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"You sure I look okay?" Buck said, flattening out his button up once more and turning his attention back to Tommy, who looked as handsome as ever towering over Buck. They'd been seeing each other casually for a little while now and as much fun as Buck was having, there was something missing. What that was, he'd never been completely sure. But Tommy was nice. He was good for Buck. And who was he to turn that away?
"Evan. Relax. Isn't it just Eddie and his girlfriend? What could go wrong? You look great." Tommy, always relaxed and confident, something that drew Buck to him in the first place. That overwhelming confidence that radiated to everyone around him. How could Buck not be completely smitten with it?
Buck laughed, albeit nervously, and then knocked at the door. Now, Buck wasn't a huge fan of Marisol. There was something about her that just seemed off but he never questioned it. He wasn't the one who was dating her, he wasn't the one exploring whatever this was. But he could put up with that pit in the bottom of his stomach because this was Eddie. And he really did love Eddie.
Loving Eddie hadn't been easy at first, but once it happened? Nothing could come between that. He'd fucked up, he'd made mistakes, but that love they had for one another wasn't going anywhere. Eddie had made it clear to him when he'd came out that they would always have each other. It would all be fine.
When Eddie opened the door, he looked at Buck with a somewhat confused expression. "Hey, guys, why didn't.. you just use your key?" he asked, getting out of the way. Buck had thought about that, but this was meant to be a nice dinner together. How could he just barge in like that?
"Must've slipped my mind," Buck said, his nerves getting to him and yet he could feel Tommy's hand on his back, guiding him into the house. This was a place that always felt welcoming, but with Marisol here, Buck was conflicted. It didn't feel like it was his place anymore and yet those feelings weren't going to be explored. No, now was not that time. "Chris having fun with Kiaan tonight?"
"Oh, you know them, he texted me, like, four times and then radio silence, so, they're probably busy gaming or something. Come in, get comfortable. Good to see you, Tommy," Eddie said, reaching out to take his hand and shake it before he motioned towards the dining room. "Food's almost ready, so." Buck noted that, though Eddie's voice might seem chipper, something was off. Something had happened and he couldn't put his finger on it. Not like he could press or ask questions now, though. No, this was meant to be a fun night for the four of them, as couples, to unwind from their jobs. Eddie didn't need Buck pestering him about a little change in his tone of voice.
He'd let it go. They could revisit it later. Buck never forgot.
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Dinner was unceremonious. It wasn't bad but Buck could feel the tension between Eddie and Marisol and the pointed looks that she'd sent in his direction from time to time. There was a quick moment when Buck was happy to learn that Eddie had, in fact, prepared most of the food because Buck's mind instantly worried Marisol might've done something with the food. But, that was ridiculous. She wouldn't do that. Even if she had something against him, she wouldn't.
But if she was, wouldn't she do it to the person's food who she'd been giving pointed looks through the whole meal? Needless to say, Buck didn't eat much.
Either way, the tension was so thick that Buck was certain he could cut it with a knife and there was no doubt in his mind that Tommy could feel it, too. It wasn't that Buck knew Tommy completely, not the way that he knew Eddie, but it was hard not to be a little on edge with all the fake laughter and smiles. It all felt wrong.
"This was a really nice dinner, you two. We should do this more often," Tommy said, speaking up first after the last plate had been cleared. Buck was drowning in his own thoughts, thinking that, no. They shouldn't, especially not if she was going to be staring at him like that all night. Instead of speaking what was really on his mind, though, Buck just nodded his head and turned to look over at Eddie.
"U-Uhm, yeah. I think.. d-definitely we should," Buck stammered out. And that seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back, the thing that send it all crashing down around them. Buck had no idea what he'd just done, but it was certainly about to change everything.
"Of course, you'd look at him when you'd say that. It's not like you don't know what we were talking about before you got here or anything," Marisol finally spoke up and Buck honestly didn't know what they were talking about. Was that why Eddie had been acting so off? Was that why things just didn't sit right in the pit of his stomach?
Buck's eyebrows rose and just as he was about to say something, Eddie jumped right in, leaving both Buck and Tommy in the wind on this one. "No, he doesn't know. And neither does Tommy, so, can we please stop this? Alright? We can talk about it later and-" but he was cut off by Marisol's huff of a laugh.
"I promise whatever was said.. I-I didn't have anything to do with it?" Buck spoke up, trying to play damage control, trying to make the rest of the evening salvageable so that they could make a quick exit.
"You didn't know that you're all he's been talking about since that bachelor party? He says to me, it's the first time I've felt alive in a long time," Marisol said, sounding hurt, and all Buck could do was sit there. No, Eddie hadn't mentioned that to him. He hadn't told Buck anything about that night, actually. It was all a blur mixed with alcohol and singing and a lot of just letting themselves have fun, letting themselves be free. She kept her eyes on Buck and her own expression softened when she realized that, no, Buck hadn't known. "You really didn't know, did you?"
"N-no. No, I didn't," Buck said, shaking his head and looking over at Eddie, who now had his face buried in his hands. Tommy, to Buck's great relief, was silent through all of this, taking it as it was. He felt awful for bringing Tommy into this, but, in Buck's defense, he hadn't expected the night to take a turn like this. Not even for a second.
Marisol was nodding her head as she got to her feet and looked between them. "He's got feelings for you and, if I had to guess, you've got feelings for him, too. He's all but said it to me before you arrived." Buck was stuck in the spot he was at, blinking a few times as he looked over at Eddie once more, taking him in.
It wasn't like Buck to feel like this, to feel like everything was spinning out of control and there was no way for him to reign it back in. Buck looked down at the table. She was right. Buck had always had a deep love for Eddie, one that would triumph over every single relationship he'd ever have. Eddie and Chris would always come first. Years of them working in tandem, being each other's person, Buck knew that feelings lingered. He knew that burying them deep down under everything was what he'd needed to do, too. Now, though, this put a new spin on things and Buck wasn't sure how to navigate it.
"I-I.. really?" Buck finally said, mustering up the courage to speak. It was then that Eddie finally removed his face from his hands and nodded his head, meeting Buck's stare. He couldn't think of anything more to say to that. He let out a soft breath and mirrored Eddie's actions, nodding his head as well, trying to make sense out of all of this.
"And you do feel the same way, don't you?" Marisol finally said, breaking the heavy silence that befell on the room. Buck nodded, blinking slowly. He wasn't going to lie, not now. How could he? He looked over at Marisol and watched as she hurried off into the kitchen. Eddie, who hadn't said an actual word during this entire thing, got up.
"I'm really sorry, I'll.. you can see yourselves out." Eddie's voice was still heavy, bogged down, like he knew this was going to be a tough conversation in that kitchen, but Buck wasn't about to press for further information. He got to his feet as soon as Eddie disappeared into the kitchen, the two of their voices carrying and Buck knew they had to get out, or else they'd be intruding on something.
Tommy, still just as stoic as ever, was right behind Buck once they got out onto the front porch. He sighed and Buck already knew what was coming. "You know, when we first met, I thought the two of you were already together," he admitted, Buck's eyes glazing over a bit with confusion. He'd known even before Buck had? "It's okay, Evan. I like you. You're a good man and you've got this.. amazing heart. But I think we both know that it doesn't.. belong to me."
And Buck nodded his head. That was what was holding him back, that was why he didn't think he'd ever be able to utter the words I love you to Tommy. His heart belonged somewhere else.
"I'm really sorry. Y-You're a great man, too. I had fun. Y-You.. helped me realized who I am and I can never thank you enough for that." Buck shook his head as he watched Tommy hold up his hand, a gentle smile on his face, one that was kind and welcoming and safe. They could be friends after this. Buck had faith in that.
"Don't apologize when you did nothing wrong. Falling in love with your best friend and having them love you back? That's kind of the dream, isn't it?" Tommy said as Buck nodded his head. It was the dream and Buck still couldn't believe that this was all real. But it was.
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Buck had said his goodbyes to Tommy, allowing for a quick kiss to his cheek and that was that. It was done. He wasn't quite sure how things had went between Eddie and Marisol, but he'd definitely heard the words it was always going to be him muttered from the other side of the door. And before anyone could even really react, she was gone, too, leaving Buck and Eddie in an awkward position. Alone. Together. After just realizing and vocalizing something that had been building for years. The groundwork was finished, laid down during many nights of the two of them sitting and talking, beer in hand, letting themselves get vulnerable with one another. It was in the trips that Buck took with Chris to the zoo and all the dinners they'd shared at the loft or Eddie's house, a place where Buck knew he'd never be a guest.
How had he been so blind to what was right in front of him for years?
He really did have Chimney's bachelor party to thank for that and, as amazing as Tommy was to him, his heart was somewhere else. It'd always been somewhere else and deep down, he knew that love was never going to blossom from that.
Taking in a deep breath, Buck turned towards Eddie's front door and, for the first time that night, he saw a genuine smile on the other's features. Eddie looked relieved, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Maybe he felt like Buck did after that first kiss with Tommy? A sense of being free. Buck cleared his throat and that spurred Eddie on, giving him some courage to speak.
Or that's how Buck saw it.
"You know what we should do?" Eddie asked, a casual tone in his voice that came as a surprise to Buck. Was anything about this casual? Really?
"Uhm.. N-no? What should we do?" Buck asked, his own nerves starting to get the better of him. It was fine, though. It would all be fine.
"Let's get a burger. I'm hungry." The words hit Buck's ears and, instantly, Buck could tell that nothing was going to change. Well, really, everything was going to change, but the world they'd built for one another, the one where they could be themselves and love openly and freely, that wasn't going anywhere. Now, there would just be a new layer to it, a new chapter in their story. It was something Buck was very excited to uncover.
Bowing his head and letting out a small laugh, Buck nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets, shuffling his feet on the front step. "Y-yeah. I could eat." He shifted his gaze right back onto Eddie's. Before anything else could be said, Eddie was grabbing his keys, locking the door behind him, and then motioning for his truck. Of course, Buck followed.
When had Buck not followed Eddie?
By the time they were at the small drive in, they'd listened to their usual songs, talked like big things hadn't just happened, and through it all, Buck felt like his heart was going to burst right out of his chest. He watched as Eddie put the truck in park next to the speaker and, because he knew Buck like the back of his hand, he ordered both of their favorites. Buck rolled his own window down to get some air going through the cab and Eddie, gorgeous Eddie, allowed his eyes to meet with Buck's.
Eddie didn't say anything at first, he just held out his hand, offering to Buck. On instinct, Buck reached for it and linked their hands, knitting their fingers together. He watched as Eddie brought their joined hands up to his lips, pressing a kiss to it, almost as if he were promising to Buck that they could do this, that things were going to be okay.
And Buck knew they would.
"I had another idea," Eddie said, nodding before he looked away from Buck and out the front of window. Buck was eager to hear this and raised his brows, humming to acknowledge that he'd heard him, that he was interested in what the other was about to say. "I think we should go on a date. Start slow. There's no rush. I know it's you that I want and I hope it's me that you want."
And even before Eddie could say anything else, Buck was nodding his head and clearing his throat. "I-It is. It's you that I want."
Eddie nodded and smiled, melting Buck's heart just a little more at how genuine it all was, how it felt more real than he'd ever seen before. Buck loved it. "Then.. we should do this right. And no, this doesn't count as a first date. If it did, we'd done this a million times before." Eddie laughed and shook his head, Buck completely entranced by what was being said, what was going on.
It didn't feel real.
"Y-Yeah. I'd like that," Buck said, a laugh falling from his lips. Eddie didn't let go of his hand after that. In fact, for the entire night, aside from when they were eating or Eddie was driving back to his place, their hands were joined together. Buck knew that this was the start of something good, something that had been in the works for years, and now? It was finally his for the taking. He'd never guess that this was how Eddie's dinner party was going to end and yet, he couldn't have been more excited for the future and what it meant for them.