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Serphine didn’t know what to do without her here. Normally when she felt this bad, she would curl up in bed, hold her plush cat tight against her chest, and lose herself listening to Orianna’s song from the other room. Orianna’s song has been a constant in Seraphine’s life for so long now. Being always able to hear the smooth synths and rising tones never failed to make Seraphine feel secure.
There was no one here now, though. It was just her, alone, in her bed.
Seraphine’s sinuses hurt from crying. Her pillow was soggy with snot stains, her face was wet, and she wanted her girlfriend back.
She shouldn’t want that. Their relationship just wasn’t working anymore, staying longer would make it worse, but she wanted a hug from someone she trusted. She wanted to be someone’s. She wanted Orianna.
Seraphine wondered what Tocker was doing right now. Treble and Bass were sleeping on a shelf across the room, their snoring perfectly mirrored, but Tocker usually stayed awake when Ori was awake. Maybe Tocker was pressed against Orianna to help her feel less alone, or maybe he was hiding someplace high up so that he could be sad by himself. She couldn’t decide which was more likely, and it hurt too much to keep thinking about him.
A lot of things hurt right now. Seraphine didn’t want to keep rotting in bed all day, but there was no way she was getting up. She felt like a blown out speaker. The lights off made her feel small, and the blankets made her feel alone, and she couldn’t bear giving up either of those things.
A choked sob escaped Seraphine’s lips when she thought about how pathetic she was being. Another two followed it, before she rolled over and let the tears spill onto her pillow. She hated this. She hated herself for what she did. She wanted to be hated.
Star Guardian training was tonight. Orianna would be there. What would Senna and Xayah think?
Seraphine closed her eyes. Orianna would always remind her to take deep breaths when she got too emotional. Take deep breaths and focus on the feeling of the air. Her breath couldn’t make it all the way to the bottom of her lungs. Her throat was too tight or too mucusy.
She pressed her head into her stuffed animal’s soft skin and gave it a pout that it didn’t deserve. Seraphine couldn’t show up like this. After another tight squeeze of her plushie and a few more deep breaths, Seraphine grabbed her phone and opened Senna’s contact.
Seraphine: I’m so sorry Senna, I can’t make it to practice today :,(
Seraphine: I promise I’m really sorry, I’ll make it up somehow
Senna: What’s going on, Sera? Ori just said the same thing.
Seraphine: Oh no is she okay
Seraphine: Is Ori okay?
Senna: She’s not with you? What happened?
Seraphine: Senna please don’t be mad at me okay I promise I didn’t mean it
Senna: Seraphine, tell me what happened.
Seraphine: I broke up with her
Seraphine: I’m sorry
Senna: Okay
Senna: Are you okay?
Senna: Do you need anything?
Seraphine: I don’t know :((((
Seraphine: Ice cream for breakfast?
Seraphine: To lie in bed forever?
Senna: Alright, training is canceled today.
Senna: I’m going to go check on Ori, I’m sending Xayah to make sure you’re okay.
Senna: If you don’t let her in, I’m never letting you decide what music we listen to ever again.
Seraphine: Fair
Seraphine: Sorry
Seraphine: Sorry for getting in the way of training :(
Senna: It’s alright. We’re a team, we’re meant to be there for each other.
Senna: Xayah says she’ll be there in ten.
Senna: Just hold on for her.