[Podfic] Cold Read of you make me a complete mess

he_xuan: Are you seriously clearing your schedule because you think this guy is hot?
hua_cheng: not that it’s any of ur business but i just appreciate his talent. i’ve always said that
he_xuan: You found out about him 10 minutes ago.
hua_cheng: i will not be responding to any questions at this time
OR: the tgcf group chat au we presumably all need

Notes:

For Rifle.
Inspired by you make me a complete mess by livinginaworldofnoise

AUTHOR'S NOTES: helloooooooooo this au was inspired by the disney movie starstruck and then immediately became nothing like starstruck but still,,,, vibes. and the title is from the 5sos song complete mess bc,,,,,,, vibes
do i think hua cheng would be more smooth at texting than he is in this fic?? maybe if he had 800 years to get used to the idea of xie lian existing, but alas it's a modern au <33 good luck simp king
PODFICCER'S NOTES: Thanks as always to livinginaworldofnoise for permission to record whatever I want (muahahahaha I will def use this for evil) and writing the funniest shit in this fandom! Plus group chat AUs which we all know are my favorite. :D :D :D

Chapter 1 Chapter Text

Cold read of you make me a complete mess, chapter 1, by livinginaworldofnoise

21:56 | 17 Mb
Also available to stream or download here

AND NOW THE FULL RECORDING ALL IN ONE!

3:58:12 | 151 Mb
Also available to stream or download here

Chapter 2 Chapter Text

Cold read of you make me a complete mess, chapter 2 by livinginaworldofnoise

20:34 | 16 Mb
Also available to stream or download here

Chapter 3 Notes:

PODFICCER'S NOTES: Sorry, it was hot all day here and I was dying, this is a mess of a recording, please ignore everything. :-)

Chapter Text

Cold read of you make me a complete mess, chapter 3 by livinginaworldofnoise

17:24 | 13 Mb
Also available to stream or download here

My wife snapped a pic of Weebly prior to me taking my shirt off (whew) so here it is!

Chapter 4 Chapter Text

Cold read of you make me a complete mess, chapter 4 by livinginaworldofnoise

17:36 | 14 Mb
Also available to stream or download here

Chapter 5 Notes:

PODFICCER'S NOTES: I forgot to add the transformative works builder yesterday, so here it is today! And a link to what this Voiceteam nonsense is all about

Chapter Text

Cold read of you make me a complete mess, chapter 5 by livinginaworldofnoise

16:58 | 13 Mb
Also available to stream or download here

Weebl just WAITING to climb into my lap once I'm done recording lol.

Chapter 6 Chapter Text

Cold read of you make me a complete mess, chapter 6 by livinginaworldofnoise

19:48 | 15 Mb
Also available to stream or download here

Voiceteam podfic mess + two kitties!

Chapter 7 Chapter Text

Cold read of you make me a complete mess, chapter 7 by livinginaworldofnoise

15:15 | 12 Mb
Also available to stream or download here

Chapter 8 Chapter Text

Cold read of you make me a complete mess, chapter 8, by livinginaworldofnoise

17:20 | 13 Mb
Also available to stream or download here

Chapter 9 Chapter Text

Cold read of you make me a complete mess, chapter 9 by livinginaworldofnoise

13:26 | 10 Mb
Also available to stream or download here

CAT TAX: Weebl belly!

Chapter 10 Chapter Text

Cold read of you make me a complete mess, chapter 10, by livinginaworldofnoise

17:54 | 14 Mb
Also available to stream or download here

Chapter 11 Chapter Text

Cold read of you make me a complete mess, chapter 11, by livinginaworldofnoise

22:25 | 17 Mb
Also available to stream or download here

Chapter 12 Chapter Text

Cold read of you make me a complete mess, chapter 12 by livinginaworldofnoise

18:14 | 15 Mb
Also available to stream or download here

Chapter 13 Chapter Text

Cold read of you make me a complete mess, chapter 13, by livinginaworldofnoise

18:10 | 14 Mb
Also available to stream or download here

Actions

Kudos

Ash206, AnxietyIsMyJam, Nightmare_bug, babysmatte, herbert93, Soapbox_Carnivore, Random26Person, yeojinscult, problematic_frog, Zen_is_tired, yiilingpatriarch, SillyMAn_WithAhat, strawberiecream, Crazyboatrower, Kanna_Opposite73, Faeriel_LovesCats, space_poet, chaniinobu, MathematicalSparkles, MarthaMatz_i_dontlike_i_obsess, CaptainBlueStar, TheQueenOfFish, SewDragon, iuri, Nomipanini, LunaLazuli, Ajhwal, Kiqana, Azura_lights_18, Izuka_Bakugou, saffronbunbaker, foundbyjohndoe, daisydiversions, xiaokuer_schmetterling, Makanani808, Madhatter11, Anime_mangalover, Fiona_20202, Morrigan_chic, BOO_the_AHH, Banan_prawdziwy_banan, GuessillLive, Linisen, Filler_Words_pdf, Cats_ghosts_and_dnd, Chrononautical, Bella_Zocas22, PinkPlum1153, morttimort, Salion, and 36 more users as well as 18 guests left kudos on this work!

Comments

Pages Navigation

livinginaworldofnoise on Chapter 1 Sat 13 Apr 2024 06:33AM UTC

omg spectacular <3333 tysm for the read!!’ i am bedridden bc i just got my wisdom teeth out so this was a very nice treat! i love this fic hehe and it’s so much fun to listen to

Comment Actions
- Reply
- Thread
1. kisahawklin on Chapter 1 Sun 05 May 2024 02:57PM UTC
  
  Sooo behind on comments, but... ugh wisdom teeth! I assume you are much better now and everything is great, and I hope you're doing delightfully <3
  
  Comment Actions
Rifle on Chapter 1 Sat 13 Apr 2024 04:26PM UTC

If you're going to be in bed at a "moderately reasonable hour" I'm gonna need to press F to doubt.
I lost it at "my beautiful tropical fish" & four & then six bros chilling in a hot tub, the comedy is delightful, 10/10 read, 10/10 story.

Comment Actions
- Reply
- Thread
1. kisahawklin on Chapter 1 Sun 05 May 2024 02:58PM UTC
  
  Why you gotta expose me like that!!!!!!!!
  This story is AMAZING, I absolutely love livinginaworldofnoise's stuff, it's all just fucking HILARIOUS
  
  Comment Actions
GoschateWabn on Chapter 1 Sun 14 Apr 2024 05:18PM UTC

God, he's such an *idiot*! 🤣🤣🤣

Comment Actions
- Reply
- Thread
1. kisahawklin on Chapter 1 Sun 05 May 2024 02:58PM UTC
  
  But an idiot we love! :D :D :D
  
  Comment Actions
Faeriel_LovesCats on Chapter 1 Sat 08 Nov 2025 01:59AM UTC

This was the first podfic I ever listened to and absolutely got me hooked, I am now returning for a fourth listen and figured it was about time I left a comment since I can’t add quadruple kudos! (Though I so would, this is my declaration of quadrille kudos.)
Thank you so much for this incredible recording! The way you read the texting and group chat and also just all the characters and everything is so wonderful and funny and it delights me every time! I love cracking up alongside you and tip my hat tk you for being able to get through a cold read of livinginaworldofnoise’s hilarious fics without it being exclusively unintelligible laughter! ❤️❤️❤️

Comment Actions
- Reply
- Thread
1. kisahawklin on Chapter 1 Sat 08 Nov 2025 03:04AM UTC
  
  Awwww, yay! I love this one! livinginaworldofnoise's stuff is amazing and you're right that it is difficult not just to laugh my way through them (though I feel like I pretty much do that). I'm so glad that you found podfic through this, what a great thing! :D :D :D
  
  Comment Actions
2. 1. Faeriel_LovesCats on Chapter 1 Sat 08 Nov 2025 09:57AM UTC
    
    😁😁😁❤️❤️❤️
    
    Comment Actions
livinginaworldofnoise on Chapter 2 Mon 15 Apr 2024 03:10AM UTC

omg yeeeeeeeeeee hahahaha amazing read tysm <33 love some miscommunication in a nontraditional form (but it has inadvertently made this fic so difficult to write LOL altho i am like halfway thru writing the next chapter hooray)

Comment Actions
- Reply
- Thread
1. kisahawklin on Chapter 2 Sun 05 May 2024 02:59PM UTC
  
  Oh man, I can totally see that! I love the trope but wowww just... thinking of things that could be interpreted as BOTH matchmaking and breakup material.... best of luck my friend!
  
  Comment Actions
indigotigress7 on Chapter 2 Wed 01 May 2024 04:18AM UTC

When I started listening to this I accidentally skipped ahead and landed on your (phenomenally delivered) "feng_xin: Yeah mu qing stop flirting with hua cheng / mu_qing: This chat makes me feel homicidal" and it made me laugh, and then when I got the context I laughed even more. Lovely podfic as always, and I'm excited to listen to more chapters!!

Comment Actions
- Reply
- Thread
1. kisahawklin on Chapter 2 Sun 05 May 2024 02:59PM UTC
  
  Hahahahahahaha oh, this fic makes me laugh so much, so many good lines! Glad you're enjoying it, and I'm excited to read more chapters (when they show up- chapter 8 should be going up today).
  
  Comment Actions
livinginaworldofnoise on Chapter 3 Mon 15 Apr 2024 05:26AM UTC

delightful thank u for the read!!! also u are so real i despise even the slightest bit of heat and 70 degrees is certainlyyyyy too hot!!!! it was 80 here today and i wanted to perish
i feel like gc aus can be really easy and quick for me to write if i have enough inspiration for a particular chapter (mainly because i only really like writing dialogue and texting aus are entirely dialogue) but if i don’t have specific inspiration then it’s hell on earth trying to write a single line

Comment Actions
- Reply
- Thread
1. kisahawklin on Chapter 3 Sun 05 May 2024 03:01PM UTC
  
  Have you done screenplay writing? I know not all of them are all dialogue, but it seems like that was a lot of it? It was something I learned somewhere at some point lol but ANYWAY the point is I think you'd be brilliant at it. <3
  
  Comment Actions
2. 1. livinginaworldofnoise on Chapter 3 Mon 06 May 2024 04:36AM UTC
    
    no i never have but that sounds super cool!! i feel like it would def be up my alley hahaha <3 that’s so nice thank you!!
    
    Comment Actions
Kelinka on Chapter 3 Tue 16 Apr 2024 02:24AM UTC

Does that count as flashing our… ears? LOL Kisahawklin thirst-trap wasn’t in my chapter 3 bingo cards but life (like Hua Cheng) is just full of surprises.
I’m enjoying this new cold-read and so happy you’re branching further into TGCF fandom. The angst is what fuels our fandom and keeps us going strong!
Thank you for taking time to share this story, and your talents, with us all!

Comment Actions
- Reply
- Thread
1. kisahawklin on Chapter 3 Sun 05 May 2024 03:03PM UTC
  
  Ahahahahah I guess I was!!! I ended up putting my shirt back on after the recording because I caught a chill from the air con lollll.
  I'm glad you're enjoying the cold read - it is a delight and truly one of my favorite things to do! And angst... yes, I usually like it a lot, but I feel like MXTX angst is soooooo heavy, sometimes it is very crushing. I'll just have to keep fun things like this handy so I can slip into humor and fluff when the angst gets to be too much.
  
  Comment Actions
livinginaworldofnoise on Chapter 4 Tue 30 Apr 2024 04:35AM UTC

omg hehehehe this is tooooo fun thank u <3

Comment Actions
- Reply
- Thread
1. kisahawklin on Chapter 4 Sun 05 May 2024 03:03PM UTC
  
  💜💜💜💜💜💜
  
  Comment Actions
livinginaworldofnoise on Chapter 5 Wed 01 May 2024 05:05AM UTC

yeeeeeeeeeeeee thanks for the read <3 thrilled to hear ab ur police chase adventure and good luck w the voiceteam stuff! also hiiiii weebl you are sooooo cute (as i typed this one of my cats just jumped on the bed i think he can sense that i’m betraying him by complimenting another cat but there’s nothing he can do abt it fr)

Comment Actions
- Reply
- Thread
1. kisahawklin on Chapter 5 Sun 05 May 2024 03:07PM UTC
  
  God that police thing was the craziest thing, I felt like I was in a movie.
  Weebl is an asshole (albeit a cute asshole) so really, he doesn't deserve any compliments! Sling them back to your cat from me instead!
  
  Comment Actions
indigotigress7 on Chapter 5 Wed 01 May 2024 05:54PM UTC

Ahh lovely chapter! The anecdote about the police cars at the beginning was so entertaining lol, and I do think He Xuan is just as deadpan and inadvertently funny in TGCF as he is in this fic so you're in luck :)
Fantastic voices in this chapter as always!

Comment Actions
- Reply
- Thread
1. kisahawklin on Chapter 5 Sun 05 May 2024 03:08PM UTC
  
  Ohhhhh I am so glad to hear He Xuan is like this in the book! I am very much looking forward to meeting him! Or getting to know him better anyway.
  Thank you, I'm so glad you're enjoying this!
  
  Comment Actions
livinginaworldofnoise on Chapter 6 Thu 02 May 2024 06:01AM UTC

yay voiceteam stuff!! and the kaleidoscope vision thing sounds wild i’m glad ur vision is okay now!! thank u for this chapter it was a delight and i laughed while listening to it which angered my cats very much bc they hate the sound of mirth <3

Comment Actions
- Reply
- Thread
1. kisahawklin on Chapter 6 Sun 05 May 2024 03:09PM UTC
  
  ugh the kaleidoscope thing was terrifying, like... objectively cool looking but like, the whole time I'm just going... am I having a stroke? Is my vision broken permanently? D: D: D:
  My cats, too, hate the sound of mirth. Because they are demons.
  
  Comment Actions
wellthisisnice on Chapter 7 Sat 04 May 2024 02:59AM UTC

Refreshed the podfic's tab to see if there was a new chapter and 2 secs later i got the ao3 mail notification xD

Comment Actions
- Reply
- Thread
1. kisahawklin on Chapter 7 Sun 05 May 2024 03:09PM UTC
  
  Hahahahha perfect timing! :D :D :D
  
  Comment Actions
livinginaworldofnoise on Chapter 7 Sat 04 May 2024 03:05AM UTC

paused my rewatch of the untamed ep 12 to listen to this and i had a delightful time <33 it was a very cold listen for me bc i have no recollection of writing any of these things but your delivery made me laugh fr
good luck w all ur other recordings!

Comment Actions
- Reply
- Thread
1. kisahawklin on Chapter 7 Sun 05 May 2024 03:11PM UTC
  
  Ahhhhh every time I hear of someone doing a rewatch I am SO JEALOUS and yet I do not do it myself, despite it coming up on multiple streaming services as I watch other things......
  SO MANY RECORDINGS! I'm done for this week (except for chapter 8 of this one) so I will be slower until the challenges drop for next week (Weds I think?)
  
  Comment Actions
2. 1. livinginaworldofnoise on Chapter 7 Mon 06 May 2024 04:35AM UTC
    
    i have been waiting two years to be ready to rewatch it and finally i was like ok…the time has come LOL and it was a slow start but now that i’ve gotten into the post-sunshot campaign arc i’m like oh! i am still the same amount of feral about this show every time! glad i checked!
    
    Comment Actions
  2. 1. kisahawklin on Chapter 7 Mon 06 May 2024 04:47AM UTC
      
      Hahahahahha good to know, still feral! I expect I will be the same when I finally do rewatch, which I really need to do. Maybe once my dumb show finishes, in like 6 months. OHHHH maybe I'll make it my Christmas rewatch! That sounds delightful.
      
      Comment Actions
livinginaworldofnoise on Chapter 8 Mon 06 May 2024 09:17PM UTC

hahahahaha your wish will be taken into account <3 i’m working on the last chapter of the worst cooks fic and a tgcf reddit fic so those are in the pipeline (exciting!!) and then it’s just a matter of figuring out which of my incomplete fics to work on at any given time LOL but i will do some more brainstorming for this fic to see what happens <3 thank you for the read and for the gentle encouragement hehehehe i appreciate you!

Comment Actions
- Reply
- Thread
1. kisahawklin on Chapter 8 Mon 06 May 2024 11:00PM UTC
  
  Oooh no way I would LOVE to see the end of the Worst Cooks AU!!!!! :D :D :D and the TGCF reddit fic, that's amazing. ALL OF IT IS GOOD. I WISH FOR ALL OF IT!
  
  Comment Actions
2. 1. livinginaworldofnoise on Chapter 8 Mon 06 May 2024 11:52PM UTC
    
    u did inspire me to brainstorm for this fic for like one (1) minute before i lost focus and i came up with an idea for the next chapter so we’ll get cooking soon 🙏🏻
    
    Comment Actions
  2. 1. kisahawklin on Chapter 8 Tue 07 May 2024 03:10AM UTC
      
      Woooooo! Inspiration yay! I'm so excited for all this stuff! :D :D :D :D
      
      Comment Actions
livinginaworldofnoise on Chapter 9 Sat 18 May 2024 01:24PM UTC

omg this was soooo much fun to wake up to bc i have soooo many boring things to do today <3 thank u for the read!! and good luck w the voice team challenges i am 100% rooting for u <33 the worst cooks au chapter will def be worth the wait!!

Comment Actions
- Reply
- Thread
1. kisahawklin on Chapter 9 Tue 15 Oct 2024 03:28AM UTC
  
  Lollll going back through my extreeeeeemely overdue comments (I typed that as "overude" because I have finally started an MDZS rewatch and fucking Jin Zixun is onscreen) and going god damn it now I want to read the cooking AU again. I could read every reality cooking AU of MXTX stuff FOREVER. SPEAKING OF THERE IS A GREAT SHOW CALLED CULINARY CLASS WARS THAT IS WEIRD AS FUCK BUT WOULD BE AN AWESOME SORT OF THING FOR A TGCF/MDZS FIGHT TO THE DEATH.
  Ahem.
  
  Comment Actions
2. 1. livinginaworldofnoise on Chapter 9 Mon 30 Dec 2024 10:15PM UTC
    
    now iiiiii am going through my extremely overdue comments bc i am like sisyphus and every time i respond to a batch i forget about it for a while and it creeps back over 600+ but i've finally dedicated several hours to this project hahahaha and now i'm done to 77!!!! progress!! i have not heard of that show but good intel <333
    
    Comment Actions
livinginaworldofnoise on Chapter 10 Thu 20 Jun 2024 04:12AM UTC

it’s so nice getting a podfic update when i am avoiding household tasks that would be facilitated by me listening to a podfic chapter hehehehe thank u for the read <333
summer is truly the worst time of year and i will die on this hill!!! i am the same tho i just turn up the air conditioning and put on a sweatshirt and never go outside LOL that’s the way to go <3 my mom told me there’s no need for anyone to use ac at all bc she insists our bodies will naturally adapt to the heat but i have lived without ac before and i in fact do not adapt i just lose the will to carry on so thank god for modern inventions 🙏🏻
also if u were wondering i did eat a lava cake instead of responding to comments after i posted this but then i responded to like half of them today i’m so brave fr (but now i’m out of lava cakes sadly)

Comment Actions
- Reply
- Thread
1. kisahawklin on Chapter 10 Tue 15 Oct 2024 03:32AM UTC
  
  You are correct summer is evil, thank fuck it is fall now lolllllll. I hope you have gotten more lava cakes in the interim, and also I have so many things of yours I want to read, including the new 14k episolary, but my best friend had a heart attack on the surgery table so I visited him and also my sister who had been primary caretaker for my mom this weekend, so no time, but then also one of them gave me the plague and I am in bed DYING currently :(
  But as soon as I recover! More to come! :D
  
  Comment Actions
orIcouldjustnot on Chapter 10 Fri 21 Jun 2024 07:10AM UTC

There's nothing better than a nice soft clean sheet after a warm shower!

Comment Actions
- Reply
- Thread
1. kisahawklin on Chapter 10 Tue 15 Oct 2024 03:32AM UTC
  
  Absolute truth right there!
  
  Comment Actions
livinginaworldofnoise on Chapter 11 Sun 29 Sep 2024 03:32PM UTC

yes i had so much fun thank you <333 and i did have a middle seat for that flight :( i would’ve talked to the gate agent but the flight was completely full with a lot of people on standby so i just didn’t feel like it but those are good tips!
my friend diiiid finish all of tgcf and she loved it!!! and then i sent her a bunch of tumblr posts and fanart i had saved to retraumatize her bc i am such a good friend <33

Comment Actions
- Reply
- Thread
1. kisahawklin on Chapter 11 Tue 15 Oct 2024 03:34AM UTC
  
  Ah, boooo middle seats, sad to hear it but glad you made it okay. Wooooooo to the friend finishing up TGCF, I'll get there eventually and I have a feeling I will be a different person after it is all done.
  
  Comment Actions
Chrononautical on Chapter 11 Mon 14 Oct 2024 10:28PM UTC

I adore your readings of these funny stories 🤣💖❤️

Comment Actions
- Reply
- Thread
1. kisahawklin on Chapter 11 Tue 15 Oct 2024 03:34AM UTC
  
  <3 <3 <3 I'm so happy to hear you enjoy them! :D
  
  Comment Actions

Actions

Work Header