Chapter Text
Jen stood in front of the class, fidgeting with his hands as the teacher introduced him to the other fifth-grade students. He stared up at the sea of faces picking him apart, analyzing who he would be. Analyzing whether he were to be popular, nobody, or the class’s newest punching bag. Jen sincerely hoped it wasn’t the last one. Two students, however, didn’t pay any attention at all to the latest addition to the class. They were too busy staring daggers at each other from across the room. One had a black coat and a large head, and the other had sickly green skin. Jen winced. Whatever that was, he desperately wanted to stay out of it.
Unfortunately, it seemed the universe’s cruelty was relentless and held other plans.The teacher, who Jen believed was named Ms. Bitters, pointed at the desk directly next to the kid with the skin disease.
“You’ll be sitting next to Zim,” Bitters rasped.
“But someone’s already sitting there.”
She pressed a button upon her desk, which opened a hole in the floor, dropping the desk and the student into the depths below. The desk then returned to the surface, unoccupied. “Not anymore.”
Jen sighed and trudged to his seat. He was already missing his old school. He’d been forced to move here after his old city had been decimated by a laser-related freak accident a week and a half ago. He’d just have to make the most of things.
He turned to his seat-neighbor, Zim, and held out one hand. “I’m Jen.”
Zim did not look up, still squinting angrily at the kid on the other side of the classroom. Jen tapped on Zim’s desk, causing him to finally divert his attention. “Eh?”
“I’m Jen,” he repeated, holding his open hand further out for emphasis. Zim took it in a tentative handshake, visibly uncomfortable with the physical contact. Jen noticed he only had three fingers. Strange. Zim pulled away after a few moments and wrung his hands, as if he were cleaning them off. “Are you a germaphobe?” asked Jen.
Zim slammed his hands on his desk, as if this were some sort of great offense to him. “I am no germaphobe! I love germs! Just as all the other dirty human children do.”
Jen raised an eyebrow, choosing not to comment on the strange reaction. He instead changed the subject. “So, what’s up with you and that other guy?”
“Hm? Oh, you mean Dib.” The name was spoken with complete and utter vitriol. “Pay no attention to him, new student. He’s craaazy.”
“And why’s th-”
Zim cut Jen off. “He calls Zim an alien! Lies! Slander and lies! Believe nothing that comes from his filthy mouth!”
Jen nodded, finding this conversation harder and harder to keep track of. He turned his attention away from Zim, who was now ranting incoherently about Dib and his conspiracy theories. Aside from that, though, he seemed nice enough. Maybe making friends would be easier than Jen thought.
Lunch soon rolled around, and Jen followed Zim to an empty table. He received some strange, almost disgusted looks as he slid into his seat. “Do people not like you here?”
“Nonsense! They love me. They look to me as their leader.”
The glares of the student body said otherwise. Jen decided that didn’t matter, though. He wasn’t particularly bothered by this, as long as he could hang out with someone here. And Zim had spoken to him first (or rather, he’d spoken to Zim first), and that made Zim his first choice for a friend. Zim, however, seemed offput by this. He didn’t even touch his food, and was constantly glancing at Jen during the lunch period, as if he were waiting for the right moment to slip away. Jen did not give him that moment. He’d convince Zim of his good-friend-ability and the two would soon be inseparable, he knew it.
The two finished eating–or Jen did, at least. Zim still hadn’t touched his food. Jen wished he hadn’t, either. He could feel it (hopefully metaphorically) clawing at his insides. Feeling ill, he excused himself from the table and made his way to the dingy school bathrooms.
Entering the bathroom, he was immediately greeted by the boy Zim seemed to have beef with. Dib, Jen recalled. He blocked the path to the toilets, which was unfortunate for Jen, who needed to puke his guts out.
“I saw you sitting next to Zim,” he said matter-of-factly.
Jen tilted his head to the side. “Were… you waiting for me?”
“Maybe. But that’s not the point. The point is that he’s an alien . I have proof.”
“Yeah, he said you’d say that.”
Dib growled in frustration. “Gah! He’s always one step ahead of me… no matter. Everyone here says I’m crazy–”
“He said that, too.”
“–but I’m not! He really is an alien! Just look at him! The green skin, the lack of human facial features, the way he act s! He wants to take over the human race!”
Jen mulled this over for a moment, then replied, “and you’re sure he’s not just, like, diseased? Or just really ugly?”
“No! I have proof! Not photographic –he always ends up destroying that–but I’ve seen his base, and his ship, and his evil robot servant! I’ve even seen him without his disguise! He’s got bug eyes and antennas!. You have to believe me, and stay away from Zim! Your life may depend on it!” Dib was nearly panicking now. Jen could tell he really did believe this. And it did have some kind of credence. It at least explained why Zim looked like that.
“Okay, okay, let’s say you’re right, and he is an alien.” As Jen spoke, Dib stared at him in awe. It was likely nobody had ever heard him out in his life. Sad. “If he is one, why does it matter?”
“It matters because he wants to destroy the Earth!”
“But he’s just one guy. I doubt he could even do that much damage.”
Dib grabbed Jen by the shoulders. “Oh, but he already has! That mass flood? It was Zim! The, uh… actually, I guess that’s the only thing he’s done that affected a wider area than our city… but still! He’s dangerous , new kid!”
“My name’s Jen.”
“He’s dangerous , Jen! He has the backing of an entire alien armada, and countless extraterrestrial inventions up his sleeves! He won’t stop at anything until Earth belongs to him. You have to stay away from him.”
Jen pulled away. “Jeez, dude, I ate lunch with him once . Besides, he seems nice enough.”
Dib stared at Jen incredulously, mouth agape. He shook his head and shouted, “ Nice?! He seems NICE?! What is wrong with you?!”
“He talked to me in class. He seems chill. Except for the part where he kept rambling to himself about you.”
“He did? What did he say?!”
“He pretty much just said you’re dirty and a liar and dirty. He really put a lot of emphasis on the ‘dirty’ part.” Jen shrugged and turned around, the conversation having sufficiently distracted him from his school-food nausea. Dib darted in front of the door, blocking Jen from the exit.
“Look, just promise me you won’t hang out with Zim any more. I don’t want anyone to fall victim to his evil, let alone the one person in the school who’ll actually listen to me.”
Jen thought for a moment, then proposed, “how about this: I’ll keep being around Zim, ‘cuz I do like him, but I’ll keep my guard up and I’ll tell you if he does anything really creepy. Deal?”
Dib sighed and held his hand out in a defeated handshake. “Fine. But I tried to warn you.”
Jen returned the handshake, then pushed past Dib to return to class. Only one day in and he was already being dragged into the conflict he’d resolved to avoid. Hopefully now that he’d made this deal, he could get out of it for a little while longer. Unfortunately, he had the dreadful feeling that would not be the case.