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Grimmjow doesn't like mornings. The sun was starting to peak through the curtains, so go give or take it was about 07:00 a.m. Grimmjow groaned as he sucked and nipped at Ichigo's collar. They had some time before they had to get ready for the day.
“Grimm~... you'll be late”, Ichigo groaned into his lover's ear from where he laid under him, willingly receiving Grimmjow's cock, thrusting into him over and over again. He had his slim fingers' nails forming crescents all over Grimmjow's back and shoulders.
“I'm the boss”, he nearly growled as he gave Ichigo a particularly harsh thrust. This brought a rather loud moan out of the orangette, which pleased the older man. “You don't know what you do to me”, the blunette stated before engaging Ichigo in a kiss, and he doesn't waste a second and deepens it. Morning breath be damned. Ichigo opened up his legs even further, wanting Grimmjow to have full access to him. He wanted to be used. He wanted to receive all those tremors and tingles. He wanted to make Grimmjow feel good, and vice versa. They're both having the same thoughts about one another when simultaneously, Ichigo arched his back and moaned his approval while Grimmjow groaned into his ear.
“Just like that, Grimm~”, the orangette moaned out loud as the blunette kept up a fast and harsh pace. Ichigo's body experienced frissons every time he was with Grimmjow. Grimmjow always made him feel good. His thrusts only becoming harsher and faster as Ichigo moaned and arched into him. “Fuck, Grimm~”. Ichigo's mouth was about to hang open in a silent moan as it usually did when he came, but Grimmjow's mouth was on his before he could process it. Their bodies shivered as their orgasms travelled through their bodies. They came so hard that they felt it in their bones. They could've lost their vision in that moment if their eyes weren't closed. They felt good. Great even. Catching their breaths, they laid there, side by side just staring at one another.
"Good morning", Ichigo greeted the blunette with a smile on his face.
By the time he was ready for the day and made his way downstairs, Grimmjow found Ichigo just about finished plating up their breakfast. The orangette had a habit of humming to whatever music he had lowly playing in the background. Grimmjow never understood how Ichigo could be so upbeat and ready for the day before 08:00, but that's one of the things he loved about the orangette.
"I was thinking,", Ichigo looked at his lover's face with a calm expression. "the therapy clinic wants to offer me a permanent position once I graduate. We could start looking into buying a house", Ichigo casually stated while they ate. Grimmjow wondered if Ichigo knew what his statement was insinuating.
"Uh... I... are you sure?".
"I'm sorry I asked", Ichigo retorted, somewhat deflated. Grimmjow didn't like that.
"No, Ichi. Don't apologise. I'm not put off by the idea", he carefully chose his words. "I just want you to be sure that this is something you really want"
"What's that supposed to mean?", the younger of the two asked with a scowl on his face. He didn't like what he thought Grimmjow was trying to say at all.
"Ichigo, we started off young. You more than me honestly. Sometimes when I sit and deeply think about everything, I feel a bit guilty. I'm the only man you've been with. How do you know I'm what you want? I just don't want us to make a decision that we'll regret". The younger man did not like what was said. Grimmjow could tell as Ichigo stayed quiet throughout the rest of their meal.
"Thank you for being honest", he finally said with a sad smile. They were just about ready to leave the apartment too. Grimmjow never liked seeing Ichigo sad. He felt shitty about it.
"Do me a favour when you get back from work, yeah? I want you to read my journals, okay?" Grimmjow was a bit uncertain about it. Sure, he'd seen Ichigo writing down his feeling, but he never asked or tried to read them. Yes, they were a couple. And yes, they were there for each other through everything. But Grimmjow felt as though reading those words would be an invasion of sorts. He's never asked Ichigo to even let him see his journals. He never wanted to pry.
The younger of the two took up journaling in his teen years. His then therapist thought it would be useful to his recovery as well, and useful it was. I wouldn't be odd to find him thoughtfully laying his words on paper while he was having breakfast or lunch. Some days he looked determined. Some days he looked defeated. Anxious, angry, teary eyed, calm. Ichigo went through all the motions his eating disorder was putting him through, yet came out on top in the end.
"I trust you. They're in the drawer on my side of the bed", he said as he half pinched the taller man's cheek before giving him a quick kiss and heading out to start his day of classes and a few hours at his internship.
When Grimmjow arrived back home at 17:45, Ichigo still wasn't back home, meaning he had about two hours before Ichigo got back home.
"I want you to read my journals, okay?", the orangette's voice echoed through his thoughts and that led him to retrieve them. Grimmjow sat there with a lot of scenarios running through his mind. What did Ichigo want him to read that he couldn't tell him verbally.
"Today I told Grimmjow about my feelings towards him. I was so anxious. I don't know how I got through that. He didn't outright reject me, but he did tell me he felt that I was a bit too young to truly understand the type of relationship he wanted. Well, I doubt I'll die waiting. He'll come around when I'm older... I hope". That entry had Ichigo's object of affection smiling while shaking his head at the then teen's silliness.
"I know my friends told me that sex felt good, but they didn't describe how good. Grimmjow didn't want to rush me into things, so he gave me a blowjob. Is it normal to curl up your toes when you cum? I don't know, but I don't want it to stop".
"My dad caught us. I'm mortified. SO MORTIFIED! I just want the earth to swallow me whole. I hate that he chased Grimmjow out of the house like he was some stranger. I don't know what to do". The more he read, he could pinpoint where Ichigo's eating disorder began.
"I feel helpless today. I want to get better. I really do. But what will I have left once I stop? What control will I have left in my life? I'm nervous about so much. I have to consider my sisters. My father. My friends. Kon. And Grimmjow. He deserves so much more than me. I may sound naive since it's only been a little over a year, but I truly love him. So much that it hurts. It hurts because I feel like I'm putting him through the most".
"I see the worry in his eyes when I skip a meal due to forgetfulness, but he remains patient with me. He puts up with so much of my crap, and I don’t know which deity I should thank for that".
"I feel so much shame. I don't like showing him my body. I want to stay hidden away in my layers, but he doesn't let me. He holds me every single night I sleep over and tells me we're going to be okay. He caresses and kisses me to the point where we're both groaning for sexual gratification. He loves on me to the point where I'm a begging, moaning mess. He loves me. He doesn't say it much because that's just part of his disposition, but he shows me. He shows me everyday. I love him so much. I'll do better. I swear it on my life I will".
"There are times where I feel like an ugly Christmas sweater that nobody wants to see anymore. Meant to stay hidden under the bed or deep at the back of the closet where I'd been thrown. But with Grimmjow it's strange. It's as though he's this stubborn entity that sees no flaws in me. He's the one that looked and dug deep, stumbled upon that sweater and proclaimed that it was his favourite thing to wear". Grimmjow would've shed a tear if it weren't for his disposition.
"Today Grimmjow asked me to move in with him after my last therapy session. I said yes. He makes me so happy. Sometimes I wish mom was around to see us". "Sometimes I feel like I look like a smiling idiot whenever I look at him. He's so beautiful, inside and out. I swear he doesn't even know it... about the inside part. I couldn't ask for a cockier boyfriend". Grimmjow donned a small lope sided smile at that.
"We lost Kon yesterday. I didn't know how to take it. I still don't know how to take it, but he's here. Grimmjow is always here for me. I think Kami knew that even if he took Kon at this point in my life, I'd be able to make it to the other side because of Grimm. Kami blessed me with him... even though he doesn't believe in Kami".
"Physically I'm back to normal again. I've actually decided to bulk up some more. It's taken me years to realise this, but I now see that I do have control. Yeah, I have responsibilities, but it doesn't mean that I have to carry everybody's burdens on my shoulders. I just feel free for a lack of a better word... And Grimmjow is still by my side. So caring and loyal. I don't deserve him, yet I want to spend the rest of my life with this man".
The moment 20:00 came around, Grimmjow heard Ichigo making his way indoors. He walked into their bedroom and found the blunette sitting on his side of the bed with one of the journals in his larger, calloused hands.
"I take it you've read them all", Ichigo said with a nervous smile. Grimmjow didn't know what to say. He was truly speechless for the second time in his life. The first being when Mrs Kurosaki passed away. Ichigo carried on. "I love you so much, and-and I just felt that I had to share my thoughts with you. I wanted you to know how much you've contributed to my current state of well-being". Ichigo was now speaking with a little more confidence. "I know you know that you've been there for me, but you don't know the extent of it, or at least the extent internally, emotionally. But I don't want this to come off as a dependancy kind of thing either. I just- I just had to let you know". Grimmjow was now standing. They were face to face. "This morning- when you asked if I'm sure if you're what I want, it deflated me. I genuinely thought we were on the same page. I mean, if growing old together wasn't the goal, then why'd you stay so long? Why'd you ask me to move in with you? Why do you touch me the way you do? I don't understand it, Grimm. Make it make sense".
"I can be an idiot sometimes. That's all I've got Ichi. Believe me, I wanna be with you. I'm in this for the long haul". Grimmjow understood him completely. Still, he had to get some things off of his chest. "I want you to stop telling yourself you don't deserve me", Ichigo was a little surprised by that, but had no time to respond as Grimmjow continued as he moved closer. "There will never be a day where I don't worry about you, and I guess that's something I have to work on. And like you said, I don't say it enough, but I do love you, Ichigo. I just didn't want to hold you back from anything". The blunette had his arms around his lover's waist, holding him flush against his front.
"I know you do. I've never questioned it", Ichigo responded as his honey brown hues looked up into azure oceans. Sincerity was all Grimmjow could see in his eyes.
"Would you marry me if I asked?". He felt Ichigo's fingers making their way to the back of his head.
"I would", the orangette answered without hesitation.
Fourteen years of knowing each other, twelve years of friendship, and four years of companionship. Those were all the years they had one another in their lives.
They barely argued. Only a few bickering sessions here and there.
They had their own friends and individual hobbies, but they still spend a lot of time together.
They both loved one another's families and made it a point to see them often.
They understood one another. As different as they were, they got along so well.
"Then let's get married. After that we can have the white picket fence and everything. Maybe even have a couple of kids calling us dada and shit". Ichigo will never know what he did do deserve Grimmjow. And Grimmjow was thinking the same thing.
"I want that, Grimm. I want all of that", he said before gracing his lover with his signature bright smile.