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It became routine ever since Rin left for Australia. When Gou woke up abruptly - eyes snapping open and breathing coming out in uneven gasps - her hands would fly underneath her pillow to grab her phone. The light shined bright on her face, the only thing illuminating the darkness as she’d press the call button and listened to the ring no more than twice before came the familiar drawl. “What’s up?”
Gou gulped. Her mouth felt dry, and she could never get her heartbeat to slow pace when she woke up like this. Not on her own. “Oniichan, I had a bad dream,” she’d say shakily, a near whisper. If it wasn’t such a common occurrence she would’ve thought Rin probably couldn’t make out her words at such a low volume.
Though he understood, a hum in acknowledgment, and Gou could practically see the easy smile on his face as it poured through his voice. “Couldn’t have been that bad. What happened?”
“You guys left…” Gou brought her arms close to her chest; the events during the night fresh on her mind, so much so she worried she was still in it. “I-I know dad is gone…but it wasn’t just him, it was all of you guys. You all died…on that ship and l-left me all a-alone.” She choked. She had tried to hold back her sob, but it tore from her throat, and once she started it was hard for her to stop. She would’ve stayed like that forever, she thought, if it wasn’t for her brother’s next words ringing in her ears.
“I’d never leave you.” Her breath had hitched then and with her room devoid of loud sobs she heard more clearly. “You know that was just a dream, right, because I’d never leave you, Gou.”
She said nothing at first before her tears returned. They weren’t loud, however. They rolled down her cheeks silently from relief rather than fear. “R-Really?”
“Of course. Now go back to sleep,” Rin told, less sentimentality in his voice and more older sibling authority that still managed to be light and airy and made Gou feel as such. “You have school in the morning, don’t you? Or are you planning on skipping? Oooo, I’ll tell mom.”
“I-I’m not gonna skip!” she exclaimed, causing Rin to laugh which made her giggle too. It always did because Rin was always there for her, even when he couldn’t be.
But this time when Gou called the phone went over two rings. By the third her stomach started to feel knotted up before her worry disbanded at her brother’s sound. It wasn’t until she actually listened that she found out it was just his voicemail. “Matsuoka Rin. I’m busy at the moment. Leave a message.”
It was different. It wasn’t chipper and carefree, or optimistic and comforting. The voice was hardened and heavy. Gou almost thought it couldn’t be her brother’s. Almost. She dialed again only to hear the same stoic response. She should be hurt. Rin was supposed to be there for her. He promised. Again, she listened. Her eyelids lowered over her jaded crimson eyes, and behind her closed lids she could imagine her brother’s smiling face. For now, this would have to do. For now, this was all she needed.
“Oniichan. I had a bad dream.”