Work Text:
He feels the nervousness overpowering his body as his date with Tommy approaches. He only has an hour and a half.
This is his first date with a guy, something that he never thought he wanted until a few days ago when Tommy kissed him here, in the same apartment where he was spending the last few hours panicking.
He doesn’t know what to wear.
He doesn’t know what to bring. He doesn’t know how he will act. He has no idea what to do. This feels like going back to his first date with Abby. Which is ridiculous because he has been going on serious dates with women these past few years. That felt a little bit easier than this. This feels confusing.
A thought occurred to his mind. Maybe texting the man he ran to years ago when he started going on dates is a good idea. The man who taught him how to wear a tie. The man with answers. Bobby.
But as his mind goes there, he realizes he hasn’t even told Bobby anything about this new discovery he made about himself. Suddenly, his anxiety on clothes easily became a fear of what Bobby would think about this.
On top of that, he is still panicking. He still doesn’t know what to wear. He checked his phone and realized that he has spent the last 30 minutes pacing and throwing clothes from his closet into his bed.
He unlocked his screen subconsciously and called Bobby. When he realized what he did, he wanted to hang up, but Bobby already answered after the first ring.
“Hey, Buck. Do you need—“ Buck cut him off right away.
“I-I didn’t mean to bother you, Bobby. I’ll just hang up, sorry.”
“What—” He ended the call.
He is not ready for this talk. He knows deep inside, Bobby will accept him. Really.
However, that thought doesn’t really calm his fear. Bobby’s opinion about his life always mattered so much to him. Bobby is one of the most important people in his life. And the thought of that tiny chance of their relationship changing because of this is terrifying for him. He couldn't lose Bobby because of this.
He is now thinking about canceling the date. He is not ready for this. For any of this. He doesn’t even know what to wear. He isn’t sure if he’s ever going to be ready to fully accept this part of his life. He can’t even tell the people he loves.
But before he went into a full spiral, he heard the doorbell ring.
He isn’t even dressed. What is Tommy doing here so early?
He shyly opened the door thinking it was Tommy but it revealed the man he hung up the phone earlier.
“What’s happening, Buck? Is there a problem? Are you hurt?” asked Bobby frantically
“What? No!” Bobby let himself in and inspected him from head to toe before looking around him to confirm if he is really okay.
Once Bobby had confirmed that Buck is physically okay, he then looked at Buck’s face that looked like it was riddled with anxiety. That sight didn’t totally fade Bobby’s worries. Bobby also saw the pile of shirts in his bed, and those raised more questions for him.
“Then why did you hang up on me?” Bobby asked Buck carefully once he had calmed down from the thought of the younger man in danger again.
“I just had an unimportant question. I’m okay, Bobby. I’m sorry for worrying you.” Buck felt guilty seeing the other man’s face when he opened the door.
“You know you can tell me anything.”
“It’s not important, Bobby. I’m okay. I don't really have anything to tell you. It was just a silly question that popped into my mind earlier.”
“Then why is your entire wardrobe in your bed?” Bobby tried again.
“L-laundry! I-I was trying to find a shirt, an important one. You know, my favorite!” Bobby just looked at him like he was losing his mind.
“Wanna try that again?”
“I don’t know what to wear to a date. I told you it was silly,” Buck answered in a low voice.
“You look like you’re nervous about this date? She must be important, Buck,” Bobby innocently commented. The pronoun Bobby used didn’t help the anxiety that was already killing Buck inside.
They were silent for a few minutes and Buck was trying to fix his bed that was full of clothes around.
“Remember the first date I had with Abby? When you taught me how to wear a tie?” Buck broke the silence by remembering one of the pivotal moments in their relationship.
“I remember. You were so terrified of screwing that up,” Bobby answered with a small chuckle.
“I’m terrified of screwing this up, too.”
“Buck, you’ve grown a lot since then. You’ve had a lot of meaningful relationships over the years. You’re not going to screw this date up,” Bobby assured him. However, Buck can’t find it in him to be assured by Bobby’s words. It doesn’t feel true.
Did I really have a lot of meaningful relationships over the years? Buck thought sadly as his failed relationships came crashing down at him.
“What if he doesn't find me interesting? I don’t even know what the hell to wear!” Buck is full on panicking now that he sounded like a fourteen year old boy. He didn’t even notice the slip of pronoun he used in the statement.
“ He will, Buck. You’re one of the interesting people I know. You always know what to say in a conversation. I’m sure one way or another, he will find you charming. And don’t worry about what to wear, you know I can help.” Bobby smiled at him and led him to his unmade bed full of shirts that he was trying to choose from earlier.
As he is following Bobby to his bed, he realized what he said and realized that he practically came out to Bobby.
“W-wait, Bobby. I just told you it was a guy!”
“And?”
“You weren’t even surprised!”
“Why would I be? It has been obvious for years, Buck.”
“What? Is this even okay for you?”
“Okay for me? Buck, yes of course, it is. You don’t even have to doubt that. I’m here to accept everything you are and be proud of everything you can be. I’ve always been proud of you, kid.”
“Really?” He feels the tears coming down from his eyes.
“Really.” Bobby gave him a smile and pulled Buck into a hug.
“Now, how about we start picking a shirt so you can get out of here?” Bobby suggested after he pulled away from the hug.
“Yeah, we can do that.”