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Children, especially at the very young age of four, can only know how to feel complexities such as emotions—but it takes a few years for them to fully know how to process anything of such; even moreso, taking the proper course of actions to express these feelings.
“Mr. and Mrs. Javier, this is our son, Giovanni Manuel.”
Little Banban extends his arm to shake both of the investors’ hands which made the couple coo. The woman, Mrs. Javier, gestures somewhere and two kids trail to where they are. From afar, Banban feels amazed after noticing the striking resemblance of the two: it’s his first time meeting twins and he wants to be friends with them.
“Here’s our pride and joy naman, Mr. Manuel: Dionysus and Hephaestus Javier.” Both of them waved at Nr. and Mrs. Manuel.
“Ang kapal po ng glasses niyo!” One of the twins exclaims in amazement—smile reaching his eyes while jumping in place.
Instinctively, Banban hides behind his mother.
“Bata, bakit ka nagtatago?” The twin from earlier says again, finally noticing Banban and his disappearance.
Banban feels his mother’s hand caress his head, urging him to come forward once again and so he does. “Naku, medyo mahiyain kasi ‘tong si Banban. Nagulat siguro sa sigaw ng kambal.”
But it wasn’t because he was shy or he was surprised that led him to hide behind his mom. He doesn’t know it now, but Leu after two decades will look back at this day, and remember that he felt fear.
One smile. One bright smile and little Banban felt a shift in his universe. Like there was stardust breathing something celestial into life. Like all of his galaxies were pulled by a magnetic force until they all start moving closer, revolving around one another in the hopes of a harmonious environment. It was unlike he has ever felt before and it was brimming with hope and beauty—only, little Banban is yet to know this.
In this very moment, with the twins’ hands extended for him to take so they could all go together to their respective seats, all he knows is that half of the twins whose name is Dionysus is shining. He’s blinding. He’s beautiful. And there is an abundance of warning signs traveling through all his senses that tells him to beware of flying too close to the sun.
So he takes Happy’s hand, leaving the older of the twins disappointed with his hand lonely in the air.
———
Banban tried his hardest to stop observing Dion. Obviously the more outgoing twin, he was going around each of the other investors and business partners to greet them a good evening. He smiles at them widey, and what’s surprising is that it’s also genuine, because he is so happy to meet other people and other people love meeting him, too. They praise him for being so energetic and lively. He watches Dion give high fives and fist bumps to the business people as if they’re his long-time playdates.
He watched Dion closel and Happy watched him watch Dion.
“Crush mo ba si Kuya?” Happy asks that painted Banban red in the cheeks.
“Hindi—!” The whole table quiets down on his shout; Happy already averting his gaze from the crowd while Banban looks at his Kuya Sky.
“Is there a problem, Leu?” Sky asks, noticing the growing discomfort on Banban’s face.
“Wala po… Tinanong lang ako ni Happy kung nagpe-play ako drums.” He lies and Happy immediately gets it, nodding to save themselves from embarrassment. “Sabi ko po, hindi.”
And that’s how the adults turned their attention to Banban—asking if he was musically inclined, if he could dance, and then ultimately leading to if he could sing.
So with cold hands and trembling knees, he stood just beside his father’s seat at the end of the table; singing the first note of Taylor Swift’s Love Story that he spent all his time with Sky memorizing.
His little audience smile and laugh and converse in light voices, floating in his silky voice and the good atmosphere it built. He gives himself an imaginary pat on the back for making this dinner a little more enjoyable.
“And my daddy said, ‘stay away from Juliet,’ and I was crying at the staircase…”
His eyes are met with a burning gaze that he has been trying to ignore ever since earlier and suddenly—he trails off. His lips stop singing and his mind goes blank. He can feel the redness creeping from his neck into his cheeks—embarrassment making itself known to the audience.
And with all sounds muffled in his hearing, Dion’s soft laugh echoed roughly against his ears; triggering his tears that would soon shoot bullets into their friendship.
Inside their car, when the driver starts the engine but stills the car in place because there hasn’t been a go signal from Guillermo Manuel, Banban remembers the absolute mess that he showed earlier. He wonders what the people thought of his
Oh, that’s right. He must’ve been the laughing stock when he walked out. At least he knows that for Dionysus Javier, his moment of vulnerability was funny and should be laughed at.
So with a heavy heart and a brain that isn’t developed enough to understand the complexities of human emotions, he swears to forever hate Dionysus Javier. And even if he knows he likes Hephaestus Javier’s company, peas of the same pod are still different peas—and for that, Banban will pick them apart.