Chapter Text
He was late.
He hoped he wasn’t too late yet.
It had been a couple of days since Ethan had gotten back from the rush of the stage, the thrill of meeting new people that would listen to his music…
And back into a town he had not seen in months. Not that he didn’t miss it of course he did, he was glad to be back, better yet glad to be back with someone rather than coming back alone.
Tristan, the man that had by chance met Ethan as he traveled from town to town, seeing each other so often that at one point they decided it was best to travel together and make each other company.
One thing led to another and the next thing they knew was them getting together, it was rushed of course, but Ethan was content with it…
Even if Tristan never really gave any attention to the little details, if that morning Ethan had shown him a great figurine that he had made only for Tristan to make a face.
It was fine, he’s just not a fan of that sort of thing...
The bigger man told him almost every day that he wanted them to leave town already and had barely let Ethan have time to spend time with his friends, so much so that he tried to keep reminding him that today his friends had organized a party to welcome him back.
Which is why seeing him laying on the couch looking at his phone on his pijama pants and messy hair confused him.
“You are not ready yet? I told you we would be leaving by now.”
Tristan looked back at him, yawning. “What? What do you mean?”
Ethan breathed in. “The party? The welcome back party Radford and the others organized."
”Tristan seemed lost in thought, as if he genuinely wasn’t understanding a word Ethan was saying.
“Ra..Ra… Oh four eyes, movie glasses guy.”
“Radford.”
“Yeah him… I didn’t know you want me to come.” Ethan closed his eyes and formed his hands into a fist as he took a deep breath in before letting it out and relaxing his hands, forcing a soft smile.
“I was expecting to introduce you to everyone, I figured we could go together.”
Running a hand through his hair and letting out a sigh Tristan stood up, charming smile on his face as he walked towards Ethan and caressing his cheek with the back of his fingers.
“You know what babe?... I’m sorry… I guess I didn’t think about it like that…”
Ethan relaxed at the feeling, pressing his palm softly against the back of Tristan’s hand.
“I just don’t think I can go… I didn’t have that party in mind for today and I promised my sister that I would call her, you know how she often needs help around the house. Calling her is better than texting.”
Ah.. right.
He can feel his smile fading at Tristan’s words…
“Just go and have fun yeah? We can do something together when you get back!”
Okay.
As he walked, the young musician thought how he might leave the party early, while he enjoyed this get togethers, he wasn’t fully in the mood to deal with people who weren’t his friends, but it is what it is. He will stay at the bar a couple of hours and then leave saying bye to everyone at once, no need to stay longer.
He had promised to pick up Radford from work, it was so late he hoped Radford wasn't mad.
Great was his surprise when he turned the corner only to see the his dear 3D glasses wearing friend sitting on the sidewalk outside the movie theater who had been patiently waiting for him to arrive, greeting him with a smile and happily hugging him. He didn't know how to describe the feeling but the hug warmed Ethan’s spirit and for a second made him forget about how bad he felt... He had really missed Rad.
As they strolled down the streets and catched up, Radford kept asking him about his trip, about Tristan, about all of the wonderful things he lived.
“There were some ups and downs. But it was good... It was fun..I even made a new song”
Radford’s eyes lit up at his words, smile brighter than the sun.
“For real?! You HAVE to show it to me later, I love how you write music! I still have that song you played at Streber’s party stuck in my head”
Chucke. “You still remember that?... That was almost a year ago…”
“That’s how much I liked it!!!”
They laughed, it had been a while since Ethan laughed like that. With a couple more answers, their voices mixed together with the street ambiance.
It felt nice... It felt nice to be told those things... He noticed how much lighter he felt ever since they started their conversation, it was as if time had gone back and nothing that happened before they saw eachother even mattered...
He had no idea how much they walked, it felt longer than it probably was yet not enough. It wasn't that he really thought of it until he noticed they were at Radford’s place.
“Oh, I thought we would go to the bar…”
“No yeah we are I just need to go in for a second, mind if we go in?”
Ah he probably forgot something...
He laughed, shaking his head he eagerly followed him inside the dark apartment, Radford made room for him so they would go in together, his keys turning to exit the door lock and then placing them gently in a bowl next to the entrance.
It was weirdly dark, he didn't remember the house being this dark.
Thunk.
Ethan had barely noticed he tripped with something before Radford catched him by the waist. Although this wasn't much of a gesture, it was enough to make his heart flutter.
“Gotcha! Oh it’s a bit dark in here let me just…”
As soon as the warm lights filled the room, the unison of voices across the house became everything that the two men were greeted with, all of Ethan's friends were there, expecting ang giggling waiting for their cue. "SURPRISE!."
And what a surprise it was.
The party is a success!
At least he would like to think it is, Radford could barely contain the excitement while taking Ethan back to his place. He had worked on this for weeks it needed to be perfect; Kevin had criticized how much effort this was taking, the red velvet cake because it was Ethan's favourite so of course it wouldn't be a great party without it, the perfect food that he spent way too long learning how to make so Ethan would enjoy it and the perfect ambiance because he knew Ethan like the back of his hand so of course he would love this more private setting.
It's just what he would've wanted.
Okay... Maybe he did went above and beyond what needed to be done, but so what?
He would do this for all of his friends! Kevin is just bitter, yeah, that was the problem.
At least... Ethan looks happy, he has been talking to everyone about how the trip went, laughter and talking have invaded the small apartment and it makes him feel relieved.
But theres something about Ethan, it's almost like his face is not as lit up as usual. Something is off...
Did he get something wrong? Or maybe something is bothering him...
"Hey do we have more wine? Someone already finished the two bottles we had out" Kevin's voice was barely enough to take Radford out of his trance.
"Uh.. yeah i think theres some on the fridge."
What could be bothering Ethan? Was the food not okay? No, he perfected that recipe, it wasn't that.
"Alright I'll go check."
Could it be something about what happened on the trip?...Maybe...
Snap snap.
Kevin snapped his fingers in front of Radford, expecting to gain his attention and in turn making the light haired man flinch back into existence.
"What?"
Kevin raised an eyebrow at him.
"What's eating you? I thought you said this party was your magnum opus. Best party of the fall! Intimate but fun!"
Kevin didn't have to make the fun gestures to mimic him, he really didn't have to do that.
"I- dont recall saying that." He did say that.
Rolling his eyes, Kevin placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Whatever, dude you look upset, somethin' happened?
Radford's expression softened, he took a minute to think while looking away from Kevin and back to his reflection in the soda filled plastic cup he held in his hands, the dents his finger visible from inside. Thinking so many things yet nothing at the same time, just wondering if there could be anything he would do.
Kevin groans and flicks his pingers on his forehead. "Ow!"
"You are thinking too loud, just go and ask you guys are friends."
He ponders while rubbing his forehead on the spot Kevin just flickered, it felt like an awfuly familiar situation- It reminded him of...
"Yeah... Or I could do something better."
Piles of things were being thrown around in his room, there was no one there (As it's off limits!) so he could make as much of a mess as he wanted.
Where was it?... He made sure to put it somewhere special where it wouldn't scratch. He made sure of it!
He takes a minute to catch his breath and place his hands behind his neck, thinking, breathing in and looking towards his night table.
Jackpot.
Placing the small object on his pant's pocket, he rushed back to the party, music a bit louder than before. Looking through all of the people in the party, he noticed that Ethan was nowhere to be seen, his chest tightened.
Did he leave?
Before he could finish the tought, Kevin caught his attention, he was against a wall drinking while looking at him and pointing to the balcony, the door open.
Rushing to it his hand pushed the door open slightly, the sight Ethan lighting up a cigarette while standing next to his plants greeting him, the tension left his body as he felt grateful his friend had not left the party yet.
"Hey, you just told me you quit. You lied to me" He joked.
Ethan let out a small smile, scratching his temple with his thumb. "Didn't lie i just... Felt like i needed one."
He took a whiff of his cigarette, closing his eyes and puting it down, smoke coming out as he talked. "Haven't had the best couple of weeks."
Radford could feel his heart sink, the idea of Ethan being unhappy back in town becoming a bit too real, the grip on the object in his pocket tightening at the thought.
"I guess coming back wasn't really part of the plan huh? Sorry if the party was too much-"
His statement was met with a confused and panicked stare. "What? No, Radford, i swear to you the few moments i have had with you and the guys have been the best thing from being back! And the party is just... The sweetest thing everything is perfect i cant believe you remembered the food i like and the music and..." He breathed in, looking down at his hand holding the cigarette, flicking the back of it. "It's not you... It's just been a rough couple of weeks, busy and all!"
He could tell the smile that Ethan gave him was forced, he definitely wasn't okay.
Trying to not push further Radford placed himself next to him, making silent company as he rested his hands on the rail. Both stayed silent as the sound of the muffled music made them company. Looking up at the moon, there were many things he wanted to tell Ethan that he probably shouldn't, it feels like he's going to explode if he stays quiet, he opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by the man next to him.
"Sorry heh... i guess im being a bummer..."
"Wha- No! Not at all-"
As Radford turns to him, hes met with the most beautiful gray eyes hes ever seen, filling with tears.
"You are a great friend..."
He's rubbing the back of his neck, that's never a good sign, Radford knows that.
“Ethan no… I promise it’s fine, look, I just made this party because I-… We missed you so much!… And we know you are with Tristan and you are busy, it’s okay I promise we understand…”
Biting his lower lip and closing his eyes, Ethan frowns as he pinches the bridge of his nose, still managing a forced smile.
“Right…”
This isn't helping, time to bring out the big guns.
Radford prepares himself mentally, reminding of what he has allowed himself to say. His hands tighten around the rail until he feels ready to let it go, letting out a sigh he didnt know he was holding in.
“You know I… don’t think I told you but… I actually went to the bus station the day you left”
...
"...What?..."
Radford can feel his heart going so fast he can hear it, he shouldn't have said that.
Well it's too late to back down now.
"You did?"
His hands fidgeted as he locked his palms together, they were definitely sweaty and his face was getting hot, he didn't even want to think about how red it was getting, just thankful that it was darker here so Ethan maybe wouldn't notice.
“Yeah I… was gonna do something, stu- ITS NOT IMPORTANT! I just- You know, you are one of my closest friends after all- I- like, tried to get there on time to say goodbye but when I got there the bus had uh- Left! yeah hours ago-.“
Smooth, Radford.
"But where I was going with this- Where i'm going with this is..." He allowed himself to breathe and try to calm down, slowly, he reaches into his pocket.
Finally facing each other, he offers a kind and shy smile while holding the small object up for view and allowing Ethan to look.
A small wooden box.
"I wanted to give you this."