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As Jared spoke with the PA and pushed the door open, he turned his head to see the orderly crew members and a familiar face among them working, showing his usual smile.
Jensen looked over at the sound, locking eyes with Jared, his usually furrowed brows instantly smoothing out, returning a gentle smile to Jared. After seventeen years, they were so familiar with each other that each other's presence was like a calming agent, making them feel safe and relaxed.
While greeting the crew members one by one, Jared walked over to Jensen, who was sitting in the director's chair, and gave Jensen's shoulder a firm pat before resting his hand there. Jensen patted Jared's hand in response. Their movements were quick and natural, not interfering with Jared's conversation with the crew gathered around Jensen.
"How's Ackles been directing these past days, did he give you a hard time while I wasn't here?"
The crew joked amicably, "He's much more reliable than you." "How was the bachelor party dude?"
"Fantastic." Jared winked, then shared a look with Jensen, "By the way, though everyone already know you, let me do the honors proper. Ladies and gentlemen, my friend of seventeen years, the leading star of Supernatural, the most understanding man and a director with unparalleled talent, Mr. Jensen Ackles!"
The crowd cheered and whistled, while Jensen, with a smile, shook his head and gestured for them to settle down with his hand, "Alright alright."
"Alright alright, that’s too much." Jared immediately responded with a laugh, "Let's proceed pals."
The group resumed discussing the work at hand, with Jensen solving problems and assigning tasks, while Jared listened and occasionally talked with the crew members coming over to coordinate. Soon, the crowd dispersed to continue setting up the scene.
After Jared finished chatting with another crew member, Jensen teased, "You seem well-rested these past few days."
"Too bad that's going to change in the coming days. I can only pray you'll go easy on me," Jared replied cheerfully.
"Wishful thinking. You'd better perform well in this episode I'm directing. Otherwise, rumors will start flying, and the media will say, 'Jared's performance was so bad this episode, is it because Jensen wasn't paying attention? Are they not clicking like before? Is their friendship cracking?'"
Jared chuckled dryly, "Come on, it's not like good acting from me would stop those stories... How are you finding directing here? They're all good people right? You get along well?"
"Pretty well. They all knew me in advance, seems like you've talked about me plenty."
"Yep, I've been badmouthing you every day. Told them you're a grumpy old cat and to bear with it since you're only directing this one episode, just a few days."
Jensen rolled his eyes, "Stop complaining. You said you couldn't show up when I was preparing for The Winchesters. Now that my future schedule is conflicting, you’re on about it every day..."
He paused, adjusting his earpiece and listening intently for a moment, then steadied his posture, "Enough chit-chat. Go get in position. Robbie says we can start shooting."
Jared looked towards the set, saw the AD signaling him, so he waved back. Then, he looked down at Jensen, extended his fist, and slightly moving his eyebrow, "Wishing us a smooth shoot."
Jensen, holding his earpiece, extended his fist with the other hand to meet Jared's.
"Smooth shoot."
......
Jared walked over and snatched the script Jensen was scrutinizing, "It's lunchtime, man. Stop reading."
A chair had been placed next to the director's chair at some point, clearly having been sat in before, with the armrests of the two chairs pressed closely together. Jared naturally took a seat, nudging Jensen's knee with his own, "Happy 44th birthday, Mr. Ackles."
Jensen turned his body slightly, "Aren't you going to eat?"
"Waiting for everyone to gather for a certain birthday boy's celebration." Jared shrugged with a smile, "Who would've thought we'd be celebrating our birthdays on set again... Do you remember our first on-set birthday back in 2005?"
"Of course. We got you a huge cake. And I smashed it right into your face."
"Haha right, while I was making a wish. Then we both started smearing cream all over each other."
"Ended up you didn’t brought a change of clothes. You were almost frozen."
"I remember," Jared tapped Jensen's forearm under his hand a few times, "because the hot water on set was almost out that day, I ended up taking a cold shower. It was seriously freezing. Luckily your trailer was just besides."
Jensen chewed on his gum, "Good thing it was July, and we were only in our twenties. Our old bones wouldn't be able to take it now."
"So far, it's only you who couldn't take it, Mr. Forty-Four."
Jensen elbowed him.
"But really, now we have to stretch even before doing our jumps at conventions." Jared shifted, then leaned back in. His gaze wandered a bit into the distance, "Honestly, time flies too fast... Every time I realize how we've truly spent half our lives together, it always zones me out."
"...Same."
They fell silent suddenly. After a while, they turned their heads towards each other, locking eyes in an understanding glance, and gave each other a faint smile again.
Jared said, "Let's go. We should head over for the cake."
...
They walked to the catering truck. The crew had already gathered there. Everyone crowded around, wishing Jensen a happy birthday in waves, old and new faces alike singing the birthday song. With clear skies and a pristine azure above, Jared looked around and spoke, "Everyone, I just want to say, we've built this family together... this Walker family. Regardless of its value, I hope you all realize, when I talked to CW about making a show about a tall, straight, white man, they would have laughed if it hadn't been for Supernatural."
The crowd laughed, and Jared continued, "So here we are, not just because of Supernatural, but because Jensen and I did it together. This is success and foundation we built together. If it weren't for all the heart, sweat, and tears Jensen and I put into Supernatural over 15 and a half years, Walker would never have existed. To some extent, we all owe this job, this family, and this story we love to Jensen."
As he finished, applause thundered. Jared turned to look at Jensen, their eyes meeting again amidst the crowd. In the gaps between claps, Jensen said a few words to the crew, their cheers brimming with enthusiasm. Jared watched him applauding intently, his gaze earnest and warm. Then Jared nudged Jensen to make a wish. Just as Jensen was about to lean in, he caught onto Jared's scheme. With an exasperated glance at Jared, he shook his head, closed his eyes, and, with the crew’s laughter and the gaze of the one who around, plunged into the cake as if resigned to his fate.
......
The next morning, when Jensen and Jared walked onto the set together, Jensen instantly spotted the changed name on the director's chair. He sighed and spread his hands towards Jared, "Really?"
Jared lifted an eyebrow, all smug, "Great right? Your first surprise of the day, every day."
"This is getting more and more ridiculous."
"But isn't it creative?"
"..."
"Right, undeniably creative?"
"The idea was absurd from the start."
"Come on. You've gotta admit you kind of like it."
"Like hell I do."
"You do anyway."
"...I bet it's gonna be Tom Hannigan tomorrow."
"Oh... You'll never guess."
Jared blinked and headed off towards the catering truck, casually patting Jensen on the back. Jensen, bending over to talk to a PA, called out, "Don't forget the coffee."
"The AD will get it for you."
"Not enough!"
Jared was already far off, leaving Jensen to only catch a faint "coffee addict" in response. Jensen muttered under his breath, recalling the time Jared downed seven cups one morning, resulting in a panic attack that required Jensen to warm up the crowd for that afternoon's solo panel. Despite Jensen's stern insistence for Jared to rest, his stubbornness prevailed... Thankfully, now he settled in Austin these days with family and friends close by... Jensen closed his eyes, reeling in his wandering thoughts, focusing back on the coordination at hand.
...
"..." Jensen gave Jared an even more bewildered "what the hell" look than yesterday.
Jared, eyes shifting upwards, pretended to dodge, "Told you, it'll be different every day."
"...But red hood? Seriously?" Jensen, struggling to hold back words, finally took out his phone, angled for a shot of the chair, then started frowning and fiddling with his screen.
Jared peeked over, their fluffy heads touching.
"You type ‘day5’ so small, who can even see it?" Jared commented while trying to drag Jensen's tiny text to the center, but Jensen pushed his hand back.
"Hey hey I got this." Jensen said sternly in a low voice as he continued tinkering with the screen.
Jared watched for a while, making comments from time to time with his fingers pointing in the air, "It’d be better to move it to the center, make it obvious so fans can spot it without squinting... Yeah yeah and zoom in with two fingers..."
"This big?"
"Exactly!"
"Isn't it too big?"
"Nope, not at all. The ones you had before were too small. It's supposed to be this big, like a normal sticker."
"Alright, there." Jensen finished adjusting the size, turning the font red, "Red Hood, let's go red."
"Wait," Jared finally tapped Jensen's phone, changing the background to pink, "This matches better."
Jensen looked disdainfully but left it. He added another sticker and started to type. As he typed, both of them began to giggle.
After a whole bunch of back-and-forth, Jensen held the phone out for Jared to see, "How's that?" He could feel Jared's fluffy nodding, and the peripheral vision buzzed with a brown fuzz. So Jensen goes "Posting it," and hit the ‘add your story’ button.
Watching their newly post, they looked at each other and giggled again. After a moment, Jared pulled out his phone, "I'll give you a like."
They scrolled through comments on their phones for a bit, sitting back down to chat. The PA arrived soon after, and Jared headed to makeup, their parting slap as casual as ever. Jared said, "We’re just like three years ago."
Jensen paused, then replied as if it was the most natural thing, "We will always be."
They shared the same feeling—it really had been a long time, these three years.
......
The set was bustling with activity on this night. Dark purple spotlight beams swept across the dim concert hall, with the band passionately playing, visible sweat splashing from the drummer with every beat. In the crowded audience, everyone was radiating happiness. They waved their arms and sang along, almost in chorus, to the well-known song.
In a corner on the left side of the stage, Jensen and Jared stood together, their all-black attire making them even harder to distinguish in the dim light, occasionally illuminated by passing purple lights that cast ambiguous shadows on their figures. They leaned casually against the wall, looking up at the stage, occasionally turning to share a word and cheer with each other.
During one such glance, Jensen noticed the camera first. He made a rock-n-roll gesture at the lens, and Jared followed suit. Accustomed to the omnipresence of cameras, Jensen quickly turned his attention back to Jared. In the midst of the noisy environment, they looked at each other, exchanging words only they could hear, and then continued to look up, appreciating the long-awaited Kansas private concert, loaded with so much meaning.
Perhaps there were moments when one steal glanced at another while intently watching the stage, swallowing unconsciously. Perhaps they just stood quietly together as usual, understanding each other without words or moves. They had played too many roles in each other's lives: distillery and bar owners, co-founders of a charity, roommates, together playing the guitar, dancing, wrestling and drinking, lead singers and audience, best men, uncles to each other's children, not to mention having been leading co-stars together for fifteen years. Even after ending their fifteen-year partnership, their careers flourished independently, taking various twidts and turns, Yet they still catch a glimpse of each other in their life plans. They visited each other on set, attended each other's crew parties, and tonight, in one of their numerous collaborations, they were Director Jensen, and Producer Jared.
——————
Jared一边和PA讲话，一边推门而入，他转头看向有条不紊的剧组工作人员们和工作中的某张熟悉的脸，露出了他一如既往的笑容。
Jensen循声望来，与Jared四目相对，常年皱着的眉头立刻舒展了开，回给Jared了一个柔和的微笑。十七年了，他们已经对彼此太过熟悉，以至于对方的出现就相当于一剂镇定剂，让他们感到安全与放松。
Jared一边挨个向工作人员打招呼，一边走到坐在导演椅上的Jensen旁边，Jared用力拍了两下Jensen的肩，随后便将手搭在了上面，Jensen则拍了拍Jared的手作为回应。两个人的动作迅速而自然，丝毫没有影响到Jared和聚在Jensen身边的剧组成员搭话。
“Ackles这两天导得怎么样，有没有因为我不在就给你们穿小鞋？”
大家友善地打趣：“人家工作可比你认真多了。”“单身派对怎么样啊兄弟？”
“非常棒。”Jared挤了下眼睛，而后与Jensen对视了下，“虽然大家已经认识了，但我还是亲自介绍一下，我认识了十七年，Supernatural的领衔主演，最善解人意的朋友和才华盖世的导演，Mr.Jensen Ackles!”
周围的人起哄鼓掌，夹杂着几声口哨，Jensen垂着眼睛含笑摇了摇头，用手压了压：“好了好了。”
Jared立刻笑着接道：“好了好了，也不用那么欢迎。你们继续。”
于是众人接着讨论刚刚的工作内容，Jensen解决问题分配任务，Jared则在旁边听，时不时和过来协调的工作人员交谈几句。很快，人们散开继续布置起片场。等到Jared和又一位工作人员问候闲谈完，Jensen稍带揶揄地开口：“看你状态，这几天休息得挺好。”
“可惜接下来的几天就不会了。只能祈祷你骂我骂得轻点。”Jared乐呵呵回道。
“想得美。你可得在我导的这一集里好好演。要不然到时候谣言四起，媒体们又会开始，‘Jared这集演得这么烂，是不是Jensen没上心？再度合作配合不佳？他们俩友谊果然有裂痕啦？’”
Jared哈哈干笑两声：“得了吧，这些东西又不是我演好了就没有了……你在这里当导演当的怎么样，融入剧组了没有？我们剧组的人都很好，你们相处得还可以吧？”
“挺好的。他们都提前认识我了，看来你平时就没少提我。”
“对，天天和他们说你坏话。我在你来的前几天跟他们说你是个臭脾气老猫，让他们都忍着点儿，反正你就导这一集，就那么几天。”
Jensen翻了个白眼：“别抱怨了。我准备The Winchesters的时候你说你一集都来不了，轮到我未来行程冲突了你就开始成天说……”话到一半，他调整了下耳机，仔细听了一会儿，沉稳了坐姿，“不闲扯了。你去就位吧，Robbie说我们可以开拍了。”
Jared向片场望了望，发现AD在向他招手，他便挥手回应。随后，他低头看着Jensen，向他伸出了拳头，微微动了下眉：“祝我们拍摄顺利。”
Jensen扶着耳机，用另一只手伸拳和他对碰：“拍摄顺利。”
……………………
Jared走过来，一把抓走了Jensen凝神细看的剧本：“都午休了，别看了。”
导演椅旁不知何时放了另一把椅子，显然已经被坐过了，两把椅子的扶手紧靠在一起。Jared自然而然地坐了上去，他用自己的膝盖碰了碰Jensen的：“44岁生日快乐，Mr.Ackles。”
Jensen侧过身子：“都午休了，你还不去吃饭？”
Jared耸肩笑道：“等着人齐了来给某位寿星庆生啊。谁能想到我们又一起在片场过生日了……还记得2005年我们第一次在片场过的生日吗？”
“当然。我们买了个大蛋糕给你。然后我把它拍你脸上了。”
“哈哈对，在我许愿的时候。然后我们两个开始疯狂往对方身上抹奶油。”
“结果那天你没带换洗衣物。把你冻够呛。”
“我记得，”Jared指尖敲了几下他手掌下Jensen的小臂，“因为那天片场的热水快用光了，我洗的冷水澡。结果真的巨冷。幸好你拖车就在旁边。”
Jensen笑着嚼了两下口香糖：“幸好当时是七月，而且我们只有二十几岁。要是现在凭我们这两副老骨头肯定受不了了。”
“目前来说只有你受不了，Mr.四十四。”
Jensen给了他一肘子。
“不过确实，现在我们连见面会开场跳都要提前拉伸了。”Jared身子歪了一下，随即又贴了回去。他望向前方的目光晃了晃，“说真的，时光过得也太快了些……一想到我们真的一起走了半辈子，我总会忽然恍一下神。”
“……是啊。”二人忽然静默了。过了一会儿，他们互相侧过脑袋，默契地对视片刻，重新为彼此染上淡淡的笑意。
Jared道：“走吧。蛋糕我们得过去吃。”
……
他们走到餐车旁。剧组成员早就围在了那里。大家欢快地簇拥上前，此起彼伏地祝Jensen生日快乐，新老面孔一同唱着生日快乐歌。万里无云，碧空如洗，Jared环视四周，开口道：“各位，我只是想告诉大家，我们一起组建了这个家庭……这个Walker家庭，无论它的价值如何，我希望你们都能意识到，当我与CW谈论制作一部关于高大的顺直白男节目时，如果不是因为我们拍过Supernatural，他们肯定会笑。”
四周的人也都笑了，Jared接道：“所以，我们现在都在这里，不仅仅是因为我做了Supernatural，而是因为我和Jensen一起做了。我们能在这里在为Walker工作，他负有50%的责任。这是他和我共同建立的成功和基础。如果没有Jensen和我在15年半的时间里为Supernatural投入的所有心血、汗水和泪水，那么Walker也永远不会出现。我们所有人都应该在某种程度上将这份工作，这个家庭以及我们热爱的这个故事归功于Jensen。”
话音落，掌声如雷。Jared侧头看向Jensen，二人目光对撞，他们又一次在人群中相互注视。掌声间隙，Jensen为工作人员说了两句，众人的喝彩热情洋溢，Jared也专注地为他鼓掌，目光真诚而热烈。随后Jared让Jensen许愿，Jensen正要低头，忽然察觉到了Jared的意图。他无语地瞥了Jared一眼，又笑着摇了摇头，闭上了眼睛，在众人的笑声与身旁之人的注视下，认命似地一头撞进蛋糕里。
……………………
Jensen和Jared隔天一早一同走到片场时，Jensen一眼就看到了导演椅上又变了的名字，他叹了口气，摊手望向Jared：“拜托？”
Jared得意地挑了挑眉：“怎么样？每天都会给你的第一个惊喜。”
“……这变得越来越离谱了。”
“可是多有创意？”
“……”
“对吧，不可否认的有创意？”
“你这个主意从最开始就很荒谬。”
“拜托。你得承认你确实有点喜欢它。”
“鬼才会喜欢它。”
“反正你喜欢。”
“……我猜它明天会变成Tom Hannigan。”
“喔……你不会猜到的。”
Jared眨眨眼睛便抬脚向餐车走去，走时随手拍了拍Jensen的背。Jensen一边低头与PA对接，一边提声道：“别忘了咖啡。”
“AD会给你的。”
“不够喝！”
Jared已经走得很远了，Jensen只能听到模糊的一声“咖啡狂魔”。他腹诽，是谁某次一早上连喝七杯后惊恐发作，导致当天下午的单人panel还要他帮着暖场。明明他很严厉地要Jared去休息了，却还是拗不过这家伙的倔劲儿……也幸亏现在他这两年安顿在奥斯汀了，家人朋友都在身边……Jensen闭了下眼，收回了逐渐发散的思绪，让自己的注意力回到正在进行的对接中去。
……
“……”Jensen用一副比昨天更whatthehell的表情看向Jared。
Jared眼神向上，假装躲闪：“我说了它会天天不重样。”
“……但是red hood？认真的？”Jensen欲言又止地憋了半天，最终掏出手机对着椅子找了找角度按下快门，然后开始皱眉用手指拨弄起屏幕。
Jared从后面探脑袋凑了过去，两人毛绒绒的头发贴在一起。
“你这个day5打这么小谁能看见啊。”Jared边说边伸手试图把Jensen打的那一行小字划拉到中间，但被Jensen扒拉了回去。
“heyhey我自己能行。”Jensen很严肃地低声喝道，继续在屏幕上捣捣鼓鼓。
Jared接着看了一会儿，时不时出声评价几句，手指悬空地指指点点：“你把它挪到中间来，醒目，粉丝一眼就能看到字，不用费劲巴拉找……对对然后双指放大……”
“这么大？”
“没错！”
“会不会有点太大了。”
“不会，完全不会，你之前那些都太小了，正常贴纸都要这么大。”
“行了吧。”Jensen调整完，把字体颜色调成了红色，“red Hood，我们红一点。”
“等等，”Jared终于点到了Jensen的手机，他把背景色改成了粉的，“这样更协调。”
Jensen嫌弃地看了看，终究是没改，他又加了个贴纸开始打字，打着打着两个人就都开始笑。
又是一番七嘴八舌七手八脚的操作后，Jensen将手机拿远给Jared看了看：“怎么样？”他的半个脑袋都能感觉到Jared在毛茸茸地点头，视线边缘也晃动着棕乎乎的一片。于是Jensen说了句“我发了”，便点了发布。
看着刚发布的快拍一眼，两个人就扭过头看着对方笑，笑了一会儿Jared也从裤兜往外掏手机：“我给你点赞。”
他们俩各自拿着手机看了会儿评论，就坐在椅子上继续聊天。PA很快就到场了，Jared也要去化妆车里捣腾妆发，他们分开前像往常一样随意地拍了拍对方，Jared说：“我们就像三年前。”
Jensen滞了一瞬，随后普通地接道：“一直会的。”
他们有着同一种感觉——真的有点长了，这三年。
……………………
这个夜晚的片场热闹至极。暗紫色的聚光灯束在昏暗的演唱会大厅中扫来扫去，乐队激情四射地演奏着，可以看到鼓手身上的汗水随着每一次击鼓而飞溅。人头攒动的观众席上，每个人都洋溢着快乐。他们挥舞手臂，高声地，几乎是合唱地跟随主唱唱着那首耳熟能详的歌曲。
舞台下方左侧的角落，Jensen和Jared站在一起，纯黑色的装束在昏暗中显得更加难以辨别，偶尔扫到的紫光映得二人身形暧昧不清。他们放松地侧靠在墙上，仰头望着舞台。时不时侧头和彼此说笑几句。
在又一次偏头的间隙，Jensen首先注意到了摄像机，他对着镜头摆了个摇滚手势，Jared也跟着用相同的手势在身前摇了摇。他们早已习惯无处不在的摄像机，Jensen很快就不在意地看回Jared。他们在嘈杂环境中目光相视，交谈着只有彼此能听见的话语，而后继续抬起头，欣赏这场推迟了好久的，承载了太多意义的Kansas私人演唱会。
也许他们某一刻会在对方专注望向台上的时候隐秘地看向对方，喉结滚动。也许他们只是像往常一样静静地站在一起，甚至不用对视，彼此心照不宣。他们承担了彼此人生中的太多角色：酒厂和酒吧老板，慈善基金联合创始人，一起同居，弹吉他，跳舞，摔跤，喝酒，主唱和观众，伴郎，彼此孩子的叔叔，更别说那一同当了十五年的领衔主演。就算结束了十五年的搭档关系，他们的职业生涯各自蓬勃，道路兜兜转转，却仍能在彼此的人生规划中瞥见对方的一席之地。他们互相探班串场，出席对方剧组的派对，而在今夜，在无数次合作中的一角，他们是珍导和贾制片。