Chapter Text
“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji said in that familiar, disapproving tone. His face appeared neutral as he watched Wei Wuxian work, save for the small crease between his brows.
Wei Wuxian sighed. “This again, Lan Zhan?” he asked, voice brimming with playful exasperation. They’d had this conversation many times before, so Wei Wuxian didn’t spare Lan Wangji much more than a glance. He was hunched over, focused on the trail of bodies he’d just laid, scouring the ground for just the right piece. “I told you, I know what I’m doing. Just let me work.”
“Wei Ying, please,” Lan Wangji said with a quiver of emotion. “This is bad for your body.”
“That’s not what Dr. Wen said!” Wei Wuxian countered. “She said, and I quote, ‘Even your perfect health is insufferable!’ Now, Lan Zhan, which one of these dead guy’s do you think has the Yin Tiger Amulet? I coulda sworn it was—BWAH! Lan Zhan?! Lan Zhan, you’re going to make me drop the controller!” Wei Wuxian yelped as he was lifted out of his creaking chair, squirming to ensure he was still facing the monitor. “Lan Zhan! Put me down! If I don’t loot these corpses before they despawn, I’ll—!”
Ignoring his protests, Lan Wangji kicked the beat up old gaming chair out from under Wei Wuxian with a nudge of his foot. Wei Wuxian, confused and still complaining, tried to grab for it, but let his controller slip from his hands. While he tried to catch it out of the air, Lan Wangji turned to the doorway and nodded.
Yuan, who had been standing in the hall behind a brand new, high quality gaming chair, returned the nod, a look of solemn determination in his eyes. With all his 5 year old might, Yuan wheeled the chair into the room. It was nearly twice his height, and it was an awkward shape for his little hands to grab onto. But when the child had seen his dad pushing the chair to Wei Wuxian’s gaming room earlier, Yuan had excitedly offered to help. And Lan Wangji could never say no to Yuan’s smiling face.
Lan Wangji patiently waited, unsuspecting Wei Wuxian in his arms, still grumbling but focused on the game. Once Yuan had pushed the chair within arms reach, Lan Wangji grabbed the headrest and helped to gently guide it the rest of the way. Then he unceremoniously dumped Wei Wuxian into the seat.
“Oof! Lan Zhan, so mean–! Wait a minute…” Wei Wuxian twisted in his seat to look at the new chair. The momentum caused the chair to spin around, too. “This… Lan Zhan, did you buy this?”
“Mn,” Lan Zhan nodded, the whisper of a smile pulling at his lips.
“I helped!” Yuan said. “I picked out the colour! And I pushed it all the way from the door!”
“Wow, from that door? All the way over there?” Wei Wuxian asked with exaggerated surprise. “So strong, A-Yuan! And the colour, too.” He traced the stitching between the red and black panels. “Such a good eye, A-Yuan. You’ll surely grow into a man of good taste!”
Yuan beamed. “Daddy, can I play with you?” he asked. He was gripping the plush armrests of the chair, looking back and forth between the screen and Wei Wuxian.
Wei Wuxian laughed, before throwing his legs over the opposite armrest and folding himself up to make extra room in the chair. “Sure can, kiddo, crawl on… up…”
He trailed off, having felt the chill in the air spilling from his husband’s eyes. Wei Wuxian looked up at Lan Wangji’s composed but condemning face, then at the gorey scene on the monitor, then at eager little Yuan crawling in the chair beside him.
“Y’know what, I’m actually getting bored of this game, A-Yuan,” Wei Wuxian said as he saved and exited to the title screen. “Why don’t we go play in the garden instead, huh? Wouldn’t that be fun?”
“Aww, but, Daddy, I wanted to play the crow game!” Yuan pouted, watching the crows fly across the screen to reveal the title Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation. He jutted out his lower lip and looked at Wei Wuxian, eyelashes batting in time with the ominous flute music in the background. “Pleeease?” he said.
“Tsk tsk! A-Yuan, you should know by now that face only works on Papa! Daddy is immune to your adorable little eyes!” He squished Yuan’s cheeks playfully. Yuan tried to hold his strategically adorable pout in place, but his bright giggles slowly broke through the cracks. “Now! Go put your sneakers on! We gotta see if the radishes have any new leaves.”
At this, Yuan completely lost interest in the M rated game that he had been so desperately curious about moments ago. “Okay!” he said excitedly, hopping off the chair and scurrying to the door. “Let’s go, let’s go!”
“Be right there, kiddo!” Wei Wuxian called after him. He chuckled quietly. He glanced up at Lan Wangji, who was also watching Yuan scurry for his sneakers. When he noticed Wei Wuxian looking up at him, he frowned again. “Oh, what?” Wei Wuxian drawled. “What is it now, Lan Zhan?”
“Your back,” Lan Zhan replied plainly. “If you keep sitting like this, you’ll need physiotherapy.”
“Oh, don’t be dramatic, Lan Zhan!” To tease him further, Wei Wuxian let his head fall back over the armrest so he was looking at Lan Wangji upside down. “You just don’t appreciate bi culture! Every chaotic bi sits like this. Though, I suppose you wouldn’t know what that’s like,” he smirked, “since you’ve only ever had eyes for me.”
The sound of tiny sneakers against hardwood approached them from down the hallway. “Hurry up, Daddy! We gotta check the radishes!” Yuan shouted.
“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Wei Wuxian called back. “Go back to the entryway! Don’t wear your shoes in the house!” Wei Wuxian’s grin widened as the footsteps skidded to a stop then retreated. He finally swung his legs back onto the floor, and spun a full circle in his fancy new chair before bouncing to his feet to face Lan Wangji. “Besides, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said, draping his arms over his husband’s shoulders, “if I ever need physio, I can count on you to foot the bill, right?”
When they had just started dating, this type of teasing would have made Lan Wangji red as a beet. In fact, all it took to get him flustered was a soft touch, a sly smile, or a low whisper. But over 6 years had passed since they’d married, and even before that Lan Wangji had nearly 10 years experience in Getting Teased by Wei Wuxian 101. So now there was not a hint of distress on the man’s face, as he responded with the utmost sincerity. “Yes.”
No, Lan Wangji didn’t squirm under Wei Wuxian’s teasing anymore. Wei Wuxian was the one who squirmed under Lan Wangji’s kindness. He quickly averted his gaze. “Yes, well.” He cleared his throat. “I’d, um, best catch up to A-Yuan,” he said. He released Lan Wangji from his grasp and turned to go. But Lan Wangji caught his wrist and tugged, pulling Wei Wuxian back just enough for a quick kiss on the cheek before pushing him forward again to catch up with their son. Wei Wuxian smiled softly at him, fingers brushing his cheek where the kiss had landed.
When he got to the entryway he noticed that A-Yuan must have already gone out. He grabbed the worn out combat boots from the pile of much nicer shoes Lan Wangji had tried to get him to replace them with and made quick work of the laces.
When he wandered outside, he was surprised to see that Yuan hadn’t gone around to the garden in the back. Instead, he was standing by the driveway where a strange man in stained green sweats shouldering two backpacks and… a child?
Oh no.
Trying to look as casual as possible, Wei Wuxian walked down the steps of their apartment building two at a time.
“I told you, kid, I’m not lost!” the man growled at A-Yuan, crumpling a scrap of paper in his free hand. His other hand was wrapped around the legs of a small boy, about Yuan’s age, who was dangling over his shoulder.
Yuan furrowed his brow, in an uncanny resemblance to Lan Wangji. “But, Mr. Green Man, you look lost,” he said.
“And you look like a kid who does what he’s told, but here you are! Now stop talking, you’re bothering Guzi,” the green-clad man snapped.
Yuan frowned, expression shifting for confused curiosity to hurt.
“Hey, now,” Wei Wuxian interjected. He smiled broadly, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “My A-Yuan is a perfectly good kid,” he said, consciously steadying his voice. As he came up behind Yuan, he placed a hand on his shoulder and gently guided the child behind him, where Yuan grabbed onto his pant leg. “He was only trying to help. And by the looks of you—” Wei Wuxian pointedly looked from the man’s greasy hair, to his mismatched socks and back again, “---you need it.”
(Of course, Wei Wuxian knew he didn’t look much better, but at least he knew he had help. And that help was his beautiful nepo-baby of a husband who was probably ironing towels up in their apartment).
The man sneered. He threw the paper to the ground and spun to take a step towards Wei Wuxian. “How dare you?! Who do you think you are to speak to me like—?!” The man suddenly stopped in his tracks, eyes widening. It was Wei Wuxian’s turn to look confused, but it didn’t last long. The second time a faint whimper came from the child on his shoulder, Wei Wuxian could hear it too.
Mouth pressed tightly shut, the stranger chucked the two backpacks aside and dropped to a knee, sliding the child off his shoulder in the process. The child swayed on his feet for a minute and the man placed his hands on either shoulder to steady him. “Dad, are we home yet?” the child–Guzi, Wei Wuxian assumed–asked. He rubbed his teary eyes with his chubby fists. “I wanna go home. We’re going home, right?”
“Of course we are, kid,” the man replied. There was an air of confidence in his lowered voice, but his face was scrunched up as though he wasn’t sure. “We’re almost there, I promise. Has your dad ever broken a promise?”
Guzi sniffled and nodded slowly. The man, who seemed so shameless, at least had the decency to look embarrassed by this. And yet, he didn’t spare Wei Wuxian or Yuan a glance. He didn’t even look over his shoulder to see if anyone else was watching this very public scene. All of the man’s attention was on his child.
“Here, how about this,” the man said, digging his phone out of his pocket, while simultaneously reaching for the slip of paper on the ground and shaking the dust off it. “Dad’s gonna put the address in his phone. Then the weird robot lady can tell us where to go. Smart, right? Isn’t your dad smart?”
“But Dad,” Guzi replied, “you forgot to charge your phone, remember?”
The man, confused, looked down at his phone and started tapping the screen. Growing more irritated with each tap, he cursed under his breath and shoved the phone in his pocket.
Having seen enough, Wei Wuxian sighed and approached the pair. “Hey,” he said.
The green clothed man quickly shot him a death glare. “Can’t you see I’m busy?” he growled. “Get lost!”
Wei Wuxian laughed, not bothering to mask his condescension. “Sure, got any tips? Since you seem to be the expert here,” he teased. His mind began to stray from his helpful intentions as he stared down at the angry green man. He was quickly brought back to reality when the familiar pull of Yuan’s fist around his pant leg ceased. Yuan wandered around Wei Wuxian, cautiously reaching his hand into the other child’s field of vision. He waved, and Guzi looked up at him.
Yuan smiled at the acknowledgement. “Hi.” His voice was as friendly and warm as it was quiet and reserved. “My name’s Lan Yuan. I’m 5. What’s your name?”
Guzi hesitantly lowered his hands from his face. “Guzi…” He glanced at his dad who, to Wei Wuxian’s surprise, seemed very invested in this interaction. The man gestured for Guzi to continue, so Guzi looked back at Yuan. “I’m 5, too.”
Yuan’s smile widened. “Wow! Do you want to be my friend?” Yuan asked. “I could show you my radishes! They’re still growing, but I bet they’ll be really big soon.” He swung his arms out wide for emphasis.
Wei Wuxian had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing at how hard Yuan was trying to control his excitement at the prospect of a new friend to show radishes to. There weren’t a lot of kids his age in the neighborhood. Outside of kindergarten, he really only had his cousin, Jin Ling, who was starting his rebellious phase 8 years early.
It would be nice if Yuan and Guzi got along, except… Wei Wuxian side-eyed the green-clothed man on the ground. He’d started biting at his fingernails. He watched his son intently, as though this was the most high stakes interaction he’d ever seen.
Wei Wuxian sighed, then crouched down beside the man, facing the children. “A-Yuan,” he said, “I know you want to show your new friend your radishes, but Guzi and his dad need to find their way home first. Right, Mr. Green Man?”
The man jolted when addressed. He’d been so focused on his son he wasn’t paying attention to Wei Wuxian at all. He shot Wei Wuxian another glare, muttering, “Don’t call me such stupid name…”
Wei Wuxian smirked. “Mr. Guzi’s Dad, then,” he teased. “Would you like to come upstairs and charge your phone?”
At first the man looked shocked, then angry, then his face screwed up in concentration as though faced with a grave decision. He stared at the ground, then glanced up to see Wei Wuxian still silently staring at him with a shit-eating grin. He repeated this motion twice more before finally relenting.
“Gah! Listen up, fuck–er, fudgeface! My name’s Qi Rong. Qi! Rong!” He pointed accusingly at Wei Wuxian, while his free hand groped for the backpacks’ straps. “And don’t you forget it!” As he crawled to his feet, he threw the bags over his shoulder, then marched towards the building. “And I only need your help because this shit–er, crappy phone won’t hold a charge. You got that?”
Wei Wuxian was practically shaking with restrained laughter. “Yup, got it!” He watched with great anticipation as Qi Rong marched right up to one of the ground floor apartments.
Unfortunately for Wei Wuxian’s cruel sense of humour, Yuan was a much more honest man than he. “Wait, Mr. Qi Rong! That's Mr. Xiao’s door!” He ran forward, pointing at the stairs. “My dads and me live upstairs. I’ll show you! Come on, Guzi!”
Qi Rong huffed. “Don’t tell my son what to do!” Then he added, “Guzi, come here! We’re going upstairs!”
Wei Wuxian snickered at the pedantry. Guzi looked at him curiously, but when Wei Wuxian waved him off, he hurried after his father. “Coming, Dad!”
Wei Wuxian followed the small crowd at a leisurely pace, only realizing as Yuan pushed the door open that he probably should have gone in first to prepare Lan Wangji that they were bringing unannounced guests.
“Papa!” Yuan called. “Papa, look who we met on the street!”
Wei Wuxian nearly choked. “A-Yuan! Don’t say it like that!” Wei Wuxian took the remaining stairs two at a time. By the time he ran through the door behind them, Qi Rong and Lan Wangji were already staring each other down in the hallway.
The children, of course, had no sense of how tense the atmosphere had become. “Do you wanna see my room? Daddy helped me paint butterflies on the walls!”
Guzi’s eyes went wide. “Really? That’s so cool!”
Yuan beamed. “Right? My dads are the coolest!”
The children’s excited chatter slowly faded into the background as they wandered deeper into the apartment. All the while, Qi Rong and Lan Wangji continued to stare at each other. Lan Wangji with cold disapproval, Qi Rong with indignation.
“Wei Ying.” Wei Wuxian nearly jumped out of his skin at the sudden stern tone. “Explain.”
That was not going to be an easy task. Slipping past Qi Rong to stand between them, Wei Wuxian really noticed how much Qi Rong’s grungy appearance clashed with the meticulously tidy entryway Lan Wangji insisted on maintaining. The man looked like he hadn’t showered in a week. His clothes were just as bad, dotted with nearly every type of stain imaginable. Even from down the hall, the man smelled like a damp basement and day old fry oil at the same time. There was cheap nail polish flaking off his fingers and so much of his hair had fallen out of his braid that you could barely call it a braid. The man was so disheveled, in all the ways Lan Wangji couldn’t stand.
But when Wei Wuxian’s gaze settled on his face, he couldn’t help but sympathize. The bags beneath his eyes were a dark gradient of purple. Wei Wuxian had a hunch that they were so deeply etched into Qi Rong’s skin that even a week of rest wouldn’t soften them. It was exhausting enough for two parents to raise a child, but Wei Wuxian had a nagging feeling that Qi Rong was holding up more than half of Guzi’s world.
Wei Wuxian sighed, then took a few more steps to close the gap between him and his husband. “Lan Zhan,” he said softly, “he got lost with his son and A-Yuan wanted to help. It doesn’t hurt to let him look up the address. That Guzi seems like a good kid. Even if his dad is a little…” Wei Wuxian looked Qi Rong up and down.
Qi Rong scoffed. “If you’ve got something to say, say it to my face, bastard. And,” he furrowed his brow and looked away, “Guzi is a good kid. The best, even! You should be grateful that he likes your kid. Actually, you should be honoured.” Even though his pale face was red with embarrassment, Qi Rong’s words were clearly sincere.
Just then, the three parents heard an outburst of giggling, punctuated with cries like, “Woah!” and “So cool!” and “Again, again!”
Wei Wuxian let out a faint, delighted chuckle in response. “Honoured, indeed,” he said. He pat his husband’s firm shoulder. “Right, Lan Zhan?”
Lan Wangji tilted his head forward. Wei Wuxian was still nervous about what he was thinking, but at least Lan Wangji’s expression had softened slightly. “I will make tea,” he said at last. “Wei Ying, please ensure our guest is comfortable.”
As Lan Wangji turned to head for the kitchen, Wei Wuxian gave him a playful salute. “You got it, babe!” Then, to Qi Rong, “Shall we?” Without waiting for an answer, he spun on his heels and strode down the hall, hands clasped behind his back. He didn’t bother checking whether Qi Rong was following. He could already tell from the grumpy grumbling that tailed him.
Once they got to the living room, Wei Wuxian offered Qi Rong a charger. He discovered that his guest was a Samsung user in an iPhone household after Qi Rong had tried, unsuccessfully, to jam it into the end a couple times. Wei Wuxian rolled his eyes playfully. What a mess, he thought to himself. This was quickly followed by, Takes one to know one.
He opened up the maps app on his phone and handed it to Qi Rong. “Here,” he said with a grin.
Qi Rong grimaced, clearly not wanting to accept more help than he had to. After a moment’s thought, he finally reached out and snatched the phone. Wei Wuxian snickered and Qi Rong furrowed his brow while making great efforts to ignore him.
After typing in the address, Qi Rong frowned. He grunted, held down the back button, and began typing again. He looked even more frustrated the second time, and proceeded to do it over once more. On his third attempt to type in the address, Wei Wuxian finally gave in to curiosity.
“What is it? Are you that prone to typos?”
“No!” Qi Rong snapped aggressively. Of course, that was the moment Lan Wangji walked into the room with a tray of tea. He glared at Qi Rong and Wei Wuxian could practically see the sweat forming on his brow. He lowered his voice, but didn’t quite lose the aggression. “It’s your stupid phone! It won’t show me the right place!”
“Weren’t you lost?” Wei Wuxian teased. “How would you know what the right place is?”
Qi Rong fumed and shoved the phone back in Wei Wuxian’s direction. “If you’re so smart, you do it!” He offered up the slip of paper as well, then snatched up a cup of tea once Wei Wuxian took them from his hands.
Wei Wuxian rolled his eyes, then turned the paper over in his hand. His thumb froze over the screen, and he bit back the biggest laugh of the day. Knowing full well that his amusement was thinly veiled, he tilted the screen towards Lan Wangji, who had taken a seat beside him.
Qi Rong didn’t know what was so funny. “The hell’s wrong with you? You figure it out or not?”
Wei Wuxian nodded vigorously. The motion shook a few chuckles free of his sealed lips. Seeing he was distracted, Lan Wangji answered for him. In a tone that sounded eerily similar to a computer generated GPS voice, he said, “You are here.”
“Ha ha,” Qi Rong spat sarcastically. “Very funny. That’s the problem I had, too.” He rolled his eyes. “Clearly this smart ass ain’t as smart as he thinks.”
“No, no, let me explain,” Wei Wuxian said, wiping a tear from his eye with a single finger. “You’ll be laughing too, just wait.” As he spoke, he got up and headed down the hall to his gaming room. He retrieved a random letter from the bottom drawer of his desk. One that had been torn open, read, and shoved back in the envelope under the false pretense of “I’ll get to that later.”
When he re-entered the room, he ignored the judgemental glance Lan Wangji gave the neglected mail, and handed it to their guest. With it was the slip of paper with the scribble address Qi Rong ws trying to find. As Qi Rong snatched up both and scrutinized them, Wei Wuxian grinned mischievously from ear to ear.
“Welcome to the building, neighbour.”