeling about today,” Minhyuk says, eyes twinkling.

And right on cue, the door to the cafe opens once more.

The first time Changkyun had ever walked into the cafe, he’d been nervous, but the feeling from that time couldn’t possibly hold a candle to what he’s feeling right now as he steps through the doors.

His eyes shoot straight to Minhyuk behind the counter, but the gaze is not returned. Changkyun knows that Minhyuk has noticed him and is simply choosing not to acknowledge him; it’s obvious from the way he fiddles with the cups, pretending to straighten them when they’re already perfectly in line.

Changkyun takes a deep breath and approaches the register. “Hi,” he says, not quite sure how else to start.

“Hello, what can I get for you today?” Minhyuk answers in the most customer-service voice Changkyun has ever heard from him. He’s smiling, but it’s uncharacteristically neutral, not giving away anything.

It’s a sight he knows all too well—Minhyuk smiling at him from behind the counter each time he visits the cafe—but the lack of emotion behind it unsettles him. There’s an uncomfortable dissonance between the slight traces of unfamiliarity in what should be a familiar scene.

It’s a little terrifying, if Changkyun’s being honest. He’d much rather Minhyuk be visibly upset at him. The Minhyuk who usually wears his heart on his sleeve has suddenly guarded himself with what feels like ten layers of shields and somehow it cuts deeper than any sword could.

“Can I get an iced americano?” he finally says upon noticing that there are other people starting to line up behind him. “And maybe a chance to explain myself after your shift?”

“Will you be paying with cash or card?” Minhyuk asks with practiced ease, completely ignoring Changkyun’s question. It’s almost impressive how he doesn’t even react, not letting a single feeling slip. Changkyun had always thought Minhyuk was bad at hiding his emotions, but he’s now realizing that he couldn’t have been more wrong; he had been choosing to let Changkyun see and now it's evident that he’s lost that privilege.

He wonders for a moment as he hands his card over if his pathetic attempt to make things right will end anticlimactically just like this.

Minhyuk hands him the receipt and beings prepping his order in silence while Changkyun awkwardly watches him.

It feels as if he’s watching a stranger, even more so than when they first met.

Finally, Minhyuk hands him his drink and Changkyun’s eyes are immediately drawn to the small doodle resembling a deer on the cup sleeve. Relief floods through him. It’s not much more than a tiny scribble, but it’s the first sign of normalcy he’s gotten and he’ll take it.

“My shift ends in like twenty minutes, wait for me” Minhyuk says.

Changkyun is in such a daze that he almost doesn’t hear it. He’s clearly flustered as he finally looks up to meet Minhyuk’s gaze. “What?”

If it was a normal day, a day before Changkyun went and messed everything up, Minhyuk probably would’ve laughed at him for it. Still, he thinks he catches the corner of Minhyuk’s mouth upturn slightly—it’s not quite normal, but it hints at it.

“I’ll see you in twenty,” Minhyuk repeats, proceeding to walk away and turn his attention to the next customer.

Changkyun stands frozen for a second before finally processing Minhyuk’s words. Twenty minutes.

That means Minhyuk is willing to hear him out—he hasn’t decided that he never wants to see Changkyun again.

That also means that he needs to occupy himself for twenty minutes and he’s not quite sure what to do with himself. He settles into one of the open seats by the window and hopes he can get away with people-watching the passerby, but there doesn’t seem to be a lot of foot traffic at the moment.

Instead, his gaze turns to Minhyuk. He doesn’t think he’s being particularly subtle about it, but if Minhyuk notices, he does nothing to acknowledge it—doesn’t even glance in Changkyun’s direction. It stings a little, if he’s being honest.

He supposes now is probably a good time to rehearse what he’s actually going to say because while he’s already thought about it extensively, the right words still don’t seem to be coming to him. Changkyun doesn’t exactly feel ready to do this, but after talking both Hoseok’s and Kihyun’s ears off, his best friends practically forced him to come today. They did everything short of dragging him directly to the door—though he’s sure they would’ve done that too, had he chickened out.

“Minhyukkie is nice. I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Hoseok had told him. And it’s true. Minhyuk is unbelievably nice which makes his current behavior all the more frightening. Changkyun wonders how on Earth he was able to screw things up this badly.

“Stop beating yourself up over it,” Kihyun’s voice echoes in his head. “You can’t change the past, but you can still have a chance at the future.”

Changkyun is grateful for the chance that Minhyuk has given him, even if he’s not fully sure he deserves it. And he has to remind himself that that’s all it is—a chance. Minhyuk has agreed to hear him out, but nothing more than that. It doesn’t mean he’s forgiven yet. He doesn’t know if he ever will be.

Maybe this is just an excuse for Minhyuk to take out his anger on him. Maybe he regrets leaving the other day without first giving Changkyun a piece of his mind. Maybe this isn’t Changkyun’s chance at forgiveness, but rather Minhyuk’s chance at vengeance.

It’s ridiculous, he knows, but his brain is suddenly overflowing with creativity at just how many ways he can interpret Minhyuk’s words and actions.

He’s on interpretation number nineteen—maybe Minhyuk had really just wanted to tell Changkyun to never speak to him again but couldn’t do it in front of any customers so is waiting until his shift ends—when the man in question approaches his table.

“Ready to go?” Minhyuk asks.

Changkyun stares down at his unfinished coffee, barely touched, and chugs the entire thing in one go. He looks back up at Minhyuk, “Yeah I’m ready.”

Minhyuk looks at him with an expression somewhere between shock, judgement, and amusement. “You know, I could’ve just gotten you a to-go cup for that.”

“Oh, right,” Changkyun says, feeling like quite the idiot.

There’s a hint of a smile on Minhyuk’s face, what appears to be the foundations of a laugh held back by a bitten lip. Or Changkyun might just be seeing things.

“Come on, let’s go.”

Changkyun does not know where exactly they’re going, but he follows wordlessly. Minhyuk could be leading him to a dark alley where there’s an angry mob waiting to beat him up and he’d probably still let himself be led there.

Fortunately though, the place Minhyuk takes him is not in fact a dark alley, but rather what he presumes to be his apartment. Then again, maybe that’s not much safer seeing as there’d be no witnesses to whatever is about to transpire here.

“I figured it’d be nice to have some privacy for this conversation,” Minhyuk explains, as he fumbles with his key.

Despite not knowing what this conversation will entail, Changkyun follows obediently. He nearly trips over himself trying to get his shoes off in the entryway and his face flushes with embarrassment.

Minhyuk sits him down on the couch and simply says, “Okay.”

Changkyun’s blinks at him, not quite sure what he’s supposed to respond.

“You said you wanted a chance to explain,” Minhyuk adds upon his silence.

“Right, um, sorry,” he stutters, all the words he’s ever learned suddenly evading him.

Minhyuk watches him expectantly, adding to the pressure. And yet, when Changkyun takes a closer look into Minhyuk’s eyes, he notices that his gaze is gentle and patient. He’s waiting for Changkyun to speak, yes, but he’s not rushing him.

It’s a sign of the Minhyuk he’s come to know instead of the cold stranger who greeted him at the café today and it helps Changkyun relax. Finally, he feels ready.

“I know you already know a lot of this, but I think it makes most sense to start from the beginning. I don’t believe in soulmates and I never have. From the moment I learned about them, I actively rejected the very idea. I hated the thought of someone else—or something else, whatever people wanna call it—making decisions for me.”

Minhyuk nods, not surprised at the information having heard it all before, but not disregarding it either. He listens intently, as if it’s his first time finding out.

“I have always dreaded meeting my soulmate. I may hate the idea, but I’ve always been acutely aware that the rest of the world doesn’t. I knew that if I ever ended up meeting them, I’d only disappoint them and, even if I don’t believe in soulmates, I didn’t want to put anyone through that.” Changkyun looks up to gauge Minhyuk’s expression. “And then I met you. I liked you a lot starting from that day when Hoseok-hyung happened to bring you into the shop. When I went to visit the cafe for the first time, I was already wondering if you’d be open to the idea of dating outside of soulmates—if I’d at least be able to ask you out. But, then it happened. My worst nightmare came to life and I ended up meeting my soulmate.”

“I’m your worst nightmare?” Minhyuk repeats back, slight amusement in his voice. Changkyun thinks it’s a joke, he’s about eighty percent sure it is, but he panics nonetheless.

“No! Of course not! I just—”

“I’m kidding,” Minhyuk says. “Sorry, I couldn’t help it. Please, go on.”

“Right, um, when I realized you were my soulmate, I tried to deny that I liked you. I thought I wouldn’t be able to tell if it was the soulmate thing influencing me or if it was really my decision and my stupid pride got the better of me. I didn’t want to admit that the whole soulmate thing could be right after I’d spent so long going against it. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stay away from you.”

“For the record, I felt the same,” Minhyuk says. “I knew—well thought I knew— that you weren’t my soulmate, but I couldn’t stay away either.”

“When you told me that you didn’t care about your soulmate anymore, I honestly thought about just never telling you. We could be together and your ‘soulmate’ would never show up to mess with that, and I could pretend the whale was just another one of my tattoos that I’d gotten on a whim. But I knew I couldn’t do that to you—I had already been so unfair to you by lying for that long.”

Changkyun pauses, not quite sure how to bring up the next part. He ultimately decides that showing may be better than just telling. He lifts his sleeve to reveal a new tattoo on his forearm. It’s very noticeably still fresh from the slight redness around the edges, but the image is clear nonetheless.

Painted across his skin is a silly little doodle of a cat—the very same one that Minhyuk had drawn on his cup during his first visit to the cafe.

Minhyuk’s eyes widen in realization. “Is that…?”

“Yeah, it’s the one you drew. I could never bring myself to throw away any of the cups—I have them all,” Changkyun admits, slightly embarrassed. “I know it doesn’t magically make up for what I did, but please believe me when I say I’m so sorry for lying to you all this time. I was denying my feelings just to hold on to some stupid pride, but it’s different now. Whether you forgive me or not, this tattoo is for you—it’s because I choose you. I don’t love you because you’re my soulmate, I just do. And I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that. And I understand if this isn’t enough to make you forgive me because I lied to you for so long, but I—”

“I think I’ve heard enough, Changkyun,” Minhyuk interrupts.

Granted, Changkyun knows he’s been rambling and he’s not even sure what more he could say to convince Minhyuk to forgive him, but it hurts nonetheless. He winces at the harshness of the words.

Of course, if he would just open his eyes, he’d see that Minhyuk’s expression is not at all angry, but rather quite the opposite.

His eyes are still squeezed shut when he feel a gentle hand on his cheek as Minhyuk turns his head towards him. Finally, his eyes fly open in surprise at the contact only to find Minhyuk’s face a mere few inches from his.

In the time it takes for him to blink once, Minhyuk leans in and closes the distance between them. It’s nothing more than a soft peck, so short that Changkyun questions if it really happened or if he had only imagined the feeling of soft lips brushing against his, so gentle it easily could’ve been a light gust of wind blowing in from an open window.

“Wait,” he says, wishing for time to stop, just for a moment, so he can catch up with the reality unfolding before him. He’s trying to make sense of it all, but the pieces aren’t adding up in his head.

“I think we’ve waited long enough, don’t you?” Minhyuk asks. It’s the only warning Changkyun gets before Minhyuk leans in to kiss him again, but this time, he’s serious.

It’s not the same as the first, not by any means. Minhyuk is still gentle, but Changkyun can sense the desperation hidden in his movements—as if tasting water for the first time after a drought.

He’s still not sure if this is reality or some kind of strange fever dream, but he feels Minhyuk’s attempts to coax his lips open and, well, who is Changkyun to deny him that?

He follows Minhyuk’s lead, let’s himself be led into the kiss, but soon he too becomes greedy for more. Minhyuk was right, he realizes belatedly. They’ve waited far too long to do this.

Changkyun’s hand finds its way to the back of Minhyuk’s head, fingers tangling in his hair, and pulling him closer, trying to find an angle that will give him better access. He kisses back eagerly, any semblance of hesitation gone, and Minhyuk doesn’t falter in matching his newfound pace.

The more Minhyuk tries to map out every corner of his mouth, the more Changkyun gets lost in the kiss.

He doesn’t know how long it’s been when they finally break apart. There’s a moment of relative silence, the room quiet except for the sound of their breaths.

“So… you’re not mad anymore?” Changkyun asks. It’s a silly question after such a display, he knows, but he needs to make sure nonetheless.

Minhyuk seems to find it funny too, judging by the loud cackle he lets out. “I tend not to kiss the living daylights out of people I’m mad at, so yeah, I’m not mad,” he teases. Then, his expression morphs from teasing into something softer. “I never really was, to be honest.”

“What? But when you left, and today at the cafe, you were so cold.”

“I’d make a good actor, don’t you think?” Minhyuk jokes. “I left because I figured we’d both need some space to think, but I really wasn’t ever angry at you. Maybe I do wish things had happened differently, but I can’t blame you for the decisions you made.” He pauses, looking directly at Changkyun. “And besides, none of that matters because we got here in the end, right?”

A small part of Changkyun wonders how he is supposed to feel about having just been told that all of his emotional turmoil throughout the past few days, or the past few months really, doesn’t matter. The bigger part of him, however, finally feels at ease. “Yeah, we made it. It took a while, but we made it.”

“Speaking of which, I think there’s still a lot of lost time to make up for.”

“Well, we better get back to it then.”

And they do.

Changkyun kisses Minhyuk again and again, not because he’s his soulmate, but because he’s the person he’s chosen to love.

“Changkyun, hold my hand, I’m scared,” Minhyuk pleads.

“Hyung, while I would normally be more than happy to hold your hand for emotional support, I kind of need my hands for something else right now.”

“Yeah, like what?”

Changkyun lets out a sound that lies somewhere between a laugh and a scoff. “I don’t know, what could the tattoo artist possibly need his hands for?”

“Don’t be mean to me while I get my first tattoo!” Minhyuk whines. “Will it hurt?”

“I promise it’s not that bad,” Changkyun reassures, squeezing Minhyuk’s leg lightly for comfort as he prepares the area for transferring the stencil. “Take a look and tell me what you think.”

Minhyuk looks at the whale that’s now drawn across his skin. The style matches that of Changkyun’s own, but this one has an added feature—the small cat riding on the whale’s back.

“It’s perfect,” he says, and he really does mean it. He had always thought it unfair the way that soulmate tattoos are switched. Whales are his thing, so why is Changkyun the one that gets the whale tattoo? Luckily for him though, dating a tattoo artist makes that a relatively easy fix.

“You sure? After this, there’s no going back,” Changkyun warns.

Minhyuk has half a mind to chicken out, to change his mind before the needle can get anywhere near his skin, but he doesn’t. This is something he wants to do and there’s no one he’d rather have do it for him than Changkyun.

Sure, they already have tattoos for each other, gifted to them by some magic in the universe, but this feels different. He wants this tattooed on his skin not because Changkyun is his soulmate, but simply because he loves him and he wants another thing shared between them.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” he answers, trying to control the nervous tremble in his voice.

Of course, he still doesn’t hide it well enough to go unnoticed by Changkyun. He’s not sure if that’s even possible, considering how observant his boyfriend can be.

“You’ll be okay,” Changkyun comforts. “I’ll be here with you the whole time.”

Minhyuk is tempted to make a joke about how, yeah, he’d hope the tattoo artist stays the whole time he’s getting his tattoo, but he holds his tongue. Instead, he braces himself for the pain.

A few hours later, Minhyuk can confidently say that Changkyun is a liar.

“That hurt like a bitch,” he complains. “How could you lie to me like that?”

“I didn’t say it didn’t hurt, I just said it wasn’t that bad.”

“Well, then your pain receptors must be broken because I disagree with your definition of that bad.”

“Oh, come on. Don’t be such a big baby,” Changkyun laughs. “It’s done now and you did great.”

“It’s not done! I can still feel it stinging!”

“Yeah, it does that. It’ll be like that for a bit longer while it heals.”

“Can you at least kiss it better?”

“No, absolutely not. That’d irritate it,” Changkyun says. “Ask me again in 48 hours.”

“That’s such a long time. What am I supposed to do until then?”

“I can think of some other things I can kiss.”

“Oh?” Minhyuk likes where this is going. “Do tell.”

“Gladly.”

It seems Changkyun prefers to show rather than tell and Minhyuk has no qualms with that.