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The sting of defeat wasn’t bad enough, but to be hauled away, bound, through a tunnel, by Barbarus of all people? The man had four armpits and smelled like he hadn’t washed any of them since she first met him.
Vertigo walked to the end of the line of captives and mutates to stand beside Rogue.
“Well if it isn’t the Creator’s favorite toy,” she taunted, smugly smiling at Rogue. “Here I thought you dumped him, yet you return to save him?”
Rogue was grateful to be so far behind the others, she didn’t think any of them would hear. “Erik? You have him too?”
Since her last encounter with Mystique, Rogue’s memories, once locked away for her own survival by the Professor, had broken free. She remembered everything yet she said nothing, how could she tell the X-Men that their greatest enemy was her former lover? How could she tell Remy?
“Never fear, you will see him soon, then you BOTH will see Lani.”
Rogue threw the other woman a scornful look, to mask the squirm of guilt “Take off this here rope and we'll see who gets a peak at ol’ Lani in hell first.”
The other woman’s eyes flashed with rage and for a moment Rogue thought the woman would throw her off the cavern path and into the river below. Then the rage was gone, replaced by a smile that seemed more dangerous than her rage.
“I will enjoy seeing the Master have his way with you,” Vertigo purred, walking ahead of Rogue so the mutant could only scowl at the mutate’s back.
***
They walked for hours until the group emerged from a cave beside a lake; Rogue felt her heart seize in her chest as she stared at the familiar structure. She had never paid attention on her flight to and from the Savage Land, she assumed it had been somewhere in South America, some uncharted part of the rainforest.
She remembered the months she spent in that castle, months where she learned, not how to control her powers like her Momma wanted, but how to love herself. And him…Rogue wondered how she could ever have forgotten that…
A shove from Barbarus and Rogue was pushed towards a boat the others were already boarding. It was then that she began to wonder on the fact that she had her powers while she lived here with Erik, how could she have lost them now?
Across the lake, up the stairs, Rogue was hardly aware of her present company, her mind too lost in the past. She and Erik had sat on that shore beneath the stairs, their feet in the lake while he explained the stories of the constellations to her.
She came back to the present with the slamming of a cell door. Looking around she recognized the room as Erik’s laboratory, but the room had been changed, it felt tainted. No longer was it a clean orderly room full of neat piles of notes and beakers. Now it was dark, gloomy, the roots in the walls that had once given the room a warm Earthy feeling seemed sick, possessed.
“You join us at last.”
The soft almost metallic voice of Mr. Sinister pulled Rogue’s eyes from the bastardized room. She saw, standing behind the albino scientist, Morph, the Professor, and…
Rogue’s heart screamed for him, for her Erik. He was bound, but this was his home, this was his place, their place , Rogue’s hatred for Sinister grew to a near boil inside her. The villain’s taunting words and Scott’s bitter retorts were wind in her ears.
She stared through the bars of her cage at Erik, he would not meet her gaze, she looked around at the others caged with her, wondering if any were working to escape. She had once thought her powers made her weak, vulnerable, it was Erik who had shown her the strength they gave her.
As she looked at her teammates Rogue’s green eyes found Gambit. Her heart clenched, guilt slithered inside her. She liked Remy, maybe more than liked him, but that was before, now…now everything seemed so confusing.
Then Erik’s voice came from across the room, Rogue looked to see a claw-like machine moving towards the bound man.
“Do it Sinister, but shut up and be quick about it.”
Rogue wanted to ask Remy what was happening but before she could Erik was screaming. A beam from Sinister’s machine struck Erik in the chest, Rogue had heard him cry out in pain before, it was a sound she never wanted to hear again, this, however, was worse than anything she had heard from him before.
Rogue opened her mouth to cry out for him, but no noise came out. Charles’ voice said the words for her, “Stop it Sinister! You’re destroying him!”
Rogue rushed to the bars of her cage, praying that Carol’s strength would return to her, she had to get out. Erik needed her. He needed her but she left him. She had abandoned him and now he was going to die while she watched. The machine powered down and Erik hung there not making a sound.
‘ He’s not dead, he can’t be dead! I just remembered you!’
“Magneto’s strength flows through me!” Vertigo stood, exuberant, from a chair in the corner Rogue had not noticed. The green-haired woman looked at Rogue, her smile wicked, Rogue knew what was coming, she would be made to suffer.
Bracing herself did not good, Vertigo only needed to gesture and Rogue felt waves of nausea rack her stomach, a high-pitched ringing filled her ears, the world turned on its head. Her teammates were not spared from Vertigo's anger, they cried out in pain just as Rogue did.
“The room. It spin!” Gambit shouted.
Rogue grabbed onto the Cajun, leaning on him for support. “Gambit…” she began, but couldn’t find the words in her scrambled brain, she slipped to the ground, but Gambit caught her, holding her as best he could.
The pain ended; slowly the world stopped spinning, the nausea left but was replaced by a feeling of helplessness.
“Ah’m frightened, Gambit. Ah don’t know how to fight them without my powers,” she admitted, looking up into the red eyes of the man she might love.
“Take her next,” the cruel voice of Mr. Sinister was back, Rogue looked and saw with resignation, him pointing at her.
“Be brave Chere,” Gambit whispered to her soothingly. “Gambit never say this to anyone before, but Gambit loves you.”
‘ No, not now, not here!’ Those words out of Gambit’s mouth might have elated her at any other time, but here, in the place where she had met Erik, where she had kissed him, made love to him, it wasn’t right. Gambit’s words were spoken in a desperate farewell, it would be overshadowed by the memory of Erik whispering the words to her because he couldn’t go another day without saying them and the night that followed.
Gambit kissed her. Her eyes closed, her heart lept, but it was a feeble thing, this was her first kiss since Erik, why did it have to be here, with Erik possibly lying dead across the room? Gorgeous George used his powers to stretch his arms into the cage to grab her. Rogue uttered a single word of useless protest as she was dragged away and restrained against the wall alongside Erik, the Professor, and Morph,
Rogue stared defiantly at Sinister as he approached her, placing a cold hand under her chin, forcing her to meet his red gaze.
“So beautiful, yet so strong.”
Rogue was ready to spit on him when a voice called from the balcony, “Well, I always did think I was kinda cute. Nice of you to mention it.”
Wolverine was there, Rogue wondered if she had noticed he was missing. Distracting the Nasty Boys and Mutates Logan gave Rogue a chance to look at the man beside her. Erik’s head was hanging but his chest was rising and falling, he was alive!
“Erik,” Rogue called as loudly as she dared. “Erik, please, wake up.”
He stirred ever so slightly, she called for him again, with a groan he raised his head to look at her.
“R-Rogue?”
She beamed at him, her name on his lips was a song in her heart.
“Yes, don’t worry, we’re gonna find a way out of this.” Rogue tugged, uselessly, at the vines holding her captive.
Hope seemed to die when the newly enhanced Vertigo brought Logan to his knees, but the timely arrival of people of the Savage Land gave Wolverine time to free the Professor and Morph. The pair destroyed a machine and Rogue felt the strength and speed of Carol return to her.
She broke free of her restraints and joined the fight, her heart alight knowing Erik was alive. Rogue, the X-Men, and Magneto fought the Mutates and Nasty Boys until the combined efforts of Scott, Jean, and Morph obliterated Sinister. It was then that the citadel rumbled, began to crumble.
Rogue caught a falling beam before it could crush Gambit. Cyclops ordered them to escape, Jean guided the group to where Mr. Sinister had parked his plane.
“Go!” Erik shouted through a strained voice. “I shall try to keep this place from falling apart.”
“Don’t be dumb,” Rogue growled at him, wrapping her arms under his armpits and hoisting Erik into the air, carrying him to the plane.
Rogue practically threw him into a seat as the door to the place closed and it ascended. Rogue found a seat of her own, watching as the citadel where she had learned, laughed, and loved collapsed into rubble. Rogue knew a piece of herself died as it fell, a part of her past, while now remembered, forever lost to her. She turned to look at Erik who was staring at her, their eyes met and she knew he was remembering their time together there too.
***
“Rogue.”
She turned at the sound of her name, she spotted Erik standing at the edge of the jungle foliage, near to where she hovered, helping set beams to rebuild the primative houses in the Savage Land. Her heart lept with joy while shrinking in fear at the same time. She flew to him, following him deep enough in the trees so they were away from prying eyes.
“Rogue, my beloved, quick there may be little time,” Erik began, as soon as she touched ground. “How much of our relationship do you remember?”
Rogue was taken aback by the anxiety in his voice, “All of it,” she admitted.
Erik ran a hand over his face, while hard to see under his helmet, he appeared several shades paler than usual. He reached out and took her hand, a surprisingly forward gesture, before he had always waited for her to come to him.
“We must hurry to Xavier, your memories must be removed before it is too late.”
“Too late for what?” Rogue asked, cocking her head slightly, while allowing Erik to pull her towards the village.
“Your mind Rogue, you cannot remember your past or your life is forfeit.”
Surprised Rogue halted, her hand slipped out of his loose grip as he took two steps ahead. Feeling her hand slip from his, he turned back to her, alarmed.
“The Professor told you that?”
“Yes, after you saved me from the ship; when I was attacked by Sentinels,” Erik said, dismissively. “My love, please, I will not stand aside and watch you die!”
Rogue stepped up to him, her face calm, “Erik,” his name spoken in her voice had an immediate effect, something she could not identify replaced a bit of the fear in his eyes. “It is alright, my mind is safe, I got some…unexpected therapy from my Momma. Who, incidentally was Mystique, did you know that?” Rogue demanded, her voice becoming accusatory.
“You didn’t?” Erik raised an eyebrow, an amused smile breaking the stressed lines of his face, the smile melted away too fast for Rogue’s liking. “You are certain that your mind can handle the memories?”
Rogue nodded and the remaining fear left his blue eyes, his face relaxed, Rogue started to raise her hands then hesitated. Erik saw the movement and understood, he closed his eyes, Rogue brought her hands to either side of his helmet and lifted it off his head. She held the metal object in one hand and used the other to brush strands of hair out of his face.
“I remember you,” Rogue whispered, her voice thick with emotion as she took in his familiar features.
Erik opened his eyes and the pair stared at each other, Rogue’s heart was pounding in her chest. He was so close to her, their chests were nearly touching, she was looking up into his face and saw a familiar hunger blooming in his eyes. Then suddenly it was gone and he was stepping away from her, Rogue felt as though she had awoken from some kind of trance.
“I am glad you are recovered, Rogue,” Erik said, in a formal tone she was not used to. “I would have…grieved, should you have been hurt on my account.”
“Erik…”
“I was surprised to see you with the X-Men, when you left me a note telling me you were leaving, then never came back, I admit I did not think to look for you there.”
“Ah wasn’t trying to hide from you! Ah…ah just needed some time, I went back to my Momma and the mission…it wasn’t what I thought it was. The Professor found me after, when I was scared, confused, not knowin’ who I was. He helped me, and since then, the X-Men have become my family.”
“I see,” his voice was level, but those brilliant blue eyes of his had a sadness pooling in their depths. “I am happy for you, beloved. Does your new family know all that you have remembered?”
Rogue felt her stomach drop, her face paled.
“No…ah…ah haven't brought it up.”
“Were you planning to?’
“Ah-ah don’t know, things were so much simpler when I didn’t have my memory,” Rogue ran her hands through her thick hair as she spoke, pacing to try and work through the storm inside her.
“Then I shall make it simple,” Erik extended a hand to her. Rogue hesitated, checking to see if they were alone, then laid her gloved hand above his. Erik raised it to his lips to kiss her covered fingers gently. “I do not know you, you do not know me.”
Erik lowered her hand letting it slide out of of his touch, his expression was neutral, calm, casual, but his eyes… She saw through his mask, this pain was worse than anything Sinister had done.
“What? Pretend it never happened?” How simple a concept, yet it tore at her all the same. A creature gnawing, scratching, clawing its way through her insides, it would not be satisfied until Erik’s lips were on hers, his hand buried in her hair, hers removing her gloves to touch his skin.
The memory of another kiss broke through her desire for Erik, a kiss mere hours gone, a kiss followed by a declaration of love…
“You lost your mother to death, your father to pride, and as for the Brotherhood, I can only imagine what sort of family they were but they were yours all the same yet you left them. I will not take another family from you.”
“Erik…”
“No, bel---Rogue,” he took his helmet from her and donned it, the face Rogue knew so well became hidden in shadows. “It is Magneto.”
An aura of magnetic energy flared around him and Rogue watched him float away, toward the X-Jet, wondering how much of her heart he was taking with him. She turned away, dried her face and walked back to the village to help with the reconstruction.
***
“Dere you are Chere,” Gambit said enthusiastically upon spotting her some time later. “Gambit be thinkin’ he was gunna have to start burning down tree’s lookin’ for you if you didn’t turn up.”
“You're gunna lose that big nose of yours if you don’t learn to keep it outta other people’s business,” Rogue tried to force levity into her voice, a lightness to disguise the hole inside her.
Gambit’s brow furrowed and she knew she had failed.
“Sumthin’ the matter?”
“Nah, it's just these darn dino plants,” Rogue scoffed looking at the jungle foliage with disdain. “I think I might have an allergy.”
Beast, who had been passing them carrying the last of their supplies onto the plane, paused in his tracks.
“An allergy?” he set down his bag and approached Rogue looking concerned. “You weren’t bit by anything, were you?”
Rogue took a step back, waving her hands in front of herself in a gesture of protection and dismissal, not trusting that her eyes weren’t red.
“It’s nothin’ Beast, ah’m alright.”
“She is alright Hank,” the Professor appeared at the top of the plane ramp. Rogue wasn’t sure if he had been eavesdropping with his ears or mind. “Rogue will be well, she just needs rest. Rest and time.”
Rogue looked up at Charles, their eyes met. He knew, he knew and was protecting her. Rogue wasn’t sure if she was happy for the support or ashamed she needed it.
“Gambit will look after her,” Remy through her a smile as his arm went around Rogue’s shoulders. Then in a quieter voice, “Gambit will always look out for you.”
She wanted to confess, to tell Gambit everything, to admit she loved Erik and fly to him rip the helmet off his head and kiss him until their lungs collapsed.
Yet the feeling of Gambit’s arm around her shoulders, his coy smile, the shine in his red eyes…
Rogue rolled her eyes dramatically and stepped out from under his arm, turning to smile at her Cajun.
“In your dreams Swamp Rat, only thing ah need looking out for me less than you is an actual Swamp Rat.”
The pair continued to banter as they boarded the plane, Rogue placed her hand on Charles’ shoulder as she passed him. It was meant to appear to others as a casual motion, but she squeezed his shoulder ever so lightly, trying to thank him. He reached up and patted her hand, also appearing casual, but as she looked into his eyes she heard a voice in her mind.
‘ I am here for you Rogue.’
She gave him a sad smile and took a seat on the plane. Rogue knew they would go home, she would make her excuses and cry until dawn, she may even cry the next night too, but eventually the pain would pass, she had made her choice, she chose her family. Rogue hardened her heart, looking out the window of the jet, saying a silent farewell to both the Savage Land and her Erik.