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"That's a spell which makes people happy! I put a bunch into yours, Asahina senpai!" These words followed by a bright smile were imprinted on Mafuyu Asahina's mind. The warmth she felt when her hand was being held by her kouhai lasted for a long, long time even after they separated.
Every now and then, Mafuyu found herself looking at her fingers and thinking about that moment, just as if went back to the cinema several times to rewatch the same scene. Her birthday was over more than a week ago, but she couldn't get over these feelings.
She remembers thinking for a while about how warm Kanade's hand felt, but for some reason, Emu's was very different. It was the same situation, but the effects were not the same. Why?
Mafuyu couldn't understand why she was so stuck on that day, or why her heart felt so restless when the idea of doing it again arose. That didn't make sense. Why was something as small as this bugging her so much? Was there someone Mafuyu could turn to who could help her with these uneasy feelings?
…It was better not to ask about it. Mafuyu herself wouldn't know how to explain what was happening, her friends wouldn't be able to help her in these conditions. Or maybe she was just embarrassed to talk about it.
Sometimes, when she met Emu in the school hallway or during committee meetings, Mafuyu's eyes would unconsciously stare at her kouhai’s hands like moths drawn to a flame. Whatever magic Emu used on her that day really changed something in Mafuyu. But what exactly changed?
It got frustrating how difficult it was to figure it out. At these times, an impulsive question always came to her mind: should she try to touch Emu so she could feel that again, perhaps?
That's something she couldn't do… Mafuyu wouldn't have the audacity and disrespect to demand a colleague to do something like that. It was illogical, unnecessary and perhaps even uncomfortable. What happened on her birthday was a spontaneous moment between them, it wouldn't happen again. And it was okay to be like that, right?
…
....It was not okay at all. Mafuyu was very disturbed about this. Would she ever return to her normal self someday?
On another cold winter afternoon, in the school committee room, this wild goose chase finally came to an end. It was only Emu and Mafuyu in there, working dedicatedly. The only sounds heard were the papers that Emu organized and the notebook's keys being pressed by Mafuyu, in addition to Emu's occasional unconscious singing. That atmosphere was cozy, somehow. Mafuyu had never worked alone with Emu before, but she didn't hate it.
There was still only one problem: the cloud that had been hanging over her head since Mafuyu started thinking about Emu's touch. It was very frustrating to have her around and know that she wouldn't feel that again, and even more so to recognize on a certain level that she wanted this more too much for a rational level. It was an emotional need for physical touch that she didn't even know she had and didn't know how to deal with.
Emu made a mess of Mafuyu. If she hadn't known about the warmth of being touched in an affectionate way, she would never have cared about something like this.
"H- Hey, Asahina senpai?...." She heard Emu's voice call her for the first time in a while. Mafuyu assumed that Emu wanted help with something, so she turned around with her perfectly rehearsed smile that her persona displayed.
"Yes, Otori san? Do you need help with something?"
"Actually, that's what I wanted to ask, Asahina senpai! Do you need anything?" Emu sometimes seemed to be nervous around Mafuyu, like at that exact moment. She never understood why, but honestly having that kind of reaction was comforting. Emu treated her differently from the way most people treated her, that's why she could even say that having Emu around was nice.
"Why do you say that?" Still, Mafuyu didn't understand where Emu was coming from. Why would she need help? She was working as efficiently and thoroughly as possible.
"It's just that you've been staring at me for a few days, so I figured you wanted to ask something or something!...Ahaha!" Emu's awkward giggle sounded unlike her real laugh, it was noticeable. However, she wasn't the only one who was tense now.
"I- I was doing that?" Mafuyu didn't have any awareness of this. It's true that she was lost in daydreams about holding Emu's hand for no reason, but she had never noticed that she was staring too. "I'm sorry, Otori san. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable…”
"It's okay, don't worry!! Seriously, I was kind of happy that you were paying attention to me, Asahina senpai!" Emu exclaimed with a wider smile, but it didn't hide how agitated she was as well. This was the weirdest interaction they had ever had.
"Really?... If that's the case, I'm happy about it" However, Mafuyu actually felt relieved. She didn't want to pressure Emu in any way, so she even relaxed her shoulders knowing that they were on good terms.
"Heheh! But anyway, do you need something from me?" Emu never seemed to hesitate to help. Of all the examples of kindness Mafuyu had ever experienced, Emu's was particularly endearing.
"I don't think so." Mafuyu responded without thinking since that was the truth. But then she realized she basically said she was staring at Emu for no reason at all, which was even worse. "I- I mean.... It's not exactly that, it's just...huh..."
Mafuyu wasn't doing a good job, either as a senpai or as a person. Much less like her persona.
"I got you, Asahina senpai!" And then, suddenly, Emu's hands were touching Mafuyu's again. Emu Otori's soft little hands were wrapping around hers again. "If you need my help or anything, you can count on me! I'll definitely support you!"
Even on the coldest days of winter, Emu continued to shine like the sun. And honestly, feeling this was much better than feeling cold. If it weren't like that, Mafuyu wouldn't even dress warmly in winter in the first place. That search wasn't so pointless...she simply wanted to feel better.
That's why Emu's warmth was welcome. And even necessary.
"Understood..." Mafuyu ended up pulling her hand away as soon as she realized that she had been silent for too long than necessary. Emu smiled happily and after that they didn't say anything else.
...
Mafuyu's thoughts were even more racing than before. She never felt like she needed something like the touch of someone, but being able to receive the affection that Emu's touch provided was such a pure feeling…As if it was sending Mafuyu's worries away for just a moment and wrapping her in a coziness embrace.
....Would it be too selfish to want more of this?
There was no deeper reason she could think of other than to keep away the cold. But she was also sure that she wouldn't do this to any other committee member or student other than Emu, no matter how warm their hands could be.
That girl had the touch of a ray of sunshine, so that's why it was different... No one else could be Emu. Would it be okay if she could share some of that brightness in Mafuyu's cold world? Just a bit would be enough…
"...You too, Otori san." Mafuyu's voice moved as her hand made its way to Emu's, wrapping her fingers tightly around hers completely. The size difference made it a little difficult to fully hold themselves, but that was precisely why Mafuyu liked it. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to call me, okay?"
Mafuyu didn't realize it, but at that moment her lips curved very gently into a small smile.
"W- WHAT?!??! Huuuh!!!! Y- Yes, got it!!!" Emu squealed loudly even more flustered than before. Her face seemed to be on fire from being so red, which was a cute thing to see. Everything about Emu seemed to warm those around her.
Mafuyu didn't want to let go. She didn't want to, so she didn't. Instead, she spent a long time holding Emu's hand, even stroking it with her thumb. That's when a sense of relief dispelled all the restlessness Mafuyu had been feeling for days. She was so grateful to have finally touched Emu again.
That small, flickering spark that lit up in her heart little by little could very well become a burning, powerful blaze. She just didn't know it yet. But for now, seeking comfort and peace in the small hands of her Emu Otori was enough.
"Asahina senpai!! Do you hear me?! Hey!! Asahina senpai!!!" For that purpose, Emu's flustered protests were set aside for the meantime. She wasn't hearing anything at all, lost in her little brighter world she just found out.