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Rule #1: Do Not Let Them Know You Can Hear Them.
You fucking punk. Do you even realize how much you sound like a yutz right now?
Tony did his level best not to choke on his coffee as he took a sip. He always had to be careful drinking whenever this particular apparition was around. The not-quite-solid form of a soldier in full Winter gear and short cut, dark hair glared at Steve with his hands on his hips, the Captain completely oblivious to the spirit's presence. Tony was the only one who ever saw or heard them. Steve's glare slid across the table towards Tony.
"And what exactly are you finding so funny about this situation, Stark?"
Tony had to try very hard not to react to the absolutely impressive amount of apparition-eye rolling going on just past Steve's shoulder.
"Nothing, nothing. Just, uh, remembered something I had to tell Pepper. Since there's a conveniently located lull in the conversation, though, I've got some suggestions when it comes to this plan of yours…"
Rule #2: Do Not Let Anyone Else Know You Can Hear Them.
"I'm concerned about you, Tony. You've been acting kind of…jumpy lately. Is everything okay?"
You wanna talk about jumpy? How about we talk about how you jumped off a damn building yesterday?
Tony kept his gaze firmly on the circuitry in front of him, not looking up at Steve. He knew that if he looked up he'd see the lingering ghost of Steve's best friend, Hell bent on making sure Steve didn't join him in the afterlife. Bucky had been getting stronger lately, it seemed. What had started off as just a voice and a faint image had become more solid as time had passed. He was even starting to move things around the tower, now. It was incredibly irritating.
"It's nothing, okay? You're not my mother, Steve."
Oh, if you want to talk about him mother henning, you haven't even seen the tip of the iceberg. Let me tell you. There was this one time back in Brooklyn-
Yep, Tony was keeping his gaze firmly on the Iron Man's circuitry. He was sure as Hell not going to add 'staring at things that don't exist with a dopey smile' to Steve's list of things to worry about when it came to Tony Stark.
Rule #3: Do Not Become Invested in Their Problems.
Don't go, Stevie. Please, God, don't go. Jesus, if they got their hands on you I don't know what I'd do.
"Maybe you should sit this one out, Steve. You're still not fully recovered from that gas you got hit with last week. And this is HYDRA we're dealing with. They know you."
"Exactly." Steve pinned Tony with a glare. "And I know them. I'm not staying behind when it's my fight."
Tony glanced at Bucky's worried face for just a fraction of a second before steeling his resolve.
"And we're your team, aren't we? How about you trust us to have your back? You go out there now, you're liable to get yourself or someone else killed. Let us help you, Steve."
It was a low blow, but Tony had never had a problem aiming below the belt. It was worth it if he won and, as he watched the way Steve's shoulders slumped and Bucky's face lit up, he knew he had. At least this round.
Rule #4: Do Not Encourage Their Behavior.
"Dude, seriously," Barton pointed at Tony with his pair of chop sticks. "You've gotta get JARVIS under control, man."
Tony winced. He couldn't exactly tell the team that all the wacky things happening around the tower weren't the fault of his AI glitching but actually thanks to Cap's dear old dead best friend.
"I'll look into it."
"Would you mind doing it…soon?" Steve seemed reluctant to ask, but he also had gotten the idea in his head that Tony providing them all a place to live was somehow ridiculously outlandish and generous. "My floor has just been really warm, the past couple of days."
Of course, because Bucky was clearly terrified of Steve somehow winding up frozen again.
"Probably just a problem with the sensor," Tony brushed it aside. "I'll come down and check it out later today."
"And can you get him to stop moving my arrows?" Clint groused.
Bucky had been stealing the archer's weaponry ever since that one training incident. Tony snorted.
"That, I actually find pretty funny."
Behind Steve's shoulder, Bucky was staring at Tony with wild, surprised eyes.
Rule #5: Do Not Get Attached.
You can see me, can't you?
Tony tried not to react to the words, but couldn't help the jerk when Bucky snatched away the blowtorch he'd been reaching for. The spirit danced away with it, face full of fierce glee.
"Hey! Give that back!"
You can see me! I knew it! And hear me, too, I bet. I've never met someone who could do that before. God knows I looked while Steve was trapped in that ice.
Tony scowled, but knew when he was beat. He tried very forcefully not to think of how handsome Bucky looked when he wore that grin.
"Yeah, okay, I can see you and hear you. Woopie. Now give me back my blowtorch."
Bucky leaned into Tony's space, Tony leaning backward to avoid contact. He wasn't so sure he liked what that gleam in Bucky's eye meant.
So you're gonna help me, right?
Rule #6: Do Not Attempt to Help Them.
Tony dove, snatching Steve out of the way just in time to keep them both from being hit by whatever energy rocket their mad scientist enemy had managed to come with. He dumped Steve a few feet away and changed direction, tackling the mad scientist to the ground and knocking him out cold. Bucky appeared just moments later.
You saved Stevie.
Tony scoffed.
"I'm his teammate. That's kind of in my job description."
Bucky's eyes were wide and grateful none the less. Tony tried not to think about the funny feeling in his chest at being looked at that way.
Thank you.
Rule #7: Did I Not Just Say Don't Help Them?
"If you keep on getting stronger like this, you'll be able to start controlling the energies around you before too long."
Bucky sent him a curious look from where he was perusing a few of the inventor's machinations.
What do you mean?
"I've seen a few spirits with that ability. They can create fire or electricity out of the air if they concentrate hard enough. You're about to the level where you should be able to do that. Might be worth practicing, you think? Sure would help you with protecting Steve."
Bucky stared down at his hands, then back up at Tony.
Yeah, yeah it would.
Rule #8: Seriously, Tony, Stop Trying to Help Them.
"What was that, Iron Man?"
Steve sounded angry, and Tony couldn't exactly blame him. It hadn't been his smartest plan, admittedly. He'd just seen Steve and the thought of Bucky's crushed expression if Steve got hurt had flit through his mind and…He couldn't deal with that. Tony kept his eyes closed and his breathing carefully even. Maybe Steve would take pity on a guy in a hospital bed. Steve sighed.
"I know you're awake, you know."
Tony blinked his eyes open with resignation, turning to look at the super soldier. Over Steve's shoulder, Bucky looked every bit as crushed as Tony hadn't wanted him to. Tony wasn't quite sure what to make of that.
Rule #9: Do Not Let Them Touch You.
Hey! You dick, give me my body back!
Tony glared at the shocked expression on his own face, the one that Bucky was currently inhabiting. While the spirit was distracted Tony gave him a harsh shove, pushing the other spirit out of his body and reclaiming it for himself. Bucky still looked utterly shocked.
What…That's never happened with anyone else before.
Tony grumbled.
"Yeah, well, you're not the first one it's happened with. Let's try and keep the body possessions to a minimum, okay? Brings back bad memories."
Tony turned away, not wanting to deal with emotions any more than he absolutely had to. He did, however, feel it when ghostly arms settled around him in a hug and Bucky pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.
Yeah. I think I can do that.
Tony had to try really hard not to smile.
Rule #10: You Know What? Do What You Want. I Give Up.
Tony shivered at the cool sensation of ghostly lips against his own, pulling him back to consciousness. He hummed appreciatively, grinning up at the spirit leaning over him.
Rise and shine, sweetheart. You've got a board meeting at 10AM.
Tony groaned and turned back over to bury his face in his pillow.
"I donwanna."
Bucky chuckled, running cool fingers soothingly along Tony's spine.
C'mon. Either you can get up for me or you can wait for Pepper to come barging in here. Which would you prefer?
Tony grabbed the bed's other pillow and threw it through his lover.