Work Text:
Dear Alaska,
it's been a while. i guess that’s an understatement. i don’t know where to start
oh. the immortals. right
they’re doing okay. they miss you, last i heard at least, a few years ago. you probably miss them too, everything was more lively when they were around, back when we had something we weren’t afraid to cheer for. we didn't get to talk much when i saw them, i was tired, we were running, and we were focused on th
everyone already knows about the black hole. right. sorry. i'll just move on
i've been in baltimore recently, playing again. i'm not very good at it anymore. i don't know what happened, the world isn't the same as it used to be. slower, maybe. i never was good at taking things slowly but i promise i’m trying. at least it keeps everyone's eyes off me. that’s what you wanted
the city's trying to claim me, but it isn’t home, not without you. did i ever tell you about carcinisation? the blue crabs had it too, but it was never this fast, never this bad. it's growing around my stitching and eyes and on my hands and it hurts and itches like hell and there’s no way to make it stop. people have tried but it only ever made it more intense. everyone told me to try and ignore it, because stress and scratching makes it worse. go figure. it always finds a way to be worse for me
i don’t want to tell anyone else this but i think i’m still cursed. i know it sounds dumb when i say it out loud, i know firewalker is gone, but four people died in front of me last season. two on my team. two in one game. that can't be a coincidence, right? i was at bat for the first and i hit a home run after. i know people will think i did it on purpose to be cruel but i’d never seen an incineration before, no one ever remembers that, they always act like i've seen hundreds. i was panicking. i was panicking, i was just panicking, no one ever LISTENS
i'm sorry you had to watch the immortals burn back then. were they even with you? i can't remember anymore. i could barely handle two in one game, let alone an entire team. i hadn't realised how badly it hurt. at least i'd already seen what it was like so i didn't have the same surprise you did.
it’s too hot here. is it still cold for you? i hope i didn't ruin that, i miss it. i hope i showed that enough while i was still around. i did what i could to stop it. i know it wasn’t enough. i'm sorry about what happened. it's been so long since i was with you, i don't know if you'd recognise me. i wish i could visit but playing is so busy, even during siestas the team always wants me somewhere, team dinners, team practice, team building, team meetups, team team team. they're not my real team but they get really excited, i don't want to upset them more. it's all in baltimore, obviously, the team home as far away from you as possible without going underground or underwater. when i’m closer it’s just for other games. there’s no time to travel that far north i hate it i hate it and i miss you. i miss the cold and the snow and the quiet. i wish i could see you again. i wish i wish i wish
what am i doing?
sorry. i'm so sorry.
i miss you. i love you. i'm sorry.
thank you. for everything. i hope i can see you again soon
--- Parker MacMillan your old friend, parker