Work Text:
When a god, a force of nature, crawls out of the almost moss-like ground and kills you several times, that's usually a sign that you need to leave.
But Dan knew better.
He knew there was something he'd missed. And that's why he was strip mining, the thing he was sort of dreading. That's why he was treading darkness that could blink at him, breathing in spores that hurt his lungs, all while dragging Chat kicking and screaming along for the ride.
His jacket's original color barely remained, the royal blue now reduced to an in-between shade. How did he manage to get the XP orbs stuck on there too?, he wondered. They were much stickier, and he didn't know if he could get them off. They looked quite nice, though, with the blue and the yellow. He didn't mind.
His mind wandered back to when he got the 'It Spreads' achievement/ advancement/ whatever they called them these days - the way that after the zombie's XP bled out naturally, its body just... stayed there, sitting on top of the sculk. He swore that, when he glanced back for a split second, there were tendrils reaching into its body. Didn't the sculk get its XP already?
Or was there more?
"The dwarves didn't dig deep enough!" he assured Chat as he found more Minecraft diamonds. He'd have enough deepslate to last several lifetimes once he got out of here! Now was a good time to start brainstorming block palettes.
Even though it felt better than doing it with a pick, it probably wasn't ideal long-term that he was breaking a lot of the sculk with his bare hands. None of his other tools were particularly good against it, what else was he supposed to use?
He picked at an XP orb that had managed to wedge its way between two of his fingers, before going back to digging.
He had been down here for hours, mapping out his circle, which at this point could have been a 4D hypersphere. His vision kept faltering, but he dug on. Chat, his canary, kept telling him he was a madman (they always said that, to be fair), that he wasn't going to find anything. He knew he was right, he had to be! Though, slipping into the Daneshiro voice made him a bit doubtful himself.
After an unsuccessful graphing session, he had realized something. Yes, it wasn't a circle, but also - there was a treasure! He couldn't tell Chat quite yet though; he had a great idea for a reveal.
The whole biome's lights faded in and out hypnotically as he walked out of his tunnel. There was one specific block he had in mind there, though.
It was simple when he asked himself one question: what's even down here?
In the Deep Dark, there were only a couple blocks: the alarms that summoned the Warden, the grass things that set off the alarms, the sculk that sat there and looked pretty, and a final block that... he hadn't really seen do anything. Which meant he hadn't checked it thoroughly enough.
He scanned the corridor for the treasure block's ivory edges, quickly finding one.
As he jogged up to it, Chat started to panic. "DON'T," "oh no not those things," "WHAT ARE YOU DOING DANIEL," and many similar phrases went through one of his ears and out the other as he silently reached for the bone surrounding it. As he began peeling it off, the sharp edges cut into his hands, and he felt the XP bleed out of his cuts and into the block. He sunk his arms further into the cool moss-like substance, which got more liquid the further he went in. This was it. He turned to Chat, and smiled. The reveal was here.
His consciousness beginning to fade, he managed to maintain his dopey smile while saying, "I found the treasure!"
-
[Sounds of rustling, indistinct chatter, and hoofbeats.]
CHAT: Note for those just joining: he's finally lost it.
As you probably guessed, his greed did him in.
CHAT: Took him long enough!
CHAT: Now's not the best time for you to be here, as-
[A whirring noise, almost like a roar, comes from behind them, alongside heavy footsteps. The hoofbeats stop for a second, before picking back up.]
CHAT: -that. As that.
CHAT: JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS THAT?
CHAT: We tried to tell you he'd lost it!
[The heavy footsteps speed up.]
CHAT: WE WERE EXPECTING LIKE, MORE MATH!
CHAT: IT'S HARD TO PHRASE THINGS WHEN THE FUCKING TWINK WARDEN IS AFTER YOUS!
[The hoofbeats slow, and the 'TWINK WARDEN' lets out another roar.]
CHAT: Oh shit-
[The hoofbeats speed up again, the heavy footsteps continuing behind them. CHAT's breathing is quick and overlapping itself.]
CHAT: What are we doing, by the way? Just joined and I'm a bit lost :(
CHAT: Bringing Butter somewhere safe.
[A loud noise like a mechanical inhale comes from behind CHAT and BUTTER. BUTTER stops.]
CHAT: What the fuck was that-
CHAT: DON'T STOP, YOU EEJITS!
[A deafening boom splits the air.]
Butter was obliterated by a sonically-charged shriek
[The footsteps stop.]