Chapter Text
Hyunjin wasn’t dumb.
He wasn’t.
He knew the moment he laid his eyes on him that his life would be turned upside-down.
That’s why he tried his hardest to stay away, but no matter what, he found himself gravitating towards him.
If he was the sun, Hyunjin was just another planet gravitating around him.
Relying on his wisps of warmth to survive.
He made Hyunjin feel worth it like his hard work and perseverance were leading him in the way he wanted.
His whole life he had felt worthless, only looked at for a pretty face and charming personality.
Nothing else.
But not Felix, he looked at him and saw pure talent. All those, “You're nothing but your looks” melted into “Your dance is mesmerizing, Hyung”.
Felix made him feel warm.
It was a feeling Hyunjin hadn’t felt in a long time.
Hyunjin knew he liked Felix.
It was obvious in the way his eyes followed his every move and how when he had the chance he would press himself against Felix, seeking his solace.
But no matter how he noticed Felix’s touch linger on him a little longer or his eyes shift to his lips, he knew Felix didn’t like him.
Felix was touchy with everyone.
It wasn’t bad, the boy sought physical affection.
But it made Hyunjin's gut squeeze and his eyes narrowed at whoever Felix hugged.
It was so wrong to feel jealousy towards his teammates, but he couldn’t help it.
It was Felix.
“Hyunjinnie, how do you do that move again?” Felix asked, his breaths coming in short gasps.
He stood up from his spot on the floor and taught him the dance move again.
They were preparing for their new comeback, Clé: Levanter.
One of their members ended the contract with the company in the middle of the preparation so they had to reassign the parts and re-do the music.
They didn’t have time to mourn the loss of a member since they pilled with so much work and JYP held high expectations for them.
They fought against everything to debut as a 9-member group but in the end, they lost one.
He knew Felix was distracting himself with training and practicing but it worried Hyunjin.
Felix barely ate before but now he skipped meals.
So, he decided to go with Felix to practice the new song and keep him from overworking and tiring himself out.
“Lix-ah, we should stop here.”
Hyunjin said as he took a swing of water.
“I-I still haven’t finished with this part, let me just-”
He stuttered pointing at the computer.
“Felix.”
Hyunjin looked at him sternly.
Felix sagged and lay down on the floor.
“I miss Woojin, Hyunjinnie”
He sighed and laid down next to him, “Me too, but we can’t afford to overwork ourselves. We can mourn his absence once we finish up with this comeback.”
Felix hummed.
“Take care of yourself Bok-ah, no more overworking. Alright?”
Hyunjin smiled at him. And stood up, holding his hand out.
Felix stared at it for a bit before smiling and taking his hand.
Now this smile reached his eyes.
After the music video came out they performed Levanter on Music Core.
They gathered around the TV with tired limbs while Chan put on YouTube and pressed their music video.
Despite how tired they were, they still cheered when it started and made teasing remarks about each other on screen.
They each studied their facial expression, they had to put a lot of emotion into their dance and acting/lip-syncing the lyrics.
If they didn’t do it correctly, their song wouldn’t be taken seriously.
“Ohh, here come a Hyunjin and Felix couple dance!” Seungmin teased with a smile.
Hyunjin shot a glare at him, he was the only one who knew about his gigantic crush on Felix.
He was the one who recommended Hyunjin for that part, originally it was Leeknow who was supposed to do it with him but Seungmin changed it.
Felix laughed at Seungmin and Hyunjin just smiled fondly at the enchanting smile.
They forgot about Seungmin’s comment quickly, Changbin’s part was next and they teased and complemented him as a way to say, ‘You did good’.
Both Changbin and Hyunjin had a joint part and Felix commented, “So handsome Hyunjin”.
Everyone else agreed but Hyunjin was too busy looking at him in shock and a pink blush on his cheeks.
They kept on with their usual banter until Jeongin and Felix’s part.
“Ya, Felix’s solo!” Han tossed a teasing look toward Felix and he blushed saying something about ‘I didn’t even do much’.
Hyunjin frowned at that but locked it away for later.
He focused on how the foundation barely concealed his freckles, you could still see little spots if you knew what you were looking for.
Hyunjn always loved how Felix danced, he danced with concentration and precision.
It was beautiful.
Felix was beautiful.
The music video soon ended after that scene and they all chatted excitedly about behind the scenes.
Hyunjin only listened, laughing when something was funny or trying to crack a joke when it was appropriate.
They continued watching their first performance and watched it intently, checking over for any mistakes.
Their attitude toward the MV was different, it's not like they didn't work hard on both but it was nerve-wracking to see something online without checking it a bunch of times.
It was obvious what everyone was thinking at the end.
“Hyung.”
They were alone again, chosen to clean the kitchen after a small game to decide who would do it.
“Hm?”
“Do you think my freckles are pretty?”
Hyunjin turns toward him.
Felix had tears in His eyes and soap suds on his hands.
His heart broke.
Hyunjin dropped the dishes he was holding and walked swiftly over to him.
Tears were now running down his face.
His hands rested on Felix’s face as he wiped the tears away.
“They are beautiful Yongbok-ah”
He whispered as he pulled him in for a hug.
“You are beautiful”
“Jinnie? Are you in here?”
He heard a soft voice at the entrance of the practice room, but he ignored it either way.
He wanted to be alone.
Hyunjin was reading comments on his Instagram post from the other day
@bts_is_so_real_xoxo
Bully
@yeojin_._5
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
@glorvvvs
WE ALL HATE YOU🤮🤮🤮🤮
Some of their fans were accusing him of bullying and saying he only got into the group because of his looks.
He remembers cigarette smoke and a sting in his cheek when he told his mom about his dream. A sneer on her face.
“You're only good for your looks anyway.”
Hyunjin didn't want to be perceived that way. He worked hard to get to where he is, and so have the other members.
He was being selfish.
He knew the other members were getting hate along with him but the sadness that clawed at his heart was for him only.
He was so selfish.
Hyunjin felt a hand on his back.
“Are you okay?”
Felix.
He made everything better.
If he was there.
“You're so much more than your looks and if they don't believe you then I do, I'm always on your side Jinnie.”
Hyunjin could move mountains if Felix was right beside him.
Hyunjin wasn't dumb, far from it actually.
He knew.
Hwang Hyunjin was in love with Lee Felix