Chapter Text
Felix had always been enchanted by music. Its reaching arms would wrap around his heart and limbs. Making his heart beat to the bass and his arms swirl. His feet would tap and his head was filled with visions of the song. So, it was ironic that he was deaf.
Well, not completely, one ear had total hearing loss and the other partial. Felix was given hearing aids when he was ten and that was how he was able to keep experiencing the joys of music. The hearing aids made it so that his right ear, the one with partial hearing loss, could hear pretty much as well as a person with average hearing. The hearing aid for the left ear however, did not help much. He could kind of hear, but if was like that ear was underwater. So usually Felix just didn’t wear them. While his right ear wasn’t the best, it was good enough to hear everything clearly, just a bit quieter than most other people’s hearing.
He opted to only wear them for classes (when he wanted to pay attention), walking in public spaces (when he felt like it) and to listen to music. Felix would connect his hearing aids to his phone so that was what he was hearing. Although since it would mean he was basically deaf to the rest of the world, Felix’s mom only let him do that at home or when he was in a free period at school. She didn’t want him to not be able to hear other people and vehicles while he was outside or in public spaces. Felix mostly followed that rule. (Okay, maybe he did do it on the train, but in his defense, everyone wore noise canceling earbuds anyway, so really it wasn’t any different.)
It was good that Felix mostly listened to his mom, because if he hadn’t been using his hearing aids for their intended purpose, he would have missed the sound of K-pop music. It was coming from somewhere nearby. Down the street maybe?
Felix had loved K-pop since he discovered it on YouTube. The dancing, the outfits, the singing, the rapping?! Everything swirled together into a flawless work of art. He wanted to become an idol, dancing on the stage and singing different tunes. Which his parents were decidedly not happy about. They wanted him to, “become a doctor instead! Or perhaps a lawyer?! Maybe even an engineer! Those jobs pay well! Something that doesn’t fully rely on sight and hearing!”
This would probably be a good time to mention that he was also mostly blind in his left eye. Only a small hole that poked through the darkness of his sight near the middle of his eye could Felix see out of. His balance was also not the best. These wonderful quirks came from what the doctor said was Ushers syndrome type three. Something that he had started to develop when he turned eight. Quite early compared to other cases.
These hinders obviously made it harder to dance since it was hard to hear the song and judge where his body was compared to the ground, other dancers, etc. It only made Felix’s parents try harder to steer him away from music related things, but unfortunately for them, Felix was drawn to dance like a moth to a candle. Felix knew that it was only because his parents cared about him, but it still stung that they weren’t going to support his dream.
Another issue towards becoming an idol was that you had to be able to speak Korean. Something Felix, despite his heritage, could sadly not accomplish.
Yet, that is. He had signed up for Korean classes. His parents were pleased that he was getting closer to his heritage, though if they found out the real reason why, they would be disappointed.
Darting towards the sound, Felix found a crowd of people gathered around a dancing group. The group was most likely one of those dance cover groups that popped up on his suggested on YouTube. They were doing the song Very Very Very by I.O.I. Nice. That song was fairly new. Felix liked the dance.
The song finished and the group scattered from the middle back to the edge of the circle. A middle of another song started and quite a few people rushed to the middle. So the random dance challenge had begun.
Interesting… Of course, Felix had somewhere to be. Getting home so that his parents could talk to him about his report card. But that could wait. His parents would probably be disappointed in him anyway, what was a few minutes late to add on to that?
This was probably a bad idea. Could he even dance among a bunch of other random dancers? What if he hit someone?! It was most likely being filmed. What if someone turned him falling down into a meme?! Felix needed to get out of his head. These were only maybes.
“You can do this.” Felix muttered to himself, his ear perked for the music. He put his fingers on his neck, where the pulse was. Counting the pitter pattering. One two three four… It calmed him.
The next song to come on was WHISTLE by Blackpink. He knew this song, knew the dance. Felix ran into the circle with a dozen other people and managed, amazingly, not to hit anyone else. Dancing in front of people was even more fun than Felix originally thought. The only time he had danced in front of anyone was his parents back in primary school. While that had made Felix happy, this exhilarated him. He could feel the beat in the steps, the dancers around him in sync. (Or as much as a random dance can be.) It was too short. The music over as soon as it started. Felix wanted more. But he had to get home.
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“Hello?” Felix walked in to his house. The sun was beginning to set, giving the hallway a golden glow. It was later than he had intended. Perhaps he shouldn’t have danced.
“Felix!”
Felix jumped and spun towards the kitchen door where his younger sister, Olivia, was standing.
“Ahh.. You scared me!” Felix breathed out, hand on his chest.
“I called you three times!” Olivia frowned at his ears. “Where are your hearing aids? You should be wearing them.”
“Stop pestering me…” Felix knew she was right, but he didn’t want to hear it.
He brushed past her to the kitchen where his mom and dad happened to be sitting. Oh. They were waiting. Uh-oh.
“Felix… you were supposed to be home an hour ago.” Felix’s dad started.
“I know. The commute took longer than expected and….Sorry…” Felix winced at their disappointed faces.
“I wonder why.” Felix’s mom had her head propped on her hands, her elbows on the table. Her eyes staring into his soul. “Could it be this?”
She held up her phone. On the screen was the street dance from earlier, focused on him.
Uh-oh.
“Dancing shouldn’t interfere with your schedule. It should be the last in your tasks. You should be focused on school work. How else will you get a good job?! The choices are limited enough-…” His mom cut off abruptly, realizing she had gone too far.
Felix felt tears well up. “Here! Is this what you want?!” He took out his report card and slapped it on the table. They would find it was all As. As he had spent countless hours working for. Then he spun back towards the hallway with his bag and stomped out the door.
You’re being childish. They’ll only take you seriously if you act mature. You should’ve stayed calm. Felix’s mind whispered. He knew he should’ve tried to be the bigger person, but he couldn’t after his mom had added that comment. She knew he was trying his best! Well apparently not. But why would she add that? It wasn’t helpful at all.
Felix wiped away his tears and sucked in a shaky breath, looking up at where his feet had taken him.
The dance school. One of his friends taking dance classes here convinced the instructor to let Felix practice after hours. He was usually practicing when Felix came by.
Felix walked around to one of the back doors that connected to the dance rooms hallway and typed in the code. He then slipped inside. The place was dark and mostly quiet except for a faint beat of a song coming down the hallway. Felix followed it and came to a room that had the lights on. Like he had hoped, his friend was in there.
James was dancing to the song EXODUS from Exo. That song had come out last year and was very catchy.
Felix waited till he was done and then ran in and hugged him.
“Huh? Oh! Hi Felix! What’s up?” James was used to Felix being clingy, so he just patted his head and waited till he was finished. That is, until Felix didn’t let go and started crying.
“Whoa. Whoa… are you okay? What happened?”
Felix just shook his head and snuggled deeper into his chest.
James walked Felix over to the benches and sat him down. He had a very concerned look on his face. Felix wiped his eyes and nose and looked up at James. He had thought he had gotten all his tears out on his walk here. Apparently not. Apparently, seeing your friend just causes you to break down all over again.
“I’m.. sorry… for interrupting your practice… I don’t know why I’m even crying this much anyway.” Felix whispered, his hoarse voice sounding even deeper than normal.
James had to lean in to hear Felix. Any quieter and he was going to have to borrow the hearing aids Felix was wearing. “You’re fine. Remember all the times I’ve come crying to you?” He joked, smiling. “I’m here for you. Tell me what’s up?”
“Well you know my parents don’t support my dancing.. Today I danced in a K-pop circle and they saw the video of it. I-I don’t even know how. They never watch YouTube. Probably one of their friends… but.. my mom..she started berating me about using my time and not taking school seriously.. she said she didn’t know how I was going to get a job… especially since the opportunities are limited enough…I don’t even know why I’m crying so much. I know it’s only because she cares.. and she didn’t even say anything that bad.. yet here I am… sobbing like a baby.” Felix sniffed, wiping at his face bitterly. As if with enough force, he could stop his tears.
“It’s okay to cry. You know that? Even if what she said wasn’t the worst thing she could’ve said, it still hurt you. It’s hard to hear that your own parents won’t support you. Especially since they’ve been with you since before day one. Plus, sometimes we need to cry. It relives all the stress that builds up.” James tried his best to comfort Felix, rubbing his back.
“I guess you have a lot of stress then. Right?” Felix smiles jokingly. His watery eyes rounding into crescents.
“See? There’s that smile! You just needed that stress reliever!” James stood up. “Now what do you say about some dancing?”