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The brightness of her hair, the shine in her eyes, the softness of her hands, the way she'd laugh at the stupidest of jokes.
Just a little part of the things Jinx loved about Luxanna.
The redhead let out a big sigh, her usually comfortable bed leaving her tossing and turning as she tried to grasp some sleep yet, there she laid, wide awake with anguish stuck on her throat. She wanted to scream, break things, shoot some intergalatic monster, anything to take away her attention from the heartbreak within her. Earlier that day, Lux, her best friend had announced she was dating Ezreal, the blondie from the other star guardians.
Jinx's world crumbled, her usually smiley face when she was around that oh so special girl fell as she heard her starlight deliver the news, she closed her eyes and remembered the moment.
"I'm so sad you didn't come to school yesterday, oh golly I would love to see the look on your face when he asked me out! Sarah's face was sooo funny when I told her!—"
Jinx snaped out of it at that, her upbeat attitude around Lux quickly starting to fade as a coil in her stomach and tears threatening to fall as her 'bestie' mentioned Sarah Fortune.
"Wait, so you told Miss Fortune first and waited a whole day to tell *me*, your BEST friend?" Jinx said in a sarcastic tone, desperately trying to hide her hurt. So her best friend, the light of her days got a boyfriend whom she had been VERY open about disliking plus the fact that she had asked several times before if she had any feelings for the guy who was *totally* trying to court her and told first someone who Luxanna herself told her she didn't want too close to her?
"Uhm, well–! She was nearby when he asked me out and I said yes, so after leaving she just approached me so I just told her since she would know anyways..." Lux said, twirling a strand of pink hair between her fingers as she blushed at the memory. "I honestly don't even know why you said yes, you've said sooo many times about how he's no more than a friend but huh, asshole finally asks you out and suddenly you accept?!"
Jinx starting getting more agitated, the collar of her uniform and tie suddenly getting tighter as the desperately tried to undo some buttoms before she suffocated.
"I-I was in a panic! Everyone was there and I just got so nervous–" "Oh so everyone knew before me!" The redhead cut her off, her broken voice finally making it's way outside of her heart. Lux looked taken aback, of all reactions she expected, crying coming from THE Jinx was not on her list and as oblivious as she's always been, she couldn't understand the real reason why Jinx was like this.
"Hey Jinx, don't worry it isn't that big of a deal..." The pink haired guardian said, trying to get closer to her friend in order to comfort her.
"NO! IT IS THAT BIG OF A DEAL!" Jinx finally let out a sob, one that slowly turned into ugly crying as she hid her face from the girl she loved so much, weeping pathetically into her hair as the leader lf her team stayed there not knowing what to do.
"J-Jinx, it's okay, what worries you about this?" Luxanna said as she stepped closer to the redhead and enveloped her in a hug, the sobbing woman clingling desperately to her, as if this was the last time she'd see her. Screaming incoherent sentences into her shoulder that could barely let the screams of anguish be heard. The mouthing on her skin and the muted pleas of "Don't leave me!" "Don't go, please" could be just a tad more quiet to not be able to make out, yet there she was, screaming and crying into the arms of the girl she loved as she begged to not be left alone, to not be forgotten.
Jinx's memory of the moment was cut off by the beep of her cellphone, the screen lighting up her tear stained face, it was Janna, asking her how she was feeling, she mustered up the strenght to type 'im fine, feelin better now' yet she was not fine, still feeling her throat closing and the warm arms of the girl she loved around her. Oh how she longed for her embrace, even if it was only to comfort her after shattering her world into pieces.
She threw her phone against the bed, ot bouncing and faling into the floor but she had no more force to pick it up, to do anything anymore, not if as soon as she looks up the first thing she'd see was a photo of her and Lux making hearts with their hands, Jinx just didn't have the mental space for Lux to take up anymore more of it.
It was full of her.
It will always be full of her.