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The astral touched tadpole gripped Felas mind, and after the beating she'd just taken from the Githyanki honour guard, she did not have the mental strength to resist. Fear flooded her heart as she felt it begin to transform her. She felt a cold, shooting pain all over her body, a burning pain in her eyes, and she was unable to scream as she lurched backwards. Then the pain subsided, but a strange feeling settled over her; power, hyper awareness. She could feel every sensation heightened, and a new power brewing within her.
She looked up to see two of her companions, Minthara and Lae'zel staring; Minthara with confusion and surprise, Lae'zel with disgust and rage. Fela looked at her shaking hands and saw them covered in dark purple veins. Her heart stopped. She reached up to her face, horror and dread in her eyes. Did her face look like that too? Her fingers touched her cheek and she could feel them; those branching, bumpy lines. She froze and had to make a concentrated effort not to cry or scream in horror. Minthara and Lae'zel were literally the last people from her team who she would be comfortable to cry in front of.
The Emperor made some approving comment about her new powers, then took his leave. The team were left to patch themselves up, revive their thrice-killed wizard, and return to the mortal plane.
Fela stood in shock, unable to process what had just happened to her. She didn't even acknowledge the death of her love, Gale. It was strange the way the group had become accustomed to being killed in combat and revived, it almost felt casual and normal now. Lae'zel was the one to revive Gale as Fela stood there, frozen.
“Fela… where's Fela? Is she alright?” were the first words out of the freshly revived wizard’s mouth when Lae'zel used her last scroll to bring him back to life.
“Chk.” Spat Lae'zel. She found their sentimentality irritating sometimes. “Your beloved is not how you remember her, Gale. She has decided to become partially ghaik” the disgust and disapproval in her tone was palpable.
“Wh-what?” Gale looked around for Fela. He spotted her standing in shock, hands feeling the veins on her cheeks, and for the moment when his eyes landed on her face, he was momentarily startled. It was covered in dark purple veins and her eyes had changed, they were now completely black, no distinguishable irises or pupils. He quickly shook off the mild shock of her new appearance and ran to her “Fela, my love, are you alright?” He put one hand on her shoulder and one under her chin to bring her face up to look at him.
She could not bring herself to look him in the eyes, afraid she would see disgust or horror reflected in them. She sighed and weakly suppressed a sob “How bad is it?”
“You tell me! What matters is that you're OK, how are you feeling? Does it hurt?”
“No, no it doesn't hurt, it feels weird though. And I do feel… powerful, but I don't like it” her voice sounded strained and jagged.
“Good, good” he breathed a sigh of relief. “Come here to me my darling” he wrapped his arms around her and buried his face into her neck. “You look different, I can't deny that, but you are still beautiful to me, I swear it. I’m just glad you’re alright.”
Minthara and Lae'zel exchanged a fed up, disgruntled look. “Let's get going, I have no desire to linger here” said Minthara firmly.
The four travelled through the portal. Fela kept her head low, keen to keep her face hidden.
The others were gathered nervously around the campfire awaiting their return, and stood up when they saw the group finally step out of the portal. Fela kept her head lowered in shame.
“Thank the gods you're all alright! Well? What happened? You must tell us!” Wyll pleaded. Minthara used her tadpole to show the group everything that had happened in the Astral Prism: the fight with the Githyanki honour guard, the Emperor’s revelation that he was in fact a mind flayer, and Felas transformation.
During this silence, the blissfully tadpole free Jaheira and Halsin shared a look. Jaheira raised an eyebrow in question. Halsin leaned down to whisper “Hopefully someone will tell us with words, later.” They observed the unsettling sight of the whole group, heads lowered, some with their eyes closed, some hovering their hand close to their temple, all in dead silence.
At the moment that Felas transformation was shown to the group, all eyes fell on her. There was a mixture of judgemental, confused, and pitying looks. Gale put his arm around her supportively. She kept her head down.
“Shy about our new look are we? Oh come on, you're just trying to steal Shadowhearts thunder after her big hairdo, muaha!” Joked Astarion. His amused expression disappeared when Fela did not respond. Usually she could laugh things off with her dark sense of humour. “Good for you though, harnessing a new power, I'm sure that will help us down the road. I didn't think you had it in you”
“I didn't think you had it in you either, but I for one don't mean that as a compliment.” Shadowheart added. “We're supposed to be trying NOT to turn into illithids, not becoming more like them!” Her voice showed her disappointment and confusion.
Fela sighed “I… I didn't mean to” she said quietly.
The group fell silent. Many of the judgemental stares changed to pitying ones. Fela wasn't sure which was worse.
Wylls face in particular became full of sympathy “This tadpole… it changed you, without giving you a choice?”
“I tried to resist it, but I was so drained after that fight… I couldn't stop it from…” she suppressed a sob and lowered her head. Gale turned her around to face him and pulled her into gently embrace her, enabling her to hide her face against his chest.
“I'm sorry I judged you harshly” said Lae'zel. “That wretched ghaik will pay for his crimes, not only against Orpheus, but against you too, changing you into a hideous monster against your will.” Everyone's head turned slowly to look at Lae'zel, trying to see if she realised her unintentional insult. Gale mouthed “not helping” to her, although he realised she had not meant to be hurtful. “Let me take you back to your tent my love, you need rest and to process everything” Gale put his arm around her and walked her to her tent, putting himself between her and the group so she felt more obscured. The group spoke quietly amongst themselves, filling in Jaheira and Halsin, and turning the conversation to the revelation of the Emperor, and that he had been their Dream Guardians all along.
They reached the entrance of her tent, now out of sight and earshot of the group. “May I come in, spend the night with you? Not for anything like that of course…”
“Well of course, why would you want to do anything like that with this?” She gestures to her face, sadly.
“Oh, no! That's not what I meant just… you don't seem like you'd be in the mood… but I would love to just hold you, if you'd let me?”
“You're sweet, and very kind but… I need to be alone right now. I feel like a monster. I just don't want to be perceived by anyone for a while.”
Gale put his hands on her face and stared into her eyes “You are NOT a monster, do you hear me? You've had a slight alteration of your appearance, you've maybe gained some new powers, but you are not a monster!” His voice was firm. “You're my beautiful Fela, my love, and I think no less of you for this.”
“I believe you still love me, but how can you still be attracted to me? I'm disgusting. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to see me any more after this” her breathing was ragged and her voice was weak. She sounded like she was on the verge of tears. Her tone indicated her despair, and how irrational her thinking was in that moment.
“You are still the most beautiful person I have ever, ever seen, Fela. Believe me. I still love you, and I still desire you.”
She smiled weakly, but she was having a hard time fully believing him. “Thank you, I just… please, I need to be alone.”
His face fell and his eyes watered to see her like this “I will respect your wishes, my darling. I hope you get a good rest, and I hope to see you feeling better tomorrow morning.” He leaned in to give her a small kiss, but as she flinched, he immediately pulled away again. He wouldn't let himself feel hurt, he knew this was her issue, not something he had done, hopefully.
Something in his brain clicked, and he made a decision. “I'm sorry my love, before I go, there's something I need from your backpack, a book we looted at some point. May I?”
She nodded and handed him her backpack. “Goodnight Gale, I'm sorry I'm a little… you know. We'll talk tomorrow. I love you”
His heart lightened significantly to hear those words. “I love you too” he smiled. She closed the entrance of her tent. He rummaged through her backpack and found what he was looking for. He set her backpack down at the entrance to her tent, and brought the item back to his tent with him.
In the morning, Fela sat by Shadowheart's tent. The two sat cross legged opposite each other, Shadowheart's makeup bag in her lap.
“I don't think there's any makeup that will cover this completely… but perhaps there are some changes we could make to… improve the look”
Fela nodded. She was no longer hanging her head in shame to conceal her face from everyone, but still felt incredibly self conscious.
“Some paler eyeliner to highlight where your eyes are, and make your eyelashes stand out, and perhaps a purplish red lip to balance it out” Shadowheart continues.
She worked gently on Fela’s makeup for a few minutes, then handed her a little mirror. “I can't say that I've fixed it, but, hopefully it looks a bit better”
Fela studies her face. The makeup changes have made her look a bit nicer, it was true. The different lipstick balanced out the purple of the veins. “I think that's as good as we're going to get, thank you Shadowheart”
“Perhaps I could give you some blonde highlights too? I have some dye leftover. That way if we run into someone we've met before on this journey, and they say that you look different, you can say ‘thanks, I got highlights’” Shadowheart smirked.
Fela actually laughed at that, then she smiled warmly. “Thank you. That might be nice.”
She felt a little bit of relief. The shock of the transformation had worn off, so she was able to think about it a bit more clearly. They both made her way to the campfire to get some breakfast. Wyll and Karlach were sitting there, already eating. They smiled cautiously as the two approached.
“Hey, soldier.” said Karlach cautiously. “Feeling better?”
“Yes, the shock has worn off. Now I just have to adapt to being a little ugly.”
“Oh stop it, you are still smoking hot!” Karlach said cheerfully with a little chuckle.
Fela tuts affectionately. “Thank you Mama K.”
Wyll smiled kindly “I know what it is like to have your appearance transfigured against your will. And to be the object of stares and whispers from passers by. If you ever wish to talk about it, I'm here for you.”
“Wylliam, you're so kind, thank you.”
After eating, she made her way back to her tent to get ready for the day. On the way she bumped into Astarion. “Um, hello!” He said awkwardly. “You look a little less glum”
“I am, thank you. I'm not looking forward to walking around in public like this but, I don't want to focus on my new appearance too much, we have so much more important issues to deal with.”
“Well good. You know, you were never the prettiest one in camp anyway, so you needn't worry.” He cartoonishly tucked his hair behind his ear and smirked, risking a joke to try and make her feel better.
She smirked back “Oh, shut up!” She giggled.
Astarion smiled, pleased to see she was ready to joke about it. “It will be alright, you know. You'll get used to it.” He said sincerely.
She smiled warmly at him, it was heartwarming to see a moment of genuine kindness from him. If it had been anyone else she would have moved in for a hug, but she wasn't sure if he was ready for that. She hoped he would be someday. “Thank you, now I must go and get ready.”
Before she reached her tent, she passed Gale's. She wondered for a moment why he had not come out to breakfast yet. She stopped outside. “Gale, honey, are you awake?”
“Is that you Fela? Yes! Yes I am. Um, would you close your eyes for a moment?”
She raised an eyebrow and smirked “Why?”
“It’s a surprise!”
“OK, they're closed.”
Gale ducked out from his tent and stood up straight before her. “Alright, open them.”
Fela opened her eyes and gasped. Gale's eyes were completely black, and his face was covered in dark purple veins, which extended down his neck, and she could see them on his forearms and hands.
She was too stunned to speak at first. Gale spoke up, while gazing at her lovingly.
“I didn't want you to go through this alone. And I wanted to prove to you that the change in appearance doesn't matter to me. Do you still find me handsome?”
She sighed through her nose and moved in close to caress his face. “Gods above, Gale, of course I do. And the fact that you were willing to do this for me makes you even more beautiful to me”
Gale smiled, and put his hands on her waist. “And I will always find you beautiful, my love.”
Fela smiled back and leaned up for a kiss.
Gale leaned down so she could reach and kissed her softly, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. He pulled away then kissed her cheek, her forehead then her nose.
“Now, I believe we have a big day ahead of us. Baldur's Gate awaits us at last. We must be ready”