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You startle awake, your heart pounding in your chest as your mind replays the nightmare you just witnessed. Your chest heaves as you look around the apartment. To see Zilas with such lifelessness in his eyes in such vivid imagery. Curling in on yourself, you bring your arms around your knees.
The clock on the nightstand reads ‘Tuesday 7:20 am’.
Tears start to well up in your eyes, a sob ripping out of you. You could feel Zilas moving next to you in bed, waking up from your movement. You reach over to him, grabbing a bit of his pajama shirt and clutching it in your hand, squeezing your eyes shut.
“Mm.. MC?” Zilas’ voice is quiet, still ridden with sleep as he brings his hands up to rub his eyes. After opening them to see you staring back at him with tears spilling out down and over your cheeks, he shoots up in bed, hands immediately flying to cradle your face and rub the tears away. It's a sweet gesture, but the tears come out far too fast for his thumbs to wipe away.
“MC what happened?! Why are you crying?” He panics, eyes scanning your face for answers. You open your mouth to answer, but all that comes out is a loud sob. Instead, you reach your hand up to cradle your hand on Zilas’, one hand still clutching to the fabric of his shirt.
“I- I had a nightmare… Zilas, you were dead and you looked so-,” You struggled to speak, words barely making themselves heard over the sniffling and hiccuping. Zilas’ eyes widen after your confession, immediately goes in to wrap his arms around you and pull you close. He rubs circles into your back, bringing a hand to the back of your head to calm you. His hands playing with your hair had always calmed you down during emotional moments, but now all you could think about was the nightmare and how lifeless everything would be without him in your life to comfort you at every bad moment.
“Hey, Shhh… I’m right here. Nothing’s going to happen to me, love. I’ll be right by your side,” He tries to comfort you, tears starting to well up in his own eyes from seeing his partner cry like this. He could feel your hands wrap around him and clutch at the back of his shirt. Besides the both of you, you can vaguely feel the indent of a small body lying down next to you both on the bed.
Everything would be okay when they had each other.
—
After finally calming down enough for tears not to start welling up at even the thought, you sat curled in Zilas’ blankets with your laptop in your lap. You had decided that you needed something to distract yourself from the nightmare, and what better to do than catch up on some work that made streaming easier on your end? Mindlessly working helped ease your mind, yet you still occasionally glance up to watch Zilas in the kitchen baking. He had decided that making your favorite treat would help your mood, so he had set his mind to it.
It was cute seeing him put his mind towards something you enjoyed, and your heart swelled because of him. Having someone who cared so much was so comforting after a flurry of one-sided relationships. Humming filled the apartment as you started to work, motivating you and making you smile. Zilas is doing a little dance to his tune as he’s cooking, moving over to the fridge, and swinging it open.
His humming stops abruptly as he speaks to no one in particular, “Huh, we don’t have any more milk.” You look up to find him rummaging in the fridge, moving around the ingredients he haphazardly placed whenever coming back from grocery shopping, eager to do anything other than put away groceries. Looking back at you, he smiles and trudges over to where his jacket is hanging on a chair.
“I’m gonna head out to the store, kay?” He speaks softly, still clearly thinking about your earlier panic. You pale at that idea, still obviously also thinking about the nightmare. Thinking about how lifeless he looked in the dark shadow of his room with the red around his-
“Hey, I’m just heading to the store across the street, you can watch me walk there and back if you’re worried?” He says, noticing your spiral and distress. A small smile appears on your face and you quickly untangle yourself from the blankets, tugging your laptop along with you towards the chair you have sat next to the window. You remember sitting here often when you had just started your relationship with Zilas, working on stream ideas and emotes while you listened to him clack away on his keyboard in the other room. It was an insanely comfortable chair, fluffy and white, and matched perfectly with the decorations that Zilas had thrown up when he moved into the apartment.
Settling into the plush cushion, you cross your legs under you and turn to the window before turning back to Zilas, to find that he was watching you with a smile on his face as you got comfortable. He never liked seeing you sad and would put on the biggest pout before it was resolved. Sending him a thumbs up, he nods, heading towards the rack next to the door and slipping on his shoes. Opening the door, he sends you one last smile before the door shuts behind him.
You turn your head back to the window where you can see the entrance to the little mini-mart that exists practically on the doorstep of Zilas’ apartment building. Having a store within a minute's walking distance was great, and helpful during those late-night baking sessions they would have on a whim before realizing that he forgot to get eggs during his last grocery store run. You would both end up laughing at his forgetfulness before slipping on your jackets and running down to the store together, causing more chaos than was necessary on a trip to get eggs.
Snapped out of your thoughts, you can see his white head of hair start to come into view of the window. He bounces on his heels, spinning around towards the window and looking where you sit. A blinding smile appears on his face and he waves his arm at you excitedly, like a little puppy wagging its tail as it greets you. You smile back at him and bring your arm up in a quick wave before he turns around and bounds across the street.
He disappears behind the automatic doors, and you turn back to your computer which had gone dark during your little ‘break’. As you wait for Zilas to get the milk for his baking, and also probably get distracted by all the little candy bars and other snacks, you work silently. You catch up with emails and write out more ideas for stream, glancing up every minute to see if he’s finally left the mini-mart.
Bored, you lean your head against the window as you watch the snow softly fall and cars drive down the street. It’s a relatively quiet street, off the main road, used mainly for the apartment buildings that populate this area of town. The mini-mart doors slide open and you see Zilas walk out holding a grocery bag and looking down at his phone. He slips it into his pocket and looks up at you, his smile returning to his face. He’s bounding towards you across the street when a car screeches down the road, still partially slick with ice. You don’t notice your laptop hitting the ground, too busy jumping out of the chair your eyes widening. Watching as a white SUV comes barreling out of control toward Zilas and suddenly everything goes dark.
You wake up with a start, breathing heavily, and tears already flowing down your cheeks. Looking over to the clock on the nightstand, it reads ‘Tuesday 7:20 am’. You swing your head back around, to find Zilas sleeping next to you. He’s on his side facing you and a weight leaves your chest. He’s still alive and it was just a nightmare. You just had a nightmare, it was nothing more than that. A sob still rips out of your throat, startling Zilas awake, and a concerned expression immediately appears on his face as he scans yours. Shooting up in bed towards you, he brings you in for a hug without hesitation.
You both stay there for a while, Zilas rubbing your back as you sob into his shirt. It takes almost an hour for the hiccuping to go away, still replaying the image of the crash in your mind as Zilas leaves the comfort of the bed. He had offered to make you your favorite treat to cheer you up, something that always improved your mood easily. You feel a sudden urge of déjà vu but brush it off as you watch Zilas head to the kitchen, a little black cat following Zilas’ every move. The cat had been a recent addition to Zilas’ life after he had found it following him out in the cold. He didn’t have the heart to leave it there and had been taking care of him in the apartment. The cat irked you for some reason, never really understanding why it gave you that feeling. Zilas had been stuck on names, too excited to figure out the perfect name for it. He offered suggestions like Microwave, Squid, Ink, or Soup; more specifically, French Onion Soup. You had offered the name Ryuk during a video call, and since he loved absolutely anything you did, the cat’s name was Ryuk. The cat had taken to Zilas like a moth to a flame, yet at the same time also seemed to loom in the shadows.
“Huh, the oven’s being off today, anyways, MC, would you like anything else while I'm up?” He asks, turning back to you as he puts a pan on the stove. You shake your head, instead reaching over to the nightstand to grab the laptop you had discarded late last night in exchange for whiny Zilas cuddles. He hums in response, turning back around and reaching up towards one of the cabinets. Watching him out of the corner of your eye, you open your laptop and your home screen stares back at you. Your mind travels back to your dream. Why such a vivid dream? Deep in your chest, something feels off about it but you brush it off as more anxiety you’ve been feeling recently.
The fridge opening brings you out of your thoughts, and you watch Zilas rummage around in the fridge, moving around items he had thrown in after his last grocery run.
“Huh, we don’t have any more milk,” he says mindlessly, and your eyes widen. This is feeling awfully familiar and the anxiety you felt earlier is starting to rush back, tightening your chest. He stands up and closes the fridge before turning around to walk towards the chair where his jacket hangs.
“Hey! I can head to the store to get milk, I think a walk would do me good.” You say quickly, jumping out of bed before he can reach his jacket. He raises his eyebrow at you before nodding.
“That sounds good! I’ll just start a little breakfast so we can eat when you return.” He offers you a smile which you return gratefully, heading over to put on your own jacket you had discarded upon your arrival yesterday. It wouldn’t hurt to head over in your pajamas, which were still warm enough for a small trip across the street. Slipping on your shoes and grabbing your wallet, you find Zilas observing you, still irked by your panic. After seeing you ready, he turns back to the kitchen, turning on the stove again. The door handle is cold as you open the door and the chill of the outside rushes around you and floods into the apartment.
You look carefully both ways as you cross the street and head into the mini-mart, the doors sliding open as you approach. There's no one else shopping in the mini-mart at this time, the sole other person being the cashier who looks up at you briefly before going back to their phone. You head over to the fridges, which hold far too many options for your indecisive mind. But you’re determined to be quick, so you pass over the energy drinks you so desperately need and find yourself in front of the milk. Scanning the options you finally find what you need before pulling open the glass door and grabbing it from the rack. The milk behind it falls forward as you close the fridge door and head toward the register. The cashier seems familiar, but you can’t remember meeting anyone named Jenny in your life. Thinking it might have just been another sense of déjà vu, or that you had mistaken them with someone else, you place your item on the counter and pull out your wallet. You and the cashier exchange no words as you quickly pay for the milk and leave out of the mini-mart’s automatic doors.
Crossing the street carefully, you finally arrive within a couple of meters of Zilas’ door when you hear a loud screeching behind you. Turning around in surprise, you watch as a White SUV barrels down the road, clearly having lost control of the wheel on the ice. Your eyes widen in shock as you realize you know exactly where that car is from. You watched that exact car hit your boyfriend, but now it’s here in person, and not only just a nightmare. Clenching your first but trying your best to not think much of it, you walk towards Zilas’ door and turn the handle.
Immediately after opening the door, you hear struggling and someone gasping for air. Dropping the milk you rush towards Zilas who is on the floor clutching his chest. He gasps for air, turning around towards you at the sound of the door. His eyes are practically bulging out of his head, as he tries to speak.
“The O-Oven… Carbon-” He gasps for air again before he can get any more words out and you grab him under his shoulders to drag him towards the open door. He starts struggling more, the air sometimes not even reaching his throat. He looks up towards you to see tears barreling down your face in panic. You get him outside the door and place him on the floor, crouching to cradle his face.
“Hey-Hey, Zilas, please, you can’t-” you plead, but words are lost on deaf ears as your world darkens.
Waking up, you find yourself back in Zilas’ apartment, back in his bed. Your chest heaves and your head simply aches. Clutching at your head, you flip the blankets off your body and stand up from the bed. You head over to his couch and sit there silently, running through the emotions you’re feeling. Tears slip down your cheeks silently, as events replay in your mind. What are the chances of having dreamt you had three nightmares in one single night? Glancing up at the clock blinking below the TV, the time shows, 7:23 am. Your eyebrows furrow as you recall the details of your nightmares. Your head hurts just thinking about them, the car crash and him gasping for air replaying in your mind without consent. You whine, and Zilas stirs from where he rests in bed.
Seeing you sitting on the couch and not in bed confuses him and he flips off the covers to join you. He pads over to you with a face of concern etched all over the corners of his face, his eyebrows pulled up and scrunched, and a small frown on his face. It hurts to see him like this because of you, and your heart aches to see him so concerned.
The couch dips next to you, “Hey, you okay?” You smile softly in response, to try and ease his worries.
“Mm… Just a nightmare, nothing I can’t handle,” He wraps his arms around you and kisses you on your forehead before lowering his head again to look into your eyes.
“Hey, what if I made you your favorite treat? Would that make my super awesome partner feel better?” You laugh at his attempt to cheer you up, which works wonderfully.
“That would be great, but what would be even better is if we went to our favorite breakfast spot!” You say, still hung up on him getting hit by a car because of milk or suffocating on a gas leak. Best to avoid those situations for now.
You change clothes quickly, him into one of the many similar outfits he owns and you into an outfit you had left last time you stayed over. He had washed and folded it for you like the ‘good boyfriend he is’, which made you smile like a little kid when he had shown you. You loved this man sincerely and all the little things he did for you that no one else had done before.
Leaving the apartment hand in hand, Zilas talks about whatever comes to his mind, which was nice not to have the burden of figuring out what to say when you were still feeling so down. His little stories cheered you up greatly. As you reached the little breakfast place you both loved, you were excited for your meal.
The booths near the windows were Zilas’ favorites, so he quickly requested the booth from the waitress. Her hair was a stark red, cascading down her shoulders in a low ponytail. As she led us towards the booth, Zilas rubbed his thumb against my hand, hands still clasped together. You look up to him with a smile and only break apart to slide into your side of the booth. Zilas doesn’t even need to look at the menu to know what he is going to order, you only glance at it briefly to confirm your selection.
When the same waitress brings out your food, Zilas has a bright smile, comparable to a child on Christmas morning except he was probably far more excited. His plate was stacked tall, with fresh slices of French Toast towering on it, topped with strawberries and powdered sugar. He reaches for the maple syrup as the waitress sets your food in front of you. It looked positively delicious, something you had been craving for a while, and instantly bettered your mood.
You both ate contently as you exchanged words.
—
Shrugging back on your jackets that you had both discarded sometime during your meal, you scooch out of the booth and watch Zilas fiddle with the zipper before finally pulling it up to his chin. Making your way out of the restaurant, you have to shove your hands in your pockets at the sudden chill.
The walk back is cold. It’s chilly and you can see Zilas’ breath whenever he talks. As you walk along the sidewalk back towards his apartment, Zilas loses his footing, slipping slightly before regaining his balance. You inhale sharply as he slips, but he starts to laugh once he stands properly again. Your eyebrows are etched in concern, but they soften slightly upon seeing the smile on his face.
“Whoops. Gotta be careful I guess.” He jokes, continuing to walk forward as he turns his head toward you. The bottom of his chin is hidden behind his jacket and all it does is make him more endearing as he smiles at you. You walk for a couple more minutes before another sudden ice patch appears, causing Zilas to lose his footing again. He slips just like before but instead, he slips backward, feet leaving the ground. You reach out to try and grab him but your hands are stuck in your pockets and he’s falling far too quickly. You manage to grab his arm right before you hear the crack of his skull against the pavement and everything around you goes dark.
Waking up again feels dizzying.
Looking over at the clock, the same ‘Tuesday 7:20 am’ stares back at you. Scrunching your face in anger, you sigh and look towards Zilas. Ryuk shocks you, however, stalking around the lamp on Zilas’ nightstand. He’s staring at you, big blue eyes watching you as he jumps onto Zilas’ pillow and curls into it. Brushing off the feelings that gave you, you pull off the covers, place your feet onto the plush rug, and make your way into the kitchen. Testing the stove cautiously to find it working perfectly, you grab ingredients to make an easy breakfast for you and Zilas. Maybe having him cook or going out was the problem. It’s not like you mind cooking either, especially cooking the meals you love. The stove clicks on and you place the items in the pan, listening to it sizzle as you get lost in your thoughts.
Startling you and snapping you out of your thoughts, Zilas wraps his arms around your middle and places his head on your shoulder. You turn to kiss him on the cheek before offering him a small ‘good morning’. He smiles, and yawns.
“I’m gonna go shower quickly before you finish breakfast, kay?” He says, sleep still invading every corner of his voice.
You nod and turn back to cooking as he pads off toward the bathroom, throwing off his shirt in the process. The pan sizzles the more ingredients you throw in, coming together into a delicious meal for the both of you. The shower turns on in the background.
You wait as the food finishes cooking, tapping the spatula against the counter and humming one of the tunes Zilas is always singing. You’re just about to flip the food onto a plate when you hear thumping coming from the bathroom, when you suddenly hear Zilas yell out, followed by a loud thud. You drop the spatula, not caring where it lands, and run over to the bathroom yanking open the door. The sight before you is grotesque. Zilas lays sprawled on the floor, blood flowing from the side of his head. You only just reach his body as your world goes dark once again.
Your eyes fly open and you don’t even get a chance to figure out your surroundings before a sob is let out of your mouth. You cover your mouth to try and stifle the noise, but it doesn’t do a good enough job of keeping Zilas asleep. You try and sink farther into the pillow as Zilas starts to move. Without speaking, he gently pulls you into his arms and squeezes you tight and another sob lets out. In his arms, under the covers, you softly cry yourself back to sleep.
The clock reads 12:19 when you wake up with your head on his chest. He’s scrolling tweeter on his phone looking at Error143 posts when he notices you stir. He turns off his phone as soon as he notices you awake, moving his arm under you to stroke through your hair.
“Good morning–” he says softly, “Are you feeling any better?” You nod against his chest, still feeling that twinge of despair in your chest even though you’re feeling better knowing that he’s still with you. He winds your hair around his finger absentmindedly as he looks at you.
“How about we head to the store? I remember we were out of milk and I think it’d be nice for us to do a little errand to get your mind off things, yeah?” You agree and he leans forward to kiss you on your forehead before detangling himself from you and getting out of bed.
You both are bundled up in warm clothes before making your way out of the apartment and towards the grocery store. You’re watchful of every ice patch on the cement and steer Zilas away from the obvious ones. He’s confused at you suddenly pushing him to the side, but ultimately laughs it off. You’re back in your usual groove by the time you reach the store, hand in hand with Zilas as he swings your hands dramatically between you as the large sliding doors open. This store is far larger than the mini-mart across from Zilas’ apartment and includes a far wider selection of brands and items. You’ve made it a habit to go grocery shopping together even though you still live 75% of the time in your own apartment. It’s a nice little outing for both of you, spending an annoying task with your partner and making the best of the situation.
You’ve both made your way to the Condiments and Spices aisle as Zilas starts to get a little bored. He was fiddling with his fingers, drumming on his pants as you sorted through the condiment bottles and occasionally looking up at you to see if you were finished.
“It’d be going faster if you were helping me, Zilas,” you tease, eyeing him with a smirk on your face. He pouts, crossing his arms and leaning against the shelves. You laugh at him and turn back to the bottles, scanning each of the brands and prices. You hear a slight crack and thud but brush it off as someone putting away produce in another aisle. That was one of the worst decisions you could make, however. Suddenly the sound gets louder and closer and you turn around to see the shelving unit directly across from Zilas begin to tip over. It happens far too fast, glasses and cans hitting the floor as the heavy shelf falls closer and closer to Zilas. The bottle you were holding slips out of your grasp and crashes to the ground, contents spilling out. There’s shock plastered all over his face and he looks to you in worry as he tries to move towards you. He doesn’t have enough time before the shelf slams into where he is standing and banging fills the store.
You gasp, but there isn’t much more time to react before you lose your sense of sight.
—
You lose count of how many times you wake up, and you’re really starting to get sick of Tuesdays. You can’t even begin to count the amount of times you’ve watched him die at the hands of practically anything.
You’ve had to watch him electrocute himself on the hair straightener and you still can’t get the image of him shaking like that out of your head.
Another time, you both had ordered from a restaurant that was still doing delivery during the cold and icy weather (which you’re not so sure is safe in the first place for the driver). You were in the middle of both of your meals when Zilas started to choke, coughing, and trying to spit out something into a napkin. He abandoned his meal on the table and curled in on himself in the chair. You jumped up quickly and ran over to him while shouting in concern. He looked up at you, a pained expression on his face as he grasped for his throat. His head hit the table with a loud thump that rattled the cups and silverware left on the table.
There was that one time while you both were passing a nearby store when the glass of a nearby window shattered abruptly with glass flying in all directions, missing you but managing to cut Zilas right in his jugular. You had tried to call the ambulance before your vision went dark, but he had bled out with his head in your lap and your hands clasped together. He had tried to stop your tears while still conscious but had only managed to swipe blood on your cheek.
In what felt like a random act of god, Zilas managed to get struck by lightning. Researching that up the ‘next day’ had come up with a flurry of results, something called blue sky lightning. It’s an occurrence where lightning can strike up to 25 miles away from the nearest storm. All you could do was scream in shock as it hit him over and over again.
You think that whenever the both of you get out of this scenario, you are never letting Zilas touch a single knife ever again. Seeing all the ways someone can murder themself in the kitchen is information that you never wanted nor ever thought you would get. But one of the ones that stuck out the most was Zilas accidentally stabbing himself with a sharp chef’s knife he had been chopping vegetables with for dinner. You say you have no clue why you allowed him to cook dinner for you guys in the first place, but the pout on his face while he whined about wanting to make his ‘super duper awesome amazing partner’ something for dinner. You’ve always been weak to his puppy eyes.
The quickest time occurred not even 10 minutes after you had both woken up. He had gotten up to go to the bathroom when the rug slipped out from under him and he hit his head on the corner of the table. It was jarring to wake up back in the same place but with Zilas still next to you in bed. You had just stared at him, watching the movement of his face and his chest rising and falling as he slept.
On the most recent ‘day’, Zilas choked on his food, and not even the Heimlich maneuver saved him. A piece of cheese had gotten stuck in his throat, cutting off his airflow. You had to watch him suffer for over 7 minutes, even watching him get loaded onto a stretcher before your vision finally went dark.
Waking up today, you feel nothing other than exhaustion. You push your way up towards a sitting position and swing your feet over the bed to rest on the rug. Sitting there slumped forward, you let a minute pass. You look back towards Zilas, expecting to see a familiar scene of Zilas lying there sleeping and nothing else, but Ryuk stares at you from his nightstand. His blue eyes burn a hole into the back of your head. You stare back at him, watching as he jumps off the nightstand onto the floor. He disappears from view, reappearing around the corner on your side of the bed. He stops at your feet and each of you stare at each other for a moment. His small eyes squint before getting up and walking towards the open door of Zilas’ office and you see him jump just out of view onto Zilas’ desk.
Standing up, you hesitantly make your way to Zilas’ office. You’re met with Ryuk staring back at you while blending into the shadow of the room, blue eyes practically glowing in the dark. You walk in and gently flick on the light, closing the door behind you silently before you lean back on it.
Your eyes never leave Ryuk’s, who pauses to lick his paws and wipe his face. You could have never seen what was coming next until it hit you in the face.
“So, I feel you’ve run out of options?” Ryuk speaks, the voice out of place coming from a cat. You’re speechless, not expecting this turn of events.
“You’ve come to the cat for answers, huh?” He speaks, his tail swishing behind him, hitting softly against Zilas’ mic stand.
“What?” That is all you can say, in a permanent state of shock. To hear a cat laugh at you is beyond insulting, anxiety starting to churn in your stomach.
“You humans are so fickle, but at least that’s far more interesting than I can say for anyone else of my kind,” he stops to paw at his head before continuing. “I wanted to see what it would be like to mess with a human’s life like this, making them feel like there's nothing you could do to stop an unending loop of despair.
“Why? Why us?” You plead, fists curling into balls at your side as you walk closer to the desk.
“I had watched your human for weeks, waiting for the perfect time to enact my plan. My kind is just so boring without emotions like despair and hope, but to experience joy for the first time watching this endeavor has been wonderful.”
“How do I stop this? How do I stop the loop? Please, I can’t anymore,” you hiccup, staring into Ryuk’s eyes, watching him jump off the desk and towards the door.
“You’ll just have to find that out yourself,” Ryuk says, sitting at the door before licking once more at his paws.
“What-”
“MC? Is everything okay? What’re you doing?” Zilas asks, yelling on the other side of the door. You walk towards the door and regretfully pick up Ryuk who hisses gently in your arms before calming. Opening the door with Ryuk in your hands, you put on a smile.
“The cat was just being a nuisance, nothing to worry about Zilas!” He smiles in response, taking the cat from you and placing him down on the ground.
“Do you think we could watch a movie or two?” You ask, wanting anything to distract yourself from the revelation the talking cat just revealed. He nods, bringing his arms around you and dragging you towards the couch. You cuddle up on the couch, Zilas gently placing a blanket over the both of you.
For the majority of the day, you watch movies cuddled in each other’s laps. You’re grateful that no mishaps occur while ordering pizza or when Zilas gets up to make popcorn. You haven’t seen a popcorn-related death yet, and you’re not quite sure you can handle any more deaths in the kitchen.
Zilas suggests they go out to eat, at this restaurant he had heard of and had desperately been wanting to take you to. You couldn’t say no to his pleas, so soon you were both out the door and down the street. He took your hand in his, dragging you along the street (making sure to be careful of the ice you had scolded him about), down the secret shortcuts he’d heard all about. He’s leading you down this strip of shops when you hear yelling from around the corner, growing louder with every passing second. Your hand squeezes in his, and he moves in front of you protectively as you start to see people turn the corner.
“Give me all your money!” Someone yells, and over Zilas’ shoulder, you see someone backing up around the corner with their hands high in the air. Another person follows after them, pointing a gun at the unarmed civilian. He sees you both in the corner of his eye and points his gun at you two and back at the person in front of him. Zilas takes a step back towards you and moves his arm across your front, pushing you farther behind him.
“Don’t move!” The perpetrator is yelling at Zilas, pointing the gun back at him, giving the civilian a chance to drop his wallet and run. This focuses the gunman's attention solely on you and Zilas, and he steps closer toward the both of you. All you’re feeling is dread, and anger at yourself for not dragging Zilas down the main pathway. You knew what was waiting for him and you were just far too optimistic and naive to realize. Your fist clenches and you squeeze your eyes shut against Zilas’ back, praying that it's over as soon as possible.
It all happens at once when the gunman is waving his gun dramatically in anger, while Zilas is trying to reason with him. The gun triggers and you suddenly feel Zilas’ body slam into you, knocking you both to the ground. Before you even hit the ground your vision turns black.
You just want it to be over. Covering your face with your hands, you just lay there and sigh. You wish you could just sleep the whole day away, but you know something will still find its way to kill Zilas. You wouldn’t even deny the possibility of the roof falling directly above a sleeping Zilas yet missing you. You decide to get out of bed, quickly searching the house for that dumb cat.
You find him hidden under a blanket on the couch and you grab him, ignoring the hissing he lets out. Throwing him into Zilas’ streaming room and closing the door, you watch as Ryuk saunters over to Zilas’ chair. You click the lock closed before standing in front of Ryuk, staring down at him as he casually looks around.
“I’m sick of it, okay? You can stop your little game now.” You are stern in your voice, yet quiet enough not to wake Zilas in the other room. Ryuk licks his paws and swishes his tail tauntingly before finally looking up at you.
“It’s just a matter of time before I get bored of you” Is all he says before jumping down and heading towards the couch against the opposite wall. He curls up against the cat plush Zilas has, and his blue eyes blend into his fur as he stretches into sleep.
You groan out in stress, pressing your palms into your eyes. You will not be defeated by the likes of a cat.
Stepping out of the office, you race towards your laptop that, for every Tuesday you have experienced, has sat on the nightstand. By the end of a couple of quick Google searches, you have an emergency Airbnb booked. A little cabin that was secluded in the forest. There will be no people to interfere and you can blame the foreign landscape to want to keep Zilas inside. At least until tomorrow. At least until it’s no longer Tuesday. You confirm your booking with an email and move to wake Zilas up.
He’s confused, but ultimately very agreeable. He’s always wanted to go on a little vacation with you, and even a sudden one makes him extremely happy. Anything to get him away from this forsaken apartment and the stupid deathtrap cat. It eases your mind that he’s agreeable with your sudden plan and after packing a couple of outfits (with a couple of extra shirts and pants of his for you to wear), you head out towards your car. You are nerve-wracked every second towards your destination, only eased by Zilas’ music choice and his exaggerated singing of every song. You even join in on a couple, anxiety melting away briefly as you simply enjoy time with your boyfriend. You even laugh along to a couple of oddly placed ads, especially one that had something to do with a new cooking show starring Gordon Ramsey and… Josh Hutcherson? You can’t really place it, but something feels familiar about the combination.
The drive goes off without a hitch. Cars don’t abruptly cut you off, nor do they act anything other than completely ordinary. Everyone’s minding their own business as they reach the destination they desire. You forget about your situation and simply lose yourself in the moment in Zilas’ company. He always has this kind of aura about him that draws you in and keeps you nice and snug like a big warm hug. You don’t know how you managed to land yourself with someone who cares so deeply about you and would travel the globe as many times as possible if you had asked.
The time of peace, however, always comes crashing down. Zilas is singing along to the latest song when he sees something in the corner of his eye. His head turns and his eyes widen as he yells out at you.
“Car! There’s a Car! It’s heading right towards us!” He panics, holding onto his seatbelt while placing an arm over your chest. You try your best to spin the wheel around to avoid the oncoming impact, but nothing in the world could have stopped it. The oncoming car slams into Zilas’ side, as you feel yourself starting to rise in your chair, seatbelt straining. The airbags let out, and you feel your vision start to go black around the edges.
You wake up on the road. Everything aches and it takes a bit of effort for you to lift your head off the ground and open your eyes to see your surroundings. It’s bright, so you squint to adjust. The sight you see makes a sob rip out of your throat. Zilas is on the asphalt, blood-staining his pretty white and black hair. You’re not sure why you’re not waking up again when you see someone hovering over Zilas. There’s a single scratch on their cheek, short black hair brushing up against it. They’re watching Zilas with a kind of far-off look plastered on their face.
You croak out Zilas’ name as best as possible and the person snaps their head towards you. The first thing you see is a smile make its way onto their face. You immediately feel a deeper pit in your stomach as you notice their bright, blue eyes. It’s the cherry on top of the whole thing when they stand up straight and start to walk over to you.
You follow their eyes as they crouch down to your level, lifting your chin and smearing blood against it.
“Just wanted to see how determined you were to save him. See what lengths you would go for this boy.” Their tone mocks you, and they look back at Zilas when they spit out the word ‘boy’. Your face scrunches up in anger but you quickly start to feel lightheaded. Your chin is dropped back down and your head falls against the pavement, vision turning black.
You wake up with an ache deep in your bones. The clock reads ‘Tuesday 7:20 am,’ just like it always has. You lay there, just staring at the ceiling, memorizing each bump and groove. A soft thump brings your eyes downward, a small black cat making its way out an open window. Somewhere in your mind, you question when that window was opened, but for now, you’re simply too exhausted. Ryuk’s tail thumps against the window sill before disappearing completely.
You roll over onto your side, staring at Zilas face for the millionth time today. Gently placing your hand on his cheek, you scoot closer so you’re lying closer to him. You see him smile in his ‘sleep’ and he moves to wrap his arms around you, tugging you even closer. You tuck your head into his chest and snuggle as close as possible. Soft tears flow down your cheeks onto his shirt, but he doesn’t stir.
You wake up to the clatter of plates against a table. You’re laid in the middle of Zilas’ bed, tucked in on yourself and halfway hidden under the blankets. You groan, sitting up in bed as you rub your eyes. Upon opening them, you’re met with Zilas staring back at you from his small ‘dining room’ table. Two plates of breakfast and two glasses filled with water sit on the table. He pats the spot across from him, and you scoot out of bed and plop yourself across from him.
He eats without any difficulty, devouring his food as you eat more hesitantly. After reassurances that you like the food and are just eating slowly, Zilas cleans up his meal with a smile and puts his dishes in the sink to be dealt with later. Sitting back to chat, he watches you eat with a smile as the both of you chat contently.
He takes your plate once you finish, setting it in the sink before moving to stand behind you. His hands reach up to thread through your hair, sighing happily.
“How about we watch a movie, huh?” He offers, and you move your head up to look at him. With the movement, he cradles your face and places a soft kiss against your forehead.
“How about we watch Tangled? Watch a couple of movies that don’t require thinking?” He asks, squishing your cheeks and laughing slightly at your scrunched face.
“Yeah, that sounds good,” You answer, reaching up to swat at his face in retaliation. He dodges as he laughs and moves to leave towards the couch where he rearranges pillows and grabs blankets.
You spend most of the day watching movies, cuddled against Zilas’ chest, just letting your mind blank, focusing on the movie. Zilas makes comments throughout the movie that you’ve heard time and time again, humming along to some of his points. It’s relaxing to just sit there with him, exhausted, and just exist.
“Zilas?” you asked, still with your ear on his chest.
“Yea?” He responds, moving to fiddle with the strands of your hair.
“Thanks, I really needed this” You emphasize the really, but don’t make a move to look up at him.
“Of course, MC. I could tell you were feeling a little off today. You know I won’t ever make you share if you don’t want to, but I just want you to know that I’m here for you, whenever you need it.” You aren’t convinced you deserve his love.
All you do is squeeze him in response, tears starting to prick around your eyes, and you just let them fall, soft sniffles barely being heard under the low thrum of the credits. He grabs your hand and you squeeze back. You both sit there for another hour as Zilas puts on another short movie.
Eventually, you move to the dining table, Zilas coming over with a box labeled ‘Connect 4’. Never, even in your current state, would you allow Zilas to beat you in these games. No matter how hard he tries, even if he argues he’s just as good at you.
(You’re both equal in skill. You just won’t ever admit it.)
You tap the game piece anxiously against the table unconsciously while Zilas thinks of his next move. Before he can slide it into place, however, his hand is reaching towards yours and stopping the anxious tapping. You look up at him and all he does is smile back at you, and you smile back, with no worries plaguing your mind.
You play a whole ton of games. Zilas wins 4, you win 5.
You end up back on the couch after a quick and easy dinner, feeling content to just exist in each other's spaces. Being close to Zilas like this puts your heart at rest, and you slowly feel your eyes slip close as Zilas holds your hand and squeezes you close. You don’t register that the movie ends and another one takes his place.
—
The next morning is jarring. Your back aches and you feel like you slept horribly, yet also feel like you slept the best you’ve ever slept. A blanket is partially falling off your back and the pillow under your head is uncomfortable. You move your arm slightly from out from under you, eyes still squeezed shut. What you don’t expect, however, is for your hand to slide off and hit the ground. Your eyes fly open and you find yourself in front of the TV. You move to prop yourself up on an elbow and find that you’re on the couch, the bed looking like you had left it yesterday.
Wait, what day was it? You search for your phone urgently, locating it on the little wooden table that sits next to the couch. Your phone turns on as you lift it, and it stares back at you.
“Wednesday, 10:41 am,” you say the words in disbelief, blinking rapidly as you try to discern whether or not it’s real. You look up suddenly, wondering where Zilas was. You can hear soft humming coming from another room, followed by the soft clack of keyboard keys. Your head drops onto the sofa and all you do is smile. So many emotions rush through your head, but all you can think about is Zilas. You try to untangle your legs from the blanket still covering your bottom half, far too excited to care about being careful. You trip slightly while getting up but regain balance easily.
Entering his office, you see him with his headphones in, testing compositions for new music. You approach from behind and wrap your arms around him. He startles slightly, obviously immersed in his music, but pulls off his headphones quickly to look up at you.
“Hey, good morning MC, you feeling better?” His voice is soft.
“Yeah, I am,” you say in response, moving to thread one of your hands through his hair, ruffling through it gently.
“That’s good, by the way, have you seen Ryuk recently? I’ve not seen him since yesterday” He questions, his voice sounding even and calm.
Before you can speak, he continues, “Anyway, it’s not important. He was always a free cat. If he wants to show back up he will,” Zilas hums, shaking his head slightly. You think it’s odd he’s brushed it away so quickly, but you’re glad he’s not distraught over Ryuk. You’re not sure you can handle being in the presence of that cat any longer.
“Hey, Zilas?” You whispered. He swivels around to you, your arms falling back towards your sides. He pulls you closer until you’re standing between his legs, staring down at him.
“Yea?” He says, wrapping his arms around your waist to hug you.
“How about we go to HelloTaco? I know you’ve been wanting to go recently.” You’re hungry and you know how much he loves his Tacos. He smiles back up at you slightly, before it drops back down slightly. He’s concerned.
“You sure you okay?” He asks, staring into your eyes searching for any sign of distress.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Everything’ll be perfect as long as I’m here with you.” He looks uncertain at your response but ultimately smiles before standing up and taking your hand in his.