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"I'm sure Mr. Kunikida will understand, Atsushi ,"
Kenji fills his tone with reassureance and a smile, knowing of Atsushi's nervousness as he fidgets with the fingers on his gloves. They were both sent on an extra extra special mission to find a certain someone, but clearly, he is nowhere. The boy slowly turns a doorknob, opening the door to-
"Where the hell is Dazai!?"
A certain man stands right infront of the other side of the door, his iconic notebook in hand with a furious expression on his face.
"We- uh..."
"We saw Dazai in one of those black and white cars!"
Kenji chimes in, a happy expression despite Atsushi right next to him who looks absoutley terrified.
"..."
It takes Kunikida's mind process Kenji's words, but eventually-
"RING!
A sound buzzes on top of a nearby desk, one so meticulously organized it could only belong Kunikida himself.
"I'm sorry you two, but I must excuse myself," Some of the anger leaves Kunikida's face, skidaddling away over to his desk to. He carefully picks up his boring ass phone and speaks with an equally boring ass tone. And despite Kunikida's strict and tired mother of seven kids attitude, he puts the device up his ear instead of blasting it on speaker for everyone to hear. But after harnessing his anger, "Dazai!", it's unleashed right into his poor phone. "What makes you think I'll be paying your bail!?"
It's unclear what exactly is spoken on the other end, but no doubt it includes Dazai's outragous voice and teasing.
"Oh no..."
Atsushi fiddles with his gloves again, lowering his head as he thinks of every possible way he can fake sick tomorrow. Kenji pats his shoulder in response.
"Something happen here, Atsushi?"
A familiar voice speaks up, ignoring Kunikida's yelling like it's common, which it is. Atsushi peaks his head up to meet the owner of the voice's face.
"Oh, uh, Dr. Yosano!" Atsushi fumbles, trying to get his words out infront of the terrifying doctor, who hopes that what's got him down has to do with injuries. He can already feel her cleaver cutting through his skin...
But thankfully, Kenji once again saves the day.
"Dazai got arrested and called kunikida to pay his bail,"
He says calmly, as if your coworker being arrested is something common.
Yosano only sighs in response, shaking her head slightly with her hands crossed.
"You would think a former criminal would be able to shoplift some mascara. Leave it to a man,"
