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01
”He might just want to fuck you.”
Jason said, chuckling weakly due to too much blood loss, as he forced the topic into the conversation to keep his spirits up. Meanwhile, Dick could only stand by in shock, his mouth forming an exaggerated 'O.'
"It's not impossible," said the notorious Red Hood, lying there, gesturing broadly. "What's his situation? Puberty? Excessive libido? I'm pretty sure no one's given him the sex education, or, you know, had sex with him." He began to chuckle again, happiness induced by lack of oxygen, "So maybe he just wants to fuck you, using his annoying behavior to cover his sexual desire for you. That explains why he's always hassling you."
Jason was very happy, he felt like he was a supreme sage. He needed the other party in the conversation to acknowledge this, so he turned his head towards Tim, who was lying next to him.
"Right, Little Red?"
"Damian is our brother; can we not talk about our brother's sexual life? Or even imply he wants to fuck another one of our brothers?" Dick, clutching his bandages, let out a sound of utter exhaustion.
"How can you say that? Are you denying Little Red's charm? Are you implying no one would want to fuck Little Red?" Jason said loudly.
"Can we please drop this topic—"
"You can't belittle others' charm just because everyone's willing to fuck you! That's disrespectful, you know, Dickhead?"
"I'm not—"
"I think Little Red is very charming; I would want to fuck him," Jason declared firmly.
"But I wouldn't want to fuck him," Tim's dreamy voice finally joined the fray, picking up on the first topic Jason had introduced.
"Tim, don't..." Dick's eyes pleaded, but a patient not yet under the influence of anesthesia has every right to ignore.
"Exactly, don't. It's not because he's ugly, which he is quite ugly, he's Bruce's offspring." The voice of Red Robin drifted aimlessly, while Red Hood on the side showed an encouraging smile. "Why is that? Tim? Tell your best big brother why?"
Tim's brain was obviously still buffering, while Dick tried to interject with something akin to your best big brother hopes you'd stop, but Jason was just too happy, being an exceptionally happy person right now, just like Dick wished for last Christmas.
"Because his dick is too small."
Damian stopped outside the door.
Actually, Damian was there before the conversation even started, but everyone was too engrossed in Todd's nonsensical ramblings as if he had just banged his head, to notice that the subject of the discussion was lurking in the shadows nearby. Damian didn't even bother correcting Todd's mistakes; he had a comprehensive understanding of sexuality, knowing how it operates. He didn't need anyone to have so-called puberty sex talks with him, let alone slander his concern for Drake.
Yes, concern, at least that's what Damian claimed. Because every insult clearly included accusations, corrections, and criticisms of Drake's work mistakes, every word pointing to the areas where Drake could improve, and every intonation showing how hard he was trying to get along, and the scuffles were because Drake wouldn't listen to a single punctuation mark.
"Why do you know how big Damian's dick is???" Dick was even more terrified, fearing they might have already slept together.
"Because it's like, really small." Tim gestured wildly, "The whole thing is really small, can fit in a pocket, bite your fingers."
"Ha ha, pocket-sized demon spawn."
"And he's too small, what, three years old? Four?"
"Fourteen, Timmy."
"Four years old!" his voice pitched up, "How big could he be!" Tim shook his head, putting on the serious expression he used for meetings, "No one wants to sleep with something that small!"
"Is this how the family bonds now? Talking about other's dick? Can we not talk about dick?"
"We could also talk about ass," Red Hood always had better suggestions.
"Thank you, Jason, I'd be willing to fuck you." Tim is now as happy as Jason. "Yay, Timmy," he said.
02.
Damian was so angry that he almost crushed his mouthwash cup. Did he really want to have sex with Drake? Of course not, but what right did Drake have to dismiss him using that excuse? Was he the shortest in the family? Yes, but he was only fourteen years old and still growing, wasn't he? He was sure his physical condition was better than anyone else in the family; it was just a matter of time. This was a process that required patience.
But that didn't stop Damian from getting up early in the morning, standing in front of the mirror, and gritting his teeth in hatred towards his not yet tall figure, mainly directed at Drake, not himself.
How dare he? He thought, grinding his molars. What does "too small" mean? Does Drake think he's big? With his growth already stunted, Todd standing next to him could squash him like a bug – of course, I could too. I'll even grow taller than Todd. What right does Drake have to be picky? Or on what grounds is he picky? Does he think he's so charming that I would want to fuck him? What a joke. Why would my grandfather think such a narcissist is worthy of affirmation?
"Damian, what's wrong?"
Dick was a good brother passing by, not understanding why his younger brother was threatening a mirror with his gaze so fiercely.
"Nothing, mind your own business, Grayson."
"Well, someone's eaten gunpowder."
I haven't, he thought.
He wasn't infuriated by Todd and Drake's stupid conversation, nor by a fact he couldn't deny, nor by any of Drake's insinuations that he wasn't charming.
He wasn't, so he told Grayson to buzz off.
He slammed the bathroom door shut and continued with his morning routine that he should have completed five minutes earlier.
Then he lifted the toilet seat, took off his pants, and entered the second round of silent fury.
"What's wrong?"
Even Jason started asking.
"Your punching power is even stronger than mine; that's not a good sign."
"I clearly remember you were grounded for injuries yesterday."
Red Hood showed a "you're kidding, right?" expression, his shock evident through his heavy helmet as he scrutinized the young Robin.
"Don't tell me you're really sexually frustrated. Seriously, have you ever tried to relieve yourself, at least once?"
Damian's anger flared again. He should have burst in yesterday and torn Todd's mouth apart, but he hadn't. He had walked away, so today he could only pretend to be ignorant.
"What the hell are you talking about?" he said.
"You know, that thing." Jason gestured, seriously considering discussing this with Damian. "Maybe you should consider it; it might be good for your temper."
"That's succumbing to lower desires." Damian wanted to break his ribs, maybe two. "Unable to control one's needs is a sign of incompetence; letting desires influence one's rationality only proves you're a loser, Todd."
"I'm just suggesting you 'polish the dagger' during puberty instead of killing people, God." Jason sighed heavily. "I forgot the Baby Bat's hormone rage period couldn't be compared to regular teenagers."
"I'm not in a hormone rage period."
"Code names, guys." Tim's voice in the earpiece sounded sharp. "It's not that hard."
"I'm just trying to be a good person, Little Red, but look at him."
"Don't provoke him; he'll bite you."
"I'll bite you to death, Drake, just wait."
Red Robin definitely laughed, Damian could catch that sneering laughter, Drake would regret it, he swore he would make Drake regret it.
"I still suggest you polish the dagger when you have time." He pounced on Jason as he spoke again.
03
"I didn't catch up, so are you into Tim or not?"
Jonathan was confused; after all, he thought masturbating was no big deal, but his overly irritable friend seemed to have some issues.
"I'm damn well not into him, God, why can't your brain comprehend such a simple sentence?"
"I don't understand." Jonathan was sincere and confused. "All I know now is you've been angry for days because Tim said he didn't want to, uh, have sex with you."
"I'm not angry because Drake doesn't want to have sex with me; I'm angry because how dare he deny my charm? In every way, I'm much better than him; what right does he think he has to decide whether to have sex with me or not? He couldn't even get into my preliminary list!"
So you're angry because Tim doesn't want to sleep with you, Jonathan thought but dared not say.
"Wait, you have a list of who can sleep with you?"
"? Of course not, I was just saying Drake has no right to deny me."
"Good, it would be weird if you did." Superboy breathed a sigh of relief, while Damian looked at him with a hint of incredulous disgust. "Nobody would have that kind of list, Jonathan, unless they're an extreme narcissist."
But your family makes lists for 'who needs to be monitored,' 'who can enter Gotham,' and 'who can eat my snacks from the public fridge without repercussions,' Jonathan thought. So if Damian really had a preliminary list, he would accept it because he's a good friend. Good friends tolerate each other's quirks and listen to them vent about their obviously unreasonable anger towards their own brother. "So what do you plan to do? Force Tim to admit you're charming? I don't think Tim will admit it."
"What do you mean he won't admit it, you mean I'm not charming enough to make him submit?"
"No, I mean even if Tim thinks you're charming, he won't admit it because it would be like admitting defeat to you, considering your relationship." An unhealthy and gradually baseless competitive relationship, he added silently.
Damian was somewhat persuaded. He crossed his arms and thought for a while, allowing Jonathan to finish his parfait undisturbed, finally nodding in agreement.
"You're right," Damian's confidence grew. "He only says that because he's ashamed to admit he's inferior to me."
"Right."
"Of course, he's inferior to me, and it's only natural for him to feel inferior."
"Yeah yeah."
"But I will make him admit he's wrong."
"Why isn't one of your options to just let it go?" Jonathan didn't understand, considering they had moved past the stage of hating or wanting to kill each other, so why maintain such a poor way of interacting?
"Because Drake is wrong," Damian replied. "And I intend to prove it."
Well, as long as his friend is happy, that's what matters most.
"But seriously, what exactly did Tim say in the beginning to make you so angry?" Jonathan returned to the start of their conversation, puzzled.
"I thought I made it clear."
"I'm pretty sure 'he said something that denied my charm' is far from clear."
"..."
"Come on, Damian, I just solved an emotional problem for you; you can't keep even this from me!"
"I'm leaving, you pay for your parfait."
"Hey!"
I'll tell Tim, he heard Jonathan shout behind him. Of course, he wasn't afraid, but he still paid for the parfait. Later that night during patrol, he bumped into Red Robin and unusually didn't pick a fight; in fact, he didn't even speak a word before turning away.
-- His look seemed conspiratorial, taken from Tim's later complaints to Jason.
04
"Have you been growing too fast recently? You're almost taller than Timmy now."
He told Grayson there was no need to make a fuss; it was the natural result of a good diet and exercise combined with excellent genes. While saying this, he sneakily glanced at Drake sitting opposite him, who was like an old man making sure there was no news on the morning paper that required him to clean up, slowly sipping his coffee.
He could almost prove Drake wrong, he thought, even though it took nearly two years to catch up to Drake's height. But it was okay, considering his current growth rate, he was sure he could look down on Drake within the year.
It was important, he had told Jonathan, that objective facts could further slap Drake's mistakes right in his face. So, the first step was to quickly increase the height difference between him and Drake, and then call him short.
"What's the second step?" Jonathan asked.
"To make him admit I'm charming, to make him admit he was wrong in his judgment," he said.
"So you're going to seduce Tim."
This was Jonathan's conclusion, and Damian felt his good friend is like a sow's ear, unable to be made into a silk purse.
"How did you even come to that conclusion? I said I didn't want to sleep with Timothy."
"I'm glad you're now calling each other by names, but you can't just stand there and expect Tim to, how should I say, develop feelings of affection for you?" He shivered. "It sounds really weird, I'm still used to you guys hating each other."
"Why would he develop feelings of affection for me? He just needs to admit I'm charming."
"Then why would he think you're charming!"
"Because it's an objective fact." Damian found this conversation meaningless, while Jonathan was getting tired. He didn't want to bluntly say Damian was weirdly in love with his own brother because he felt he couldn't get Damian to see reason, or couldn't handle a Damian who saw reason. Damian was difficult when he thought he was right.
"Right, but you need him to realize this objective fact, don't you?" He tried hard to phrase it. "People usually don't suddenly find someone they live with, see every day, charming, right? Especially since you're nominally brothers."
He felt Damian was persuaded, he hoped Damian was persuaded. He loved Damian, but that didn't mean he enjoyed being woken up at 3 a.m. by Damian for some secret mission just because Damian hadn't found a normal way to vent his feelings. Bats might not need sleep, but he wanted to.
"Okay, maybe you have a point," Damian shifted uncomfortably in his chair.
"I thought so too, want to share this banana boat platter?"
But this led to another problem, one Damian was deliberately avoiding: he had to start paying attention to the size of other parts of himself.
Not that they were going to sleep together or Damian wanted to, but if he needed Drake to realize his charm, he needed to— as Jonathan said— seduce Tim. It sounded nasty, and he felt it was nasty, but to fully make Tim realize the seriousness of his initial careless words, he indeed needed all of himself to prove to Tim that he wasn't small in any way. Again, he reiterated, not that he was really going to pull down Tim's pants, because that would be disgusting and nasty, and Timothy held no sexual attraction for him, but he could make Timothy acknowledge his sexual attractiveness and then harshly reject him. That was the retribution Timothy deserved, to learn not to speak baseless nonsense.
Right, that was the plan. Damian was satisfied with his conclusion.
So, he looked forward to his sweet revenge, until his rapid growth caused a hiccup.
He underestimated the impact of suddenly having a taller viewpoint. When he defeated Red Robin in sparring, realizing he could completely overshadow Tim, he felt an intense frustration.
How long will you press down? He heard Tim staring at him saying.
Damian didn't want to recall any part of his dreams that night because he could control his desires and had no extra thoughts about Red Robin.
05
"He looked like he wanted to swallow me whole but didn't pounce or say a word," Tim said gravely. "Something's off with him."
"Good thing? Didn't you always want him to stop bothering you?" Jason stuffed pancakes into his mouth. He and Little Red had a monthly breakfast meeting, and gradually, exchanging information turned into gossiping—a sign of societal peace, with nothing for them to complain about.
"I have a bad feeling," Tim bit the fork. "If he decided to let me go, he would've done it half-heartedly or directly declared a peace treaty to my face. If he was displeased with me for some reason, he would've laid it out, from words to actions, fully expressing it to me. But now? I can't figure out what he wants."
"Sounds like you know the demon brat too well."
No kidding. He thought. Damian was trouble, especially for Tim's life, but Tim was Tim, Tim liked to be in control of everything, so naturally, he had a whole set of plans to control the trouble, and there was no problem he couldn't solve. Damian had always been easy to understand, his overly violent emotional expressions were basically handing the reins to Tim, sometimes Tim would intentionally annoy him just to validate his own views, and each success would only make Damian more easily manipulated in his hands. But not now. This Tim, who had already solved the trouble, now had new problems, and Red Robin was very unhappy about it.
"So you've never considered that he might want to fuck you?" Jason raised that point again.
"Who wants to fuck whom?" Conner looked confused. "Is this a topic I should avoid?"
"Good morning, Conner." Tim greeted him, and the sight of a half-Kryptonian outside the window was obviously nothing new to him.
"Hey, Shorty, quick question, do you think Robin has any improper intentions towards Little Red?"
"I don't know? I'm not that close to Robin? Why are you discussing this?"
"Ignore him, what do you need from me?"
"Oh, Jon said Damian's been keen on late-night training with him lately, can you persuade your brother to reduce the frequency of depriving my brother of sleep?"
"What? Why?" Tim was puzzled. "I mean, why does he want to see Jon in the middle of the night? He's been training and patrolling more intensively lately, how does he still have the energy?"
"I don't know? Is he your brother? I really don't know him?"
Jason gave Tim a look.
He told Conner he would try to help, then sent Jason away, and then he sat on the couch, reluctantly pondering for a few minutes. Of course, he hoped Jason was wrong, but at the same time, he secretly found it a bit amusing, hey, Damian was interested in him, just think of the many ways this idea would give Tim extra leverage to create difficulties for Damian.
Playing with teenagers' emotions was cruel, but Tim had been unjustly beaten for years, and this was certainly what Damian deserved.
"Put your hand on me." So after the patrol ended, he turned off the channel and whispered to Jason.
"What?"
"Quick, to prove your point."
Jason looked at Tim, then at Damian not far away, decisively and quickly pulling Red Robin into his arms.
"Nice to see you're taking my advice." He said, bathing with Tim the murderous intent that Damian tried to hide but failed to conceal.
"You're welcome, Big Red." Tim patted Jason's chest with the red bat, looking thoughtfully at Damian's hesitant steps forward and the urgent halt.
"I need more samples." Next time, he was on the rooftop, reaching out to Conner. "Conner, take me back to Titan Tower."
Connor was a good friend, without saying a word, he flew Tim up into the sky, and when Tim asked him to change positions to a more comfortable princess carry, he didn't ask any questions, he simply followed Red Robin's wishes.
"If you're jealous, I can carry you back like this too."
Jonathan was a good friend, he expressed his concern for Damian sympathetically, Damian was ungrateful, poor Jonathan deserved better.
"Maybe I should just try it out directly." Next time, he proposed, Dick didn't understand what that meant, but Tim always muttered things he didn't understand, most of them were about his own plans or intelligence systems, so he didn't delve into them, nor did he notice Tim walking towards Damian.
"Pass me the cup." He said, looking at Damian raising his eyebrows back at him. "Please." He added.
Damian's throat rolled, but he didn't say anything, just took out Tim's usual mug from the cabinet and handed it to him steadily.
And Tim, the malicious Tim, at the moment of handover, accidentally brushed Damian's wrist with his fingertips.
The mug quickly slipped from Damian's palm and fell, then Tim caught it steadily at the bottom.
"Thank you." He said, satisfied to see Damian's neck turning red all the way to his ears.
06
Red Robin's entertainment activities gradually became more varied.
Physical contact? Just accidental. Verbal hints? He was overthinking.
I'll make him admit it to himself. Tim declared so.
"Seriously, why can't you guys just leave each other alone?" Conner said. "Have an honest chat, like two mature persons, instead of using your virginity as a bargaining chip just to see each other lose."
"You don't understand, Kon." Tim shook his head mournfully. "Your brother is an angel, you don't understand."
I don't understand, after all, I wouldn't go out of my way just to make my brother admit he wants to fuck me, and my brother doesn't want to fuck me either. But Conner understood Tim, no one could stop a determined Tim, so he just gave a comment. "Rob, you're evil."
"Thank you, I quite like myself too."
Damian, who had been taken the first move, roared.
"He did it on purpose, I know he did!"
"So why can't you admit you're attracted to him?"
"Because I'm not." He was about to burst into flames. "Even if there is, it's him who is attracted to me."
If you say so. Jonathan looked up at the greasy ceiling of the fast-food restaurant, feeling Damian and Tim were as unreasonable as each other, he couldn't understand the methods of two control freaks who expressed love through coercion and manipulation.
"Well, why don't you retaliate in the same way? According to you, Tim's flirting with you, right?" He pressed down on Damian's attempt to retort with his index finger. "Then you shouldn't escape, you should, um, fight back, yes, you need to take back control!" He nodded fiercely.
Damian was skeptical, but he was a person who was willing to listen to advice, so the next time, when Red Robin accidentally touched his hand, he chose to reach out and embrace Red Robin's waist directly.
What? I thought you were too weak to stand steady. He said, his efforts in height bringing him infinite advantage, allowing him to admire Tim's dumbfounded face from top to bottom.
"Wow." Tim stopped and stared at Damian's face, then patted Damian's arm affectionately. "How considerate, if I didn't know you, I would think you've wanted this for a long time." He pinched Damian's bicep muscle, feeling satisfied with Damian's momentary stiffening like being electrocuted.
"...Or should I say it's you who wants this, Timothy." Damian retorted stiffly, and Tim pinched him again, with a smile that seemed not to be a smile. "Of course, a little batling."
Damian couldn't resist it, and made up for the kick he didn't deliver to Tim a few years ago outside the door.
You can come and try if I'm still a cub, he said.
Tim, of course, refused, because "Why? I'm not interested in you."
You will be, Damian gritted his teeth.
So their unhealthy entanglement shifted from fighting to brutal flirting, with Dick claiming that when he suggested they change their way of communicating, he meant switching to a more age-appropriate way, not from 15+ to 18+.
"But you're still going to bed together," Jason pointed out, praising himself, "I'm a sage, I've always said, you guys always find good excuses for yourselves, you just lack a little push."
"But why do you care so much about your height?" Tim later held Damian's face and asked, "You'll be a giant if you grow taller, a little disgusting." He lied, Damian didn't need to know.
Damian remained silent. He knew that this bastard had definitely forgotten the rubbish he had spouted back then; and concurrently, he also felt furious with himself for harboring a grudge for so many years just because of some stupid trash talk. But he couldn't reveal this, or Timothy would mock him for a lifetime. This humiliation could only be taken to his grave, with his teeth clenched.
"I don't think you're complaining." So he just pinned the main culprit down to the ground.
Timothy didn't resist, after all, "It's all because Damian is too infatuated with me," he said.