Work Text:
I can't really feel happy when I open this site anymore. I used to arrive here, excited to see write, or read a new fic. But now... I'm just tired. It feels like a chore now. I'm tired because of something that happened today. I got up, and tried to go for a walk today, when I slipped down the stairs. Every time I tried to walk up them, I kept slipping and falling, until I looked down and saw 878 banana peels, covering the stairs. I was suspicious. Either this was a prank, or the banana eater was paying me a visit. I swept the peels to the side, to see a tripwire on the ground.
Of course, I stepped over it, only to find a pit on the other side. I narrowly ran on the air, desperate not to fall in. I fell in, and found I was stuck. Luckily, due to a series of unrelated events from yesterday, I had a pogo stick in my oddly huge pocket, and I was able to escape. However, someone had surrounded the hole with whoopee cushions outside, trapping me in. The designs printed on them could only mean one thing.
The April Fool.
My victory from last year made it bitter. It was out for blood now, a target on my back like a kick me sign (which I had to remove several times today). My humiliation was all it could seek, to make me look like an idiot. Well I am one, but I'll never give it the satisfaction of getting one over on me.
Well, another one over on me.
Quickly, I jumped over the minefield of whoopee cushions, flapping my arms to give me some extra air time. This wasn't the only trap set, with many water balloon turrets set to aim at me, poles with joy buzzers surrounding the area, and paint guns rigged to fire at the slightest movement, all precisely placed in various patterns at three different levels of height, to maximize the chances of hitting me, with eight motors, twelve batteries supplying power, and approximately thirty tracks but I won't go into detail.
After unplugging the contraption from the power strip nearby, I set off to find the object of my rage. This was difficult, as there was a piece of candy nearby, which made it hard to focus on my current task. It happened to be my favorite treat as well, a grain of sugar. I picked it up, to see another one nearby. I picked the second packet up, to see a third one. This must've been my lucky day.
This trail continued, leading away to an conspicuous red X. Not too big of a detail, I supposed. I reached down to pick up the last grain, and abruptly heard a loud crash. A cage had dropped on me, while I was distracted. How shocked I was, to see myself outsmarted by the April Fool once more. How unpredictable, unexpected. Soon, it emerged.
"It is I, the April Fool!"
"Yeah I know, we've already met."
"Oh, yes, I was just explaining for the viewers."
"Oh, of course."
"So, here we are! I've finally caught you, after these years I've spent plotting! Two days!"
"How brilliant of you, luring me here with these sugar grains."
"Those are salt. I kept eating the sugar and kept getting trapped by this weird falling cage."
"Wh- you betrayed me!"
"I literally never said it was sugar. You just saw it on the ground, dirt and all, and grabbed them. I didn't even think it would work, I just made a bet to do it."
"Wait, so I made you lose out? You owe someone something?"
"No, I killed them."
"Oh."
The Fool walked towards its giant machine, with buttons and levers, and dials and screens. All of them controlled variations of the game Flappy Bird, except for two.
It pushed the one saying "KILL."
I felt the cage lower into a pit, filled with with acid, and crocodiles, and crocodiles on acid. I realized this was it. The April Fool was going to win.
"There's one thing I'd like to know before I die."
"No."
"Ight, fuck you too."
I shot it, and pushed the second button, the self destruct one.
Unsatisfying ending, right? I wasted your time for an ending that fell way too rushed. April fools, suckers.