Archive of Our Own

Crosshair glares at the shuttle that came down from the Shepherd to whisk Howzer away from him. A chuckle coming from behind his ear snaps him from his one sided staring contest against the small ship.

“What did Rex’s little shuttle do to you, tranyc’ika,” Howzer hugs Crosshair from behind. His hand rests on Crosshair’s swell and Crosshair feels him grin against his neck as Beskar’ika kicks his palm.

“It’s going to take you from me,” Crosshair answers. Howzer sighs and walks to stand in front of him. Howzer takes his hands in his.

“I know you're nervous, mesh’la,” Howzer begins. “But I’ll have some of our best vode beside me, including your brother. I shouldn’t be gone long, tranyc’ika, maybe two weeks at most.” Howzer drops one hand to tenderly cup Crosshair’s cheek. “I’ll comm everyday.”

“You’d better,” Crosshair pouts as he leans into Howzer. He laughs as he strokes his thumb across his cheek.

“I’ll holo as well,” his hand goes down to stroke Crosshair’s tummy with the back of his fingers. “I’m expecting updates on Beskar’ika as well.”

“Of course,” Crosshair agrees.

“Captain!” One of Rex’s men calls out from the top of the ramp. “You ready?”

“On my way, Fireball!” Howzer throws a hand up. He turns and throws his arms around Crosshair. “Take care of yourself, please.” Crosshair tightens his grip.

“I will,” Crosshair tucks his face in Howzer’s neck and deeply inhales, hoping to savor as much of Howzer’s scent as possible before he leaves. “You have to take care of yourself as well. I’m serious; I’ll never fucking forgive you if you get hurt.” Howzer yelps out a startled laugh and jumps back.

“Easy!” Howzer jerks his head to where Omega is saying her goodbyes to Hunter. “There’s little ears.” He cups Crosshair’s belly and bends down. “Even littler ears here. Hope you didn’t hear that, ik’aad.”

“They can’t hear until twenty-two weeks according to the journal,” Crosshair replies. Howzer smirks as he unfolds back to his height.

“You really like that thing huh?”

“Course I do, alor’ad,” Crosshair answers. He smirks. “Someone special gifted it to me.” Howzer’s playful expression morphs into a much softer one. One corner of his lips lifts as his eyebrows relax. He reaches out for Crosshair again, but Omega barrels into him, cutting him off.

“Bye, Howzer!” She says. “I’ll miss you!” Howzer pats her shoulder.

“I’ll miss you too, kid,” he leans down to whisper obviously in her ear. “Take care of Crosshair and Beskar’ika.” Omega steps back from their embrace and salutes him. Howzer chuckles and ruffles her hair. Crosshair internally moans; Howzer already knows how nitpicky and fussy she is around him, and she’s only gotten worse now that there’s a bump.

“See ya Howzer!” Wrecker pulls the man into his arms and lifts. Based on the way Howzer’s eyes pop, Wrecker must be squeezing hard. “Come back safely!” Unable to speak due to his lungs being deflated, Howzer furiously nods. He stumbles just a bit when put down, but Echo clasps his arm in his.

“Take care, vod,” Echo nods, his face serious. Howzer, just as serious, nods back.

It’s something Crosshair’s noticed between the two. Something there that’s unspoken, but they’re able to communicate through just looks and nods. He chalks it down to a reg thing.

“Goodbye Howzer,” Tech says, not offering his hand or arm. “I can assure you Crosshair will be taken care of in your absence.” Crosshair’s face burns brighter than the suns of Tatooine, yet Howzer’s face never changes.

“I know,” he turns to Hunter. “Ready vod?”

“Yeah,” Hunter answers, throwing on his pack. He walks over to Crosshair and brings him in for a keldabe. “I’ll bring him back to you, Cross’ika,” he whispers. Unable to think of a good response, Crosshair grips the back of Hunter’s neck. His ori’vod breaks their keldabe and bends down to cup his bump. “Bye-bye, ik’aad. Behave yourself.”

“With Cross’ika as a mother? Fat chance,” Echo jokes. Everyone gets a good giggle out of it, and Crosshair holds back a rude gesture since he’s in Omega’s presence.

Hunter begins trudging up the ramp and turns around once more.

“No funny business while I’m gone,” he points specifically to Tech and Omega. “Echo tells me everything.” Crosshair snorts at the offended expressions his twin and little sister make. A hand grabs his own and squeezes.

“Goodbye, mesh’la,” Howzer kisses his cheek. “I’ll return to you.” Crosshair bites his lip so Howzer can’t see it wobble. Howzer kisses in between his eyebrows then turns to follow Hunter on the ramp. Anxiety burns in his gut at the image of Howzer leaving. Mayday’s corpse lying on the ground flashes in his eyes. As the ramp begins to rise, Crosshair gasps out.

“Howzer!” The man in questions spins around with a confused look on his face. The ship starts to rise. “I…” He still can’t get it out. “I care for you, me’suum’ika!” Howzer smirks and blows him a kiss.

As the shuttle ascends into Naboo’s atmosphere, Crosshair’s eyes never leave it. He watches as it rises then flashes into hyperspace. The ship is gone, with Howzer in it, but Crosshair’s gaze is fixed on the blue above him, willing it to hurry up and come back. Terrifyingly, Crosshair wonders how badly he fucked up not saying “I love you” back. Howzer told him to take his time, but…

What if his time was running out?

Omega wraps her arms around his waist and lays her head on his bump. He throws an arm around her and pulls her close. She’s always been kind, too kind, and empathetic. To everyone she meets, but especially to Crosshair. Despite his rough, prickly exterior, she always goes out of her way to comfort him.

“He’ll be back Crosshair,” Omega assures him. His eyes remain fixed above him as he runs a hand through her hair.

“Thank you, Om’ika,” he feels her grin wide against his belly. There quiet again for just a minute more until Omega asks him,

“When did you and Howzer start kissing?”

Crosshair dips his brush into the white paint and adds more to the Barton IV he’s working on. His tongue pokes out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrates. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Omega with her tongue out as well. He twists his wrist to create a swirl, replicating the clouds on the icy planet. Crosshair takes a step back and observes his work. He adds a touch of dark blue and a swipe of gray before he decides it’s perfect.

Two quick, tiny kicks make him smile and rub his swell lovingly.

“What’d you think ik’aad?” Crosshair asks the baby stretching around inside him. Another fluttering sensation answers his question. He caresses his bump again. “I thought so as well.”

“That does look good Crosshair,” Omega comments, leaning away from where she’s painting a Kamino. She points to the dark blue container of paint. “Are you done with that?”

“Here,” he passes it to her. Crosshair writes Barton IV under the planet.

It took some meticulous planning, but Crosshair and his vode are painting the accent wall in Beskar’ika’s nursery. It took a day for the black to dry, so he went in with a lead pencil and made thin circles where he thought would look best. So far, everything looks great.

“Hey, Cross?” Wrecker calls out. “How does my Kashyyyk look?”

“Look good,” Crosshair says. “I don’t expect perfection, just good enough that it looks like the planet.” Crosshair washes his brush in the cup, then picks up the light green to begin painting Alderaan.

“Not expecting perfection?” Echo asks in surprise. “Pregnancy must have mellowed you out, Cross’ika.” Echo smirks as he finishes his touches on Mandalore.

“I’ve had to do some heavy thinking lately,” Crosshair glares. “I may have realized perfection is unattainable.”

“Hm,” Tech hums, unhappily. “I can tell. It is not too late to redo the planets. I can place them in the correct locations based on where they actually are.”

“It’s fine, Tech,” Crosshair says, exasperated. “This is a baby’s nursery, not a school project.” Tech huffs and continues painting Chandrila. Crosshair rolls his eyes and shakes his head as he returns to Alderaan. “I was thinking of putting the crib there,” he points to the corner farthest from the door and across the closet. “I’ll have it facing the door, against the accent wall. For above the crib I thought…I thought about putting the embroidery of Mayday’s helmet there.”

Crosshair keeps staring at where he plans to place the baby’s bed. He feels his siblings' eyes on him, filled with pity, sympathy, and worry. He ignores their stares as he mentally imagines where the rocker and changing table should go. A hand slipping into his jars him out of his thoughts. Omega looks up at him with an encouraging smile.

“I think that sounds good, Crosshair,” she grins. She then drops her smile and quirks her lips to one side. “What color furniture are you getting?”

“I think gray would look best,” Crosshair says. He groans and looks at his brothers. “Is this room going to be drab?”

“You can add little pops of color!” Wrecker suggests. “Like curtains, decorations, and toys and stuff.” Crosshair thoughtfully hums. They finished up the rest of his house the other day. Crosshair is proud of it. It has three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a little kitchen that connects to a living room, an office he can use to work from home, and a front porch. He’s excited to finally have a permanent residence for him and his baby. And Howzer-for whenever he visits.

Soon after he officially moved in, Munti and Sidnala showed up with housewarming gifts. Crosshair was presented with a basket filled with slippers, mugs, towels, and several other little gifts. Munti also brought him a loom.

“When we took leave after we adopted Rassa, I nearly went insane not having anything to do with my hands,” Munti had laughed. “Someone told me you like working with your hands as well.” Crosshair had sent a glare to his vode. They all wore looks of guilt, but none of them fessed up as to who said that.

“I could make a blanket with the loom,” Crosshair thinks aloud. “Weave with colors resembling a nebula. Purple, pink, orange, red, yellow…”

“Oh! I saw a lamp shaped like a star while on the net earlier!” Omega lays down her brush on the drop cloth and runs out the room. “Let me go get it!” Echo waist until he footsteps quiet before talking.

“She’s been extremely excited about getting her vodu’ad something,” Echo smiles as he washes his brush. “At first she wanted to get them a giant nexu plush. I was able to talk her out of it, but I’m letting you know so you can find something for her to get.”

“I’ll be on the lookout,” Crosshair replies.

“You could always create a baby registry,” Tech supplies as he cleans some paint splatters from his goggles. “I would definitely suggest one as your baby shower is in two weeks.” Crosshair whips his head to gawk at his twin.

“What?” Tech huffs and rolls his eyes.

“A baby shower is a party centered on gift-giving to celebrate the delivery or expected birth of a child. They also serve as a rite of passage that celebrates through giving gifts and spending time together,” Tech rambles. He adjusts his goggles on his face. “Ironically, baby showers actually originated on Naboo. So scholars believe-”

“No I mean, what do you mean by my baby shower?” Crosshair clarifies, lips curled up in anger.

“Ah, Echo and I have correlated with one another, as well as a few neighbors, to plan you a baby shower.”

“Why?” Crosshair hisses. Tech shrugs.

“Is it not obvious?” He lifts an eyebrow. “You will receive gifts that benefit both you and the baby, it is a bonding opportunity for all of us, and we can order your favorite foods. Plus, it is a great way to form connections with neighbors.”

“Echo!” Crosshair whirls to face his oldest brother. “Why didn’t you say anything?” Echo holds his hands up in surrender.

“I think it might be fun, Cross’ika,” Echo tries to remedy. “We only have four people on the invite list so far. Munti and Sidnala, Cairre, the elderly lady we’ve been receiving our produce from, and Uchy from the veterans shelter.” Crosshair rubs his lips together.

“I don’t know those last two,” he scrunches his nose.

“That is the point of get togethers,” Tech interjects. “Getting to know people.”

“What if I don’t want to, dumbass?” Crosshair angrily snaps. He’s always been a private person, not wanting people to know his business and shying away from attention from large groups. Tech knows this, and he knows the last thing he’d want is strangers in his house!

“Well, we’re going to live here forever now, Cross,” Wrecker begins as he pats Crosshair’s shoulder. “Maybe we should get to know some people.” He offers his vod’ika a reassuring smile. “You’d like Cairre! She bakes the best cinnamon rolls, and she’s super sweet. Oh! She was also a sniper during her youth and traveled around a bit. She fought in the invasion of Naboo too.”

Crosshair hums in surprise, but he’s still not yet sold on the party idea. Beskar’ika kicks again, and he rubs where they move around. Whenever his baby snaps him out of his thinking, Crosshair likes to believe they’re trying to keep him from worrying.

“Think of it as Beskar’ika’s first party,” Wrecker smiles. Crosshair releases a deep sigh.

“Alright,” he says. “I’ve been convinced. I’ll make that registry.” Tech’s eyes brighten.

“Excellent,” he brings out his datapad and begins typing. “I have already taken the liberty of adding a few items I would definitely recommend. Swaddles, bottles, diapers, a breast pump-”

“Okay Tech,” Crosshair interrupts, covering his face at the idea of his brother gifting him a breast pump. “Thank you!” Tech opens his mouth to continue, but Crosshair’s comm dings, ending the conversation. He picks it up and answers. “Crosshair.”

Hey tranyc’ika, Howzer greets. How’re you doing?

“Good,” Crosshair replies, mouth forming a wide grin. “It’s been two days now. I thought you’d comm earlier.”

I know mesh’la, Howzer sighs. Things are a little more complicated here than we first thought. I’ll have to go dark for a few days at a time.

Crosshair’s face falls. He was hoping to talk with Howzer everyday. He understands, but it still disappoints him. Makes him feel lonelier and abandoned.

Don’t worry Crosshair, Howzer says. I plan to comm as much as I can, and everytime I do, I’ll talk your ear off. You’ll be sick of hearing me.

“I could never get sick of hearing you,” Crosshair coos. A snort and a chuckle remind him his nosey brothers are still in the room. He shoots them the vicious look he used on regs and trainers. They scramble out the room.

“Tell Howzer we said hi,” Echo says as he closes the door behind him. Howzer laughs on the other side of the comm.

Didn’t know we had company, Howzer chuckles. Sorry, mesh’la, I would’ve saved the mushy talk for when it was just us. I remember how uncomfortable you got under scrutiny.

Crosshair sighs dreamily. That’s another thing that makes Howzer perfect. He’s respectful and remembers details about him.

“It’s alright,” Crosshair replies. “They’re gone now…my house is finished.”

Yeah? Howzer asks. Do you like it?

“I do,” Crosshair answers. “It’s perfect. All that’s left to do is finish the nursery.”

Oooh, Howzer hums. How’s it looking?

“Right now?” A little bare,” Crosshair looks around the room. “We’ve got all the planets painted on, and I think I might take Omega with me to the nearby town for furniture.” Crosshair pauses as he feels a flutter inside him. “I’m going to put Mayday’s helmet where I mentioned. You know, so it can be like…he’s watching over them.”

That’s beautiful, Cross, Howzer responds, sincerely. I bet he’s already keeping watch.

Crosshair grunts as a lump suddenly forms in his throat. He brings his forefingers up to wipe away the tears beginning the leak from his eyes. His hormones have been wreaking havoc in him lately. Every little thing makes him cry lately. Omega shows him a cute video of some massiff puppies, crying. Wrecker eats the last cheese danish he was craving, crying. Tech finds an older photo of them as cadets with 99, crying.

Anytime he cries Beskar’ika kicks within him. This only makes him cry more as it seems his baby is reminding him everything will be okay and he’s no longer alone.

As if on cue, Crosshair feels a tiny kick.

“Yeah,” he whispers, not wanting his strained voice to be even more obvious. He clears his throat. “I was going to make a blanket. Add some color to this dark little room.”

Oh, that would be nice! Howzer agrees. Well, what else have you been up to, mesh’la?

They both lose time talking to each other. Crosshair tells him about his surprise baby shower and sensitive emotions. Howzer goes on and on about Hunter’s snoring and the shines nervously hovering around the famous Captain Rex. Hilariously, Howzer asks for an update on Coruscanti Housewives.

“The door bell rings, and Daone goes to answer it,” Crosshair is sitting on the stool he brought in during painting to rest on. “On the other side is…Luslik!”

What?! No! Howzer gasps in shock. Then what?

“He confesses his love for her, saying he loved her since high school, but she sends him home!” Crosshair feels himself getting riled up thinking about what transpired on last night’s episode. “She said she’s not going to cheat on her husband.”

Shon has been cheating on her since before their marriage! Howzer growls, frustrated. She knows this! Oh my…gods.

“I know, but that’s not the end of the episode,” Crosshair shuffles closer to the comm, like he and Howzer are on the couch together and he needs to get closer to spill some gossip. “Shon meets up with Itra at his office and guess what she has…a positive pregnancy test!” Howzer gasps loudly.

No way! There’s a noise on the other side that suggests he’s covering his mouth in shock. Then what?

“That’s how the episode ended,” Crosshair says. Howzer groans, making Crosshair laugh at his dramatics. “It’s addicting right? I knew you couldn’t resist.” A knock on the door makes him turn away from the comm. Tech pokes his head in.

“Wrecker has made pizza for dinner,” he says. “He made two actually. One for us, and a large one with pepperonis for you.” Crosshair frowns in confusion.

“Dinner?” He asks. “It’s only-” He stops as he sees the sun setting outside the window. “Oh…I’ll be right there.” Once Tech closes the door again, Crosshair brings the comm to his lips. “We’ve been talking for hours.

Osik we have, Howzer chuckles. Time flies when you’re having fun. I feel like we’ve talked for longer before.

“Probably,” Crosshair shrugs. A shy blush pinks his cheeks. “I’ve missed you.”

I’ve missed you more, trancy’ika, Howzer replies. Send pictures and videos of the nursery when it’s finished, I’ll respond when I can.

“I will, me’suum’ika,” Crosshair says. “Goodbye, alor’ad.”

Goodbye, ner tranyc’ika, Howzer ends their comm.

Crosshair meets his siblings in the kitchen, all of them eating and talking about their comm from Hunter. There’s a little teasing around him and Howzer, but Crosshair’s too focused on devouring his greasy pizza to care. Beskar’ika likes it as well as they flutter for more after each piece.

The next day, they venture out to the town nearby for furniture and yarn. Between Echo, Tech, and Wrecker, it takes them nearly an hour, and lots of cursing, to assemble each piece. When they’re done, Crosshair can’t stop grinning. It’s not complete, it still needs clothes, toys, and little decorations, but he loves it. Omega’s star lamp goes on the wall next to the rocker to cast a soft glow down on it.

Crosshair sends multiple pictures and videos to Howzer. He knows it might be a while before he gets a response, but that’s okay. When Crosshair does receive a response, it warms his insides and makes him blush.

It’s adorable, mesh’la. Beskar’ika’s lucky to have such a creative, attentive mother.

“I’ve finally got my name list narrowed down,” Crosshair says into the comm. He flips to the baby name page in his pregnancy journal and sits it in his lap as he wiggles to get more comfortable against the multiple pillows on his bed. He releases a sigh as he finally relaxes. “I have three boys' names and three girl's names.” Howzer chuckles.

That’s still six names, mesh’la, he teases. You’ll have to narrow it down to one, maybe two.

“Oh shut up!” Crosshair rolls his eyes as he grumbles. He smiles through his complaining. “It’s important I pick a good, strong name for Beskar’ika. None of us were born with names…This is a big deal. Names are major in people’s identities, and I want my baby to always be sure of who they are.” There is a pause on the other side of the comm. Crosshair waits for a response.

You’re going to be a great buir, Howzer sighs. You’re already doing great. So fierce.

Crosshair gently bats away the tears threatening to spill down his face.

“Thank you, me’suum’ika,” he says. “I love them so much even now.” He feels a kick inside him. Crosshair smirks as he imagines his baby saying, “I love you too” in their own way.

Let’s hear those names, tranyc’ika, Howzer says. Perhaps you can bounce them off me to narrow them down a bit.

Crosshair smiles as he traces over the names he’s written down.

“I’ve decided not to go with May,” Crosshair begins. “Beskar’ika is their own person. I don’t want them to grow up thinking they need to replicate their father in any way. We’ll find other ways to honor Mayday.”

That’s not a bad thought, Howzer hums. Cham was named after his grandfather and often complained of how he felt his parents expected more from him, like they wanted the grandfather rather than him. Howzer hums in consideration once more. You wouldn’t do that, but I’ve heard that instances like that happen regularly on Ryloth.

“I want my ik’aad to be their own person,” Crosshair says. They roll inside him, making him hum in suprise, and he begins with the boy names. “For a boy I have Helios which means sun, Caius meaning rejoice, and Isidore means gift.”

I like them, Howzer comments. They're strong, unique, and meaningful. For the girl names?

“Atalanta,” Crosshair begins. “Means huntress. Inanna means most beloved. For the last one, Pasithea…for the Mandalorian goddess of snow.” There’s a flutter in his belly as Beskar’ika stretches out. “They moved, I think they like the name Pasithea.” Howzer laughs.

I have to agree with them, Crosshair can hear the smile in his voice. It’s a very charming name, lyrical, and if I remember correctly, Pasithea is renowned as the most beautiful goddess. Howzer pauses to chuckle. Though with you as a mother, there’s not doubt your daughter will be adorable.

“Stop…” Crosshair trails off as he covers the blush consuming his face with the back of his hand. “Beskar’ika might be a boy.” There’s another flutter in his tummy. “Help me with the boy names. I can’t decide; I like them all.”

Well… Howzer begins. Which one do you like the least? Like, which one could you not imagine saying everyday.

Crosshair mutes the comm and tastes the names on his tongue. He sings them and coos them out loud.

“Let’s scratch out Isidore,” Crosshair says. “I think…I’m going with Caius. I contemplated killing myself after my rescue from Tantiss.” Crosshair stops after the quick intake of breath from Howzer. When I learned I was pregnant, Beskar’ika filled me with a new joy.” He hears Howzer sigh.

That’s… There is a beat of silence. That’s very personal, Crosshair. It’s sweet.

“So, Caius and Pasithea,” Crosshair says. “Those are the names.”

Prefect, Howzer replies. In the distance, Crosshair can hear what sounds like a summoning bell on Howzer’s end. Ah. I’m needed on the brig.

“Damn,” Crosshair sighs. “I wish we had more time.”

I’ll be back soon, Howzer offers. Then we’ll have all the time in the galaxy to talk. Crosshair’s heart squeezes at Howzer’s words. He wonders if Howzer knows how deeply his words affect him.

“Okay,” he answers, his voice small and sad. “Goodbye, me’suum’ika. Comm when you can.”

I will ner tranyc’ika, Howzer replies. Whenever I can. Tell Beskar’ika to take care!

“I will,” Crosshair says, grinning. As if they heard him, his baby wiggles in the womb. “They said they will.” Howzer lets out a belly laugh. The summoning bell rings again.

I really have to go! Howzer sounds like he’s beginning to move. Bye, Cross! I love you!

Howzer disconnects the call before Crosshair can respond. Emotions start swirling in his gut, or maybe Beskar’ika is awake now. While Crosshair feels elation and longing when Howzer tells him that, he also feels sorrow and dread. Admitting his feelings is a risk. He cares for Howzer, but he’s hesitant to take that step.

He loved once before, said it once, and his lover died in his arms.

Perhaps if he remains partially distant, Crosshair can avoid losing someone he loves again.

“Uchy is used to cooking for dozens of people at a time,” Crosshair explains. “So…we have enough mini bundt cakes to last us until Beskar’ika makes their grand entrance.” Howzer laughs.

Well, what did you guys do? He asks. You mentioned games the other rotation. What kind of games did you play? Crosshair groans as he recalls the games.

“It’s embarrassing…” he moans. “Don’t make me.”

If you don’t tell me, I’ll ask your brothers for pictures, Howzer chuckles.

“You asshole!” Crosshair laughs. He sighs. “For the first game, my bump was measured and everyone guessed the measurements.” He smiles as he recalls the game. “My bump is 24 centimeters, and you won’t believe it, but Tech won.”

Of course he did, Howzer sighs. Crosshair can picture him shaking his head. Have you gotten any bigger?

“I have,” Crosshair confirms. “It pops out more than it did last time you saw me.”

Three weeks ago.

Howzer hums. “What else did you play?”

“Cairre made bingo cards,” Crosshair begins, tenderly caressing his swell as Beskar’ika rolls around. “While I opened gifts, they played bingo with what I received.” Crosshair bites his lips as he laughs at the image of Omega jumping up in victory. “Omega won.”

Good! Howzer cheers. What all did you and ik’aad get?

“Would you like to see?” Crosshair stands from the rocker and goes to the pile of gifts next to the door. “Can you holo?” Crosshair waits with bated breath, hoping the answer is yes.

I can, Howzer answers. Seconds later, Crosshair’s handheld holoprojector, sitting on the changing table, comes alive, revealing Howzer’s upper body and face. He releases a sigh of relief he didn’t even know he had been holding at the sight of Howzer. Crosshair brings the projector close to his face, so he can study him. There are bags under his eyes that weren’t there before, and there is a stressed little pinch in between his brows. Crosshair doesn’t miss the way Howzer’s face immediately softens when he sees him.

“Oh, alor’ad,” Crosshair coos. “How are you?” Howzer sighs and closes his eyes.

I’m okay, mesh’la, he answers. Just…tired.

“I wish I could be there with you,” Crosshair says.

I know, Howzer sighs. I wish you could too. They stare at each other, their eyes expressing what their words cannot. A smile snaps onto Howzer’s face. Now, show me your gifts.

Crosshair begins with the necessities he received. Sidnala gifted him a diaper cake with burp cloths, bottles, and some pacifiers. Despite the embarrassment, Crosshair also shows Howzer the breast pump Tech bought for him.

“Now…” Crosshair trails off, picking up the bag filled with the more cute gifts. “For the good stuff.”

Omega still got him the big nexu stuffie that he plans to sit next to the rocker. Echo gave him swaddles with stars, moons, and suns printed on them. Wrecker gifted him a mobile with soft, brown tookas. Ciarre gave him a baby bath with body wash, lotion, and soft washcloths for his baby. Munti got him pastel soft blocks. Uchy gifted him a sleep sack swaddle. Of course, each person also got him mutiple onesies and jumpers.

“It’s not in the nursery,” Crosshair begins with a grin. “But Tech got a baby seat for the Marauder.” He shakes his head fondly. “That’s not all he got for us; he made the rest of the gifts he gave me. Tech’s always been crafty. Beskar’ika got a baby monitor, white noise machine, and a music player.” Crosshair holds up each item as he talks. “He programmed it to play some of my favorite songs.”

Ik’aad got a lot, Howzer says, amused. What’s left for me to get them?

“Well, I still need a bassinet,” Crosshair shrugs. “I want one to put in my bedroom for the first few months.”

Bassinet it is then, Howzer nods. How’s the blanket coming along?

“Great,” Crosshair replies. He leaves the nursery and enters his office where he keeps the loom. He holds it on his arm and turns the projector so Howzer can see it properly. “I should be done in a week or so.” Blankets can take months to create on a loom, but Crosshair has been worried for Howzer. Working with his hands always kept him grounded, so when he’s not eating, walking, or resting, he’s on his loom.

Ooh, Howzer coos. I love the colors.

“Thank you,” Crosshair grins.

I can see your bump; it's gotten bigger, Howzer says. You look…very pretty, tranyc’ika.

“Thank you,” Crosshair blushes a bit. Howzer tells him he’s beautiful, or pretty, or gorgeous almost everyday, but it still makes his heart beat faster. Crosshair feels Beskar’ika stretch out in their womb. “Beskar’ika says thank you as well. They’re awake now.” Howzer releases a deep, heavy sigh.

I hate I’m…not there for you.

Crosshair’s breathing stutters. He sits on the stool next to his loom and cups the holoprojector. He brings it up to his face.

“I’m okay,” Crosshair tells him. “You needed to do this for your brothers. I don’t think you would be very pleased with yourself if you didn’t go.”

I wouldn’t, Howzer admits. His eyes, which were lowered, flick up to meet Crosshair’s. I still miss you though.

“I miss you too,” Crosshair replies immediately. “We both do.” Howzer chuckles.

I’ll have to go soon, Howzer says. I’m helping Rex train some shinies. They follow us around like ducklings. Crosshair laughs out loud, hard enough that he feels his baby move with him.

“They’re impressed, alor’ad,” Crosshair shrugs. “Can you blame them? They’re in the presence of trong, noble Howzer.”

Stop, Howzer groans, blushing.

“It’s true.”

You’re too sweet, Howzer says. His smile drops for a second before he leans forward, sticking his forehead out. Goodbye, mesh’la. Crosshair bends to press his forehead to Howzer’s image, wishing more than anything he could physically feel him.

“Goodbye…I-” The lump in his throat stops him. “Be safe.”

I will, Howzer answers.

Crosshair sits on his stool, one hand rubbing his swell lovingly, trying to cajole his baby back to sleep, and the other holds the projector, willing it to come alive again.

Crosshair is sitting at his kitchen table, eating oatmeal with cinnamon and honey and staring at his pregnancy journal in deep thought, when his comm rings. He’s too wrapped up in his own thoughts to check to see who’s comming him. He answers it and gives a hum to indicate he’s listening.

Well hello to you too, mesh’la, Howzer’s voice rings over the comm. I wasn’t expecting such a lukewarm response. Crosshair drops his spoon in surprise as he brings the comm closer to his mouth.

“Sorry,” he apologizes. “I was busy.”

Oh, Howzer says. I can leave if you need to-

“No, no!” Crosshair shakes his head furiously. “I can talk; I was busy thinking. Distracted is all.”

With what, might I ask? Howzer inquires. Crosshair rubs his lips together in thought, wondering if opening his mouth and explaining what’s been on his mind will be an overreach in their friendship. Howzer loves him, and Crosshair…likes being with him. What they have together is nice. Crosshair doesn’t want to fuck it up by asking Howzer something.

But it’s for his baby, and Crosshair will do anything for his baby.

“There’s a little family tree section in my journal,” Crosshair begins. He takes a deep breath to steady himself. “I’ve already written down my name, Mayday, and my vode…I was wondering, if this isn’t too…foreward of me to ask this, but can I out your name down as well?”

The comm is quiet. Crosshair pulls it away from his face so Howzer can’t hear how quick his breathing has gotten. While he waits for a response, his finger traces over where he plans to add Howzer’s name.

Tranyc’ika…Howzer’s voice sounds strained and unsure. Are you sure?

“I’m sure,” Crosshair answers. “You care for me when I can’t care for myself, you got me my journal, you were there for us on Ord Mantell, you’ve made me snacks and gotten me gifts.” Crosshair pauses to take a shaky breath. “You were one of the first ones to hear their heartbeat and the first one to feel them kick…You’re a part of my ik’aad’s family. My family.”

Cross… Howzer’s voice is distinctively shakier than it was earlier. Crosshair’s heart drops. He’s overstepped, asked to much from his friend, and now he’ll lose him like he lost-

I’d be honored, Howzer answers. Shit, mesh’la. Howzer breaks off to choke out a sound that Crosshair recognizes as a mix between a laugh and a sob. Go for it; I’d love to be in your family tree.

“Good,” Crosshair sighs as he writes in Howzer’s name. “Beskar’ika would be disappointed if you would have said no.”

Ah, Howzer hums. Can’t do that. Crosshair smiles as he feels the baby roll within him.

“You know, Howzer,” Crosshair starts. “They really like you. Whenever you would hug me or rub my belly, they would kick and flutter around. They can hear more now at twenty-six weeks, and they respond whenever I talk, sing, or coo to them.” Crosshair softly smiles as he thinks about his baby. “I sing to them every night before bed. The only other person’s voice they really move around for is yours.”

Fuck, Crosshair, he can tell Howzer is actively crying now. I love you, I love them, I- oh fuck. Crosshair laughs despite the tears beginning to poke from the corners of his eyes.

“Watch it,” Crosshair slides his arm across his tummy and holds it. “There’s little ears here.” Howzer belly laughs.

Alright, alright, my bad, Howzer apologizes. Could I um…talk to them for a minute? Crosshair grins at how shy Howzer gets.

“Of course you can,” Crosshair scoots his chair back from the table and hikes his shirt up just a bit. He pokes around his stomach, trying to find where they are, and when Beskar’ika kicks, he lays the comm where he guesses their foot might be. “Go ahead. They are awake and listening.”

Su cuy’gar ik’aad! Howzer coos. I’ve missed you, but don’t fret, I’ll be back for you and your Mama soon! Crosshair feels himself flush at Howzer’s sweet words. I’ve been looking for a bassinet for you, what color do you like?

“Purple,” Crosshair answers. In truth, it’s a color he likes and thinks will go well with the decor in his room.

Purple it is then, Howzer sighs. He gulps and takes a shaky inhale. We’ll be arriving on Kowak tomorrow. I’ll have to go dark for…not sure. A while though. There is another shaky intake of breath. Before I have to go dark, I want you to know one more time, and you don’t have to say it back…I love you.

“Howzer, I…” Crosshair pauses. “I care for you.”

I know you do, mesh’la. Crosshair can’t see him smiling, but he can hear it. Howzer is so devoted to him and his baby, and it only makes him a bit sadder he can’t return four simple words.

“I wish I could-” Crosshair chokes on his own voice.

No, Howzer says, gently. You never have to love me if you don’t, tranyc’ika, there’s no obligation. If you do, you take all the time you need. I’ll be here whenever you’re ready.

“Thank you,” Crosshair whispers. He clears his throat and sighs. “Be safe, don’t fight with honor, fight to come home. To me…I’ve done some soul searching while you’ve been gone, and maybe…when you get back…please, come back, me’suum’ika.”

I will, Howzer solemnly says.

The comm goes dead.

“It’s soft,” Omega observes as she runs her hands down the finished blanket. “The colors look really nice together as well.” Omega bites her lip and shyly looks up at Crosshair through her lashes. “I didn’t think the colors would look this nice together.” Crosshair chuckles at her honesty.

“Well, you said it looks good now,” he shrugs. “That’s all that matters.”

“Could you make me one sometime?” Omega asks. “Or since you’ll be busy with the baby maybe..you could teach me?” Crosshair smiles and runs a hand through her hair.

“Maybe,” he says. “We’ll see, Om’ika.”

“Thank you!” Omega throws her arms around his waist. She can no longer fit them fully around him with his belly in the way, but she never seems to mind. Omega lays her head on his stomach, and Crosshair can feel her grin. Her hand comes up to rub his swell. Beskar’ika kicks where her cheek is. “I love when they do that.” She leans her head back to look up at Crosshair. “Do you think I’m their favorite?” He rolls his eyes.

“What is up with you all and being the favorite?” Crosshair asks. “Can my baby not just like you all?”

“No!” Omega laughs, causing Beskar’ika to jolt in surprise.

“My ik’aad does have a favorite,” Crosshair confirms. He bends to whisper in her ear. “It’s me.” Omega rolls her eyes and groans.

“Could you just say I’m their favorite?” She whines. Crosshair ruffles her hair as she steps back.

“No,” he says. “I find it entertaining to watch you all squabble.” Omega groans again. “Stop that whining,” Crosshair playfully pinches her nose. “You said you wanted to help me make tiingilar, yeah?” She nods, eager to learn something new. “Let’s go then.” He gently pushes her out of the nursery and towards the kitchen.

Crosshair pulls out the cutting board and a knife to place on the counter in front of Omega. He retrieves a yellow onion, red apple, and purple potato from the fridge.

“Start chopping these,” he instructs her. “Try to make each piece about this big.” He holds his forefinger and thumb close to indicate the size. Omega nods and begins slowly chopping the onion. A smirk grows on his face when her tongue pokes out in concentration. Once it looks like she’s got the hang of it, Crosshair leaves her to begin prepping the chicken and making the broth.

“So,” Crosshair begins as he cleans off the chicken thighs. “Are you liking your new school?” By the way his little sister’s face lights up, he can guess the answer.

Crosshair lets Omega talk his ear off as they cook. While the stew sits on the stove, he makes them both turmeric tea to sip on. They sit together on the swing Wrecker put on his front porch. As Omega blabbers on about her new friends, Crosshair rocks swings them back and forth. He feels relaxed, happy, and based on the big stretch Beskar’ika does, they are as well.

“Mirle has double piercings!” Omega says. “I don’t even have one piercing in my ear. I asked Hunter if I could get them pierced when he commed the other night, and he said maybe, but his maybe-”

“Means no,” they both finish. Crosshair pulls her to his side.

“Don’t worry about it,” he says. “He never liked my piercings either.”

“You have piercings?” Omega asks.

“Had,” Crosshair clarifies. “I had double piercings in both ears, a helix, an industrial piercing, and one on my belly button.” He also had nipple piercings and one on his clitoral hood, but he doesn’t think Omega needs to know that. “They were removed sometime while I was with the Empire. The first piercing I got was my belly button. Hunter told me he thought they were trashy, so of course I had to get one.” Omega gasps.

“You did?” She asks, covering her grin with her mouth. “What’d he say?”

Crosshair launches into the story of their first leave on Coruscant, and he walked in on some Twi’leks in the bathroom of some club piercing their belly buttons. Throughout the story, Omega keeps her eyes on him as she gasps and giggles. Her eyes dart away and something else catches her attention.

“Echo’s coming,” she observes. She frowns in confusion. “Why’s he running?” She whips to Crosshair, fear consuming her features. “Is it Hunter?”

“No,” Crosshair says, frowning as well. “He would just comm.”

“Cross!” Echo yells as he runs up the dirt path leading to the house. “It’s Howzer!”

Crosshair’s stomach drops. He stands up fast, so fast he stumbles and barely catches himself against the swing. His cup shatters on the porch. Omega and Echo kneel down to help him up.

“He’s dead…” Crosshair whispers.

“No, not dead, no,” Echo shakes his head. “He’s been injured, critically.” Echo helps him up and lets him lean against him. “Tech’s firing up the Marauder; we’re going to the Shepherd.”

Crosshair nods, but his mind is racing and his ears are ringing. Echo moves him in the house and helps him get his shoes on while Omega turns the stove off and packs a bag. The Marauder lands, but Crosshair is too dazed. Echo and Wrecker help him on. After they jump into hyperspace, Tech walks in and kneels in front of Crosshair and places his hand on his knee in comfort.

“Howzer was shot in the back while they were leaving Kowak,” Tech explains. “They are working on him now on the shuttle. We will meet him and Hunter on the Shepherd.” Crosshair nods, lifelessly staring out at the stars flying past at lightspeed.

Howzer told him to take his time, but it seems Howzer might not have much time left.

The hours are a blur for Crosshair. He sits, motionless and silent, in the crash seat Wrecker placed him in. At some point, Omega sits in his lap and curls up. She whispers to him, but he can’t register what it is. He knows it's supportive though, so he pats her back.

Echo gently guides him to lay in a bunk and tells him to rest. Crosshair’s ori’vod cards his fingers through his hair. When he begins to pull back, Crosshair snatches his wrist.

“Don’t leave me,” he begs. “Please.” Echo smiles down at him, sadly.

“Let me go get you some water and a protein bar,” Echo says. “I’ll be back.” Crosshair’s nose scrunches at the thought of eating one of Wrecker’s protein bars. Beskar’ika moves inside him, reminding him there’s another being he needs to care for.

He eats slowly and drinks his water even slower. Echo holds him close, occasionally kissing his temple or telling him everything will work out. When Crosshair finally finishes his meal, it’s late and he can hear Wrecker and Omega snoring. He lays down, remaining still as Echo curls against his back and pulls the covers over them. Sleeping on the small bunk is quite a contrast to how he’s been sleeping now; he has an eye mask, heating pad, extra blanket, and a pregnancy pillow to sooth his back ache.

He can’t find a reason to bitch about it since Howzer is infinitely in more discomfort than him right now.

“Echo,” he whispers.

“Yeah Cross’ika?” Echo responds.

“Howzer loves me,” he says, glad his back is to Echo.

“I know he does,” Echo replies.

“No,” Crosshair shakes his head. “He loves me. Like Mayday did. He told me.” Echo’s breathing stops in surprise for a second. “I couldn’t say it back.

“Oh, Cross’ika…”

“And he told me that it’s okay,” a lump begins forming in Crosshair’s throat. “He told me I didn’t have to, but if I did…I have time to say it.”

“Do…” Echo trails off and sits up on his elbow to look at Crosshair over his shoulder. “Do you love him, vod’ika?”

Crosshair covers his face with his hands and sobs. He bites his lip to try and stifle them to not wake anyone else. Echo caresses down his body and wipes away the tears.

“It’ll be okay,” Echo assures him. “You’ll get your chance to say it back.” Crosshair sobs. “I feel it.”

Echo moves Crosshair so they're facing each other and brings him to his chest. He shushes his cries as he brushes the hair away from his face.

“Try to get some sleep,” Echo suggests. “I’ll wake you when we arrive.” Crosshair closes his eyes and feels his emotional exhaustion catch up to him. As he drifts asleep, he prays to whoever in the galaxy is listening that he gets the chance to see Howzer again.

“Crosshair,” someone whispers, gently shaking his shoulder. Crosshair opens his eyes and sees the wall of the bunk. Slowly, with a bit of discomfort, he turns over and finds Omega staring up at him with her eyebrows pinched together. “We’re coming up on the Shepherd.” He swings his legs to exit the bunk.

“Help me, please,” Crosshair requests. “I can’t move around like I used to.” He gives her a self-deprecating smile, perhaps to reassure her. “Not as nimble as I usually am.”

Omega smiles back at him, more sad and nervous than anything. She tries to lead him to the cockpit, but he bypasses her and stands in front of the ramp, ready to run out as soon as it opens. He braces himself on the wall when the ship rumbles as the landing gears activate. The Marauder shudders and lands.

Crosshair is trying to jump off the ship once the ramp lowers enough for him to slip through. Wrecker prevents his plan, wrapping his arms around his waist and lifting him off his feet.

“Careful, Cross!” Wrecker pleads. “Tech says you shouldn’t exert yourself!”

“Fucking let me go!” Crosshair hisses, wiggling and squirming to escape his brother’s grasp. “I’m trying to get to the medbay!”

“They have not arrived yet,” Tech says, calmly coming to stand beside them. “I understand you are nervous, but there is no need to be so hasty. Hunter has updated me on Howzer’s condition.” Crosshair stops and whips his head to glare at his twin.

“What?” Tech adjusts his goggles before speaking.

“He is currently stable and under painkillers. However, he requires better care by more professional hands,” Tech says. He lays his hand on Crosshair’s shoulder and squeezes, a rare display of affection for him. “I will be attending the surgery along with the medics. I believe he shall make a full recovery.” Crosshair purses his lips. Tech is smart and capable; he’s sure of himself, and he’s never been wrong.

“Alright,” Crosshair nods. He cranes his neck back and forth, taking in bustle the hanger bay. Clones moving about, preparing for the ship and astromechs rolling in with tool kits and fuel. “I’ll wait here.”

“Cross’ika,” Echo grabs his elbow and pulls him towards the door. “You should rest. Get a hot meal and take a shower. My quarters are still free for use…” Echo pulls him again. “You’ll sleep better in a real bed.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Crosshair jerks his arm out of Echo’s hand and sneers at him. “I’m staying here until Howzer arrives.” Echo frowns. Crosshair sighs. It’s not Echo’s “I’m angry” frown, it’s his “You’re not listening to me” frown. However, Echo’s frown is useless, it never worked on Crosshair. He was always the most stubborn.

“Crosshair, you’re not thinking rationally,” Echo begins. “You need to-”

“Crosshair should be fine here,” Tech interrupts. “Omega,” he turns to address the young girl where she stands, anxiously rubbing her hands together. “Go fetch some pillows for Crosshair. Wrecker, if you will find something for Crosshair to lay on, then he can rest here.” Tech looks Echo in the eye. “I will be preparing the med bay and require assistance. Echo if you will accompany me.”

Echo cuts his eyes at Crosshair once more. He deeply sighs and looks at Wrecker and Omega.

“Don’t let him expend himself,” he orders them, pointing at them with a stern look.

“Yes sir,” Wrecker and Omega both echo back at him. Crosshair rolls his eyes. To think there was a time where Crosshair was the mother hen.

He doesn’t watch as Echo and Tech leave, doesn’t say anything when Omega arranges the pillows for him, and doesn’t react when Wrecker helps lower him into his plush throne. Crosshair has his eyes locked on the vast, black space in front of him, waiting for Howzer to come back to him.

His siblings sit on either side of him. Wrecker obviously doesn't know what to do and awkwardly fiddles with his hands. Crosshair bites his inner cheek and picks away at his cuticles. Omega slinks her hand over and locks their fingers together.

“Tech told me you once used Hunter’s knife to apply eyeliner,” she begins. She buries herself closer to his side. “Why did you do that?”

“He pissed me off,” Crosshair answers, not pulling his eyes away from the ray shield protecting them from the cold, unforgiving darkness of space.

“Oh yeah!” Wrecker laughs. “I remember that! Hunter bitched and cried cause he couldn’t get the makeup off!” Wrecker throws his head back as he cackles. “I love hearing this story. Go on, Cross, tell it!”

“Please, please!” Omega begs, tugging his arm insistently. Crosshair sighs and rolls his eyes to the back of his head.

“It was during the war,” Crosshair begins. Wrecker and Omega scoot around so they can partially face him. “Everyone knows not to use my star cherry shampoo, and Hunter never washes his hair, so I don’t know why he thought to use my shampoo.” Wrecker giggles in anticipation, knowing what happens next. “He didn’t just use it; he used the last of it. We were in the Outer Rim without any way to get more.” A smirk finds its way to Crosshair’s face. “I waited until Hunter was away…”

While Crosshair tells the story of how Hunter whined when he walked in on Crosshair using his precious knife to create a perfect wing, he keeps watch for the shuttle. Wrecker keeps the conversation going. He keeps saying, “remember that time when” or “tell Omega about”. Crosshair is still worried, but it melts away as he continues talking with his siblings.

A shuttle appears out of hyperspace, and Crosshair shoots up to his feet. He feels Wrecker grab his wrist to prevent him from sprinting to meet the shuttle. Crosshair would laugh, he’s in no condition to run like he usually can, but he’s too focused on the ramp descending.

Oddly, a lurca hound runs out first, yipping and circling Crosshair’s feet. Hunter follows after and kneels down to take Omega in his arms. Crosshair doesn’t pay attention to what's going on around him. All he sees is Howzer, laying still and pale on the hover stretcher. Crosshair rips away from his strongest brother and finds it in him to run to clasp the stretcher.

“Howzer!” He yells, moving quickly alongside it as Rex and some reg push him. “Me’suum’ika, can you hear me?”

Howzer’s eyes flutter open, and his pupils slowly slink over to look at Crosshair. Recognition flickers in his eyes.

“Mesh’la,” he whispers. A shaky hand comes up to cup his cheek.

“I’m here,” Crosshair answers, gripping the hand on his cheek. “I’m here, alor’ad.” Howzer blinks twice.

“Your brother got a dog,” he says. His hand slips from where it lays. Crosshair brings his hands to cup both of Howzer’s face. His eyes flick open again as he stares.

“I love you,” Crosshair says, steadfast and sure for the first time since Tantiss. “I love you, Howzer. I don’t need any more time; I only need you.” Howzer nods and hums.

“I love you too tranyc’ika…your brother got a dog.” Crosshair can’t help the laugh that bubbles from him, nor the tears that begin pouring down his face.

“Crosshair,” Rex says. “We need to get him in.” Crosshair looks up and sees they’ve arrived at the medbay. He looks down at Howzer again and presses a kiss to each cheek, right on his scars.

“I’ll be here,” he promises. “I’m ready now.” Howzer stares up at him, his eyes dulled by the painkillers he’s been given.

“Your brother got a dog,” he repeats as he falls unconscious. Crosshair lets go and steps back, watching as Howzer disappears into the medbay.

“He’ll be okay, Crosshair,” Rex assures him. He looks around awkwardly. “How…are you feeling?”

“Fine,” Crosshair answers, his voice a little chipped. “Sorry,” he shakes his head. “A little stressed I guess.” Rex humorlessly chuckles.

“Let’s go to the mess,” Rex suggests, jerking his head. Crosshair looks at the medbay doors with longing. He sighs before looking back at Rex.

“Alright,” he nods. “I hope they have something good.”

“They usually do,” Rex smirks. He holds his arm out and lets Crosshair go first. Crosshair sends his prayers out to the galaxy once more to watch over Howzer.

Crosshair takes his meal to Echo’s berth to be alone for a while. He’s not by himself long as Omega barges in with the hound on her heels. The lurca trots over to where he’s sitting on his bed and sniffles his hand. Crosshair stands up and holds his plate high.

“Crosshair! “ Omega cheers. “What do you think of Batcher?”

“Whom?” He asks, raising his brow. He places his meal on the table, hoping the animal will leave him be. Alas, Batcher remains next to him, sniffing his legs.

“The hound!” Omega clarifies. “I named her Batcher.” Batcher happily woofs and licks one of Crosshair’s hands. “She likes you!”

“Hurray…” Crosshair groans. Batcher carefully sniffs his belly and licks it. Crosshair balls his hands into fists, preparing to shove the dog off should they try anything. Batcher nuzzles his stomach then leans against it. She woofs again, happily, then sits right on top of his feet, her face pressed right up on his tummy.

“She likes Beskar’ika too!” Omega squeals. She pulls out her datapad and takes multiple pictures. “That’s so cute!” Crosshair pats the hound’s leathery skin and scratches her nose. He hums.

“Dogs can tell when someone’s pregnant,” she comments. Crosshair looks at her skeptically and opens his mouth to ask how she knows that, but she rolls her eyes and answers. “I read it on the holonet; I’ve been trying to convince Hunter to get a dog, but he was worried they might hurt you.”

Batcher seems friendly. She swipes her paw up to pat his hand. Crosshair rolls his eyes and huffs, but he cups the dog’s face and pets her. Batcher’s little tail and bottom wiggling in excitement.

“Hunter’s letting you keep her?” Crosshair asks, gently pushing Batcher off him to sit at the table to continue eating. Batcher lays down, hand on her paws, facing the door. She scooches as close as she can, touching him. The hound doesn’t even try to beg for food.

“He is,” Omega confirms. “But she might like staying with you better.” Crosshair shakes his head as he chews his dinner.

“She can be our dog,” he suggests. “We live close enough to each other.”

“Batcher really likes you,” Omega kneels down next to the hound. Batcher rolls on her back so Omega can scratch her belly. Crosshair sighs in slight annoyance as the hound now practically lays against him. Omega laughs joyfully once the hound begins kicking her legs.

Crosshair listens as Omega talks to Batcher, explaining their family, their new home, and all the things they’re going to do together. He’s rather grateful for her jabbering. It’s keeping him distracted from thinking about Howzer in the medbay being worked on.

“And Crosshair is going to have a baby soon! I’ll be a ba’vodu, and we’ll get to play with them and love them!” Omega rambles to the hound. Batcher woofs as if she is responding to Omega. She hops up and looks at the door, growling viciously.

“It’s just me,” Hunter pokes his head in. Batcher woofs then returns to her previous position. Hunter looks ragged, more tired than Crosshair has seen in a while. “Hey vod’ika,” he bends down to press his forehead to Crosshair’s. His hand hovers at his belly, asking permission. Crosshair brings Hunter’s hand so he can feel his vodu’ad move around.

“I can hear them floating around in there,” Hunter smiles tenderly at Crosshair’s swell. “Well it’s more like the swishes of the amniotic fluid.”

“Thank you for the biology lesson,” Crosshair sarcastically drawls. Hunter shakes his head and stands.

“And here I was going to say I missed you,” he tutters, clucking his tongue. “I did though.” Hunter ruffles Omega’s hair from where she’s sitting next to Batcher. He offers his hand to Crosshair. “I came to get you; they’ve got Howzer in post-op.” Crosshair moves to jump to his feet, but Hunter catches him before he can and gently pulls him up by his forearms.

“How is he?” Crosshair asks, his mouth forming a worried little pout.

“He should be fine,” Hunter answers as he squeezes his elbows. “He hasn’t woken up yet. Do you wanna shower or sleep first?”

“No,” Crosshair replies, hardening his voice so Hunter knows he won’t be persuaded otherwise. “I’ll sit with him.”

“I thought so,” Hunter places his hand on Crosshair’s lower back. “I’ll walk you there.”

Seeing Howzer sleeping lying unconscious on the medbay bed makes Crosshair release a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He drags a chair next to the bed and sits. He takes Howzer’s hand in his own, rubbing his thumb across the back of it. Hunter stands at the end of the bed solemnly looking at his brother and Howzer.

“He’s a good man,” Hunter comments. Crosshair doesn’t look at his brother, too busy watching Howzer’s face, but hums to let him know he’s listening. “We’ve gotten to know each other during the mission…he cares for you, vod’ika.” Crosshair purses his lips and nods.

“I know…”

“He loves you,” Hunter clarifies. “He told me so, and I can tell he does.” Crosshair turns to look at Hunter.

“Are you telling me you gave him your blessing?” He jokes. Hunter huffs out a laugh.

“No, nothing like that. I’m just…letting you know,” Hunter says. “I’ll leave you be. Comm if you need anything.”

“Okay,” Crosshair whispers. He hears Hunter walk away, leaving him alone with the sleeping Howzer. Crosshair leans up in his seat to whisper in Howzer’s ear. “Wake up.” He squeezes Howzer’s hand. “I love you.” Howzer never moves, never twitches to show he’s listening. Crosshair sighs and presses his lips to Howzer’s temple. “Alright…wake when you’re ready. I’ll be here.”

Crosshair doesn’t keep track of how much time passes. He wishes he brought his datapad with him to continue reading through the infant care book he’s been reading. He’s cared for children before, cadets and infants, on Kamino, but he wants to be as prepared as possible for his baby. Instead he looks out the viewport, practicing what he’s going to say to Howzer when he wakes.

“Hm,” Howzer grunts, twitching.

“Howzer,” Crosshair whispers, standing up and running a hand through Howzer’s hair. “I’m here. It’s Crosshair, ner me’suum’ika.” Howzer’s eyes flutter open and he looks at Crosshair.

“...Mesh’la?”

“Hi,” Crosshair smiles sappily. “Hi, alor’ad. I missed you.” Tears begin forming in his eyes.

“Missed you too, tranyc’ika,” Howzer’s hand lifts up. Crosshair takes it in his hand and holds it to his chest.

“Do you…do you remember what I said before you went in for surgery?” Crosshair asks.

“You love me,” Howzer replies. He licks his lips and swallows. “You told me you loved me and I told you about that fucking dog your bother found.” Crosshair laughs out loud and softly cards his fingers through Howzer’s hair.

“You said it back,” he confirms. Crosshair drops his smile and cups Howzer’s face. The tears start falling down his face and splashing onto Howzer. He tenderly strokes his thumbs where they rest on Howzer’s face.

“I love you, Howzer,” Crosshair says. He bends down and slots his nose against Howzer’s; they rub together. They share their breath for a second then Crosshair tilts his head and presses his lips to Howzer’s.

He’s never kissed Howzer before, not even during their time on Ryloth, but Crosshair has kissed people before. Drunken kisses in bars, lustful ones while grinding against them in a club, and heated ones while he’s riding them. Kissing Howzer is entirely different. This kiss is slow, yet passionate and loving. He doesn’t want to pull away, but Howzer leans back.

Howzer’s eyes are half lidded, and his pupils dilated. His lips look no different than before, but Crosshair can swear he can see a certain glimmer to them. He grins at Howzer and laughs again. He throws his arms around him and kisses all over Howzer’s face. He kisses his eyelids, nose, cheeks, jaw, anywhere his mouth can reach. He’s still crying; his tears smear on Howzer’s face.

Crosshair pulls away. Howzer’s crying as well, sniffling as he looks at Crosshair. His eyes are full of adoration and romance. Crosshair doesn’t think anyone has ever looked at him with so much love.

“I love you, Crosshair,” Howzer says. His lips press against Crosshair’s again. He pulls back after a second and presses their foreheads together. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“You missed me too huh?” Howzer asks the baby. Crosshair stands next to the bed with Howzer scooted down to talk to the baby. His hand roams up and down Crosshair’s swollen belly, trying to find where they rest. “Mama told me you did.” Howzer smirks up at Crosshair.

“They did,” he nods. Crosshair pokes his stomach to gently wake them. He and Howzer both see their foot press near his belly button.

“There you are,” Howzer lovingly coos. He presses his lips to where the foot was. Wherever Beskar’ika kicks, Howzer kisses. “I missed you too, ik’aad. I never got your bassinet though.” Crosshair chuckles.

“You can find one on Naboo,” Crosshair says. “That is…if you plan on coming with me.” Howzer’s head whips up. He frowns.

“Of course I am,” he says. “I’ll never leave your side again.”

“I feel like you should know…” Crosshair begins. “I don’t want to fight anymore. I’m tired, and I’ve been fighting all my life.” He sighs. “I want a simple life now.”

“Okay,” Howzer nods.

“But if you want to continue fighting…I won’t stop you.” Howzer sits up. He winces.

“No,” he shakes his head. “I know I’ll be happiest with you.” Howzer brings a hand to rub Crosshair’s belly.

“Perfect,” Crosshair responds. He sits down in his chair. “I’m ready to get out of here.” Howzer chuckles.

“Me too,” he agrees. He takes Crosshair’s hand in his own and brings it to his lips to kiss it. “I’m excited to begin a new life with you, mesh’la.”

Crosshair couldn’t agree more.