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Alice POV – 1978
Narcissa and Alice. Alice and Narcissa. A Slytherin and a Gryffindor. A Black and a Fortescue. A pure-blood and a blood traitor. A girl and a girl. It was never going to work out, not really. Alice knew that. Every time she looked at Narcissa she was reminded of that fact. So why did it hurt so much? Why did it feel like her heart was being ripped from her chest?
“I’m sorry Alice,” Narcissa had said sadly. “Nothing lasts forever”.
‘Nothing lasts forever’, what a load of bullshit. Narcissa was her forever. She had been the one, and Alice knew deep down she would never love like that again. Nothing could compare to the stolen kisses behind closed doors, or the late-night walks across the grounds where Alice would rant about quidditch and Narcissa would listen politely, feigning interest because she knew it made Alice smile. Nothing could compare to Sundays spent in empty classrooms where Narcissa would transform a table into a piano and teach her how to play. Nothing could compare the way Narcissa’s hand fit in hers or the way her lips tasted, like mint, every time, and Alice always told her just that.
The worst part was Alice knew there was nothing she could do. Narcissa was engaged for Merlin's sake. It was so fucked up, she wasn’t even out of school yet, it wasn’t fair, they should have had more time. They needed more time.
The last night they spent together was both the best and worst night of her life. Luckily Alices’ dormmates were out. Her and Narcissa clambered into the room, locking the door hastily behind them. They didn’t talk much after that. It was mostly kissing, raw, passionate, and desperate. They kissed as if oxygen was optional, only breaking apart when absolutely necessary. At some point it turned to more than kissing, Alice held the other girl in her hands, Narcissa’s touch was so delicate, soft yet somehow sad. They fell asleep in each other’s embrace, whispering sweet nothings as they wished the rest of the world away. When Alice woke up Narcissa was gone.
She didn’t say goodbye. She hadn’t even left a note. They never spoke properly again after that. Narcissa got married to Lucious Malfoy, they had a son together, Draco, it was a pretty name. Alice got married too, to a man named Frank Longbottom. He had been in Alices year at Hogwarts, he was funny, and kind and Alice loved him. He wasn’t Narcissa though. Alice and Frank had a son together. Neville. He was the light of her life, the best thing that had ever happened to her. Narcissa would have loved him, it was a shame they didn’t see each other anymore.
That was until the fateful night of 1981, after the war was over. Alice never did get to see what that really meant.
<3
Narcissa’s POV - 1981
Narcissa had cried for hours after she heard the news. She had wept in her husband’s arms as he kissed her tearstained face. She didn’t tell him what was wrong of course, she wouldn’t have been able to bring herself to say it even if she wanted to. Alice, tortured to insanity by none other than her own sister. Bellatrix had gotten rid of the only thing she had ever known for certain. That Alice had loved her just as much as Narcissa had loved them. And it wasn’t that Narcissa didn’t love Lucious, she did, she didn’t love him though, not in the same way she had loved Alice. Not in the same way she still loved Alice all these years later.
Her love for Alice was the kind of love that has you dancing in the kitchen in the middle of the night, it was the kind of love full of candle lit confessions and early morning strolls. It was the kind of love that should have lasted forever. But her family had gone and smashed that to pieces; her parents forcing her to marry a man she would never truly love, her sister torturing Alice just because she had been fighting for what was right. Alice didn’t love her back anymore, how could she, she probably didn’t even remember her own name.
Months pass and Narcissa can’t get it out of her mind, her nightmares have come back and now every night she sees Alice, lying twitching on the floor, the sound of Bellatrix’s manic laughter ricocheting off the walls. She can’t take it any longer, she needs to see her, even if it was just for a second.
Narcissa slips out the front door, no one notices, why would they? Her husband probably isn’t even home, Draco’s with the nanny, she’d be back before anyone realises, she was gone.
As she arrived at St mungo’s she felt sick to her stomach, she had never liked hospitals very much. Too many bad memories. Visiting her cousins who had been hexed so badly they couldn’t think straight. Aunt Wallburga always had the perfect cover story for her abuse of course; it didn’t fool Narcissa and her sisters though. After the 10th visit Narcissa started to doubt that it even fooled the healers anymore. She hated them for that, the healers could have helped them but instead they turned a blind eye. The blacks were wealthy purebloods, so apparently that meant society didn’t give a shit what they did to their children.
She took a deep breath and walked up to the front desk. She asked the receptionists what floor Alice Longbottom was on. After what felt like forever, she arrived at the rooms door. Narcissa took a deep breath and entered the room. She didn’t see them immediately, her eyes scanned the room warily, there wasn’t many people only a couple of beds were occupied, less than she had expected. Then she spotted a somewhat familiar figure from across the room. It wasn’t Alice or frank, it was Augusta Longbottom, franks mother. She would recognise that face anywhere. She had been in the papers, eyes tired and full of grief, she had talked about how lucky she was to have raised such an amazing son and for him to marry such an amazing wife. Narcissa remembers reading that article and crying. There was nothing more heart wrenching than a mothers grief.
It had completely slipped her mind that Mrs Longbottom might be here. Part of her wanted to turn around and go, how could anyone bare to look at the sister of someone who had condoned their son to such fate. But Narcissa couldn’t just leave. So, for once in her life she followed her heart instead of her head and walked forward.
When Augusta caught sight of Narcissa her eyes went cold. “Mrs Malfoy, what are you doing here,” She spoke sharply yet not unkindly. Still, a shiver went down her spine.
Narcissa smiled weakly up at the women, “Just Narcissa is fine, if you don’t mind” she began politely. “I’m here to see Alice, if that’s all right with you of course, I hope I’m not crossing any boundaries,” The words just seemed to tumble out of her mouth which was unusual for her. Narcissa was usually pretty good at keeping her composure.
Mrs Longbottom’s gaze seemed to soften as she said almost wearily, “Of course not dear, I didn’t know you knew Alice?”
Narcissa let out a sigh of relief, she appreciated how nice Augusta was being, she had every right to demand that she leave and yet she let her stay anyway. “We were close in school,” she replied, “We never really spoke much after that, I wish we had done so, I miss her,” Narcissa voice trailed off. She missed Alice long before this had happened, long before the war, long before they had even broken apart. Sometimes it felt as if she missed Alice before she had even known her at all.
Mrs Longbottom retreated behind the curtain of the bed and spoke to Alice in a hushed toned, “Someone is here to see you dear, isn’t that nice, it’s one of your friends from school,” there was no response. Alice had always been a talkative person, hearing her silent felt so incredibly wrong.
Narcissa walked around the curtain and caught sight of Alice lying there, propped up against some pillows. She looked lifeless, her eyes were slightly glazed over, and her face was pale, skinned stretched white across her bones. Narcissa felt a sudden rush of hatred for her sister, she wanted to scream and cry and tear the world apart. She wanted to make her pay for what she had done. This was far worse than killing her. Instead of taking Alices life, Bellatrix had taken her livelihood.
“Hello Alice,” Narcisa whispered softly, she didn’t reply, not that Narcissa expected her to, long gone were the days where Narcissa’s gentle hellos would be met by tender kisses and affectionate terms of endearment. ‘Flower’, that’s what Alice used to call her. Narcissa was named after the Narcissus flower after all, it was a daffodil like plant, she always had found it funny how she was named after a plant so happy and bright when she was quite the contrary. If anything, Alice had been the bright one. Sunshine incarnate, that’s what she had been. Even now in her lethargic state she still seemed to outshine all the stars in the sky.
“I’ve missed you darling,” Narcissa spoke quietly, not able to bring herself to worry if Mrs Longbottom had heard her or not, not when Alice was right at her fingertips for the first time in years. Narcissa hesitated before reaching out and taking one of Alice’s hands in hers, “I’m sorry love, I’m so sorry,” she whispered weakly, a single tear rolling down her pale cheek. She shakily brought Alice’s hand to her lips, pressing a fleeting, tender kiss to it. Alice’s hand was still limp in her grasp but in that moment their eyes met, and Narcissa could have sworn she a ghost of a smile on Alices face, it was probably just in her head, but Narcisa would like to think that somewhere, in a fragmented part of Alice’s memory, she remembered her.
Alice moved her arm away, and it startled her slightly. In the shock of seeing Alice again, Narcissa has forgotten that she hadn’t been rendered completely immobile. Alice’s physical health was said to improve slightly over time, she would never recover fully, not even close, but given a few months or years she may be able to walk again. Despite this it was unlikely her mind would ever heal, the mental scars from the intensity of her torture went too deep that even the extents of magic couldn’t help her now.
So long gone was the playful twinkle in her eye, long gone was her competitive nature and her boyish laughter, long gone was her kindness and the comfort Narcissa sort in her arms. She still craved that comfort even now. She wished more than anything to be held again, she wanted to be curled in Alices lap by the firelight of the common room as she stroked soothing patterns in her hair in the quiet of the night; the only time they felt safe enough to be that close in public. How depressingly Ironic that the only person who would of truly new what to say to Narcissa right now would probably never speak again.
She watched as Alice moved her arm towards the small table next to her bed, there wasn’t much on it apart from a box of tissues and some discarded sweet wrappers, Alices hand reached to grab one of these wrappers, enclosing it in her fist and pressing it gently into Narcissa’s palm. Then she looked at Narcissa, and there was something behind her glassy eyes that wasn’t there before. Not quite the twinkle that they had possessed in their youth but there was something. A glimmer of hope, Narcissa thought.
Narcissa glanced down at the wrapper in her hand. Her breath caught in her throat. Mint. The sweet had been mint flavoured. It didn’t mean anything, Narcissa told herself, even though her heart was beating so fast it threatened to burst from her chest. It was a mere coincidence. She ignored the distance echo of a teenaged Alice in her mind. You taste like mint darling, you always do. It’s like you’ve constantly just brushed your teeth, I don’t know how you do it! The wrapper meant nothing, Alice wouldn’t have remembered that she couldn’t even remember how to speak for fucks sake, it-
A voice stopped her thoughts from spiralling any further. It was Mrs Longbottom, she must have noticed Narcissa staring at the wrapper transfixed as she kindly said, “Would you like me to put that in the bin dear?”
“No,” Narcissa said quickly before realising how rude that may have sounded, “I- No thank you Augusta”. She expected her to ask why she wanted to keep it; it was just a piece of litter after all, but she just nodded warmly.
“If you’re sure,” She said with an understanding smile. “Alice must have really liked you, the only person she’s tried giving that rubbish to was Neville, obviously I had to take it away from him, the little rascal would have choked on it or something”.
Mrs Longbottom would never know how much those words meant to her. The tears welling up in her eyes couldn’t come near to conveying the sheer emotion she felt in that moment. Alice still cared. even like this she still cared. Yet somehow this hurt more. The fact that no matter how much she wanted it, it just wasn’t meant to be.
She pocketed the wrapper and kissed Alice gently on the forehead, getting up and bidding Augusta a polite goodbye before walking out the hospital room door.
As she finally let the tears roll down her face Narcissa whispered to herself, “we’ll find our forever in the next life love, I promise”.