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Akihiko wakes up on Harumi's couch. Again. This is the third time this week-- he really can't keep doing this.
But this time is different, for a few reasons. For a start, it's morning; usually Harumi wakes him up sometime in the evening so he can go home. He must have forgotten.
Which leads him to the second reason. The reason Harumi forgot, as far as Akihiko can tell.
He's not alone. Harumi is on the couch with him-- Harumi is on top of him.
Akihiko's breath is caught in his throat, too afraid to wake Harumi up with the movement of it because his head is directly on Akihko's chest. He thinks his heart must be pounding loud enough for Harumi to hear it, but so far he hasn't stirred. He just lays there, lays between Akihiko's legs, one hand gently clasped over his arm. Totally at peace. Akihiko has barely been awake two minutes and he's already losing his mind. This is a special brand of torture just for him, he's sure of it. What does he do? The logical course of action would be to wake Harumi up, right? Harumi would want to be woken up if he knew what predicament they were in, wouldn't he? Akihiko has no idea how they ended up like this- Harumi doesn't seem the type to be clingy in his sleep. Or the type to fall asleep in random places at all.
Did Akihiko...do something? He's been known to talk nonsense while half awake, did he say something to make Harumi stay? Or- gods forbid- did he make Harumi stay, somehow, while not totally lucid? But Harumi would have no problems just pushing him off in that kind of event, right? He shouldn't, Akihiko isn't that strong, even with his track training. So Harumi must have stuck around by choice. But why?
Their faces are so close together. That isn't totally out of the ordinary for the two of them- as self conscious as Akihiko always is about it- but he's never been able to just look before. To simply stare, without worry of repercussions. Harumi is uncommonly good looking, Akihiko has always known that, but like this...
He's so soft. Harumi is so often glaring, or narrowing his eyes, or flashing that smirk that means he's about to do something downright evil, but without all the ice in those expressions it's easy to see his features for what they are. Soft, delicate. His eyelashes are so long, casting shadows over his cheeks. Even his mouth is a soft curve, just slightly downturned.
Akihiko... he may be dense, and he knows that, but he's not entirely unaware of himself. He's aware of the fact that the way he looks at Harumi isn't exactly... normal, for a friend. Or the way he thinks about him. How much he thinks about him. How much Harumi means to him. The closeness he always seems to crave but can't bear to ask for.
Akihiko knows what it is, what it means. The words are there, in the back of his mind, but he can't face them yet. Can't give them meaning, because then they would have so much meaning. They would mean something for the rest of his life. It would change everything, change his plan.
(It would change how Daiki looked at him forever. The rest of his family might let it slide, maybe they're that lenient. But Daiki would never forgive him.)
Akihiko knows he'll have to face it, if it gets any worse. If those words do take shape in his mind, become more than the sum of their parts. But they haven't, and it hasn't, yet, so Akihiko will carry on. Let himself and Harumi stay as they are, for as long as he can. He can't afford to lose this, to anything.
(He doesn't want to lose this to Daiki finding out about it. If Daiki made him choose... Akihiko doesn't know which one he would pick. That fact scares him more than anything.)
Harumi's hair is almost tickling his throat, but not quite. It looks so soft. Akihiko has seen his bathroom, has seen the seemingly endless products for his hair and skin and face in there. He's never actually touched it, even though Harumi has ruffled his hair (and berated his lack of care for it) multiple times. But like this, so close, Akihiko could just reach out and...
But he won't. He can't. That would be... too much, too brazen, too close to that great something. He can't.
It takes him a moment to realise he already has. His fingers are pushing into Harumi's hair already, and gods, it really is soft. Before he can stop himself, he's cupping Harumi's head with his whole hand, burying it in his hair, feeling the strands slipping through his fingers like water. This is addictive. Dangerous is what it really is, Akihiko needs to stop, he needs to stop now--
Harumi's eyes shoot open. He stares at Akihiko. Akihiko stares back, hand still frozen in his hair. His face is more red than Akihiko has ever seen it.
So much for not facing it yet.