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“Girls,” Setsuna Tokage said, swinging over the back of the couch that sat in the common area of the 1-A dorms with a massive grin. “I have discovered something incredible.”
“Hm?” Tooru Hagakure perked up. “What’s up?”
Mina Ashido leaned forwards, all anticipatory. “Ooh? Spill the tea?”
“Better than tea,” Tokage grinned, puffing her chest out proudly. “Did you know… that Shoto Todoroki has a conspiracy board?”
Hagakure and Ashido immediately deflate, collapsing back into their seats.
“Was that all?” Hagakure complained. “I thought it was something important. Everyone knows about the conspiracy board.”
“Well, did you know that Todoroki thinks Midoriya is All Might’s secret love child?”
Ashido waved her hand lazily. “Keep going! Get to the good stuff!”
“Did you know,” Tokage said, gesturing for the other two girls to lean in close. “That Todoroki is getting his wisdom teeth out next week?”
With a smirk, Ashido nodded, considering. “Next week?”
“The week we all have off from school?” Hagakure asked.
Tokage grinned. “Exactly.”
Shoto Todoroki got out of bed with a grunt, first reaching to his nightstand to grab his empty water glass before padding to the door of his room. Losing his wisdom teeth was unfortunate, but at least the painkillers helped clear his mind.
That’s what his dead brother Touya Todoroki, aka the very alive Dabi, whispered to him, anyways.
With a yawn, Shoto opened the door to his dorm room, only to come face to face with a very irate Pony Tsunotori.
“ Ah, Todoroki!” she said. “Have you seen Tokage?”
Shoto took in Tsunotori’s appearance. She had bags under her eyes and a very threatening musket with a very pointy bayonet attached to it.
“I need to teach her about the Second Amendment ,” Tsunotori explained. “And I have chased her through two dorms and across several very beautiful fields across our wonderful campus at this bright and early hour.”
Shoto absentmindedly nodded as his eyes traveled to the top of her head- he paused. Someone had gone through and styled Tsuntori’s bangs to resemble a very familiar crest.
Or maybe her hair naturally was like that.
Shoto stopped. “Smile,” he said.
Tsunotori tilted her head. “ What ?”
She was American, too. And blond…
Shoto nodded his head vigorously. “Like All Might.”
Tsunotori grinned widely.
Shoto dropped his glass and it shattered on the floor. “I HAVE WORK TO DO!” he shouted, spinning around and slamming the door to his room shut.
“IT’S SIX FUCKING AM, STOP YELLING!” Rikido Sato shouted back.
“THE TRUTH WAITS FOR NO MAN!”
Shoto Todoroki stared at Eijiro Kirishima.
“Something up, man?” Kirishima asked, shaking a bottle of red hair dye vigorously. “Your pain meds doing alright? It’s your second day of them, yeah?”
“Hair dye,” Shoto said eloquently.
“Yeah!” Kirishima grinned toothily. “You want to try some?”
“You dye your hair,” Shoto said.
“Yep!”
Shoto sat down on a locker room bench heavily, mind racing. Hair dye- hair dye- there was some connection. That and red. Red hair, red-
His eyes darted across the room to a poster of All Might flexing.
“You like that picture?” Kirishima asked. “Someone put it up the other day. None of us can figure out where it came from, but-”
Shoto gasped, the universe opening up.
Two close combat brawlers, both with blond hair (after all, nobody knew what Kirishima’s real hair color was), both super muscular, and both super cheerful-
This could only mean one thing.
“I HAVE WORK TO DO!” Shoto shouted, sprinting out of the bathrooms.
“STOP YELLING IT’S SEVEN AM!” Rikido Sato shouted from inside the showers.
“THE TRUTH WAITS FOR NO MAN!” Shoto shouted back before continuing his dash.
Shoto Todoroki stared at Yui Kodai, both sitting in chairs next to each other, practically nose-to-nose in the 1-B kitchens.
Yui Kodai stared back.
“Mm,” she said.
Shoto blinked twice.
Yui Kodai blinked once.
Shoto slapped his head.
Of course! All Might could grow in size- just like [Size]! Exactly the kind of quirk a child would get from their father!
Tokage and Hagakure were geniuses! Probably!
Shoto bolted from the room. “I HAVE WORK TO DO!” he shouted, slamming the front door of the dorms behind him.
“STOP YELLING, IT’S 4 AM!” Rikido Sato shouted from the kitchens.
“WHY ARE ANY OF YOU EVEN IN HERE?!” Itsuka Kendo yelled back.
“Midnight baking,” Sato said.
Shoto re-opened the doors to the 1-B dorms.
“THE TRUTH WAITS FOR NO MAN!” he shouted.
Shoto grabbed at Snipe’s mask.
Snipe gently pushed his hand away. This was not how he expected his first nighttime patrol outside of 1-A’s dorms to go.
“What are you doing?” Snipe asked.
“Gathering evidence,” Shoto explained.
“What-”
“My dead brother Touya Todoroki, aka Dabi, told me to,” Shoto said. “Also Tokage and Hagakure.”
“And you’re trying to prove…?” Snipe asked.
Shoto nodded. “That you’re All Might’s secret love child, exactly.”
Snipe paused.
“...But I’m not.”
Shoto nodded smugly. “Exactly what one of All Might’s secret love children would say.”
Snipe blinked.
Shoto blinked.
“By that logic,” Snipe said, “aren’t you also All Might’s secret love child?”
Shoto burst out into laughter. After a minute, the peals slowly subsided. “No,” he said, as if talking to a particularly slow child, “because I’m not American.”
Snipe blinked.
Shoto blinked.
“Yoink!” Shoto said, grabbing a strand of hair from Snipe’s head, before sprinting off. “I HAVE WORK TO DO!”
One of the windows in the dorm opened. “STOP SHOUTING, IT’S ONE IN THE FUCKING MORNING!” someone yelled out.
“THE TRUTH WAITS FOR NO MAN!” Shoto yelled back.
“So, I’ve figured it out,” Shoto said, crouching on the chair like a gremlin. “Why you don’t want me trying to figure out who All Might’s secret love child is, I mean.”
“That’s nice,” Rikido Sato said, blinking. His hand was frozen on the light chord of his lamp and he was still mostly under the covers of his bed. “Why are you in my room?”
“The truth waits for no man,” Shoto explained.
“What?”
“Anyways,” Shoto said, getting off the chair and beginning to pace, “I was first suspicious when you yelled at me when I realized the truth about Tsunotori.”
“When you screamed at 6 AM?” Sato asked.
“Then when I realized the truth about Kirishima, you tried to dissuade me once again,” Shoto continued, ignoring Sato.
“When you screamed at 7 AM?”
“Then when I investigated Snipe and Kodai, you were present too.”
“Midnight baking is a valid hobby,” Sato said petulantly, arms crossed. “Besides, it was just a coincidence.”
“That’s what I thought! Until I discovered this! Well, that, or Tokage and Hagakure gave it to me. Same difference.” Shoto whipped out a polaroid photo taken from a distance of an incredibly buff baby and All Might. “All Might-” he pointed to a man that looked suspiciously like an ordinary man with All Might’s head cut out and pasted onto it. “-and you!” He pointed to a buff baby that looked suspiciously like a normal baby with Sato’s head cut out and pasted onto it.
Sato stared at the picture.
Shoto stared at Sato.
The baby head fell off the photo.
Sato leaped out of bed and through the wall, vanishing into the night and leaving behind a suspiciously All Might-son shaped hole in the wall.
“I knew it!” Shoto shouted, falling to his knees. “DO YOU HEAR ME, WORLD? I SOLVED IT! I CRACKED THE CASE!”
“Good job, little brother,” Shoto’s dead brother and definitely not a hallucination Touya Todoroki, aka the very alive Dabi, said. “I’m proud of you.”