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2012-10-29
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Retrograde

Summary:

Homin Drabble Party 2012: Gryffindor perfect headboy!Yunho and Slytherin sly badass!Changmin who just wants Yunho’s attention.

Work Text:

In year one, when Yunho slips off the sorting hat and scoots on over to the Gryffindor table, equal parts proud and shy, a scowling kid two tables over catches his eye.

 

The boy's glaring at him over a pile of drumsticks, ears sticking out of his messy hair, and Yunho frowns right back.

 

"That's Voldemin," a tiny boy tells him as he sits down. "I'm Junsu."

 

Yunho's still full of stories about wizard battles and names he should not say, so he drops to the bench, drowning in his robes, and asks, horrified, "Is he related to the... the dark lord?"

 

Junsu stops stuffing his face to give him a look. And then he giggles like a narwhal and nudges the boy next to him, "Yah, Jaejoong-ah, this one's funny."

 

It takes Yunho a whole trimester to realize a) the kid's name is actually Changmin and b) why the nickname exists.

 

"You ate my treacle tarts," Changmin accuses, sticking his foot out to stop Yunho from walking past him.

 

But Yunho's late for Potions and he can't have that on his record and he doesn't remember eating any tarts at all, so he quietly steps over Changmin's foot and hurries down a dark corridor.

 

A week later, Changmin sabotages Yunho's Potions' homework, flanked by a cackling boy.

 

"Yoochun-ah," Changmin whines to the boy, "what do we do to Gryffindors who ignore me?"

 

Nonchalant, Yoochun glances at his nails. "Well, I guess we put fluxweed into their cauldrons." He pauses contemplatively. "Even though we're out of fluxweed and now we're gonna fail the class." He straightens as Jaejoong and Junsu burst into the stuffy classroom. "Ah, whatever."

 

At the end of the school year, Yunho hasn't spoken a single word to Changmin and has legitimately left a whole thing of tarts on Changmin's school desk several times to get him to back off. Yunho's all about unity and all against enabling stupid house rivalries, but then one day, Changmin just pisses. Yunho. Off.

 

During exams, Changmin enchants Yunho's quill and instead of writing down correct answers, Yunho projects like a cheat sheet.

 

He loses his house ten points and that is the kind of thing Yunho just doesn't ever forgive.

 

*

 

At the start of year two, Yunho drags his suitcase aboard the train, trying to balance his new cat atop it.

 

He gets stuck in the hallway.

 

"MOVE," Changmin booms, laden with bags of sweets and a small, immaculately polished cage.

 

Curious, Yunho peers at Changmin's pet. It's a cat, but unlike Yunho's adorable fluffball, Changmin's cat looks like the spawn of dementors and hellhounds, all skinny and black and unpleasant. It hisses at Yunho's confused kitten as the cages bump against each other.

 

"Is your.. uh, cat okay?" Yunho asks despite himself.

 

Changmin freezes.

 

"Changmin?"

 

With red cheeks, Changmin pushes past him, sweets scattering all over the train.

 

Yunho blinks after him until Jaejoong's hand clamps down on his shoulder.

 

"So you're talking to that little bastard now," Junsu accuses with a pout.

 

Oh, Yunho thinks.

 

Apparently.

 

*

 

In year three, when Junsu forces Yunho to be the Keeper, Changmin's unanimously elected as Slytherin's Seeker, and things end with trips to the hospital wing more often than not.

 

Yunho's sprawled across one cot; Changmin against another, arm thrown over his dirty face.

 

"Do you even know how to play?" Changmin mutters darkly. He shifts his arm to glare at Yunho. "Do you know anything?"

 

Yunho ignores him because a couple of girls sweep into the room and descend upon Yunho to coo and worry and nurse him back to health.

 

Changmin burrows under his covers, radiating fury.

 

*

 

During Halloween, Jaejoong's owl tangles with Yoochun's while delivering the post and somehow, Slytherin loses five points.

 

Yoochun's not happy, and Changmin seems happy to have a reason to help him be unhappy all over Jaejoong and Junsu's asses.

 

Yunho's the tallest now, and he intercepts fist smacks and pointed wands. Jaejoong and Junsu pile on Yoochun and it's not a fair fight when Yunho grabs Changmin by the tie and hauls him straight across the school grounds.

 

"Stop it," he tells Changmin seriously, towering over his chubby face.

 

"Make me," Changmin snaps back with a defiant huff.

 

Yunho doesn't and the points keep slipping until the ball, when Yunho goes with a Ravenclaw girl and Changmin goes with a Slytherin and spends the entire night throwing insults and spells at Yunho.

 

"What the hell is his problem," Junsu grumbles with a swish of his wand, untying crap from Yunho's hair.

 

"Aside from everything, you mean," Jaejoong adds, helping to de-frog Yunho's suit.

 

*

 

Year four and Yunho spends the summer growing.

 

His voice sounds unfamiliar to his own ears, his limbs feel awkward, and his hair is too long. So when he stumbles into Changmin on the train, cages clashing again, he's not sure why Changmin freezes up.

 

"I know I'm stealing your line," Yunho grins, trying to maneuver around him, "but move."

 

Changmin doesn't.

 

Their cats are yawning at each other, so Yunho squeezes past Changmin, mumbling under his breath, "Weird kid."

 

"You're the kid!" Changmin shouts back, which sounds ridiculous coming from a baby-faced bucket of evil, so Yunho just laughs and laughs and spends the entire year being amused by Changmin's childish taunts.

 

*

 

Yunho becomes a prefect in year five, which surprises no one.

 

He's allowed on school grounds early, to prepare for his new duties, and doesn't have to deal with Changmin and Yoochun's train shit, so on his first night patrolling, he feels good about life.

 

A little spark illuminates the hallway as he polices the castle and he figures he's earned a quick raid of the kitchen. The elves love him, so it's fine, probably.

 

He sneaks into the kitchen and there's already someone there, tall and lanky and eating everything in sight.

 

"Hey," Changmin says, only that can't be Changmin because Changmin doesn't sound like that. Or look like that. Changmin doesn't wear his hair slicked back and his cheeks don't have such a sharp edge to them.

 

Yunho's stomach twists.

 

"Your face is ridiculous," Changmin says around a mouthful of something. "How'd you make prefect. Seriously, your house is pathetic. The bread isn't bad, though."

 

Yunho avoids the kitchen until Christmas.

 

*

 

After Christmas, Yunho's back at school and chatting with some little Hufflepuff who has an obviously massive crush on him.

 

He's cold and not really all that interested, but he stands there anyway, knee-deep in snow, listening to her babble, when Yoochun strolls by.

 

Which can only mean Changmin is near and Yunho groans.

 

"Can't afford a coat?" Changmin smirks, bundled up, cheeks and ears pink from the cold. "Spent all your money on favors?"

 

Yunho doesn't look at him.

 

"As I was saying," the girl continues valiantly, ignoring the interruption, but Changmin materializes next to them, looking bored.

 

"Aw," he tells the girl but fixes his eyes on Yunho's face, "you're scraping the bottom of the barrel with this one."

 

The girl clutches Yunho's wrist. "It's none of your business."

 

Changmin shrugs, one corner of his lips curling.

 

Okay, Changmin's kind of a piece of shit, Yunho thinks, and keeps thinking it during a friendly match between their houses, where Changmin knocks him off his stick with such force that Yunho tumbles to the ground and doesn't come to until he feels Junsu's hands slapping at his face.

 

*

 

Yunho's grades are amazing, but Changmin's are better.

 

"Didn't even crack open a textbook," Changmin sighs, running a hand through his hair. The girls around him swoon.

 

Yunho rolls his eyes at Jaejoong.

 

"I'm just naturally gifted," Changmin continues.

 

Jaejoong rolls his eyes at Yunho.

 

"Some people are just born perfect," Changmin nods to himself, then gestures vaguely in Yunho's general direction. "Unlike others."

 

*

 

Six years in and Yunho's too sick to go to the ball.

 

He's too sick to go to class. Too sick to move from his bed.

 

His cat's curled up at his feet and the fireplace is on and everyone else is probably overdosing on butterbeer and flirting and breaking rules.

 

Yunho downs another potion but it makes no difference. He's still sick. All night.

 

Like there's a spell on him or something, because he wakes up in the morning and feels healthier than ever.

 

Junsu and Jaejoong are hanging off their beds, lips chapped and limbs knotted in weird ways.

 

Clearly, the ball was awesome and it's not fair at all.

 

Disappointed, Yunho throws on his uniform and makes his way to the library.

 

His favorite table is under siege by his least favorite person but he sucks it up and quietly plops down opposite Changmin.

 

"You know you don't have to wear a uniform all the time," Changmin drawls, barely looking up from his textbook.

 

Yunho shrugs and flips open a thick Herbology book.

 

They sit in silence for a minute and then Yunho feels creeped out.

 

He glances up and Changmin's staring at him.

 

"Do this for me," he says and slides a parchment at Yunho.

 

Their fingers brush.

 

"I'm not doing your homework," Yunho protests.

 

"Don't be so fucking perfect all the time," Changmin frowns and Yunho's heart sort of stops.

 

"Break some rules," Changmin says quietly, dangerously, eyes serious. "Your house is all about rule breaking anyway."

 

"At least we have rules," Yunho replies calmly but his pulse is racing and he's probably having a heart attack and he's going to die so he's obviously not recovered yet and—

 

"Did you enjoy your night off?" Changmin smirks as Yunho rises with purpose, book abandoned.

 

"What?"

 

Changmin leans back in his chair, fingers splayed under his chin, looking innocent.

 

Yunho avoids him for the rest of the year.

 

*

 

Of course he's Head Boy in seventh year.

 

He instructs prefects left and right as everyone boards the train. He confiscates Jaejoong's muggle paraphernalia and Junsu's weird shit and they flip him off with giant grins.

 

Yunho's busy directing tiny petrified first years alongside the Head Girl when Yoochun slips past him.

 

"Yo," he greets, hair messy and clothes rumpled.

 

Yunho puts himself on high alert but Yoochun just walks away, hands in his pockets, yawning. He sticks his head into Junsu and Jaejoong's train compartment, mumbles a halfhearted what's up, then disappears from view.

 

Alarmed, Yunho scans the train for Changmin.

 

But Changmin doesn't show up.

 

*

 

A week of putting out fires, literal and figurative, and Yunho's ready to just graduate already.

 

He's had his hands full of prefects and first years and everyone in between and all four houses.

 

And worst of all, everyone's been so nice to him.

 

There hasn't been a single snide remark. No insults. No comments about his ridiculous face or his ridiculous hair or his general ridiculousness. Nothing.

 

Yunho collapses onto his bed.

 

He would've been notified if a student had died, right? Like, some seventh year Slytherin scum, maybe?

 

Yunho spends five minutes trying to decide whether a person can die of being an asshole then jumps out of bed, angry and restless, throws on a pair of Junsu's pants and some weird shirt Jaejoong has laying around, and then he's off.

 

He knows all the passwords and all the paintings like him and trust him and let him pass straight to Slytherin quarters.

 

It's usually four per room and Yunho does the math and guesses where Yoochun and Changmin would most likely be holed up, being all prickly and demanding and loaded.

 

When he crosses into the room, Changmin's alone, in bed, being a total blanket burrito, and there's two cats milling about his feet.

 

Yunho wants to say a lot of things but what comes out first is: "What's my cat doing here?"

 

Changmin rolls up, still swaddled in blankets. "I don't know. It's been hanging out here since year three."

 

Feeling all messed up, Yunho takes a step closer. "What's wrong with you?"

 

"Nothing. I was sleeping."

 

"In a cocoon?"

 

Changmin scowls, hair matted to his forehead and ears sticking out. "What the hell are you doing here anyway? Did you—" he pauses, takes a moment to collect himself, then pastes an obviously pained, polite smile on his face. "I mean. Won't you get in trouble if—shit, this is hard."

 

Yunho stares, pieces of the past few days rearranging themselves. "Are you... are you trying to be nice?"

 

"Yeah, and it's giving me a stroke," Changmin admits, peeling himself out of the blankets.

 

Yunho is actually, seriously, hilariously so, so, so in love. "You don't have to."

 

Changmin glowers at him. "What?"

 

Yunho should shut up but he can't. "You don't have to be nice."

 

Changmin's shoulders stiffen. "Will you take points from my house if I'm not?"

 

Yunho needs to shut up shut up shut up but he says, "No."

 

He says it in some weird, tense, breathless way that makes Changmin get off the bed with dizzying speed.

 

"Are you gonna take points off," he asks, coming to stand in front of Yunho and shit, how is he taller now, "if I do this?"

 

This turns out to be a kiss, the kind that fucking wipes all data from Yunho's memory, rules and regulations and wise decision making skills.

 

"No," he says around Changmin's mouth, fingers shaking.

 

"And if I do this?" Changmin asks, sliding a hand down Yunho's pants. Junsu's pants. Someone's pants but it doesn't matter because Yunho's saying stupid shit like, "I might actually give you points" and "I'm sorry I ate your food when we were first years" and "does my cat like your cat."

 

"You are ridiculous," Changmin says but he's smiling so hard it's blinding. "And your shirt is really ugly."

 

"It's really ugly," Yunho agrees and presses his lips to Changmin's.

 

*

 

"What did you cut your hair with," Changmin taunts from across the schoolyard, "a lawnmower?"

 

"Do you even know what a lawnmower is?" Yunho yells back, scribbling something down into his notepad.

 

Junsu sighs.

 

Jaejoong nods.

 

"It's awful," Yoochun agrees, eyes puffy. "Every night. For hours. I don't... how do you... stamina."

 

Jaejoong straightens Yoochun's tie with sympathy.

 

"It's all my fault," Junsu wails desperately. "It was me. I ate the tarts. I did it and now there's an unholy union between our houses."

 

Jaejoong and Yoochun give him a calculating glance, then turn to look at each other, then promptly leave him behind.

 

Off in the distance, Changmin slams into Yunho, behind a pillar, hard and wild and laughing, and Yunho says, "Ten points to Slytherin."