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Wolf Head had never had a single good romantic idea in his life.
“Rivals to lovers is a staple, it makes perfect sense,” he insisted.
“In real life?” Wolf Claw was incredulous. “Says who?”
Wolf Head was a member of Tyranny. Wolf Head did not want to talk about his fanfiction search history. If anyone asked, actually, Wolf Head had never even heard of fanfiction. Or tropes. Or anything. The phrase “rivals to lovers” came to him all on its own, an original idea.
He would not be retracting his assertion, though.
“Have you tried not getting into a fight?” Wolf Claw asked their leader, local PvP maniac of 50,000+ battles in the Arena. Happy Sheep was a Cleric and not particularly inclined to PvP, but that only meant Wolf Head found other ways to express conflict between them.
“No?” Wolf Head was baffled. “How else are you supposed to show interest in someone?”
“Circling is normal courting behavior!” Wolf Head had looked this one up.
“In animals!!” Wolf Claw wailed.
“We’re animals? It’s even in our names!”
“Not all animals!”
“Well then which ones?”
Wolf Head learned an important lesson about clicking on related links and what bunnies are a symbol of, generally speaking.
“I invited him to come level with me to improve our relationship and he didn’t even respond,” Wolf Head said, morose.
“Did you make fun of him at the same time?” Wolf Claw was a squishy Cleric in the perpetually dangerous Heavenly Domain and had gone nearby with a few others to work on getting his experience up as soon as he died in the dungeon, thus missing the drama of those still hanging around at the teleportation formation.
“Or else what, be all gross and sincere?”
Wolf Claw was speechless. You could, at the very least, have a sense of timing…
“And then I waited with him for important news on how his dungeon was going anyway,” Wolf Head said with an air of great magnanimity.
“…Because you wanted to make fun of him more?”
“It’s the best part of our interactions,” Wolf Head explained righteously.
“…So you made a joke about his name and got our entire team to taunt him by baaing like sheep?”
“He likes sheep.” Wolf Head refused to acknowledge his mistake. “I made a beautiful and fitting ambiance for him.”
Behind his computer screen Wolf Claw gently lowered his head into his hand.
“It’s not like he doesn’t taunt me back just as much! He started it!”
Wolf Claw did not look up.
(“I’ll wait for you to make me jealous,” Wolf Head had said, deeply not expecting to get hit in the face with an infuriatingly talented Knight and some real jealousy right after.)
Wolf Head, feeling wronged and eager to get rid of it, didn’t think it was excessive to use his Charge skill to rush over and block Happy Sheep from leaving.
“If this situation isn’t cleared up, our Wolf team won’t be able to act arrogant in front of you anymore,” he said seriously. This absolutely could not stand. How else was he supposed to show off how good he was? This was a matter of his future lifetime happiness!
“Who is this person?” the Knight called Unrivaled Super Hottie asked, earning himself a lifetime of enmity. It didn’t matter how good he was, Happy Sheep was not allowed to have such poor taste as to like a guy with a name like that! Weren’t their names much cuter paired together?
“If he really was able to help them clear the 100-player dungeon with just his addition…” Wolf Claw tried to caution. Wolf Head, aware that Unrivaled Super Hottie wasn’t yet Happy Sheep’s person and in the middle of imagining beating his stupid Knight face in at the Arena, was pretty much beyond listening.
Wolf Claw refused to talk about the match after. If Wolf Head wanted to keep trying to analyze Unrivaled Super Hottie’s play, fine, but please leave him out of it. There was really only so much helplessness a healer could stand!
(Wolf Head should probably have attacked Happy Sheep rather than give up entirely and attack Unrivaled Super Hottie perfunctorily like a turret, if only for their team’s morale, but to Wolf Claw’s complete lack of surprise he did not.)
(In seeing Happy Sheep run away from Wolf team’s Launcher Wolf Head suddenly remembered that Clerics were usually trying to do things during PvP too, so Unrivaled Super Hottie must be even more skilled than he estimated.
He didn’t share this belated revelation with Wolf Claw because somewhere deep down he did in fact value his life.)
“I’m a Knight, he’s a Cleric, we’re from the same club, in the same position, valuing the same things. He’s supposed to care about me!” Wolf Head complained after their team left, completely ignoring any irony in this statement.
Wolf Claw, noted Cleric and close working partner of Wolf Head, sighed. “He was so excited to tell you about his success in the dungeon that he died, how about that.”
“That counts?!”
“I don’t know what else you think would count.”
Wolf Claw would give pretty much anything for Wolf Head to actually do something—something realistic—about his crush at this point. Anything.
Actually, he had some savings, maybe if he just made it a bet, planned the timing right…?
(Wolf Head thought it was a ridiculous idea, but he might as well try. “Do you want to get milk tea sometime?” he messaged Happy Sheep.
“Can you be nice for five consecutive minutes?” came the eventual reply.
“…Maybe?” He didn’t want to get too ahead of himself.
“Tch, at least you’re honest. Sure, after work today, let’s go.”)