Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I'll go help him clean.” I voice it to Katniss, turning to the Haymitch’s train car.
There might not be the better chance to get Haymitch one on one.
I push his door open and I am met with stumbling old drunk pointing a knife at me.

“Do not come in”

I would have taken him seriously had he not had any vomit on his shirt.

“I'd love to discuss one thing and help you sober up” I explain firmly, eyeing him I can tell his left leg is woobly, it would be easy for me to strike him there while disarming him.

“What, blondie you really think you could win the games? And go back to 12th and swipe the girl you love and live happily ever after!?” The old drunkard screams, but his cart is at the very end; I suppose it was Effies idea; not wanting to scare the young souls on the first night of the train. Him screaming ends with his spit on my cheek.
I get into his room getting the cold water in the bowl from the in-suite bathroom. Haymitch almost doesn't react when I dunk it on him. He catches the towel I throw at him easily though.

“What? Truth hurts?”

“I wish it was so easy, Mr. Abernethy” I say with sad tone, though not wishing to feel sorry for. “the girl I love came here in place of her sister” I start head hanging low, as if my mom was about to hit me with a rolling pin across the face again. My eyes set on my last nice shoes, 2 sizes too big, a hand me down from uncle Graham.
“I'll do everything to save her, she's got to come back to her sister safe and sound!”

At those words I stare at Haymitch. His pale blue eyes suddenly sobered up.

“And what do you want me to do, boy?”
He murmurs

“A deal. I'll do anything you ask me to, sponsor or arena related and in return, every sponsor package in the Arena goes to Katniss. Do everything so she comes back alive”

I keep my eye contact straight at him, hoping I could appear older and somehow intimidate the man in his 30s. He nods.

“Okay”

The rest of the evening after Hamitch is bathed, redressed and fed, we get over the initial plan to get sponsors.

“You are really willing to do that? To die for that girl?” Haymitch asks in such a small voice I can't say if it was meant for my ears or just for him, but nevertheless I respond.

“I can die a thousand times for her if it means she's alright”.

Chapter Text

Reminiscing of the first games it's not something Peeta does often.
Real or not real often revolves on here and now.
We are in District 12.
Real.
We live together.
Real.
We are lovers.
Real. I'd tell him over and over.
He almost never asks about the past. And I chose to accept it. That is until Peeta stiffens shortly after my episode of morning sickness. His blue eyes are foggy as if looking somewhere somewhen very distant. Only muttering. The only auditable word “Haymitch”. I get up and sprint across the street to our mentor. He tends to his geese.

“Haymitch, help”
The old drunk rushes to me. We both enter the kitchen and Peeta is still here, unmoving, tears streaming down from his face.

“Peeta, love, Haymitch is here, tell us what's wrong” I coo to Peeta but he doesn't look at me.

“Leave us alone for the moment, sweetheart”

I don't want to agree with him.
Peeta and I are a team… we've been a team for over a decade now. But I can feel Peeta gently caressing my hand, telling me it will be alrighr and urging me to leave the room. I reluctanly agree. Still though I leave, I choose to stay in the earshot.

“On the train” my husband starts with raspy voice “on the train towards the first games… I made a deal with you; Real or not real”

“Real” Haymitch answers almost immediately “You begged me to do everything to save Katniss when you were checking on me after I threw up in the dining cart”

I can hear my Peeta's voice breaking at the next statement.

“I went to the first games ready to die.”

It hurts.
The moment Peeta told me nobody needed him on the beach at Quarter Quell, it hurt.
Now hearing him saying he had gone to the Games with me just so I could survive, it hurts much more to know he was ready to throw away his life to save me. That he's still ready to do that.

I feel sick to my stomach, because i can't imagine a now without My Boy with the Bread.
I can't imagine a now where I didn't save him.
I can't imagine a now where I didn't get to tell him, he's gonna be a father.

I move silently to our bedroom and wait for Peeta to joining me on the bed. We always cuddle after his episodes are over; it centers him to feel a human touch.

When I open my eyes, he's here right besides me. His strong arms enveloping me and I can't help to feel more in love with My Boy than I already was. “I do, I need you” I whisper gazing at him. Tracing the thrown between his bushy eyebrows with my finger tips. Slowly moving them down the slide of his nose and letting them linger on his full lips slightly apart. My admiring time is cut short when those perfect blue eyes gaze upon me.

“Kat…” he starts but just like back then I silence him with a kiss. Just like a decade ago.
I feel wet. Not in the place I suspect, my face. Suddenly at the memory of that kiss and just now, the flood gates open and I'm now very much aware tears are running down my face. We end the kiss.

“Katniss… I”

“No.”

Breath in. Breath out. Breath in.
We fall silent.

“I told you. I do, Peeta. When we were 11, 16 and how we are now at 27, I need you”

Peeta may argue that I can hunt, I can somewhat cook, that without him I'd be able to feed theentire new District 12, but truth be told, without him I wouldn't leave that spot on the couch. Without him in my life, it wouldn't be this beautiful. And i wish for him to know this, even if i have to repeat it day by day.

“I need you now even more.”

Breath out. Sit up.

I look at those lovely blue eyes.
And I hope our first born will have the same shade of blue as Peeta.

“I'm with child, Peeta.”

His eyes shoot out of the orbits, mouth agape.

“We're going to be…”

“Parents, yes”

My husband kisses me, and I again can't help but cry. This time happy tears.

And when the perfect little girl comes at the beginning of July, we give her name Willow.

“Now there is one more person that needs you and me both” he mutters kissing the tip of my nose.