Chapter Text
Fight or Flight
I’d rather die than have to cry in front of you
“I can’t do this,” Tinn said, eyes red.
It wasn’t fair. This was not fair. There was only so much Tinn could handle before shattering into a million pieces and Gun has been chipping at his cracks for too long now. Tinn wore his heart on his sleeve. Maybe that’s why he was Gun’s favourite target. Always getting teased, always having his personal space invaded. Always flushing bright red so easily. Too easily.
---
Gun was filming a bunch of mini games with his friends and Tinn was really just there to help film. Somehow though, he was roped into helping with setting up the games as well. Of course, Tinn still hadn’t really developed the ability to deny Gun anything so he accepted.
One of the games involved delivering small ping pong balls to a small basket while only using chopsticks. Tinn was supposed to just be a glorified table that held the basket. That shouldn’t have been too hard, yet, like with most things involving Gun; it wasn’t that simple.
For everyone else’s turns, he made it a little more difficult by moving the basket around. Although, that really wasn’t necessary as the boys were failing more than enough on their own. Compelled by all the gloating, teasing and jittery energy, barely any of them could stop laughing long enough to pick up the balls, let alone carry them. That didn’t stop Tinn from making their lives even harder.
However, when it came to Gun’s turn, Tinn stably held the basket in front of himself. He pointedly ignored Pat’s complaints about how unfair he was being. With the addition of Sound’s grumbles though, he reluctantly started moving the basket for Gun as well.
The second time Tinn moved the basket, he moved it behind himself, hoping this would make it up for the incriminating times he let Gun get a point easily. To his surprise, Gun didn’t flatter and easily reached behind Tinn, managing to get another point. In the process, he also pressed himself firmly against Tinn, breath tickling the small hairs on Tinn’s neck. If that wasn’t enough, he also left a kiss there, hidden from the camera. Gun’s lips never connected to Tinn’s cheek, but the action alone left him breathless and weak in the knees.
Learning from his mistakes, the next few times, he ensured the basket remained as far away from his body as possible. After a couple of Gun’s attempts failed, he became a little restless. Especially when he dropped the ping pong ball right in front of Tinn. Gun picked it up using his hands and placed it in the basket, eyes pleading for Tinn to let it slide. As much as he wanted to, too many witnesses were around and he didn’t need this particular clip to also start circling in the ‘Whipped Tinn’ compilations. So he took it out, shaking his head.
Of course Gun couldn’t just let that go. Once his one minute round was over, just before Tinn could count his points, he walked up to Tinn with a purpose. Tinn braced himself, not knowing what to expect when Gun had such a mischievous expression on his face. Nothing could’ve prepared Tinn for Gun getting all up in face with sparkling cheeky eyes.
Gun was right there in front of him, lips just shy of brushing against Tinn’s. It’s like the world freezing for a moment. No one else was around them, everything went silent and the pretence of the game disappeared. It was just Tinn and Gun, so close… yet so far away.
Tinn reacted as quickly as he could once he could function again, pushing Gun back to a distance that didn’t leave Tinn in a state of panic. Gun went back with ease, seemingly not minding Tinn at all. Still looking as devious as ever.
Tinn took a few moments to calm his heart down before resuming counting the balls. What he failed to notice in the middle of his heart almost stopping was Gun's true agenda. Only later, when Tiw messaged him that he was trending, did Tinn find out that Gun only got that close to sneak more points for himself while Tinn was distracted.
---
It was just some fanservice. Right? Tinn wasn’t oblivious to the comment section gushing every time Gun held his hand to guide him somewhere. Or the repeating offence of Gun not being able to keep his hands to himself, constantly playing with Tinn’s fingers, clothes and hair. He was tactile with everyone. Tinn wasn’t special. Gun was constantly hanging off Por, Pat and literally everyone else. Although, maybe he was just a little bit more clingy with Tinn.
The fans loved them. Tinn had seen countless edits of him and Gun on his for you page. Every time they showed up in each others videos, even if it was just in the background for just a couple seconds. Maybe that’s why Gun upped the flirting with him. Was the extra attention just for show? To get more traction? More views? More likes?
Engagement for his channel is definitely at its peak during the rare occasions Gun makes an appearance. So, he can only assume the same must be true for Gun’s. Sound and Win were the first to unintentionally use this tactic and watch their numbers skyrocket. Them playing up their dynamic resulted in more popularity. Although, they are dating now, so their actions probably didn’t require much effort on their part. Gun must have taken some inspiration. Besides, so many others also did this.
It must be, because Gun had made it pretty clear they were Just Friends. When they were still in highschool, Gun swiftly played off any attempts of flirtation from Tinn. Every time Tinn worked up the courage to confess, Gun would interrupt and call him a friend, as if to remind Tinn to stay in his lane. Know his place.
“You're such a good friend to me.”
“I’m so glad I have a friend like you.”
He always emphasised the word ‘friend’ in a way that crushed Tinn. It pierced his heart with enough arrows that there was no room to feel anything but pure despair. Gun almost never referred to any of his other friends as such. But for him, every once in a while, Gun would just throw the word at him. Tinn, my friend. Cementing how that’s all they are. All they will be. Tinn didn’t understand why he was switching up now of all time. Because friends don’t say the things Gun has said.
---
Tinn was live when he heard his doorbell ring. He hadn’t ordered any food and wasn’t expecting any deliveries today. Nevertheless, he muted his mic and left to open the front door. There, he was greeted by Gun holding Tinn’s favourite takeout in his hands.
“I was sexiled,” Gun sighed. “Can I stay the night?”
Naturally Tinn immediately assured him he was more than welcome. As Gun set the food on the counter, Tinn got out some plates. Just as Gun was about to open the containers, Tinn remembered what he was doing before Gun showed up. That did happen a lot. Once Gun was within view, Tinn tended to lose the ability to focus on anything else.
Head empty. Only Gun.
“Ahh I was actually in the middle of a stream.”
Gun tilted his head, “Like, right now?”
Tinn nodded.
“Can I join?”
Tinn should’ve known better. He should’ve said no. Insead, he blinked and his chill Q&A somehow turned chaotic. If Gun was a charming gremlin (affectionately) then in front of a camera he was a complete menace. It was especially bad on Tinn’s poor heart that couldn’t help but find Gun endearing in every sense. Although it was worse for the side of his heart still reeling back from the romantic music video he filmed with Gun.
“Ohhh what about that one?” Gun pointed to a question that led to a can of worms Tinn was actively avoiding.
Tinn feigned ignorance. “Huh? I didn’t see. Chats moving too fast.”
Before he could swiftly move on to another question, Gun read out loud, “Have you ever dated anyone?” Gun faced him, leaning in for a dramatic effect. “Well, have you?”
Guns eyes shimmered mischievously and even though Tinn was trying his damn best to keep stable eye contact, he couldn’t help one look down to Guns pink lips. When his eyes gazed back up, Gun’s grin widened. It was then Tinn realised had already fallen into Gun’s trap.
Already knowing Tinn’s answer, as soon as Tinn denied, he followed up by asking why. Cautiously, Tinn stated, “Well, I guess I never really had the time to be in a relationship. It just didn’t fit into my life.” Tinn said each sentence very slowly, not sure of which direction Gun was going to take this. He braced himself for whatever bullshit Gun was about to throw his way.
“But what about now ?” Gun asked with a tilt of his head. Tinn felt his heart rate speed up in anticipation.
He just knew Gun was seconds away from nuking his entire being.
“Why aren’t you dating anyone?”
Gun’s eyes twinkled and Tinn held his breath.
“Why aren’t you dating me ?”
---
Tinn was moving on. Admittedly slowly, but he had made some progress. Then, it seemed like one day Gun woke up and chose violence. He was always clingy, but suddenly, he was all over Tinn. Reaching for Tinn whenever he was excited or needed someone to hide behind when he was embarrassed. Somehow, persistently managing to end up by Tinn’s side despite the lack of space. Gun didn’t even look for excuses anymore. As soon as he breached Tinn’s personal space, he immediately found some way to connect them. Either linking their pinkies, bumping their knees together or simply pressing his shoulder to Tinn’s.
Naturally, all of Tinn’s hard earned progress poured down the drain. What was he meant to do when the boy he has liked for so long started showing interest? Fake or not.
But that didn’t explain how Gun acted basically the same off camera.
Was Tinn just easy? Easy to play with, mess around with because he was too in love with Gun to retaliate?
The longer Tinn stayed locked up in the bathroom, the more he spiralled.
After laying himself bare before Gun, helping him whenever he could, providing a shoulder to cry on when Gun’s bottle full of emotions overflows. Is this what he deserves? Getting hurt for what? Amusement? Was Gun playing with his feelings on purpose?
Tinn tried his best to not take anything seriously. Occasionally, he’d even try to return the energy but Gun’s reactions alternated between hot and cold. Sometimes he’d shy away, creating distance. Other times he’d playfully coo, tickling Tinn’s chin. Either way, to Tinn, it always felt like some sick joke. Some unserious interaction between friends that left him a bit more breathless than it should.
Later however, when he’d settled down and reminisced, he’d feel sick to his stomach. Felt bile rise up his throat, pain felt in the depths of his soul. Because it wasn’t real. Gun didn’t mean anything. Nothing Gun did meant what Tinn wanted it to mean. Tinn was just the lovesick idiot who fell for the bait over and over again.