Chapter Text
It's been three weeks since the worst day of Eduardo Rusca's life. Two weeks since he was released from prison upon orders from General Alejandrino. 12 days since he started serving under Alejandrino's troop as a captain. Technically he's not back as a soldier yet, he still has some recovering to do after the beating he took from the Kawit soldiers, but Alejandrino wanted him in the camp with them and assured him a position as a captain as soon as he was able. Honestly, he wasn't sure he wanted to keep fighting in the first place, but since he didn't really know what he wanted to do with his life (if you could call it that) nowadays... here he is. He keeps himself busy by keeping Joven company. He was surprised to find the boy here in camp, though he probably shouldn't have been.
Rusca tries to fill his days by rallying the troops, doing chores around camp, rebuilding his strength, and having long conversations with Joven, mostly just to keep his mind from going idle and flashing back to what happened that fateful day in Cabanatuan. Often, it feels like it takes all of his strength just to get out of his hut in the morning and drag himself around the camp throughout the day, but sleep just wasn't an option lately and it feels like it wouldn't be anytime soon.
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"Kapitan! Magandang umaga po!"
"Magandang umaga, Joven. Nag-almusal ka na ba?" Rusca was tired. So tired. Joven looked tired too, more weary than a boy his age should look. This was their life now, this was how it was going to be everyday. What a terrifying thought.
"Hindi pa ho, sabay na ho tayo." Joven looked at Rusca with concern in his eyes. Seems like everyone here has been looking at him the same way since he arrived. Rusca knows they're worried about him, and he knows they have good reason to be, but he wishes they would stop. Hindi ako karapat-dapat sa pag-aalala ninyo. Hindi pagkatapos kong hayaan ang mga halimaw na 'yun na patayin sila Heneral at Paco nang wala man lang akong ginawa.
Rusca and Joven set about doing the morning chores, then sat down for a simple breakfast of stale bread and bitter coffee. Stale and bitter, perfect for how he was feeling right now.
"Joven," Rusca looked at the young man "Hindi mo ba nais umuwi sa inyo? Mas makabubuti ang kalagayan mo doon, at mas ligtas pa." He has been meaning to bring this up with the boy since he first saw him in camp. He has even discussed it with General Alejandrino, who told him that the boy insisted on staying. Rusca didn't like this idea - didn't like the thought of Joven being in more danger than he needed to be. He didn't want to lose another friend.
"Ayos lang ako dito, Kapitan. Mas nanaisin ko na nandito ako kasama kayo. Isa pa, nais kong ipagpatuloy ang pagsulat sa kwento ng mga kaibigan ni Heneral Luna."
At the mention of his generals' name, Rusca felt his eyes well up with tears. Nanaman, punyeta. He sipped his coffee and willed himself to calm down.
"Joven, alam kong naging malapit ka kay Heneral, ngunit ang laban namin ay hindi mo laban. May maliwanag na kinabukasan na naghihintay sayo, Joven, at hindi mo iyon matatagpuan dito." Di tulad ko, hanggang dito nalang talaga.
Joven knows Rusca hasn't been himself since the day Heneral Luna and Koronel Paco were killed, especially after they found out that the Bernal brothers have also been assassinated. Neither was he. No one was... but it was Rusca who took it the hardest. He also knows that Rusca cared about him and wanted him safe, but he had a mission here too, and he was not about to back away from it.
"Alam ko ho na hindi ko ito laban, Kapitan. Hindi ako sundalo katulad ninyo dito, at wala akong pagsasanay kahit sa paghawak man lang ng baril, ngunit gusto kong manatili at makatulong sa kahit ano mang paraan na makakaya ko."
Rusca knows deep down that he can't change Joven's mind. He vows to try and keep Joven safe, but he didn't know how well he would be able to do that. Protektahan siya? Ano, tulad ng pagprotekta ko kila Heneral at Paco? Imposibleng tumagal pa ako hanggang sa dulo ng giyera na 'to. Halos ginagapang ko na nga lang hanggang sa dulo ng isang araw. Paano ko siya poprotektahan?