Work Text:
Two and a half years prior//
Nick- Hi Charlie. I honestly don’t know how to
start this but I came to a realisation a few
months ago. I know it’s like an absolute ass
to break up with you over text but I really
don’t know how to tell you this in person without
being weird or anything. It’s just that I don’t
think I like you like that anymore. I’m not even sure
I’ve ever really did. I talked to Imogen about
it and she said I should tell you. So, now I’m honest
with you, I’m sorry but I’m breaking up with you. Sorry.
Charlie- omg. i can’t believe it
Nick- Sorry
Charlie- it’s not like that. i was just staring at my phone to
figure out if i should text you or call you to break up. it’s just,
i think so too. thanks for being brave and doing that. i hope
we can still be friends after us not working out
Nick- Yeah, I hope so, too
They didn’t stay friends. Both of them had to deal with own things and their lives went separate ways.
Presence//
It was already pretty late but I just couldn’t sleep. I tried to drum, to read, to listen to music but nothing helped. Maybe it was because I was scared of tomorrow. Tomorrow was the first day of school after winter break and we were going to have some new form groups. I really hoped, I wouldn’t end up next to a homophobe. And so I go through my cupboard trying to find something to wear tomorrow when a notebook caught my eye. It’s my diary. I take it and lay down on my bed. Let's look at it.
10/15/21: I came out, to Tao. He was so proud and supportive.
10/23/21: I was brave. I told him. I told Nick I liked him that way. He said he felt the same.
10/30/21: I miss you. I love you. I like you so much. I always have to think of you.
11/01/21: Nick, you’re the prettiest boy I’ve ever known. You’re the boy of my dreams. You have the prettiest smile. You make every single day better. I never would’ve thought I’d find anyone like you but here I am.
11/04/21: It was so nice to call with you. I’ve missed you so much. Tomorrow I’ll finally see you again. It was so good to hear you on the phone. I love you, I love you, I love you.
11/16/21: I just imagined how it would be to go on holiday, just us two. Last night I dreamed of kissing you. I miss you. I desperately need a hug from you. Good night, my love
11/22/21: School without you was shit. I don’t know, should I write books? I love you. I just imagined how it would be like if you’ll ever read this. Or we together.
11/26/21: You’re simply the best thing that exists in my life. Or honestly the best person. I want to grow old with you. I want to fall asleep with you and live with you.
12/06/21: Next year is the first time I get to celebrate Valentine’s Day properly. Sweet dreams, angel and see you tomorrow
03/14/22: Nick, I’m in quarantine since Thursday (March 3rd). You, too. But we can’t see each other. Anyways… you’re SO sweet. You’ve created me in Sims. That is soooooooooooo cute of you. I love you more than anything. Miss you so much. Sweet dreams, my angel
06/21/22: How much I’d give that you were in my arms right now.
09/04/22: Dear diary, today the most amazing and important person to me has birthday. I hope Nick’s gonna like my present. I made a sculpture of Nellie in art class and bought a mug in the form of a dog. I just found it hilarious
09/30/22: I miss you! I miss you more than anything else. Why did you have to go on that class trip?
01/01/23: And with that, the 2022 season comes to an end’ It was the best year of my life, not gonna lie. I love you so so much.
02/21/23: What's up with you lately, Nick? You’re being so cold to me. Do you want to break up? I want to help you, whatever it is.
04/17/23: I love you, Nick. Sleep well and sweet dreams
06/19/23: I wish I had that kind of relationship Sai has with his girlfriend. I wish I’d be able to kiss Nick like that in school. But there’s this sixth Former who gets so much hate for coming out as gay. I really don’t want Nick to get hated like that.
10/26/23: Dear diary, it’s been a while since last time. Nick and I broke up. We decided that we're better off as friends.
I cry so so much. How did I not realise that I really, really liked him? Fuck!
The next day//
“Hi,” I couldn’t help but greet Nick as I sat down on my form table....
“Hi Charlie,” he replied with a smile