Chapter Text
song used in this chapter: Do you want to die together - stars
A/N: if POVs change i’ll put —— before it :)!
5th of June, Thursday
7:30pm
Three years ago Regulus Black created the Band “Ultraviolet” the name didn’t have a specific meaning, they decided on it using a sheet of paper, with 6 potential names on it and Barty rolling a pair of dice.
They started off in really small pubs and even sometimes on the street, but they didn’t care about the money they received nor the amount of fans they had, it was the thrill of Performing their songs together on a big Stage.
They worked really hard to be where they are now, performing in one of the most popular bars in London, it was called “The Façade” and was a meet up spot for queers and punks. Their next gig was supposed to be this Saturday.He picked up the newest news paper and groaned.
Band “The Haunting” Performing this Saturday at “The Façade”! you don’t wanna miss it! insiders say that it’s a pretty good Band with hot lead singers and great gigs! Saturday 10PM don’t be late!
Regulus rolled his eyes and clenched the new paper in his hand, stood up and threw it right in the trash. The owner of the Bar Pandora had to cancel their performance for this weekend because apparently this “the haunting” band payed a lot of cash to perform there, He wasn’t mad at Pandora he was mad at that stupid new comer band who stole their night.
He sat on his bed and grabbed his favorite black leather boots, grabbed a pack of cigs and made his way towards their “headquarters” as they called their shared apartment just to be a bit dramatic about it.
He grabbed a cab and started browsing online about this Band, but it turned out they weren’t really well known yet, it was a 5 member group, 3 men 2 women, they debuted a year ago and quickly gained some popularity, apparently it’s because their lead singer is really pretty, regulus checked their instagram account and saw a ginger haired girl with freckles, who seemed to be the lead singer.
There was a blonde haired girl for the drums, a tan one with silly glasses as the guitarist and a tall one with scars as the sub vocalist, he looked like a thug. he nearly chocked on his spit as he saw who was playing the bass , he didn’t know wether to cry or laugh.
8:30PM
He decided to ignore the problem for now, at least for as long as he can, which wasn’t long because his friends immediately asked him a ton of questions as he made it inside, he was the last to arrive as the traffic was really tight this night.
Barty and Evan were sitting on the couch while Dorcas put some plates and delivery pizza on the table “and you’re sure it was him?” Regulus looked at Dorcas for a quick second and then nodded “positive, he may not recognize me anymore but i sure as hell recognize him” He was talking about the bassist in that other band, he had looked at their instagram account and recognized his brother immediately, he didn’t really know how to feel about this situation, especially after he finally got over him and this situation.
The room was filled with a sort of atmosphere Regulus couldn’t really define, he wasn’t sure if they felt pity with him or were just mad because they couldn’t play this weekend, he took a slice of pizza and turned on the TV “shouldn’t we go beat their asses?” He rolled his eyes and faced the others again “you know what happened last time, can’t risk you going to jail again Barty” this wasn’t the first time another band attempted to play at that pub, it’s not like they were the only ones playing there, but they were the only Band performing on Saturdays and most people who went to the façade knew that.
“come on it was not even for a week”Barty said and Regulus actually considered it for a moment, he shook his head slightly, they have to keep up their image after Barty beat up some band who insulted Evans skills a year ago, he still gets goosebumps if he only thought about it.
Evan and Barty were always a particular pair, they never showed it much but they cared for each-other more than some other couples our age do. The TV was turned off by Dorcas who now looked at the others seriously “we can’t just let this slide tho can we? we have to do something” Regulus just shrugged, he had no idea how to react to their situation or what they should do, he hadn’t prepared for this, not prepared to see his brother again.
“come on you’re the leader say something” sighing he looked at her, he didn’t like being called the leader just because he got them all together “to be honest i have no idea what to do now, we hardly even know them, so maybe we could just check their next show out?” it was a stupid idea to just show up at their performance but he felt like he had to do something so this was his plan.
“we can go there on Saturday, panda won’t mind, then just check them out, no hard feelings and no violence how about it?” it was a bit silence for a while before they all nodded in agreement “if you’re fine with it then so are we boss” Evan winked at him and Regulus just rolled his eyes. so they decided to meet in front of the pub on Saturday, at 10PM.
6th of June, Friday
10:30 PM
Tomorrow was the big day, it wasn’t actually that big of a deal but Regulus couldn’t keep his cool all day, too nervous for tomorrow to even function properly, he was nervous about seeing his brother again after all those years, he was sure he wouldn’t even recognize him now and he wasn’t sure if he wanted him to anyway.
He had started his transition 4 years ago, at 18 when he was finally able to leave his family’s house, he had never felt more free, he cut all ties with his relatives and he started going to therapy and slowly step by step transitioned into who he was today, he didn’t really stop hating himself now but at-least he didn’t feel so damn angry anymore.
He knew deep down that he didn’t despise Sirius, he never had, he had just felt so betrayed and left behind that he got so angry and just sad all the time, he was lucky that his friends had his back at the time and that he didn’t go through all of that alone.
Regulus started writing his own songs at the time Sirius left, he didn’t have much else to do beside studying so he thought it would be fun to start writing, and it was fun, good for him too, writing helped him get over the hardest times in his life. He was scared that if he saw Sirius now, he would forgive him too easily.
8th of June, Saturday
6PM
“you okay reg?” Evan walked in and sat next to Regulus on a beige colored couch, He just nodded, lost in thought “you think he will recognize me?” Evan looked at him and shrugged “honestly, even if he does, he will see how strong you have become and that’s not a bad thing, don’t stress yourself too much” He reassured him, at-least he tried and now that Regulus thought about it, he might be right, what was he so afraid of?
He picked up some dark chocolate and started chewing on it, he always ate it when he was feeling stressed, it just became a habit that he couldn’t let go off “thanks ev” he said and mentally prepared for tonight.
8th of June, Saturday
9:50PM
Regulus ended up stressing over what to wear for about 3 hours straight but in the end decided on a basic black hoodie and some pants, he put on some eyeliner and packed his cigs and his lighter which was sort of his lucky charm, they had arrived a bit early so they were now just sitting at the bar with pandora chatting them up.
“i don’t know who they are, they just stepped in here offered a bunch of cash to perform here and only left when i accepted” she had said, Regulus just sighed heavily and ordered another shot of whiskey while being on the look out for his brother. ———————————————————— Behind the stage was a nervous Remus Lupin who now lit his 9th cigarette for the night, they never performed for such a big crowd before, and even james, who was usually super confident about things like this, seemed to be a little bit distracted today, either way the had to do this, for Sirius if not for them.
A few months ago the 5 Of them were sitting in their Studio when Sirius mentioned a Band who was recently gaining a lot of popularity played in their favorite Bar across the street, they never saw them there since they only came on Fridays, this wasn’t the reason why they decided to play here tonight tho, Sirius saw that the lead singer looked awfully like his younger sister, just that she now had short hair and a way deeper voice.
Remus obviously wasn’t as oblivious as Sirius and knew that his little “Sister” probably wasn’t exactly his little Sister anymore, he didn’t tell him tho since it wasn’t his place to tell him.
Sirius wanted to Perform here because he knew that if he did it on a Saturday, his sibling would be curious who would Dare to perform at the façade on their night, Remus thought that making your sibling potentially mad probably wasn’t the best way to apologize or reunite with them, but he kept his mouth shut. Remus looked into the crowd from behind the stage, just taking a quick peek in hope it will calm his nerves, which it didn’t.
There were probably around one thousand people in the bar (he might be exaggerating a bit) but he still felt pretty nervous about this.
“you ready rem?” Lily smiled at him as she walked towards him, he returned the smile “i’m fine, just a bit nervous you know” he shrugged and faced back to the crowd, locks of black hair catching his eye. ———————————————-
Regulus held in his breathe as the light over the stage turned a bright red and blue, he was nervous about his brother but that didn’t change the fact that he was also just genuinely curious about the other bands talent.
They got on stage and Regulus immediately saw his brother, grinning at the glasses man beside him. The ginger haired girl in a red dress stood in the very front with the thug looking guy next to her.
The music started to play a slow song, and the crowd looked at them in awe.
I love you to the day i die
So don’t die today
Please don’t die today
Everything but you is an ugly lie
That’s not how you pray
That’s not what you say
If i’m here when you’re gone, i’ll fall apart
Stop your crying now
It was a Duet between the ginger haired girl, who seemed to be the Lead singer and the thug, in his mind Regulus knew he shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, the man was objectively pretty, but the scars across his face made him look sort of dangerous.
The crowd seemed to not think so, they talked about how the lead singer was really pretty and the voice of the scar-man (Regulus decided it may be less offensive if he called him that instead) they thought he had a great voice, Regulus personally tried to not just focus his gaze on Sirius, but it wasn’t as easy as expected, He grew a lot during the years, he thought to himself.
Stop your crying now
Whats the point of life without my heart?
You’re not dying now You’ll survive somehow
Regulus heart stopped the moment he made eye contact with Sirius, he didn’t know how long it lasted but it certainly felt like a really long time, his mind was blank, the only thing he knew was that he had to leave. Now. So he ran. ———————————-
Sirius knew it was a reckless idea to spend all his savings just to perform here, without knowing if he will actually see his sister, still his hopes were high and so was he, he was so nervous he had to take a few hits of Marlene’s joint, doesn’t matter he performs better like this anyway.
Here he was now, standing on stage, even if he had other intentions to come here, he felt so much excitement rise inside of him to be able to perform in front of so many people, he grinned at James, who grinned back and then focused back on the crowd, Lily began singing and Sirius scanned the crowd in hopes to find his sister, he saw on instagram, when he researched their band that she had really changed so it would be harder to recognize her but he still tried.
Just as the beat dropped he found her, he would recognize those eyes immediately, they were his after all, the eye contact didn’t last long when his sister ran outside, Sirius felt a big lump in his throat.
————————————
“fuck fuck calm down fuck” Regulus clenched his fists and sat down on the ground behind the bar, he didn’t know what happened just that he felt like he was suffocating, his ears were ringing and he felt tears prickle in his eyes “take deep breathes regulus deep breathes” he told himself again and again, the talking just made him feel worse but he had to somehow convince himself that he was still alive and not dying any moment.
He didn’t know how much time passed but he came back to his senses when he heard people crash through the door beside him, fortunately it was just Evan and Dorcas, now looking at him with a worried expression.
“What happened in there, are you okay?” Regulus hated that question, wasn’t it obvious he wasn’t okay? he hated saying it out loud. saying out loud that he was not okay and needed help. “yeah Rosie, i’m fine now, got a bit overwhelmed in there you know” He guessed he wasn’t completely lying, he was fine now at-least he didn’t have a panic attack anymore.
“is the show over? is HE still in there?” referring to Sirius he asked his friends, he didn’t know exactly how much time passed so he asked just in case.
“no they’re still inside, the first song ended but they’re probably gonna keep going until 11” Dorcas said in that tone that he always loved about her, no sound of pity or disappointment, she just sounded unbothered which was a good thing for him.
“we can go if you want, Barty is still inside but we can get him to come out really, it wouldn’t be a big deal” Evan spoke in a soft and careful tone, Regulus thought about it for a second, but his friends seemed to be having fun earlier and he didn’t wanna ruin it.
“nah i need to be alone for now, you guys have some fun” He attempted to give them a smile, which probably just looked really forced. His friends looked at him for a second before agreeing and heading back inside.
He in-fact did not go home yet.
He sneaked backstage to just take one closer look at the band, he admitted they were quite good, not as good as them but still alright.
Sirius looked a bit taller than the last time he saw him, not a lot, just a few inches, he grew his hair out so it was put loosely in a bun, he had a few tattoos and even a nose piercing.
Regulus gulped, maybe he should talk to him, but he was terrified, scared that Sirius didn’t want to talk to him, scared his reasons about him leaving were because of Regulus, scared that it was his fault that the family fell apart.
Scared that he really was a failure.