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It’s Christmas eve, Iris and I are curled up on the couch, as Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer plays forgotten on the television. Each of us under our own tacky Christmas throw with a cup of hot chocolate.
“What’d you get me for Christmas this year?” Iris asks, batting her eyelashes. Her puppy dog eyes haven’t worked on me since the 7th grade.
“You’ll just have to wait and find out it’s only, what, 10 more hours till we’ll be opening presents.”
“Can you at least give me a hint?” She tries to crank up the cuteness with a pouty lip.
“Nope,” I stand resolute with the familiarity that Iris tries every year to find out what she’s getting for Christmas. Joe may or may not have hidden her presents at the precinct this year to make sure she couldn’t peek.
“Fine,” Iris says, still pouting “if you won’t tell me what you got me what did you get everybody else?”
“I got Cisco a couple records I think he’ll like. I got Caitlin and Ronnie a wine decanter and some personalized wine glasses. I wasn’t sure what to get Joe so I just flashed through all his paperwork for the rest of the year.” The last gift gets a sharp short laugh out of Iris.
“He’ll definitely appreciate that more than any more ties. Remember when we were twelve and we both got him the same tie for Father’s day?”
“How could I forget! You started accusing me of stealing your gift before he opened yours and we realized it.” We’re both laughing at the memory and Iris has to set down her chocolate so she doesn’t spill it from laughing so hard.
“It’s not my fault that I thought I was the only one in the family with a good sense of fashion, Mr. lived in striped long sleeve polos until he graduated college.”
“Hey they were cool!”
“Maybe when we were 8,” Iris fires back after she’s finally caught her breath in between giggles.
“But now let’s get to what’s really important, what did you get Len? And you better not say a tie,” Iris laughs loudly at her own joke as I feel the color drain out of my face. How could I forget to get MY BOYFRIEND a present?!?! That’s not exactly true, I did have a gift for Len. I bought it last year when everything went on clearance. It was a cheap Christmas sweatshirt with a picture of a dog with fleas, scratching himself, and underneath it says ‘Fleas Navidad’. To top it off, when you squeeze the dog’s nose it barks Feliz Navidad. That is not what you get your significant other for your first Christmas together.
I panickedly look at the time. It’s late enough that everything is closed, but gas stations. He is not going to get Len anything that last minute. I abandon my hot chocolate and blanket and begin pacing and thinking. I could flash to Australia to get Len a present. No it would be christmas day there, everything would still be closed. Iris must have been able to sense that my thoughts were spiraling out of control because she piped up.
“I have an idea but you’re not gonna like it.”
The next morning, the West house is full of people, food, and good cheer. I can tell the rogues are a little out of their element but they are welcomed with open arms. Everyone sits around the tree as presents are doled out. Mick, sitting a little close to the fire, has a wicked grin when he opens up a mini heat gun from Cisco, who dramatically makes him promise to not use it for villany. Lisa makes out like a bandit with several gold items. Barry made sure that all the rogues that were invited would have a present. There’s even a present under the tree for Mardon on the unlikely chance that he showed up. Shawna, Hartley, and Axel each got a thoughtful gift from either the speedster himself or someone on team Flash.
When I open up my present I can’t help the bark of laughter that comes out. The sweatshirt is very on brand for me but I had hoped that my gift from Barry would be a bit more thoughtful. As I pull the sweater out of the box to show it off, an envelope falls out that is labeled for ‘For Len’s Eyes Only.’ My eyebrow raises but I do my best to hide it in the packaging because I know how nosy Lis and my rogues are.
Everyone leaves with arms full of presents and stomachs full of good food. I hurry to my apartment to see what the last part of my present is. When I finally get home I tear into the envelope. Inside is a USB drive and a note. The note reads ‘I want to get you something nice and meaningful for Christmas but even though I am the fastest man alive I ran out of time. I hope this holds you over while I get you something better. I will expect his back.’ So even the great Barry Allen has something to be blackmailed by? I can’t wait to see it. I immediately get a laptop and plug in the USB drive. All that's on it is a single video file
The video starts with a younger Barry too close to the camera. A much softer Barry. His frame is still the lean one Len is used to but it's so much softer with a layer of fat. Len’s eyes are locked on as Barry backs away from the camera. With more of the room in view Len can see that he is in a dorm room with the garish red and gold color scheme of Central University, but all that goes unnoticed by Len as he takes in the costume Barry is wearing. It’s nothing but a tight pair of red booty shorts lined in white fur and a pair of black boots with matching white fur. As music starts to play Len is too focused on Barry’s seductive dance to realize that Barry is the one singing. Between Barry’s dance moves, his outfit, and his rich tenor cover of the Jingle Bell Rock, Len's attention is very much divided.
After several rewatches and a tech lesson with Hartley, there is a post from Leopald Schnee tagging a certain CCPD analyst. ‘Who knew CCPD had such talent. Be careful someone might snatch him up’ and attached was a MP3 of Barry’s cover of Jingle Bell Rock.