Work Text:
Brit leaned against the chipped doorframe as she tapped lightly against the wooden door. 'Jill Tuck?' False sweetness lacing her words.
'Who's asking?' The blonde replied wearily as she glanced up from the papers stacked before her. Brit couldn't help but be appreciative of the other woman's beauty despite her messy blonde hair and obvious fatigue.
'I'm going to assume from that oh so subtle deflection that you are indeed Jill Tuck.' Brit declared making her way into the tiny office and closing the door behind her.
'And you are?' Jill's eyes sharpened as she took in the other woman, as if evaluating a potential threat. Watching carefully as the brunette perched herself on the battered desk Jill was working at.
'Brit Stevenson. I'm one of the women that had the utter misfortune of being kidnapped by your absolute tool of a husband.' Brit declared with a heavy dose of sarcasm as she offered her hand.
Jill ignored the outstretched hand as she merely rolled her eyes and huffed. 'Ex-husband.'
'It was so embarrassing, for him I mean. He kidnapped five of us and all of us escaped. Even Ashley.' The brunette scoffed before slinking closer to Jill as she showed off her hands with a flourish. 'See, not a single injury, even my nails managed to survive.'
Jill released a tired sigh. Closing the file in front of her as she accepted that her encounter with the brunette would not be ending anytime soon. 'So, what exactly is it you want? Money?'
'Excuse me? Do I look poor to you.' Brit gasped, frowning as she motioned to her all black skintight ensemble.
'Revenge?' Jill guessed.
'Oh please, revenge for what? The inconvenience of having to spend an evening locked in a room with Mallick and Luba.'
'What then?' Jill really needed to sit Jon down and have a serious discussion about his kidnapping habit, the clinic was becoming overrun with these people.
'Your husband inconvenienced me so I plan to return the favor.' Brit proudly declared.
'Ex-husband.' Jill added, struggling to focus as Brit shifted further onto the desk. Putting her cleavage fully into Jill's line of sight.
Brit continued, ignoring the correction. 'I heard that Kramer had a very attractive much younger wife and I thought that it might inconvenience him if I seduced her.'
'Ex-husband and no thank you.' Jill sputtered.
Brit whined in annoyance. 'But I'm very attractive.'
'I don't think you're supposed to tell the person you're trying to seduce that you're trying to seduce them. Or that you're only doing it to get back at their ex-husband.' Jill offered.
'I'm expediting the process.'
Jill crossed her arms as she leaned back in her chair 'Still no.' She insisted as she shook her head.
'Why not?'
Jill attempted to formulate a good enough reason for why it was such a bad idea but all her thoughts were leaning towards the opposite. Brit was attractive, Jill was single. And she was tired. So Tired and so lonely. And that was something Brit could help with, if only for the night.
Jill huffed as she gave in. 'Fine.'
Brit clapped her hands together as she awarded Jill with a genuine smile. 'Perfect! Your place or mine?'
'I'm still working.' Jill responded. Pointing to the stack of files on the desk before her.
'I'm really great in bed.' Brit offered with a devilish smirk.
After a long pause Jill finally gave in. 'Fine.'
'Your place it is.' Brit declared as she practically dragged the blonde out the door.
'You're still doing the wife? It's been months.' Simone exclaimed loudly. Drawing the attention of many in the small cafe that they occupied.
Brit rolled her eyes at Simone's overreaction before glaring at those still staring at their table. 'Ex-wife and yes. 11 months to be exact.'
'That's almost a year.' Addison remarked in awe.
'You have a way with numbers.' Simone snapped playfully.
'It comes with the job.' Addison offered.
'Yeah, I'm sure it's not the only thing that 'comes' with your job.' Simone laughed, accepting the hard jab to her side from Addison with a grin.
'You're whipped.' Lynn declared, finally moving her attention away from the phone in her left hand and the pager in her right.
Brit gasped. 'I am not, I'm just playing the long con.'
'What long con? Lifetime commitment?' Simone snickered. Dodging the balled up napkin thrown at her.
'Didn't Kramer give you his blessing?' Lynn challenged. Ignoring the incoming message on her phone in favor of Brit's dilemma. Brit could see a black 'J' flickering on the screen before the doctor quickly flipped the phone over.
Brit shuffled uncomfortably before conceding 'He did. He cried. It was very awkward.'
'And that was only a month into your relationship.' Addison added.
'But that doesn't mean we're serious, does it?'
'You live together.' Simone pointed out.
'So do you.' Brit argued, motioning between Addison and Simone.
Simone, Addison and Lynn shared a confused look before Addison decided to answer. 'Yeah, because we're married.' She reminded Brit, holding up both her and Simone's hands to show off their matching gold bands.
'Fair point.' Brit conceded with a sigh.
'You also basically adopted Amanda.' Lynn grinned at the thought of her feral best friend.
'In my defense, she has very poor judgement in regards to everything.' Brit couldn't help but take Amanda under her wing, the girl was a walking disaster.
Simone chuckled lightly 'She calls both you and Jill mom.'
'I guess.' Brit deflated even further. Any arguments she had were swiftly dismantled by her friends.
'And you're hopelessly in love with Jill.' Lynn reminded her.
'It's sickeningly adorable.' Addison added with a grin.
'I don't blame you, she's hot.' Simone admitted. Addison offered an enthusiastic nod in agreement.
'What do I do?' Brit asked, resigned to her fate of being in a loving and committed relationship.
'What do you want to do?' Lynn advised.
'You should propose.' Addison yelled excitedly. The stares returned to their table once again.
'Definitely.' Simone reassured in agreement.
Brit covered her eyes. 'Ugh, but I hate weddings.' She grumbled.
'Amanda, sit down.' Brit demanded as she pointed to the recliner seated opposite the sofa she and Jill were occupying. Jill sighed at the brunettes harsh tone and put a soothing hand on her thigh.
Jill attempted to relieve the distressed look on Amanda's face as she took a tentative seat on the edge of the recliner. 'Honey, you know we love you no matter what but Brit and I have been concerned in regards to some of your recent life choices.'
'Because they're bad.' Brit scoffed. Quickly quieting when Jill dug her nails into smooth skin.
'What Brit is trying to say is that sometimes we make rash decisions that are motivated by the heart and not the mind.' Jill explained. Amanda squinted in innocent confusion.
'And your heart makes stupid choices.' Brit snapped.
Amanda shuffled uncomfortably in her seat. 'I don't understand.'
Brit glared before rolling her eyes with a huff. 'Don't play dumb, I'll call Kramer in if I have to. You really want to spend the next 3 hours of your life listening to him whispering nonsensical advice at you?'
There was a long silence before Amanda finally conceded with a mumbled 'No.'
'Look sweetheart, we aren't angry, we're just disappointed.' Jill reassured. Moving over to sit on the arm of Amanda's recliner, putting a comforting arm around the brunette as she did so.
'A cop! A cop Amanda? You're a criminal! I'm a criminal. Everyone we know is a criminal Amanda!' Brit exclaimed shrilly.
'Brit, relax.' Jill attempted to sooth the irate Brit.
'If you wanted a girlfriend you could of just told us. I'm sure Addison and Laura know plenty of nice criminal girls that we could set you up with.' Brit scolded.
Amanda curled up closer to Jill, seemingly even more distressed than before. 'I don't want anyone else. I love Allison.' She insisted.
'Love? Love! A cop!'
'She's been thinking about quitting the force but she's not sure if she'll be able to find another job.' Amanda explained in an attempt to placate Brit.
'Oh, well that's a relief.' Jill muttered under her breath as she offered a relieved smile in Brit's direction.
'I'll text Cecilia, she can fix this.' Brit nodded. Already mid way through composing a message on her phone.
Amanda releases a distressed gasp. 'You're going to have Allison killed?'
'No, I'm going to get her a new job.' Brit announced.
'Thank you so much.' Amanda jumped up off the recliner, dragging Jill down with her as she threw herself onto Brit's lap. She wrapped both women into a bear hug. Brit and Jill shared a fond smile as they returned the gesture.
'Just for the record, if she hurts you I won't need Cecilia because I'll kill her myself.'
Amanda's smile only grew wider at the threat.
'Are you aware that your body would give in sooner from a lack of sleep than it would from starvation.' Jon announced happily as he took a sip of his strawberry milkshake. Brit pushed away the plate of half eaten cheesecake before her with a sigh.
'Really?' Mark asked. He stopped shoveling french toast down his throat as his interest was peaked by Kramer's latest fascination.
Lawrence nodded in agreement. 'It's true.'
'This is exactly why I do not spend time with the three of you.' Brit mumbled, stealing Mark's mimosa while he was distracted.
'Sleep deprivation would be quite time consuming though.' Jon added.
'I hate you all.' Brit offered as she downed Mark's drink.
'Time consuming yes but also somewhat poetic.' Lawrence theorized thoughtfully.
'Okay, I'm leaving. And I'm not paying.' Brit declared as she left left the table and strutted out of the restaurant.
'Poetic how?'
'Tonight has been perfect.' Brit concluded happily. Taking in the large elegantly decorated room packed with people as she wrapped her arms around Jill.
'There was a fire.' Jill deadpanned.
Brit shrugged and leaned her chin against Jill's shoulder. 'Small fire, and it added to the ambience.'
'Addison and Valentina got into a knife fight with Mark.' Jill continued with a sharply raised eyebrow.
'And only he got injured, so I'd consider it a lovely gift from two of my bridesmaids.'
'Joyce publicly left her husband during the reception.'
'These things happen.' Brit teased.
'She left him for Lynn.'
'She could do worse, I mean she was doing worse. And did you see how happy it made Amanda.'
'What about the puppet?' Jill offered with a shudder.
'What about it?'
'It's terrifying, I am not allowing that thing in our house.'
'Kramer is not great at gifts but at least he paid for the honeymoon.' Brit offered. 'We can always re-gift the puppet. I think Mark has a birthday coming up.'
'Bobby no!' A loud yell came from behind the ice sculpture, the sound of shattering glass followed soon after.
'Dammit Adam!' Someone exclaimed before another loud thud.
'You want to get out of here?' Brit asked as she squeezed Jill tightly against her.
'Can we do that?' Jill joked.
'It's our wedding, we can do whatever we want.' The brunette grinned as she gave the blonde a sweet kiss.
Jill smiled prettily. 'Quickly then, before they notice we're gone.'
