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1.
Tubbo tends to be a quite forgetful person. He's the type of guy to leave his wallet at the airport. The type of guy to forget something at his mate's place, or forget super important dates and deadlines. It's annoying from time to time, but usually, he finds it more or less comedic.
Many would blame his forgetfulness in this scenario, but in his defense, he didn't fully forget to bring a jacket (and by that, he just means a hoodie with a zipper) to the Twitchcon convention center, he simply didn't think he'd need one. This is both since Vegas is typically quite humid and since convention centers, who are filled with thousands of sweaty people, are typically even more humid.
Right now, it's pretty chilly.
Maybe it's because the creator lounge actually has proper air conditioning, or it's the fact that he just finished Minecraft Championships, and his body has significantly cooled down now that the stress that kept his body temperature up is over. Regardless, Tubbo is freezing.
He's chatting with Foolish (who he initially went to after the event with the purpose of continuing their beef, but as usual, it quickly turned into a casual conversation), and Cellbit, who pretty much just joined them in the lounge. And it's great! Hanging out with friends is always a win, with or without the beef. However, the chilliness is somewhat distracting, and he rubs his uncovered arms as he unintentionally shudders.
"Is it just me, or did it get really cold all of a sudden?" he asks, mostly for confirmation that he's not imagining things.
"Did it?" Foolish looks confused, but then again, confusion might as well be his resting face. "It feels fine to me."
"Oh. Welp, maybe I'm just crazy then."
"Yeah, you lost it," Cellbit agrees, as the kind man he is.
"Aw, fuck." Tubbo sighs dramatically. "I can't believe I lost it already. Didn't even make it to twenty. And all because I forgot my jacket."
Cellbit laughs. "You can use mine if you want."
Cellbit's jacket is tied around his waist. It's black with white print and cool as fuck, but it's also not Tubbo's style in the slightest. Fuck it—he's willing to go through a style change for the cause of not freezing to death. "Hell yeah. You've actually saved me," he says.
Tubbo receives the jacket and puts it on. It's oversized, surprisingly soft and smells distinctly like Cellbit. Foolish starts laughing, and Tubbo realises that he must look pretty silly. "Does it look like shit?" he giggles.
"No, it looks great!" Cellbit says with an amused smile. "The jacket, I mean."
"Oh, fuck off."
Cellbit laughs again. "I'm just kidding Tubbo, it suits you. You look good."
The compliment causes a strange tingling in Tubbo's stomach, which is odd. People tell him he looks good all the time, and he's never really felt anything in response; unless when he's interacting with either a boyfriend or with someone he really looks up to, like Scar or Etho. But he doesn't look up to Cellbit like that, so it's quite strange.
Oh well.
He keeps wearing the jacket for the rest of the day. And it's not like he hasn't shared clothes with his friends on a billion occasions in his life, but yet, every time he reminds himself about the fact that it's Cellbit's, that tingling sensation returns. And, since the tingling feels funny and oddly good, he finds himself thinking about this fact pretty often. Plus, not only is the jacket actually super fucking comfortable, but the longer he wears it, the more he begins to realise how good it smells, and how strong the scent is. Which is even weirder, since it just smells like Cellbit.
By the end of the event, Tubbo hasn't seen Cellbit again, so he figures that he might as well keep the jacket until tomorrow. And, once he finds himself in the safety of his private hotel room where no one else will see him, he just... keeps it on. He can't help it. He lays on the bed and buries his nose in the fabric and breathes in the heavenly scent, inhaling it like it's straight drugs. It feels just as intoxicating and is equally addicting.
It's a very questionable and embarrassing thing to do, he knows that. He's only ever done it with clothes of his at-the-time boyfriends, which is a strange thing to associate this with. But hey, it's not Tubbo's fault that Cellbit smells so goddamn good.
Besides, Tubbo is allowed to act weird every now and then. That's not the end of the world.
After all, it's not every day he gets to feel a tingling like this.
2.
QSMP Purgatory might be one of the most stressful events Tubbo has ever been in.
It's been two weeks of—to put it nicely—hell. The event itself was fun, but oh, so unfair in so many aspects. And so much toxicity. Two days might've been fine, but two weeks was simply way too much, and Tubbo has a suspicion that QSMP won't ever be the same after all of this.
It's the aftermath of the final duel. He was too stressed and fucked up absolutely horribly, and even though he's better at PvP than Phil (no offense), the loss was embarrassing. Soulfire was so close to victory and Tubbo had all the odds in his favour, which truly makes it feel like he failed his team. It might've been one of his worst fights ever, and as he jumps around the arena with disappointment feeling like an ice cold shower, he wishes he could try again. Preferably without the audience.
"Toby, did you go easy on me?" Phil's cubito appears out of nowhere. He sounds like he's calling out a toddler on their bad behaviour.
"Huh? No? No, I was just too stressed, I— I couldn't aim, man, my hands were shaking, I whiffed every shot I went for, I didn't have the confidence, I ran in the wrong direction..." Tubbo quickly finds himself rambling, wanting to clarify to everyone (and himself) why he messed up so horribly.
"Tubbo, can I say something to you?" It's Cellbit, who Tubbo now realises heard his whole rant. There's something... intriguing about the fact that he did that causes his heartbeat to quicken. Phil and Chat were the only ones who were supposed to hear that.
"Yeah, what's up, man?"
"I don't know if I'm gonna see you again anymore, but, you were an amazing leader, and I know you went through so much hardship, you've been the best."
Other people have joined them and it's pretty chaotic now, with maybe three voices yelling at the same time, (Quackity is loud enough to count as three people) but Tubbo only hears Cellbit. And he can't help but smile, feeling an oddly familiar tingle in his heart at being complimented like that. "Thanks, man."
"It was insane to go against you. You did everything the best you could, you're the best leader blue team could ever have because Philza was on ours."
Tubbo can't stop smiling, because Cellbit is calling him the best leader. Not good, but best. Well, second to Phil. And after two weeks of online and offline hell, being appreciated for his efforts and actually respected is exactly what he needed. It reminds him of that day when they lost green team—when his own teammates went against him and was the reason for green's defeat. He remembers how Cellbit told him that he deserves more respect, and how him and the other red team members took his side and actually recognised him as a capable leader. It was so relieving to be appreciated back then and it's equally nice now.
Maybe Bolas isn't so bad. They still suck ass, though.
And now Tubbo is suddenly in a much better mood. How did he go from rock bottom to happy that quickly? His heart is fluttering, in a way that feels funny and nice and as if he’s nervous, and in a way that he recognises. The last time it happened must've been... yeah, back when green lost. And before that, it was Twitchcon.
Which is a very weird coincidence, since all three of these times involves Cellbit.
But it's just a coincidence, surely. One time's a chance, twice is a coincidence, third... no, there's no third. This time and the last was essentially the same, it counts as one. Two times total. Just a coincidence.
Surely.
3.
Tubbo wouldn’t really say he checks out his friends.
It’s more so that he just happens to notice if they’re attractive. It doesn’t mean anything in particular, it’s just something he notices. Like Coy Piso. When they met, Tubbo noticed that he was good-looking. It doesn’t mean that he’s in love with Coy.
Similarly, he has noticed that Cellbit is very attractive. He noticed that on day one, it’s just that it took a couple months until he really thought about it.
He has just arrived in France, and that might be why he’s thinking about it now. He’s about to spend a week or so living in the same house as Cellbit, (and Charlie and Baghera, and then others once they get here as well) which means that this is the first time he’s actually able to look at Cellbit so up close—considering the only other time they met in real life was Twitchcon, where there always was a meter in between them minimum—and hence take notice of his ungodly attractiveness. Tubbo obviously doesn’t mention it or anything, but he does pay attention to it. It’s not like there’s anything wrong with looking. Like stated previously, he’s done that before with other friends.
Though, this new information (which isn’t really new) suddenly makes everything about Cellbit seem very different.
They hug when they meet, obviously. And it’s the most normal hug ever, but it’s still different now compared to Twitchcon. In contrast to then, Tubbo’s stomach is pretty much exploding with butterflies, and everything feels so exciting yet nerve-inducing at the same time. The more he thinks about how close he’ll be to Cellbit the coming week, the stronger he feels that way.
And it’s so weird. Tubbo’s body is treating Cellbit as if he was one of his biggest idols, while his brain is wondering why. He has no reason to look up to Cellbit that much. Sure, he admires what the other does, but not like he’s a fan, right? Plus, he meets Cellbit much more than his idols, and part of the jitters that comes from meeting an idol are obviously from the fact that he never meets them normally. Because it’s a one-time thing.
But this whole Cellbit situation has certainly not been a one-time thing. In fact, this is the third time now he feels the butterflies like this. And he can’t ignore that while once may be chance and second a coincidence, the third time is a pattern.
When Tubbo greets his other friends, he practically forces himself to look at them too, his mind convinced that it would make everything feel more normal and less like Cellbit gets some kind of special treatment. Charlie looks better than ever, although it’s odd to see him without glasses. And Baghera is gorgeous as always.
But it’s not the same feeling.
If he for any reason thought he felt different being hugged by Cellbit only because he’s attractive, then he was just proven false, because hugging Charlie and Baghera feels completely normal. It also can’t be that Cellbit’s hug was in any way better, because Charlie hugs Tubbo like a cartoon and for what feels like a minute straight. He clearly takes the win there.
Or maybe he was just touched starved, and the first hug with Cellbit was just enough to cure that.
It’s nothing but copium, but Tubbo decides to run with it.
It’s easier like that.
4.
When Tubbo has migraines, he likes to keep them to himself.
It's mostly because he doesn't want to bother anyone. And it isn't an issue most of the time, considering he lives alone. He can typically feel an incoming migraine an hour or so in advance, which gives him enough time to cancel any plans or go home if he's already away.
Today, it is an issue. Not only is Tubbo still in France where he has no chance of hiding this from anyone, but the migraine also arrives without any warning whatsoever. He's snowboarding down a forested, snow covered hill in the middle of the mountains when he feels it; a dull throbbing that quickly grows stronger. He tries to ignore it at first, praying that it's only a mild attack. He's mostly in luck anyway, since the house where they're staying is only a five minute walk away. There's also not really anyone else here (except for Cellbit, since they all split up into smaller groups a while ago), which means that there's not as much noise as there could have been.
But there is light. The sun is beaming right in his eyes and Tubbo soon realises that the sound of the wind is strong. Plus, snowboarding is a physical activity. That, sound and light are three things that aren't particularly known to help migraines. And they definitely aren't helping this one.
The pain is soon unbearable, and Tubbo slows down to a stop, unable to keep going. He rubs at his temples without much effect and eventually has to sit down in the snow, just to cover his eyes with his arms and shield himself from the unbelievably bright sunlight. He then hears the sound of crunching snow as he's being approached.
"Are you okay, Toby?" Cellbit asks, breath heavy from skiing. Tubbo looks up ever so slightly and notices that the other is now crouching right next to him. A minimal tingling ignites in his chest.
"Maybe," he mumbles in response. "Yeah, no. I've got a migraine."
"Oh." Cellbit looks around, as if someone else is there. "Do you wanna go home?"
"I do." Tubbo moves to stand up, but the pain only intensifies. "Oh, fucking hell."
Cellbit throws him a concerned glance while he picks up his own skis and Tubbo's snowboard. "Should I call the others?"
"It's fine, king, no worries. Let's go."
The walk home is tedious and feels infinitely long. Every step is a stab with a knife in Tubbo's head. He shields the light with an arm over his eyes, completely trusting the sound of Cellbit's steps next to him to guide them back. Cellbit doesn't say much, apart from occasionally asking if Tubbo is doing alright. It's either because he knows sound will make it worse or because he simply doesn't know what to say in this situation. Maybe both.
After about three minutes of walking, every muscle in Tubbo's body and every inch of his head screams for him to stop moving. He does, and his legs immediately want him to collapse in the snow. He prays he doesn’t pass out.
“Toby?” Cellbit sounds worried, and Tubbo feels a hand on his shoulder.
“Sorry, man, I— I just—“ he takes a deep breath, trying to focus. “Fuck, man, can you like, carry me or something?”
There’s two seconds of silence before Cellbit answers, as if he’s thinking about it. “Yeah, I can. Should I just leave our shit here?”
“Uh, yeah. Go for it.” Tubbo had forgotten that Cellbit was already holding their stuff, and now he feels incredibly stupid and kind of selfish for wanting to be carried. However, he also feels a light flutter in his heart and an increase in his heart rate at the fact that he will be carried. He temporarily drops the arm covering his eyes to watch Cellbit throw the skis and snowboard underneath a pine tree where they’re somewhat hidden.
“I’ll come back and pick it up. Alright, hop on.” Cellbit helps Tubbo jump onto his back, and they continue the walk home.
It’s a lot easier when Tubbo doesn’t have to walk on his own, but the light is still unbearable. He can no longer use his arm to block the sun when he’s on Cellbit’s back—because the position is too awkward—and he therefore has to use his hand, but the sun rays seep through his fingers and burn his eyes and brain like lasers. It’s worth it, though. He’s essentially just exchanging pain from walking with pain from light, but the difference is that being carried by Cellbit makes everything feel better. Added to the headache is that familiar tingling in his stomach that he still doesn’t know the cause of, but that feels nice and is something that isn’t pain.
When they finally make it back to the house, Tubbo is exhausted and in excruciating pain. His head feels like it’s going to explode.
“Is it still bad?” Cellbit gently drops Tubbo from his back but keeps a firm hand on his arm—maybe Tubbo doesn’t only feel like he’s about to pass out, but looks like it too. He nods, and his free arm is immediately back to shielding his eyes.
He manages to stay conscious after all. Cellbit follows him to his room, and Tubbo almost immediately collapses onto his bed, pressing the cold pillow against his forehead. Slowly, everything feels better. Cellbit rolls down the shades on the window, leaving the room in wonderful darkness, and then it’s even more bearable. “Thank you,” Tubbo feels the need to say.
“No problem. I’ll get you some painkillers,” Cellbit replies and leaves the room again.
While he’s away, Tubbo properly gets into bed, hoping he can sleep the migraine away. The rest, darkness, complete lack of sound and the cold pillows are doing wonders for the headache, and it’s such a relief that he almost forgets the pain altogether. Then there’s that tingling too. What is this, the fourth time now? Yeah, something is clearly up with Cellbit. Tubbo really doesn’t know why his body treats only certain interactions with the guy as if they were interactions with his idols, but that’s clearly the case.
And then there’s the vague sense that maybe, just maybe, he shouldn’t want to know why it’s like that. The vague, practically invisible feeling that he won’t like the answer, and that it’s better to be in denial.
Cellbit returns before he has time to overthink. He brought the painkillers and a glass of water, and he crouches next to the bedside table to give them to Tubbo. “I’m probably gonna go back, but I told the others you’re here,” Cellbit says while Tubbo takes the tablet, and his voice is so quiet that it’s almost a whisper. “We’ll be home in, like three hours. Can you be alone here, you think?”
“Yeah, that’s fine.” Tubbo puts the glass of water away. “Thank you so much, Cellbit. I appreciate this a lot.”
Cellbit smiles weakly. “No problem. I hope you get better soon.”
Tubbo almost wants to ask for a hug, but he doesn’t dare to. It turns out he doesn’t need to, because as if Cellbit can read his mind, he offers one. And Tubbo accepts it with zero hesitation.
It’s clearly not the most graceful hug ever, since Tubbo is half-lying in the bed and Cellbit is crouched on the floor beside him, so it’s kind of physically awkward, but it works out. It’s definitely the kind of comfort Tubbo needed right now, and when Cellbit abandons him and carefully closes the door, leaving the room pitch black and completely quiet, the fluttering in Tubbo’s heart is almost more prominent than the migraine. Almost.
And while he doesn’t understand that sensation, he likes it. Even if the cause for it might be negative, maybe it’d be worth it. Maybe.
5.
It's time for the annual streamer awards, and Tubbo is more than excited. He has admittedly been quite lonely ever since the server restart, and while Town of Fobo is great and all, he misses the pre-purgatory days; building on his giant Tubchunk, chatting with Morning Crew for hours on end and the sight of more than three people online at the same time. He mostly has real-life meetups to look forward to nowadays, and that includes the streamer awards. It's not like he has any chance to win when he's up against Quackity—he's here only for the vibes.
The trip turns out about as expected. Tubbo lands in LA, does some suit shopping, meets his friends and Foolish gaslights him and Cellbit into the three of them getting matching shoes (he'll cherish those forever), he arrives at the award show, does an interview on the red carpet and chats with Cellbit for a while. He's not sure why he only remembers the moments where Cellbit is involved. (Who is he kidding? He knows he feels different around the guy, and the sense that he doesn't want to know why only grows every day.) Then he watches the show from his table, which—to his disappointment—is not the QSMP table where all his friends are, he is not at all surprised when Quackity wins two awards and then it's over.
Following the show, though, comes the afterparty. And that's what Tubbo has truly been looking forward to.
Quackity has rented out a huge LA style mansion for the entire night, and all his friends and probably their mothers are there, and everyone's drinking. Technically Tubbo isn't allowed to drink in the US, but he's only one year off and no one cares, and therefore he's partying the night away. He's been kind of stressed recently and the alcohol and time with friends is just what he needed.
Tubbo becomes a very different person when he's drunk. Everything is lighthearted and absolutely hilarious, and he's always touchy and extremely sappy. If he's an open book while sober (he is the only honest streamer left), then he's a glowing neon sign with arrows while drunk. In other words, he'd probably admit to murder if someone were to ask.
"Hey, Toby, how much have you been drinking?"
Tubbo looks up at Cellbit and blinks. He's kind of been gravitating towards him throughout the night, and he pretends to not know why this is the case, but he convinces himself that it's because everyone else naturally hangs around him anyway. "I had a jägerbomb... or two… and then I had some vodka earlier... it hasn't been that much to be honest."
Cellbit looks amused. "Sure."
Tubbo keeps staring at him, taking in his features that shouldn't be as beautiful as they are. He catches himself disgusted with his own thoughts, but reminds himself that he finds a lot of his friends good looking, and that there's no need to overthink that. "Man, Cellbit, has anyone told you how fucking pretty you are?" he blurts.
He instantly regrets his words, realising that this probably sounded gayer than intended, but Cellbit laughs in response. "Thank you. You have definitely been drinking a lot."
"I'm literally not even drunk?" Tubbo huffs. He takes a step back and almost trips, spilling the entirety of the drink in his hand on the floor. "Oh, shit."
"Maybe you should go to bed,” Cellbit suggests.
It's near the end of the night and more than half of the original guests are already gone. Bedtime is definitely overdue for Tubbo, but Cellbit could easily stay up if he wanted to since he's not nearly as drunk. It actually kind of annoys Tubbo how non-drunk Cellbit is, even after so many hours. If he hadn't seen the other drink, he would've thought he was fully sober.
"Yeah, you're right. Oh, well, the party's dying down anyway. Goodnight, king." Tubbo makes a beeline towards the stairs, but said line is about as straight as he is. He stumbles over his own legs and when he's about to reach the stairs, Cellbit has caught up to him again.
"Do you need help?" Cellbit asks, offering an arm.
"Oh, thank you boss. Oh, you're actually my hero." Tubbo gratefully leans against him (and maybe enjoys it more than he should) and he lets himself be guided up the stairs. They make their way to the end of the corridor and into a bedroom that Tubbo quickly recognises as the same room he loudly claimed as his own when they got here many hours ago. He's both surprised and flattered that Cellbit remembered that.
Tubbo releases himself from the other and plops down on the bed, which is cold and incredibly comfortable. "Thanks Cellbit. Bro, I actually love you so much."
Cellbit laughs again. "Love you too. Goodnight."
"Wait, are you leaving?" Tubbo sits up again the moment he notices that Cellbit is just about to close the door, and he tries to sound as heartbroken as possible.
"Yes, I'm gonna sleep too," Cellbit says, but remains leaning against the open doorway.
"Wait, no. Come back. I'm not ready to say goodbye yet." Tubbo pouts, and Cellbit scoffs, crossing his arms.
"I'm not leaving forever, idiot."
"But you have to give me a goodnight kiss," Tubbo attemps. He's too drunk to be thinking straight—he might as well go all out. It's not like he actually wants to, it's just a bit.
"Sorry?"
"A goodnight kiss. On the lips."
Cellbit gives him a weird look. "No."
"Oh, but it'd be so funny though."
"You're drunk as fuck. Go to sleep." Cellbit turns off the light switch, but the room remains dimly lit from the lights in the hallway.
"Come on, pleaase?" Tubbo begs, putting on his cutest puppy eyes. He's not even sure why he's so persistent. "I'll go to sleep after, I promise."
Cellbit rolls his eyes and sighs for a very long and exaggerated time.
"I won't be able to sleep otherwise," Tubbo adds.
"Yes, you will."
"Pretty please?" He flutters his eyelashes at the older. Cellbit still hasn't left—surely that's a good sign—although the way he's looking at Tubbo is the same way one would look at an annoying younger brother. Maybe that's exactly what he sees.
With another sigh, Cellbit finally walks inside the room and sits on the end of the bed. Tubbo just stares at him, a tingling sensation instantly sparking to life in his chest. Is that a yes? Did he just agree?
"Go on then," Cellbit says, and Tubbo's heart does a backflip—that's all the confirmation he needs. He stumbles over on his knees, suddenly feeling like he's just about to hold a speech on stage in front of a million people, and clumsily locks lips with his friend. His stomach is instantly filled with such an overwhelming amount of butterflies that he can't ignore them. Tubbo might actually lift from the earth and ascend into heaven—that's how light he feels—and the clouds in his mind are not only from alcohol.
It doesn't last longer than two seconds. Tubbo is practically hungry, but his greediness stops him; the moment he climbs further and adjusts his position to get an actual taste, he feels a hard push to his chest and is practically thrown back to the pillows.
"Okay, that's it. Horny piece of shit." Cellbit laughs and stands up.
"Aww, come on, man! Was that it?" As much as Tubbo tries to seem disappointed, he's not. He's probably never been happier.
"Yes. Now sleep." Cellbit closes the door, and he's gone.
Tubbo leans back into the pillows and takes a few deep breaths, heart fluttering so much that he feels like laughing. He covers his mouth with his fist, muffling his own giggles, feeling all bubbly and giddy while his head is completely spinning. He licks his lips, feeling the cold and soft sensation linger there. There's no way he just did that. There's no way.
And why the fuck did he like it?
He's both overjoyed and absolutely horrified. He should not have enjoyed that to this extent—it's creepy as fuck, probably. Cellbit is one of his close friends, or like an older brother at best. It's completely unreasonable to think otherwise.
No, Tubbo is just drunk and maybe touch starved, he convinces himself. That's it.
There can't be anything else.
+1.
For his ninety-day (but probably not actually that long) Tubbathon, Tubbo has—stupidly enough—decided to do a lie detector test as one of his many events.
Most people would call him insane, as if streaming for ninety days isn't already insane, but Tubbo doesn't actually think it's that bad. Any question he refuses to answer will be punished with a hot wing, which is not a horrible punishment, and he is the only honest streamer left, which is a title he needs to live up to.
He has invited Tom Simons, MaxGGs and a few others to the lie detector test. The two named might be his two most unreliable friends, sure, but they couldn't do that much harm, could they?
At least, that's what he hopes until Tom—it's always Tom—one hour into the test leans forward across the table with an evil smirk on his face, and Tubbo braces himself for the question about to be thrown at him.
It still catches him off guard.
"Do you have romantic feelings... for one of your friends?"
Tubbo feels his heart metaphorically, and probably physically, stop. Yes or no questions are impossible, because he can't refuse them—doing so will imply that the most embarrassing option is the truth. In this case, that would be "yes", and the worst part is that even though Tubbo obviously wants to say no, he has a horrifying suspicion that it might not be the truth. Why did Tom have to ask that question? Why wouldn't he be less specific, and just ask if Tubbo had feelings for anyone, period? Out of any question he could have possibly asked, and the ways he could have framed it, why like this?
Because it's fucking Tom, of course. He just wants Tubbo to suffer.
"No!" Tubbo says defensively, and he makes a face as if the mere thought of this disgusts him. It does disgust him.
He prays that he's telling the truth.
"That's a lie," says the lie detector guy shortly after, and Tubbo's friends erupt in screams while his heart sinks to the bottom of his stomach. Tubbo groans, mostly to himself, and hides his face in his hands. He already feels the heat rising to his cheeks. God fucking damn it.
"Who is it?" Max rushes up to him and shakes him violently. "Is it someone in this room?"
"Actually shut up. Shut the fuck up."
"Look at this," lie detector guy says with a smirk, gesturing to his laptop screen, and Tom leans over his shoulder before laughing.
"That's a massive spike!" Tom grins.
"Look at his face! He's so red!" Harry points at Tubbo as he continues to suffocate from laughter, and Tubbo gives him a death glare while the heat on his only cheeks continues to increase. He's absolutely furious. Of course he had to do this with his idiot friends, too. Friends who happen to be ones that'll never stop teasing him about this.
"I knew he loved me back!" Tom cheers.
"It's not you. I'd rather fuck an animal," Tubbo hisses.
"That's truth," lie detector guy confirms, and the laughter continues. Tubbo wants to sink through the earth and disappear. Why did it have to be real? Why couldn't all those butterflies just have come from the fact that he's desperately compliment and touch starved, instead of it being an actual crush?
And it's not like it's anyone else. It's not someone like Coy or Bill, no, of course it's fucking not. Why couldn't it be? That'd be so much easier. Why did it have to be the possibly least suitable person to ever crush on?
There are so many reasons it's so incredibly unfortunate. One, Cellbit isn't single. Obviously. Two, he's straight. And three, he's like, what, seven years older than Tubbo? Even if he by some miracle didn't have a girlfriend, and by some even bigger miracle wasn't straight, then he's obviously still not attracted to someone Tubbo's age—Tubbo is likely a literal child in his eyes. Four, Tubbo isn't exactly attractive, and Cellbit probably won't be interested in someone less than a nine.
And five, Tubbo doesn't want it to happen even if it could. He could never date someone he'd still meet on a regular basis, because if they were to break up, that would be so awkward and noticeable to the public eye. He already made that mistake once.
Tubbo doesn't want to feel this way, but apparently, he does.
And he hates it.
But, this is how it is. He can't fight these feelings; he just has to live with them. He needs to accept that it's true, and then he needs to get over it.
So, Tubbo admits it. He has a crush on Cellbit.
And then, he accepts it.
After that, he can begin to get over it.
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