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Jack knew better than to be snooping around in Mark’s things, but he was perfectly justified. He’d loaned the slick fucker his favorite sweater four days ago and still hadn’t gotten it back, and he was freezing his ass off.
Mark was out grocery shopping, probably buying some enormous Christmas ham that would last them for the next two weeks. Jack grinned to himself at the thought of the good old-fashioned Christmas dinner they’d be having tomorrow night. Since neither of them lived anywhere near their respective families, they’d be having a one-on-one couple’s holiday this year, and Jack would be lying if he said he wasn’t excited. It’d be their first Christmas together without the pressure of family and friends and holiday-themed obligations—and if there was one thing Jack loved, it was being free from obligations.
He didn’t see his sweater anywhere on the hangers, but he knew for a fact that it wasn’t in his closet or the coat closet, so this was the last place it could be. Feeling like a creep, he pushed aside Mark’s hanging clothes and started digging through his cubbyholes, where he had shirts and pants folded messily. His fingers brushed against some old keys, crumpled up papers, a few dollar bills (that were tempting to take), a velvety box, some toothpicks…
Wait, velvety box? Jack reached back further in and pulled out a small, fuzzy box that fit in his palm. It looked like jewelry, but Mark wasn’t a jewelry kind of guy. Curious, Jack opened it up.
Inside was a gold loop, brand new and gleaming in the sunlight. Jack squinted at it. It looked too small to fit Mark’s hand. He pulled it out of the box and, upon closer examination, saw that the inside was engraved.
For My Jack
Everything came together all at once, and Jack was so instantly stunned that he dropped the box on the floor. The ring rolled onto its side on the carpet, and it seemed to be staring up at Jack like a gleaming eye.
“Holy fucking shit,” he panted.
Mark was gonna…Mark was, he was…holy shit. Jack leaned back against the wall, feeling like his heart was pounding out of his chest. His ribs cracked with each pump of blood. Maybe he’d even faint.
“That’s…,” he croaked to no one in particular, his voice significantly hoarser than it had been a few seconds ago. “That’s…an…engagement ring.”
Well, for God’s sake, Jack had to put it back.
He’d been the one snooping, and it was his fault for seeing it. But on the other hand, Mark should’ve hidden it better. Jack’s conscience was feeling slightly wounded while he tried to conceal the box the way he’d found it, but for the most part he was on an adrenaline high.
But what if Mark found out he’d seen it? Mark hated having his surprises spoiled, and he was such a hopeless romantic. Jack practically melted to the floor, imagining the setup that this gift probably had had; the Christmas ham, red candles, mistletoe, Bill Crosby carols…and then a proposal in the light of the motherfucking Christmas tree.
What could be better than that?
But Jack wasn’t much of a liar. He withdrew from the closet feeling a little frenzied while he tried to think of how he’d play this off. He wanted everything to go perfectly, and for Mark not to suspect that he’d done anything less than surprise Jack completely.
How would he react? How should he react? Should he jump and flail his hands? Should he throw his arms around him? Should he cry? Should he remain calm?
Should he…fuck him on the spot?
That last one was definitely a veto. Jack shook his head and turned away, tapping anxiously on his chin. What to do, what to do?
Out of the blue, he heard the apartment door open, and he almost jumped out of his skin.
“Jack! I’m home! Can you help me carry in groceries?”
Ah, shit. Jack could feel his guilt colored all over his face, but he still rushed out of the room and to his boyfriend’s side, his smile as big and fake as could be.
“Hi!” he said, too cheerfully. “What all did you buy?”
“Stuff,” Mark teased, kissing Jack’s forehead and smiling smugly when he blushed. “What’s got you in such a good mood?”
Jack gulped. “I dunno. Christmas?”
“Uh huh, right. C’mon, help me unload the car.”
Jack did, and with Mark’s help he helped make Caesar salad and sweet potatoes. He whipped out his camera as Mark popped off the champagne cork and served them each a flute, and they hammed up the romantic toast on film. (Their YouTube careers were only getting bigger since they’d announced their relationship, and neither was going to miss another opportunity to take advantage of that.)
Jack avoided giving himself away mostly due to the amount of activity, but once they were sitting down at their dinner table it was painfully obvious that he was off. He dropped his fork twice and couldn’t seem to stop sweating.
“D’you mind if I turn on a fan or somethin’?” he asked finally, tugging on his collar. “It’s like a fuckin’ sauna in here.”
Mark glanced at him quizzically. “You’ve been complaining about how cold you are all week,” he reminded him. “That’s why you’ve been dogging me for your sweater back.”
Oh, God, the sweater. Jack’s face reddened guiltily. “Yeah, uh, where is that anyway?” he asked, trying to distract.
“I dunno, I think it’s in the dryer.”
Goddammit. The one place Jack forgot to check.
“Okay, thanks.” Jack took a big heaping bite of sweet potatoes, praying for a subject change.
Mark delivered on that, and they discussed work and the possibility of collaborating with Bob and Wade on a few videos next week, which was exciting. Jack was able to forget for a little bit (or rather, to lessen the stress on his shoulders), but once dinner had concluded they went to the living room to watch The Polar Express and cuddle. With his head resting on Mark’s shoulder, staring at the flickering characters onscreen, the tension was impossible to ignore.
Good God, when’s he gonna pop the fucking question anyway?! he thought out of nowhere. He glanced up at Mark, licking his lips, but he didn’t seem like he was going to get up anytime soon.
Jack’s impatience suddenly got the best of him, and he blurted, “Do you wanna exchange any gifts tonight?”
Mark glanced at him, brow furrowing. “I thought we said we were waiting till morning.”
“Y-yeah, but uh…I’m anxious,” Jack admitted. “I want you to open one of yours. Hold on.” He leapt up even though he knew it was a bad idea and grabbed a gift out from under the tree, not knowing what was inside.
Mark shrugged. He sat cross-legged on the floor like a little boy and ripped open the paper. He smiled profusely as he took the big pink hoodie out of the tissue paper.
“Thank you! I love this!” He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Jack, squeezing him tight. “This’ll keep me warm in Cincy for damn sure.”
Jack chuckled nervously. “Good, I’m glad you like it.” He watched Mark try it on, drumming his fingers on his legs anxiously.
Mark looked damn good in it, despite it being an oversized hoodie. Jack waited expectantly, but all Mark said was, “Wanna sit on the couch and finish the movie?”
Frustration formed in the base of Jack’s throat, and he stammered, “W-well, do you wanna give me any of my things?”
Mark stared at him, and a slow smile spread across his face. “What is this, a ploy to see one of your gifts early?”
“Whaaaaat? No! I’m just…tryin’ to be fair, is all.”
Mark rolled his eyes. “Yeah, sure. Fine, one second.” He began to reach under the tree.
Jack was going to fucking scream. “Not one of the wrapped gifts,” he blurted, and immediately he wanted to clap his hands over his mouth and take it back.
Mark glanced at him over his shoulder. His eyes squinted, and for the first time he looked suspicious. “What other gifts would there be?” he asked slowly.
Jack felt interrogated. The room grew hot again, and he rubbed his neck anxiously. “I-I-I…I dunno, you tell me.”
Mark’s gaze remained locked on him for a few silent minutes, and he slowly drew himself into a sitting position again.
“Do you know something you shouldn’t know about?”
Oh, dear God, Jack was caught. Still, he fought.
“No, of course not!”
“You sure? Because you can tell me.” Mark’s stare could’ve cut through solid concrete. It sure didn’t feel like Jack could tell him anything.
“No, I swear.” Jack’s hands were shaking. He sat on them in an effort to still them.
Mark went quiet again for a few minutes, before finally he shrugged and said, “All right, fine. There’s no gifts that I haven’t wrapped, Jack. Do you want one of these or not?”
Jack sighed, and whether it was in relief or annoyance he didn’t know. “Sure, of course I do,” he said wearily, and he was happy to receive a new camera. But it wasn’t exactly what he’d had in mind.
That night, he laid down next to Mark and rolled over to face the wall. It sounded like he was asleep in an instant, and his snores filled the room. But Jack stared at the wall wide-awake.
Would he pop the question tomorrow? Maybe it wasn’t even meant to be a Christmas gift. Maybe he’d planned to do it days or even weeks from now. Jack practically groaned aloud at the thought. Dammit, he couldn’t possibly wait that long! He’d tear his hair out first.
Maybe he needed to be less subtle. Telling Mark he knew was better than this slow torture. He already knew what the answer would be. However it came out, whatever words he used, it would be an absolute, undeniable—
“Hey, Jack, c’mere.”
Mark was awake? Surprised, Jack rolled over and faced his boyfriend. He was heavy-lidded but otherwise conscious, and he was smiling softly.
“Scoot closer. I’m cold. I miss you.”
Feeling touched, Jack did as he was asked. Mark’s hand cupped around Jack’s waist lazily, and he instantly felt twenty times calmer and meltier.
“You know I love you, right?” Mark murmured.
Jack nodded. “Of course I do.”
“Do you like living here with me, Jack? Do you mind that I took you away from your family?”
Jack’s brow furrowed a little bit. He scooted closer, pressing his hands to Mark’s torso. “What do you mean? I adore it here, Mark. I don’t regret a thing about comin’ here, even if it meant leavin’ my family for a while.”
“Yeah, but what if it wasn’t for a while? What if it was…permanent?”
Jack stared at him, and his heart began to pound. He licked his suddenly-dry lips. Mark was staring at him so intensely that it felt like he was being X-rayed by those dark pupils alone.
“Uh…how permanent?” That was a safe answer, right? Or did it sound too unsure? Mark’s crestfallen expression leaned towards the latter, and Jack’s stomach twisted nauseatingly.
“I dunno…pretty permanent, I’d say.”
“Mark, I promise. I don’t care how permanent it is. I want to stay here with you.” Feeling bold and a little bit guilty, Jack bridged the gap and pressed his lips firmly to Mark’s, trying to reassure him.
But when he pulled away, there was understanding in Mark’s eyes…and a little bit of amusement.
“You know, don’t you?”
“Kn-know what?”
“C’mon, Jack. You saw it, didn’t you?”
“I didn’t…I haven’t seen anything significant, if that’s what you’re saying.”
“You can tell me the truth. I won’t be mad.”
Jack gulped, and his eyes fell guiltily. “I saw a ring…,” he mumbled, barely audible.
Mark chuckled a little, and Jack felt lips on his forehead for the second time that day.
“I had a feeling,” he murmured against his skin. “It wasn’t in the same place I had it the first time.”
Jack sighed, curling against Mark like a child. “You’re not mad, are you?”
“Mad? Why would I be? It’s not like you found it on purpose.” Mark’s hand slipped under his pillow, and he pulled out the box. Jack’s eyes widened as he opened it. The ring shone in the feeble moonlight streaming between the blinds.
“What, are we doin’ this now?” he asked in shock, sitting up. Mark mirrored him with a nod.
“Might as well. The secret’s out.” Mark smiled, and suddenly his eyes looked wet. “Besides, I…I’ve been waiting to do this for forever, and I couldn’t wait another day.”
Jack gulped, but it felt like his throat was closing. He looked at Mark and found him to be blurry. Oh, God, both of them couldn’t cry. They’d never get through this if they did.
“You mean so much to me, Jack,” Mark murmured, his voice sounding rich with emotion. “You make me so happy every day. I look at you, and my heart skips a beat, and I can’t help wanting to always make you laugh and smile, and I…I feel, oh God, I dunno, I feel safer when I’m curled up with you, like I’m all bundled up and—oh, God, I don’t know how to—”
“Mark?” Jack interjected, his voice small and thick.
Mark gulped. His face was ruby red. “Y-yes…?”
Jack wiped his eyes, feeling the weight of the word on his lips.
“Yes,” he whispered. He cleared his throat. “Yes, Mark. I want to marry you.”
He wiped his eyes again, feeling his lashes flutter closed. His lips were still heavy, but suddenly he felt the warm richness of Mark pressing his against them. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders, pulling him in closer and kissing him intently, and they were both crying and laughing at the same time.
Somehow, amidst all the confusion, Mark slipped the ring onto Jack’s finger. It fit like a glove.