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The late afternoon sun in Nairobi is warm on Lito’s back. He strips off his sweat-stained undershirt and tosses it carelessly aside. He bounces on his heels and grins at Capheus, beckoning him to come closer, to bring it on. Capheus smiles cheerfully back at him and won’t be drawn, circling Lito. Lito turns with him. Capheus lunges. Lito blocks his kick-punch combo easily, turning to bring an elbow down on Capheus’s shoulder but somehow Capheus is under him and lifting and Lito sails through the air. He slams his arms down as Sun has drilled them over and over, but he’s still a bit winded so he takes a moment to recover.
Then Sun is standing over him, unsmiling, holding out an arm. He reaches up and clasps it and she helps him to his feet. “Again,” she says, and Lito stretches his arms and shoulders a couple of times and then squares up against Capheus once more.
A slim arm crept around Hernando’s waist and he automatically lifted his arm for Daniela to slide against him. She shamelessly stole a piece of the mango he was slicing up for Lito’s post-workout smoothie and Hernando slapped playfully at her hand with his free one. “Mmm,” she murmured appreciatively and Hernando couldn’t tell if she was referring to the fruit or the view out on the deck. Probably both, knowing Daniela. Lito was looking particularly gorgeous as he practiced his kickboxing moves out on the deck. Hernando couldn’t help wondering if it was the fight with Joaquin that had caused this sudden determination to learn self-defence; Hernando had seen the terrible result of Lito’s heroism on his battered face. Daniela had told him all the frightening details of the fight, how Joaquin had taunted Lito; beaten him to the ground before Lito had, incredibly, got up and taken control.
As they watched, Lito bowed and smiled as if to an invisible opponent, then his stance relaxed and he turned to drink deeply from the bottle of water he’d left on the edge of the terrace wall. He smiled again, his posture one of listening intently, then his face lit up and he laughed and said something they couldn’t quite hear. He picked up the vest from where he’d tossed it aside and turned to come inside. His eyes fell on them, watching him from the bar and he beamed at them, his gorgeous, 1000 watt smile that graced all the popular magazine covers, that all the women (and quite a number of men) swooned over. Hernando returned it helplessly, his heart turning over as it always did when Lito smiled at him, because he knew that for him, the smile was always genuine. Lito always said that Hernando was the love of his life. He claimed they were the luckiest men alive to have found each other.
Yes, lucky. But there was a shadow over their happiness now, and it wasn’t the ever present threat of exposure by Joaquin. Daniela’s abusive ex-boyfriend seemed to be lying low for the moment, beaten, yes, but probably not defeated.
Lito kissed Hernando on the cheek and Daniela on the top of the head as he breezed past them. He closed the bathroom door behind him and after a few moments they heard the shower running.
Daniela stole another piece of mango and moved to perch on the edge of one of the wooden chairs. “I’m worried about Lito, Hernando.”
He didn’t need to ask what about. Hernando sank into the nearest chair. He took his glasses off and tiredly rubbed his eyes. “I am too,” he admitted.
“The other day, I caught him talking to himself in German.”
“Lito doesn’t speak German.”
“Has anyone told Lito that?” Daniela said, trying to make light of it.
Hernando didn’t smile. “What did he say when you asked him about it?”
“I didn’t ask him.” Daniela leaned forward. “Hernando, when I came in he even greeted me in German, and then switched to Spanish without appearing to notice that he’d done so.”
The German was new but Lito had taken to talking to himself a lot since, well, since around the time Daniela moved in. Hernando had asked him about it once. Lito had said he was running lines, but Hernando knew Lito’s lines usually better than Lito did, and he hadn’t recognised that dialogue at all.
“What are we going to do?” Daniela asked. She put her hand out across the table and Hernando took it and held it, not sure who was trying to comfort whom. “He can’t go on like this, someone will notice.”
“We’ll have to talk to him,” Hernando decided.
“I’m worried there’s something really wrong with him.”
Hernando squeezed her hand. “Let’s not assume that until we’ve heard what Lito has to say. There might be a reasonable explanation.”
A reasonable explanation for the way he appeared to talk to imaginary people, in languages he didn’t speak. Hernando hadn’t told Daniela about waking up the night before last, wondering for a moment what had woken him, only to realise that Lito was talking in his sleep in a language Hernando didn’t recognise at all. He’d grabbed his phone off the bedside table and recorded a minute or two, then looked it up. How in God’s name did Lito suddenly know how to speak Swahili?
Hernando had lain awake for a long time, his mind racing with wild theories such as Lito actually being a spy or secret agent of some kind. Except what sort of spy became a public figure such as a TV star, and even if that somehow was the case, what would lead him to suddenly give himself away by suddenly behaving in such a bizarre way, unless he was somehow drugged or hypnotised? At that point Hernando had realised just how ridiculous his suspicions were and had chastised himself severely for allowing his fears to carry him away. Obviously there was a reasonable explanation. This was Lito. He’d known the man – intimately – for nearly three years. They didn’t have any secrets from each other. But it had been a long time before Hernando had fallen back to sleep.
“When would be a good time to talk to him?”
“No time like the present. He’s not on set today, and we don’t have any other plans.”
Daniela pressed her lips together and then nodded decisively. “I will make coffee,” she said.
With perfect timing the oven timer in the kitchen went off. Hernando busied himself tipping the cookies on to a cooling tray and sifting sugar over them while Daniela started the coffee. They were Lito’s favourites and he liked to have a sweet treat after a workout.
By the time Lito emerged from the bedroom, dressed in a black silk robe that clung to every muscle, his hair still damp, Hernando and Daniela were curled up on the couch together in the sitting room, sipping coffee, with a plate of warm cinnamon cookies on the glass coffee table in front of them.
Lito leaned down and kissed Hernando, lingering gently on his lips. Hernando curled his fingers into fists to stop himself reaching up and pulling Lito onto his lap. He smelled divine, just a hint of the spicy Hugo Boss cologne Hernando had bought him for his birthday, and his kiss, as always, made Hernando want to ravish him on the spot.
“Lito, we need to talk,” Hernando said, when Lito straightened up.
“What about?” Lito said, smiling, and Hernando couldn’t tell if he was genuinely oblivious, or if it was an attempt to deflect them. His over the top acting in melodramas notwithstanding, Lito was a genuinely great actor, in Hernando’s opinion. In fact, the only silver lining to Lito not being able to get action hero roles anymore if Joaquin followed through with his threat to expose him, would be the potential for him to work on small budget movies - the sort of independent movie that would give him the opportunity to extend himself, reveal his true acting ability to a new audience. Lito had agreed with Hernando when Hernando had tried to reassure him, but Hernando knew that it wasn’t what Lito wanted. His lover liked the fame and the public’s adoration, and the financial success that allowed him to provide lavishly for his large family.
Lito’s eyes weren’t quite meeting his. Hernando’s heart sank. Lito had once told Hernando that ‘lying is what I do’, but Hernando had been sure that Lito would never lie to him.
“About your behaviour recently.”
“My behaviour?” Lito was still smiling widely but there was a distance in his eyes that Hernando had never seen before, not directed at him.
Daniela was turning her mug around and around in her cupped hands. “Lito, you’re not yourself,” she said quietly.
“Of course I am myself,” Lito chuckled. “Who else would I be?” he asked lightly, one hand rubbing his jaw, a clear tell that he was nervous.
Hernando stared at him in disbelief. Lito was, absolutely, at the very least deliberately keeping something from him. Hernando did not know how to respond to that.
“Lito, we love you,” Dani said. “You can tell us anything.”
Lito’s eyes widened and he staggered back a few steps. Hernando’s heart ached at the hunted look in his eyes. “Wait a minute. Is this an intervention?” Lito demanded, his voice rising.
“We just want to understand what’s going on with you.”
“What do you mean, what’s going on with me?”
“Lito, you talk to yourself!” Hernando said.
Lito threw up his hands. “Everyone talks to themselves!”
“Not like this,” Hernando argued. “Since when do you speak German – or Swahili?”
“Ah.” Lito’s shoulders sagged. He came and sat down on the couch and put his elbows on his knees. He sank his face into his hands and sat like that for a long moment. Hernando waited patiently. Next to him Daniela fidgeted, but didn’t say anything.
After a minute, when Lito didn’t say anything, it occurred to Hernando that Lito might not be comfortable discussing whatever it was with anyone else but him. “Dani, could you give us a minute, please?” he asked gently.
Daniela looked from Hernando to Lito and back. “Hernando,” she pouted.
If it had just been nosiness or a desire not to be left out Hernando would have been annoyed with her but they’d been through too much together in the short time they’d known each other. Daniela sincerely cared about them -- she’d been ready to marry a man who abused her to preserve Lito’s reputation and career. “Please, Dani,” he said.
Daniela nodded and got up. She paused at the kitchen door and looked from Hernando to Lito, then went in and shut the door behind her. Hernando heard the sound of the coffee maker switching on.
Lito let Hernando take his hand again, but when he turned his head to look up at Hernando, the hunted look was still lurking around his eyes. Hernando raised his hand to his lips and tenderly kissed each knuckle, one at time. “My love, you are scaring me,” he said.
The lines around Lito’s eyes softened. “I would never want to do that.”
“You know what’s going on with you, don’t you?” Hernando said, trying to sound non-judgemental.
“I do.”
“Can you tell me?”
“My love, I want to tell you,” Lito said earnestly, staring intently into Hernando’s eyes. “I have been trying to find the right words so that you will not think that I am crazy.”
“Are you ill? In danger?”
“No! Well, yes,” Lito said, shaking his head. “About the being in danger part, I mean. Maybe. It’s a long story.”
Hernando took a deep breath. “So you’re not ill?” he asked calmly.
“No.”
“But you are in danger?”
“Not now,” Lito said. Apparently oblivious to the edge in Hernando’s voice, he continued: “But maybe in future? I cannot say for sure.”
“Is that why the martial arts?”
“Guys?” Daniela called from the kitchen.
“Dani is worried about you too.”
“I know.”
“Is this something she should also know about?”
Lito’s mouth pursed. He hesitated.
“If you would rather tell only me, Dani will understand.”
Lito rolled his eyes. “No, she won’t,” he said, smiling slightly, but genuinely.
Hernando returned his smile. “Nevertheless.”
Lito hesitated, clearly considering. “No, Dani is our family now,” he said finally. “She has the right to know and I would much rather only have to explain this once.” He picked up his coffee, took a distracted sip and put it down again. “You can come in now, Dani,” he said, not raising his voice much, and very shortly Daniela came through the door, bearing steaming mugs of freshly brewed coffee.
Lito didn’t seem to know where to begin. He jumped to his feet and paced back and forth for a few strides and then returned to throw himself back on the couch. Hernando waited patiently. Lito sat up and Hernando watched as his lover drew back his shoulders in that practiced pose he assumed for dramatic proclamations in his movies. He doesn’t even realise he’s doing it anymore, Hernando thought fondly. Lito’s eyes moved from Daniela to him and fixed there, a worried crease between his brows. Lito took his hand again, clutching it, and Hernando realised that Lito was afraid, genuinely afraid to tell them. “I have wanted to tell you this, but I have not known how to explain. I have been terrified that you will think that I have gone mad.”
Daniela moved to sit down at Lito’s other side and stroked his arm reassuringly. “Of course we won’t think you’re crazy,” she said. “We love you.”
“I know you do,” he said. “But what I have to tell you does sound crazy.”
Hernando lifted their joined hands and pressed them against his heart. “There is nothing that you could tell me that would make me stop loving you,” he said, and the truth of it hung between them.
Lito sighed. “There is no easy way to say this,” he said eventually. “I am not one person, but eight.”
Hernando stared. Lito’s words made no sense. What did he mean, he was eight people?
“That does sound pretty crazy,” Daniela said matter-of-factly. Hernando glared at her and she threw up her hands. “What? It does!”
“Dani, you are being neither helpful nor supportive.”
“Sorry,” she said. She tilted her head. “You mean like multiple personality disorder?” she asked doubtfully.
“No!” Lito exclaimed. “I mean that there are seven other people that share my thoughts, my feelings… my very soul.”
“Isn’t that multiple pers—”
“They are not in my head! They are real people, living real lives in other parts of the world.”
Hernando stared at him. He was seriously worried now. God, was Lito crazy after all?
“When you see me talking to myself I am actually talking to Capheus in Nairobi, or Nomi in San Francisco, or Wolfgang in Berlin, or—”
“Lito, that’s not possible,” Hernando said, very calmly.
“See, this is why I was afraid to tell you. Nomi’s girlfriend believed her immediately, but her mother is a hippie, and also at the time they were being threatened by a shadowy evil medical corporation who is trying to track us all down.”
“What?”
Lito looked mortified. “I…wasn’t going to mention that straight away.”
“Oh my God,” Hernando moaned, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. “This is worse than I thought.”
“We help each other when one of is in trouble. Dani, remember when I fought Joaquin, he was beating me, yes? I am not a fighter, but Wolfgang is! Wolfgang took over my body and knocked Joaquin out.”
Hernando put his glasses back on and looked at Daniela. Daniela was staring at Lito, frowning.
She was clearly thinking back to the fight, considering Lito’s actions in this new light. . She looked at Hernando and shrugged. “I thought he was channelling one of his characters from one his movies,” she said. “He wasn’t himself… he was very menacing.” Daniela’s raised eyebrows signalled her scepticism, but Hernando thought she seemed a little frightened, too. Her hands covered her mouth, and she was in danger of ruining her fabulous manicure as she bit into the tip of one fingernail.
“You watch me practicing kickboxing every morning,” Lito said. “A month ago, I was like a beginner, yes? Now my moves are more complex, more skilled? Where have I learned such moves? The internet? No, it is because Sun is teaching me, and I practise with Capheus.”
“Lito, I think you need to explain to us how this is possible.” Hernando’s heart was thumping; either Lito was certifiable or his lover was involved in something incredible. Something terrible. Shadowy medical corporation?
“I do not know how it works, only that it is real. It is in my head, yes, but also not.” Lito bent forward and clasped his hands, leaning back into them as though stretching out his neck. He stared at the ceiling. “This is hard to explain,” he said. “Believe me, I know how it sounds. When we talk to each other with our minds we are still,” Lito gestured around him with his hands, “we are still where we are but also we are where the other person is. I train with Capheus in the open space near his home, and Sun is there too, even though she is also in prison in Seoul.”
“Lito, say I believe this,” Hernando said, “how do I know if I am talking to you, or one of the others? I am not comfortable with the idea that I am sharing you with seven other people - seven other people who it sounds like are closer to you than I can ever be.”
Lito took Hernando’s face between his large hands and kissed him gently, pulling back only far enough to gaze deeply into Hernando’s eyes. “It’s not like that,” he said earnestly. “You have all of my heart,” he said, and it sounded like a vow. “It is true that some of the others have paired up, and the love they share within the bond is incredibly intense but Nomi and I had already found the love of our lives when our cluster was born, and our connection is deep but separate…” Lito hesitated. “Well…”
“Lito?”
“I wish to have no more secrets from you. One time, when you and I made love, Nomi and Amanita were also enjoying a passionate encounter at the same time and as a result, a couple of the others were…drawn in…”
Daniela gasped and her hands flew to her mouth. She looked from Hernando to Lito and back and from the way her eyes crinkled Hernando could just tell she was hiding a delighted grin.
“I was involved in an orgy and I didn’t know?” Hernando asked, his voice rising slightly, moving back so that he could stare incredulously at his lover.
Lito shrugged guiltily and his eyes dropped to stare at the floor. Hernando waited, eyebrows raised pointedly.
Lito looked up at Hernando, and his lips parted as if he were about to speak.
And then, right in front of them, Lito turned his head and said to no one, “It’s not going well.”
“Maybe you should have stuck with the basics to start with.”
Lito looks up. Nomi’s sitting in the chair beside the couch. She’s naked and blinking sleepily. A weight lifts from his shoulders. “It’s not going well,” he tells her, although he can feel that she knows that already. That’s why she’s here.
“No kidding.”
“How can I convince them?”
“Hernando wants to believe you, but how can he? It sounds crazy to us, and we live it.”
Lito looks at the sleeping figure of Nomi’s lover, snuggled against Nomi’s side in the bed, a dim shape in the early dawn light. “Amanita believed you.”
“The circumstances were different. You can’t compare them, Lito, that’s not fair on Hernando.”
“I know it’s not.” He knows he’s not being fair to his lover, who is obviously worried sick about him.
“You need to give them something tangible.”
She’s right. Lito holds out his hand. “May I?”
Nomi sits up, careful not to disturb her lover, and reaches over Amanita’s sleeping form for the phone on the bedside table, unselfconscious in her nudity. One does not hide from parts of one’s soul.
She hands Lito the phone and he punches in the number.
Daniela’s phone rang. For once she ignored it. “Answer it,” Lito urged her.
“Who is it?” she asked, picking it up off the table.
“It’s Nomi.”
“One of the… others?” she asked, doubtfully, making no move to answer the call.
“Yes.”
Hernando held out his hand for the phone and Daniela put it in his hand. “How do you know it’s her?” he asked, looking at the unknown number on the screen.
“Because I called your number from her phone, just a moment ago.”
“You were with her in your mind just then, while you were talking to us?”
“It’s hard to explain,” Lito said. Hernando looked at him with exasperation and Lito smiled just a bit, and ducked his head sheepishly. “It’s not like a normal conversation; it is more like thinking to yourself, except with someone else in your head.”
The phone stopped, and then started ringing again. They all stared at it.
“It’s complicated. It’s like we share souls. When we ‘visit’ it’s a sharing, not possession, not a violation.”
“Do you share often?”
“We can do it deliberately, like Sun teaching us to fight. But it also happens instinctively. For instance, when I was in the depths of despair after I lost you, Wolfgang was in very bad trouble and without even thinking about it I was there beside him. I was able to put aside my own pain to help him.”
It sounded impossible, like something out of a science fiction show.
But it was happening. It was real. “The crying Korean woman,” Hernando realised. Lito was often dramatic, but he’d been hysterical that day.
“Yes, exactly,” Lito said, pointing excitedly at Hernando. “Sun was having a bad period that day,” explained.
Daniella sat forward, looking intrigued. “And you experienced it too?”
“It was terrible!” Lito exclaimed, gesturing expansively. “I believed I must have cancer of the stomach, the pain was so bad.”
“Really?”
“I could not concentrate to remember my lines! I was emotional - I could not stop crying and when I was cut off in traffic I was so angry, I wanted to scream.”
Daniella laughed. “Oh Lito,” she said sympathetically.
Lito glared at her. “It wasn’t funny, I did not know what was happening to me!”
Hernando couldn’t help himself, he laughed. “He called me from the car, he was freaking out.” Lito looked at him with a mock-betrayed look on his face. “It wasn’t funny then, he was talking nonsense about a crying Korean woman. I was worried about him. It’s actually a relief that there’s an explanation for it, if not a rational one.”
Lito turned to him and clasped both of his hands with his own. “You do believe me?”
“I guess I do,” Hernando said, in part because it made as much sense as anything else, but mostly because Lito believed it. Lito hugged Hernando tightly, and Hernando could feel the tension leaving his lover’s body at his expression of faith.
“I want to hear all the details,” Daniela said gleefully, clapping her hands together, and Lito’s breath huffed against Hernando’s throat as he laughed.
“Especially about the orgy,” Hernando added, pointedly. Lito wasn’t off the hook for that.
“Oops,” Lito said. “Love of my life, I will make it up to you,” he promised earnestly, pulling back to gaze at him with his beautiful eyes.
“Yes, you will,” Hernando agreed, and kissed Lito firmly. Lito melted against him.
The phone stopped ringing.
“I take it I can go back to bed?” Nomi asks dryly, but her smile is relieved.
“Yes, thank you,” Lito says gratefully, holding out his hand. Nomi takes it and they clasp hands, just for a moment, enjoying the physical connection.
“Is that Nomi?” Hernando asked, looking around, trying not think about how weird this was.
“Yes, she’s here,” Lito said, nodding towards the chair.
“I would like to meet her.”
“I’d like that,” Nomi says, smiling crookedly.
“She says she would like that too,” Lito said.
“Invite her to come for a visit,” Hernando suggested. “I will cook pozole.” He’d been meaning to try out a new recipe but had been waiting for a suitable occasion.
“Ooh,” Daniela breathed. Hernando smiled at her appreciation; she really was one of his favourite people.
That sounds great, but it’s too dangerous for us to try and leave the States at the moment. How about you visit us? Neets is dying to meet you guys.”
“We can do that,” Lito agrees.
“Great,” Nomi says, yawning. “Let me know dates and I’ll organise your flights.”
“She said she and her girlfriend are dying to meet you,” Lito repeated.
“Believe me,” Hernando said, emphatically, addressing the empty chair. “I am looking forward to meeting you too.”
“She’s gone now,” Lito said. “We cannot always control it.” He laughed delightedly, his head thrown back. Hernando couldn’t help laughing a little himself, Lito’s joy was contagious. Beside them, Daniela clapped her hands and laughed as well.
“I can’t believe it,” Lito said jumping up and turning to look down at them, his hands on his hips. “Just a little while ago I was dreading telling you in case you did not believe me, and now you will shortly be meeting one of my other selves. I hope that one day you will have the opportunity to meet them all!”
Lito’s other selves. It would probably take Hernando a while to wrap his head around the idea, but it was a relief that they were actual people – people who it seemed he was going to be able to meet! He wondered if he should be jealous, but then Lito reached down and lifted him effortlessly up into an enthusiastic hug. He was swung around and put back on his feet and Lito took his face in his hands and kissed him with such conviction that Hernando’s doubts died before they had a chance to fully form.
“So,” said Hernando, “I take it we need to get the guest room ready?”
“Ah,” said Lito. He picked up his coffee and drained the cup, then said nonchalantly, “Nomi has requested that we visit them instead, I hope that is okay. I thought, why not next weekend, when there is a break in filming?”
“Sure,” Hernando said. “Can we though, at such short notice?” he asked doubtfully. “We’ll need visas, for a start.”
Lito waved a dismissive hand. “Nomi will take care of all that,” he said. “She’s wonderful with computers - she can hack into any security system.” He beamed proudly.
“Oh, good,” Hernando said, and took his glasses off in order to pinch the bridge of his nose.
“You know what this means,” Daniela announced, clasping her hands together in excitement.
Hernando couldn’t help smiling at her enthusiasm. “What?”
Daniela jumped up and hugged them both, jumping up and down with excitement. “We’re going to San Francisco!”