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‘Twas two nights before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
But not all there were sleeping, as Darce could attest,
For she’d slept on the airplane and needed no rest.
It was driving her nuts, but she made not a peep,
For her Grandmother Lewis was famed for light sleep.
But then all of a sudden, from out of the blue
Her new phone started ringing (at top volume, too).
It was Tony Stark’s ringtone; who else could it be?
No one else would be calling at quarter to three.
“This had better be good, Stark, so start talking or—”
“I just thought you should know that we’re all at your door.”
She ended the call and she pulled on her pants;
She prepared to deliver some long-winded rants
All about ‘showing up here at this time of night!’
But on opening the door— “You’ve all been in a fight!”
They stood there, all covered in bruises and cuts;
Quite frankly, they looked like someone kicked their butts.
She sighed, shook her head, pulled the door open wide.
“Never mind; you can tell me once you come inside.”
One by one, they came in; Thor, she gave a big hug.
“I have missed you, my sister.” “Me too, you great lug.”
It was not until Tasha gave her a sly grin
That she counted the people that she’d just let in.
She knew five of the group, but she’d not met the last;
“Merry Christmas,” Nat whispered as she glided past.
“You can’t give me the Captain,” Darce hissed, but too late.
“Tasha thinks,” Rogers said, “that, well, I’m your Soulmate.”
Darcy blinked at the Captain, then sat on the floor.
“This is weird. You’re, like, ninety, and I’m twenty-four.”
Tasha held out a hand. "Pay up, Stark; I was right."
“You’re a cheater who cheats,” Tony said without spite.
“So you still haven’t learned not to bet against Nat?”
Tony flipped her the bird and stalked off like a cat.
“But what I don’t quite get is why Tasha would think—”
“Darcy—” “In my defence, I’d had too much to drink.”
“So you showed her your ‘Mark?” “Well, it did have her name!”
Rogers laughed, but a voice was then heard to exclaim,
“Darcy, what is this noise? Who is this? Who are they?
You had better explain!” So she did, right away.
“Well, you know how I told you about Bruce and Clint?
I, uh, might have left out… you’ll have seen them in print.
Grandma, meet the Avengers; I love ‘em to bits.
You guys, this is my Grandma; be careful—she knits.”
Darcy’s grandmother gawked for a minute or less
Before sharp eyes went wide and she said, “You’re a mess!
Why, what have you been doing? Is that—is that blood? ”
After that, ‘twould be easier stopping a flood.
She retrieved a first aid kit and stared them all down;
They submitted to treatment with hardly a frown.
Soon they all were patched up with—she smiled to see—
Some Avengers-themed band-aids and hot mugs of tea.
“She’s like you, only worse!” Barton noted with awe.
“‘How to Herd Men and Cats: Things I Learned from Grandma.’
I could so write a book about managing you.”
“Well you could, but no one would believe it was true.”
“What? You think that the world isn’t ready to know
That when you drink too much, you curl up with your bow?”
They continued to sass and Darce tried to ignore
Both her new Soulmate’s stare and her father’s loud snore.
She was getting fed up when he quietly said,
“I’m the luckiest man in the world—or I’m dead.”
“What was that?” she asked, turning and meeting his gaze.
Her ‘Mate looked like a man in a bit of a daze.
But he gave her a smile that about stopped her heart.
“You are beautiful, sassy, and better yet, smart.
I was wondering how I could ever begin
To deserve being born with your words on my skin.”
“What? What’s this about words? Darcy, you didn’t say—!”
“Grandma, I’ve only known him for… less than a day!”
“More like ‘less than an hour,’” Bruce said into his mug.
At their Look, he gave only an innocent shrug.
“But you said you love ‘them.'” “Well, it wouldn’t have fit!
If I’d said, ‘I love them—except him—all to bits.’”
“That’s not an exact rhyme—” “You! Don’t break the fourth wall!”
“You mean don’t break it more?” “Yes! Move on; it’s still small!”
“Well, you’d best introduce us—and properly, please.”
Her Soulmate snagged her hand for a comforting squeeze.
“Grandma, this is my Soulmate, Steve Rogers. You might
Know his uniform better: it’s blue, red, and white.”
“So you’re Captain America?” “Yes, Ma’am, I am.”
“You take care of my Darcy.” “Gran, I can—!” “Yes, Ma’am.
Just as long as she’ll promise to catch when I fall.”
“Steve, you jump out—” He winked. “Well? You up to it, doll?”
“Uh, remember the part where we just barely met?
Maybe start with some coffee; we’ll see where we get.”
He just smiled. “Fine by me. I’m not in any rush.”
(And if asked, she will say that she so did not blush.)
(Clint’s a liar who lies; don’t believe him. Or Nat.
Steve does not make her giggly, so shut up, or scat.)
“Moving on! This is Bruce; he does science and stuff.”
“Darcy—” “And he’s the Hulk, if he gets mad enough.”
“I’m Natasha,” the woman broke in with a sigh.
“That’s Clint Barton; more commonly known as Hawkeye.”
“I am Thor, Prince of Asgard.” “I tazed him!” Darce crowed.
“She most certainly did,” Thor confirmed, and she glowed.
At that moment the last of them entered the room.
“Bad news, guys; we were followed.” Then, something went boom.
“Stark, explain,” Darcy said, her voice flat, “and right now.”
“Don’t have time.” “So sum up.” “Bad guys: BOOM! Us: kapow!”
Darcy nodded. “Alright. Go Avenge, but come back.
If you’re good, I might make you a post-battle snack.”
“If we’re ‘good’...?” “Don’t get hurt. Come back soon. Most of all—”
“Kick their butts!” they joined in, then rushed out to the brawl.
Darcy saw them out safely, then left to get dressed.
On returning, she said, “They’ll want food more than rest.
You don’t have enough here, so I’m going to buy more.
Can you take care of ‘rest’? I’d do mats on the floor.”
“Run along, and be safe; I’ve got things handled here.”
Her gran waved from the porch, watched her car disappear.
Darcy’d bought all her things; she was hauling them back,
And she just didn’t see the men poised to attack.
‘Twas the day before Christmas and in Darcy’s cell
She was waking and trying to block out the smell.
She remembered her shopping, a blow to the head…
Which meant now she was kidnapped, arrested, or dead.
Well, she didn’t feel dead; that crossed off option three.
And she hadn’t been super unlawful (yippee?).
That just left being kidnapped—her guess from the start—
So she’d better start finding a way to depart.
After all, Darce was proud of her long-standing reign:
‘World’s Best Self-Rescued Princess’ (except maybe Jane).
(Or, well, okay Natasha was probably the best.
The point was, Darce was awesome, and oft mis-assessed.)
Darcy looked ‘round her cell for something that might help.
What she found had her fighting to hold in a yelp.
“Do you want to get out?” “I don’t love the decor.
“But—aren’t you Bucky Barnes? Thought you died in the war.”
“I got better.” She snorted. “Please tell me you know—
No, you don’t, you poor thing. Well, I’ll be sure to show—”
She was cut off when something exploded nearby.
“Never mind; we can talk once we’re home, eating pie.”
Bucky looked like he wanted to argue; instead
He just unlocked her cell with a shake of his head.
“There’s no ‘we’ and no ‘home;’ soon I’ll be on my way.”
Darcy snorted. “Yeah, no, you’re with me, Christmas Day.
“‘Cause Steve Rogers? My Soulmate. And you’re his best friend.
So, we’re both going home for a big, fat, ‘The End.’”
“With a ‘Happily Ever After' in the mix?”
“And a huge ‘Merry Christmas to all’—just for kicks.”
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring; not even a mouse
They were all staring, scared of a furious Thor.
“What is this? Lady Darcy is missing?!” Clint swore.
Grandma Lewis was first to recover. “Calm down.
She was shopping for food, just a quick trip to town.
When she didn’t come back, I sent those two to check.
Her car’s still in the lot, with no sign of a wreck.”
“And her cell?” Tony asked. “I can have JARVIS trace—”
“On the ground, by her purse, with her taser and mace.”
“I can still have him tap the security feeds
At the least, that should give us a couple of leads.”
The Avengers got busy; they started to plot.
But with scant information, they couldn’t do squat.
So they sat, and they muttered, as hours went by.
‘Til the stars had all faded, and dawn lit the sky.
Steve was just nodding off when his ears caught the sound
Of a car driving over the gravelly ground.
A strange car pulled up and two doors opened wide.
It was Darcy who stepped from the passenger side!
But then who was the other, the one at the wheel?
In the dim light of dawn, the man stood to reveal—
“Is that—Bucky?! And Darcy? I—What? I don’t—How?! ”
“I was kidnapped, he helped me, and, well, we’re here now.”
Steve was still staring, dumb, when, impatient at last,
All her family and friends finally pushed their way past.
Rogers shook his head, smiled, and said, “Hey, there, Buck.”
“Met your dame. Gotta say, you’ve got all of the luck.”
Steve just grinned. “Don’t I know it.” “You’d better!” she called.
“Now, come on, I’ve got presents!” The kids were enthralled.
Before long, they were gathered around the large tree.
Paper flew, cameras clicked, children shouted with glee.
In the midst of it all, Darcy sat with her team;
She looked on, smiled softly, but slowly lost steam.
When she drifted to sleep, she was leaning on Steve.
(When she woke, he forgave her the drool on his sleeve.)
‘Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Lots of creatures were stirring. “Have you seen my blouse?
I’d have sworn that I left it—you found it! Thank you!
Now if only I knew where I put my left shoe…”
Darce was busily packing, amazed how her things
Had spread all ‘round the house, as if they’d sprouted wings.
The Avengers watched on, looking mostly amused.
(Steve had offered to help; she’d politely refused.)
Soon enough, she was waving and boarding the jet.
“Well, that’s one Christmas Eve that I’ll never forget.”
“You met Steve, then got kidnapped, we all went to fight…”
“So an average and boring Avengers’ weeknight.”
They all laughed as they flew through the darkening sky;
And again, when Darce pulled out her grandmother’s pie.
Darcy smiled as they ate, filled with warm, fuzzy feels.
Bucky smiled as he watched Steve fall head-over-heels.
A good Christmas was had by them all. Except—well.
Not so much for the goons who’d locked Darce in a cell.
Those who lived through her rescue soon had to contend—
Never mind. Merry Christmas! And lastly,
The End.