Chapter Text
"Now commencing the first meeting of the soulmate detective agency, with our first case- my soulmate." Chuuya said, scribbling something down in his jotter.
Ranpo looked up, mildly interested.
That didn't sould like such a bad thing. A soulmate detective agency...
Interesting.
---
Ranpo would like to consider himself a genius.
He has the grades to prove it, he does well. He's gotten into each of the universities he's applied to.
Gifted, people called him.
Whether he agreed with that assessment or not was irrelevant.
He just worked hard.
He had a good group of friends, a nice family, and was not bothered about any of the issues his friends were.
Well.
There was one issue.
Edgar Allan Poe. His year, a little older, dyed purple hair and a gothic look.
But he's getting sidetracked.
This is a casebook, not a diary.
His skills needed to be documented somewhere in the unlikely event something tragic were to happen and he decided to retire from his newfound career in detective work.
He should give an explanation. For the ease of reading, he's writing these events in third person, so when he becomes famous for his detective work, he can publish his first cases without major retelling needing done.
This'll likely be the only mention of that, so pay attention.
A week prior to the first case he was given, one of his friends, Chuuya, proposed an idea. A detective agency, for finding people's soulmates.
This is the retelling of his first unofficial case, investigating the relationship between his older sister, and one of his friends.
—
The idea first came to him while talking with Dazai at lunch.
"...Could your crush be any less obvious?" Ranpo asked dryly, watching Dazai brush off his question with a wave of his hand.
For context, Chuuya was laying with his head on Dazai's shoulder, fast asleep, while Dazai just smiled with pink cheeks, refusing to move.
"Just because you're content just dating for the title, doesn't mean you can shit on me for being friends and also infatuated with Chuuya. If I want to pine hopelessly, I will." Came Dazai's response, his voice low and quiet.
If Dazai noticed Ranpo's sharp inhale at the first part of his sentence. He didn't mention it, and Ranpo just squashed the reminder of his current predicament down.
He paused, thinking for a moment. His eyes flickered to Chuuya's arms, and the blue lines covering them.
Chuuya and Dazai were soulmates, and Dazai was doing a surprisingly good job at hiding it from the other.
"You're trying awfully hard to hide it, knowing what you do." He said. To him, the fact that Chuuya returned Dazai's feelings was painfully obvious.
He was just waiting for the eventual blow up, where they'd have a big argument and then just make up and start dating. He has money on it.
For someone who didn't seem capable of romance, he sure could pick it up off others easily.
How funny.
As he thought that, his gaze drifted across the group they were sitting with. All spaced out, they formed mini groups.
He could predict who would end up together, if he put any thought into it. He just didn't want to. He didn't care, and didn't want to know.
But a particular pair caught his eye. His sister, Yosano, and one of their friends Kunikida, sitting close together on the grass, talking in hushed tones and laughing.
They had gotten pretty close recently. Now they always sat together during lunch, and Yosano went to Kunikida's house for dinner a few nights ago.
He's not blind, or deaf, and Yosano talks about him a little too much. It's obvious she likes him, and it's safe to assume Kunikida likes her as well.
Both he and Yosano are already sixteen, but Yosano insisted she didn't care about her soulmate, and since December, has made no attempts to find hers.
Any light green mark on her skin has been brushed off with an air of carelessness Ranpo could recognise was just covering anxiety.
But with Kunikida sitting next to her on the grass, she seemed more relaxed, more sure of herself.
No doubt they were soulmates.
He hummed a little absently, thinking, forming a plan.
Maybe, if he just got Kunikida a little hurt. Nothing bad, just a scraped knee, maybe?
His attention was drawn back to Dazai as he cleared his throat to start speaking again, and he tucked that thought away as he listened to Dazai go on.
If for the sake of his sister, he could get a little involved. Just this once.
---
Arranging a day for him, Yosano, and Kunikida to hang out wasn't that hard, a few days after his conversation with Dazai and he had a plan, so he just arranged for them all to meet up the next Saturday, determined to get this over with before Dazai's birthday party.
His plan was simple.
1. Go out to a park to have a picnic in the nice weather.
2. At some point on the way there conveniently cause Kunikida to trip and fall.
3. Watch his sister and friend realise they're soulmates as a potential mediator.
4. Eat sweets then conveniently have to leave early and go home, leaving Kunikida and Yosano to enjoy the rest of their picnic alone.
5. Listen to Yosano tell him off for interfering when she gets home after spending the whole day with her brand new boyfriend.
Simple.
Until, walking to the park in his shorts and tshirt, the grey sky he had been praying would clear up quickly, started to drip rain down on them.
So instead, their picnic was cancelled.
Not that he was particularly in the mood for a picnic anyway, but he was even less happy now his plan had been ruined.
But turning around and beginning the walk back, Yosano spoke up, suggesting an idea.
"Why don't we just have an indoor picnic instead? We can sit on the floor in the living room and then we can put on some movies or play some games once we're done." She said, smiling, and Kunikida hummed.
"That's not a bad idea... are you in Ranpo?" He asked, and Ranpo looked up from where he'd been scowling at his shoes.
"Huh... Yeah, that's fine." He agreed, quickly reworking his plan.
An indoor picnic was fine, he'd just leave to his room instead.
And it turned out he didn't even need to do anything.
Because they got back home, and Kunikida slipped on the front step, falling so he scraped his knee on the metal plating at the bottom of the door frame.
Yosano was already inside, and Ranpo just watched Kunikida pick himself up without any issue, walking inside with the picnic basket that had obscured his vision and caused him to fall in the first place.
Part of the idea of having a picnic was that they'd all likely end up in shorts, aside from Yosano who had chosen a skirt and Ranpo just stared after Kunikida as he put the basket down and just cleaned the blood off his scraped knee with a tissue, Yosano not even in the room.
So much for his plan.
By the time he had lain out the blanket and the food on the floor, Kunikida seemed as good as new, and both Yosano and Kunikida were none the wiser to their matching injuries.
This wasn't his thing, apparently. He didn't want to get involved, and he did anyway, and now was only frustrating himself.
But he's going to see it through. Even if that means he has to sulk in the corner while picking at a sandwich as he waits to a moment to speak.
So he did. For almost an hour, he sat picking at the food and just adding to the conversation where necessary, letting Kunikida and Yosano talk most of the time.
Until there was a lull in the the conversation, and he took a breath, speaking.
"So, Kunikida, is your knee alright after you fell?" He asked, and Kunikida blinked in surprise, then nodded.
"Yes, it's fine. It doesn't hurt, the basket just meant I couldn't see where I was going." He said, and Yosano smiled.
"I didn't know you had fallen, I would have helped you patch it up if you had come gotten me." She said, prompting Kunikida to clear his throat and look away a little.
"It really wasn't that big of a deal, I was able to stop it bleeding really quickly." Kunikida said, smiling at her softly.
Ranpo felt a weird tinge of jealousy, and just spoke again, looking away from the pair, to outside the window, the rain pattering down.
"You should probably let her look at it anyway." He suggested casually, glancing back.
Kunikida seemed to hesitate, before conceding, and smiling.
"I suppose that's a good idea." He said, and Ranpo watched Yosano get up, and move closer to Kunikida, seeing her long skirt lift enough to show the green mark on her knee matching Kunikida's graze.
He watched the brief look of shock on Kunikida's face, and stood up himself, quickly making to leave as he heard Kunikida speak hurriedly.
"Yosano, look at your-..."
He didn't stick around for their conversation, but that evening when Kunikida left, Yosano walked him to the door, and they loitered for a while before Yosano came back, and predictably, told him off for interfering.
He closed the notebook, taking a deep breath and leaning back in his chair.
He chewed on his bottom lip, thinking through that day. His recount of the events wasn't particularly detailed, but that was quite a few days ago by now. It wasn't the end of the world.
He thought back to that moment sitting in the corner, watching Kunikida smile at Yosano so sweetly. The way it made him feel sick, with what could only have been jealousy.
This was why he didn't want to do this. To interfere. This kind of thing wasn't what he wanted to do with his life.
Unbidden, his thoughts went back to that one boy.
Ranpo looked down at his arms. Blank, just his skin tone. No bright blue lines like Chuuya has. No red mark across his palm like Dazai has.
His gaze dropped to his legs. Blank again. No light green blemish like Yosano has.
Dreadfully boring.
Broken.
With a sharp breath, he stood up, not letting that thought go further.
Instead, he marched across the hall to Dazai's room, swinging the door open and startling the brunette sitting on the floor with a sketchbook and pallette of watercolour paint.
"So, what was it about these guys who need my help?" He asked, tone carefully bored.
Dazai grinned up at him, putting his paintbrush down.
"It's Fyodor and Nikolai, and they heard about our little 'soulmate agency', and need some help. They took forever to convince." Dazai explained.
Ranpo raised an eyebrow, and settled on the edge of Dazai's bed.
"I thought Fyodor and Nikolai already knew they were soulmates?" He asked.
"Oh! They do. They are." Dazai said excitedly. He was too invested in this, in Ranpo's opinion.
"Then what's the issue?"
Dazai got up to sit on the bed as well, pulling out his phone, and showing Ranpo a photo.
Ranpo's eyes widened, and he realised what the problem was.
"Oh."