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Your name is Gamzee Makara and right now you sat cross-legged on the floor of the common room aboard the meteor, fiduspawn cards strewn all around you. Tavros was excitedly explaining the rules of the game to you, his enthusiasm evident in his expressive gestures. But you found it hard to focus on his words. Your gaze kept drifting to his face, taking in the subtlest movements and expressions. There was something about him that always captivated you, drawing you in like a moth to a flame(which is a phrase you heard from the humans aboard the meteor).
You knew you cared deeply for Tavros. He was your best friend, the one person you felt truly understood you in a way no one else ever had. But lately, these feelings had begun shifting into something more profound. A warmth would spread through your chest whenever he smiled that dopey little grin of his. Your blood pusher would race at the slightest brush of his hand against yours as you walked the corridors together. At night when you lay in your recuprecoon, your thoughts kept straying to him, wondering what it would be like to hold him close and never let go.
You tried to push these confusing sensations down, to dismiss them as mere stirs of pity or feelings of obligation to a friend. But no matter how hard you tried, they refused to fade. If anything, they only grew stronger with each passing day you spent by Tavros's side. Now as you sat listening to him ramble on about stat bonuses or elemental weaknesses or whatever, you couldn't shake the realization slowly dawning on you - you had fallen completely and utterly in what you’ve heard from the humans is called love for Tavros Nitram.
This scared you more than you cared to admit. Pale romance was one thing; yours and Tavros's moirallegiance had brought you more peace than you ever thought possible. But anything beyond that? You didn't know the first thing about vacillation or deeper quadrants. The very thought of confessing these flushed feelings made your blood run cold. What if he didn't feel the same way? What if you ruined the perfect balance you'd found by overstepping pale boundaries? No, it was far safer to keep these flushed feelings buried where they couldn't hurt either of you.
But hiding them was proving to be an impossible task. Just being near Tavros tested your self-control in ways you never knew you had. You found your gaze lingering on his lips as he spoke, wondering how soft they might feel against your own. The desire to trail your fingers through his fluffy hair and down the curve of his neck was almost overwhelming. Worst of all was catching glimpses of his shy smile from across the room, beaming bright as any sun. Those smiles were your undoing, melting your heart in a way no lukewarm feelings of pity ever could.
As Tavros launched into an explanation of capturing versus taming cards, you realized with a resigned sigh that you would get nothing useful accomplished today while these thoughts and feelings swirled within you. Glancing down, you began fiddling with one of the abandonment cards, running your thumb over the cracked surface.
"Hey Tavbro," you said, interrupting his rambling tutorial. "Do you think we could... paint these cards later?"
Tavros blinked in surprise at the suggestion but nodded anyway. "Yeah Gamzee, I guess you, uh, could. I bet we could maybe make them even more wicked awesome with some new art." His infectious enthusiasm brought the faintest hint of a smile to your lips. Only he could make something as simple as touching up playing cards seem like an adventure.
Getting to your feet, you held out a hand to help pull Tavros up as well. "C'mon then, brother, let's go see what motherfuckin’ colors we got to work with." He grasped your hand without hesitation, his touch sending an unwelcome jolt of electricity through your veins straight to your blood pusher. Barely resisting the urge to lace your fingers together, you dropped his hand once he stood and turned to lead the way towards where the supplies you’re looking for would be.
The walk there passed in an uncomfortable haze. Your thoughts swirled with forbidden fantasies of pulling Tavros into your arms, pressing your lips gently to his forehead, nuzzling into his thick hair as honey-sweet words of flushed feelings tumbled from your mouth. But such selfish indulgences could only lead to harm, so you clung stubbornly to your anchors of duty and self-control. Your moirail depended on you; the last thing he needed was for you to complicate pale feelings with messy red ones.
Eventually you arrived, and set about rummaging through the messy shelves for tubes of paint and brushes while Tavros fiddled with gathering the fiduspawn deck. Out of the corner of your vision, you noticed him holding up the Scorned Queen card to inspect its faded colors and chipped edges. A pang of pity lanced through your chest to think of how lonely she must feel within the confines of her card prison, forever cut off from true connection. Oh wow, that reminds you of you in a tiny way.
Your fingers closed around a paint can, and you turned to join Tavros on the floor, meeting his expectant gaze. But once again, your treacherous heart seized up at how warm and inviting his eyes seemed. Clearing your throat, you knelt down and popped open the lid, revealing a rich purple hue inside.
"Will this color work alright, brother?" you asked, holding it out for him.
Tavros studied the shade thoughtfully for a moment. "Yeah Gamzee, that purple will look really nice. It'll-"
"Tavbro." You cut him off gently, hating to interrupt but knowing this needed to be said. Setting the paint aside, you took a slow, steadying breath before continuing. "I gotta tell you somethin' and it's... it's real motherfuckin' important."
Instant worry washed over Tavros's features. "What is it Gamzee? Are you okay?"
You nodded, giving him a weak attempt at a reassuring smile. "I'm alright, don't you worry none. It's just..." Your usual confidence faltered, nerves twisting your innards into knots. But you owed him honesty, no matter the cost. Squaring your shoulders, you met his concerned gaze head-on.
"Tavbro, the motherfuckin’ truth is... I think I'm feelin' somethin' more for you than just pale. Somethin' redder, if you get my meaning." You said the last part in a rush, fighting a losing battle to keep your composure.
Tavros blinked. Then blinked again, processing your words. When the meaning finally sank in, his eyes went wide as saucers. You braced yourself for rejection, reminding yourself that you deserved no less for breaking pale protocol. But to your surprise, a telltale orange blush crept into his cheeks.
"Gamzee... A-Are you saying you have flushed feelings for me?" he stammered, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.
You nodded solemnly. "I'm real fuckin' sorry Tavbro, I never meant to complicate things. But I just couldn't keep motherfucking hidin' it from you no more."
Silence fell as Tavros dropped his gaze, brow furrowed in deep thought. Each passing second felt like an eternity of agony. Finally, he took a slow, steadying breath and met your eyes once more.
"Gamzee, I care about you so much. As my, um, moirail, you've given me more, eh, happiness than I ever thought I could have. But..." He trailed off, biting his bottom lip nervously.
Your blood pusher sank like a stone. "It's alright brother, you don't gotta explain. I understand." You forced the words out past the lump in your throat.
But Tavros surprised you by reaching out to take your hands in his. His touch, usually so soothing and warm, now felt electrified and cold. "Gamzee, can you, uh, please let me finish. I was gonna say... I think I might be feeling red feelings for you too. I never thought to imagine us as anything but moirails before, but now that I am... it feels right. Like we were meant to be more than, you know, just pale."
You froze, certain you must have heard him wrong through the anguished fog in your pan. "Tavros... are you motherfuckin’ sayin' you flush for me back?"
A shy grin spread across his face, lighting up his eyes like sunbeams bursting through storm clouds. "I think so Gamzee. If you'll, uh, have me, I'd like to try being more than just moirails."
For a long moment you could only stare at him, breathless with disbelief and wonder. Then slowly, hesitantly, you leaned forward to rest your forehead against his with a contented sigh. "Ain't nobody I'd rather have at my side. I'm motherfuckin' yours."
Tavros made a soft sound of happiness, nuzzling closer until your faces were mere inches apart. You could feel his gentle breath ghosting against your lips, smell the soothing scent of him so close. Nervously, you locked your mismatched gaze with his. "Tavbro... can I kiss you?"
He answered by closing the remaining distance, pressing his soft mouth firmly to yours in sweet affirmation. Fireworks exploded behind your eyes as every nerve in your body felt like it was just set a-motherfucking-blaze.
You easily got lost in the tender kiss you shared with Tavros. His lips were even softer than you imagined, moving against yours with shy yet eager exploration. You cradled his cheek gently in one palm, savoring this new intimacy. When you finally parted for air, gazing down at him through a fluttering heartbeat, his answering smile left no doubt how right this felt.
Despite the lingering nerves buzzing under your skin, being with Tavros like this drained the static from your pan as nothing else ever could. In the solid warmth of his arms and the sacred trust between you, the shadowy voices which usually gnawed at your thinkpan's edges fell blessedly silent. Here in the quiet sanctuary you'd built together, not even your worst demons could trespass.
A giggle escaped Tavros as you nuzzled your nose fondly against his. "Gamzee, that tickles!" He made no move to pull away, however, content to bask in your cuddles. Smiling into another soft kiss, you marveled at how perfectly your bodies fit. Two pieces of a puzzle, finding the place they were always meant to be.
Reluctantly, you drew back just enough to meet Tavros's gaze, brushing his wild hair tenderly aside. "So what do we do now, my Tav?"
A dusting of orange spread across his cheeks at the endearment. "W-Well, we could finish painting those Fiduspawn cards like, you know, we planned. And, em, maybe hold hands while we work?"
Your smile stretched wider. "Sounds like a motherfuckin' miraculous way to all up and spend the time."
And so you helped each other to your feet, stealing one final peck before gathering the art supplies. True to his suggestion, you linked fingers as you sat down to paint, shoulders brushing in a loving, grounding touch. The cards came alive under your combined efforts, each restored creature a symbol of new life and hope. By the time you blew gently on the last drying flakes of enamel, joy had transformed what was could have felt like a chore into a treasured memory to keep your blood pusher aglow for sweeps to come.
As the hours slipped lazily by in each other's company, you knew without a doubt you'd found not just a partner in Tavros. No, this was the one soul who completed you. Together, you were whole.
Your name is Gamzee Makara and Tavros is your favorite miracle.