Work Text:
She was looking at her phone like the days before, leaning against the metal balustrade near the house but far enough away not to be seen from the house. And like the days before, she was pretending to look busy and like she didn't exactly know or care where she was.
She felt bad that she couldn't just let this man be. All that she wanted was one single authentic and thankful response to what she would say. Then she would never ever interact with him again.
But he didn't show up.
She had no idea when he would leave the studio. On the first day she waited for half an hour. Realising that this could be too short, she planned ahead to have more time waiting. The days after that she waited longer. First an hour, then an hour and a half.
To no avail.
He never left the building when she was waiting.
Her stay in London was almost over. Today was her last chance.
She started to listen to the radio to calm herself.
Suddenly, she saw someone out of the corner of her eye.
There he was. She smiled, her face lit up. But he was not alone. He walked with a woman.
Then suddenly, he kissed the woman. Her face fell.
That must be his wife.
She watched them walking down the street together, facing away from her. She was glad that he was happy. But her disappointment and the pain in her heart were the proof how she really felt deep inside, that she couldn'nt lie to herself how much it hurt.
She looked at them. Every second she watched them felt like the same knife was furcefully thrusted into her heart again and again.
The radio was playing the next song. It was a song she loved.
"In your eyes..."
She was looking at them. Her eyes got wet. It reminded her of the indescribable, raw, unadorned emotions she felt, triggered by his gaze alone, when she saw him for the first time in a recording. It was the way he looked at people, at the camera in photographs and videos.
"I see the doorway (in your eyes)"
His eyes were the door through which you could look into his heart.
"To a thousand churches (in your eyes)"
She felt a strange sense of hope and authenticity when she saw his gaze for the first time. She had never seen such a genuine look before.
"The resolution (in your eyes)"
Like she finally found someone who would be kind to her sensitive soul.
"Of all the fruitless searches (in your eyes)"
She thought of all the men who broke her heart, of all the painful experiences she had.
Her view at them got blurry from the tears in her eyes.
"Oh, I see the light and the heat (in your eyes)"
Looking into his eyes felt like a proof that trust can exist.
The genuineness... No shadow.
He had secrets, no doubt, but there was no cruelty in his gaze. Like there is a light in his eyes that indicated his kind heart and soul.
"Oh, I wanna be that complete (in your eyes)"
She looked at them, crying.
She would never be seen by him. She would never be someone in his eyes and she knew it.
They disappeared behind the corner of a house.
She stood up and walked away in the opposite direction.
Only the Thames could ease her pain now.