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Roy Harper was dead. Jason’s best friend died.
He was doing better! He was supposed to be safe. And he died. And Jason didn’t even know who killed him.
"Fuck!" Jason pulled at his hair, tears falling freely. "Fuck, fuck, fuck! I- I can’t fucking to this again! Fuck!"
He choked. He wanted to cry, to scream, to kill. To avenge Roy.
*
When Jason trained withe the All-Caste, they discovered something. He wasn’t that special with the not-staying-dead thing, but he was special because of how long he was dead. Six months was far more time than it should, and it made them belive that he had a special connection to death that the others like him didn’t. they found out it was true.
If he meditated long enough, he would leave the physical plane of existence and travel somewhere else. The other side, heaven, whatever people called it. He didn’t remember his time there while dead, but on the first purposeful trip his mother found him almost immidieatly.
And it was amzing. But also painful. That’s why he promised himself not to mess with anyone he knew while alive, not to look for them. Decision was also influenced by other things. Like what Batman taught him; that sometimes you need to contain yourself, or the power will be your downfall. He’d seen it enough with Ra’s al Ghul, David Cain and alternate dimension Batman to be wary of that lesson. Beside, it was wrong to fuck up the eternal peace of the dead. It felt physically wrong, like the universe tried to tell him that. And maybe, just a little, he was scared he wouldn’t find them. That he would have to live with the knowledge they didn’t made it to the other side. That they were in the painful reflection of this paradise – the place called by some hell.
So he didn’t search for Bruce and Dick when they were presumed dead. It wasn’t easy, but he didn’t break. Those relationships thy had were with living, not the dead. Death was supposed to be the end. Of course, in the end, it turned out they both were alive. It only made him more glad he sticked to his decision. Jason didn’t know what he would do if he didn’t find them.
But… then Roy died. And it wasn’t fake. And he tried, he really tried.
In the end, he was there, standing on the soft, green grass, trying to feel out Roy’s presence. It tugged at his sould. He really was dead. Jason clentched his fists and followed.
*
Roy was sitting across an old man. He was smiling and gesticulating wildly. He looked happy. Jason swallowed hard and blinked his eyes in the effort of stopping tears from falling. Roy hadn’t talked much about his childhood, but enough so that he could make a good guess about wh this man was. Brave Bow, Roy’s adoptive father that taught him to shoot bow.
His best friend found his family, and was happy. Heitched to come forward, to call out for Roy, to hug him and tell him his most guarded secret. But he couldn’t it wouldn’t be good for Roy, and Jason would loose himself to the other side. And he couldn’t do that just yet. He had things to do. With a last glance, he reached for his physical body. He came back with a picture of laughing Roy burned in his mind. It was a good picture.