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Alcohol made Sasha laugh. A lot.
For a man who did not laugh often, his giggles were awfully endearing. The alcohol opened up his lungs as his chest trembled with laughter. His usually stoic expression was curved into an amused smile as he nursed his cold, sweaty glass against a flushed cheek. The giggles flowed from his mouth as he watched Alexander down the last swig of his whiskey. It didn’t go down as well as his other sips, and he chokes. Despite his frustration, Alexander enjoys the smile on his boyfriend’s face, the relaxed expression coaxed out by the alcohol. His eyes shone with glee at the sight of his misfortune. His shoulders shook as he burst into another fit of laughter as Alexander coughed into a fist. Alexander couldn’t help but smile back at him. Sasha’s happiness was beautiful. Even if it was caused by several servings of alcohol.
“I thought you could hold your alcohol better than this.” Alexander immediately frowns, his moment lost, tucking some loose hair behind his ear. He groans in frustration as he dislodges his hair clip, cursing as he leaned over to pick it up. Sasha’s laughter rings in his ears over the hum of the bar’s crowd.
Alexander tries to clip his hair up as Sasha slides off the barstool and leans into Alexander’s side.This probably meant he wanted to be touched, hugged, something like that. Alexander slides a hand over Sasha’s shoulders, giving it a firm rub before trying to pin his hair up again. Sasha watches with drunken focus, observing clumsy fingers struggling with flaxen hair, hoping he’d just hurry up.He watches his mismatched eyes (just like his own) return the same keen gaze. A hand slips over Sasha’s and soon he is led out into the quiet street, the chilly night air nips at their rosy cheeks and bites their uncovered necks. Alexander glances at his watch, 3am. They could probably still get a taxi home if they wait around long enough.
Sasha lets out a disappointed moan, squeezing Alexander’s hand, his free hand tangling in his unkempt hair, his voice slurs with the alcohol, “Y-You’re so… Shit- No, I’m so fucking useless-”
“What-?”
“You’re just- You’re just smarter than me. Friendlier than me and… And you handle everything so well. I don’t get it. We’re the same person and yet I’m worse than you in every way and-”
“Shut the fuck up-” Alexander slaps a hand over Sasha’s mouth, eyes blowing wide when he realizes that might’ve been too much force, “M’sorry-”
“See? Fuck- You are too nice, you apologize so quickly and you’re just so… you’re so good to me I don’t unders-”
Sasha’s shoulders sting with the force at which Alexander grabs him. It confuses Sasha for a second, Alexander never grabs him this roughly. His confusion is thrown out the window when he sees the other man’s scowl.
“Shut the fuck up, you stupid bitch! I hate it when you talk like that! You’re perfectly fine , Sasha!” He’s loud. Quite loud. A light flickers on in the apartment building next to them, “Shit, no- You’re not a stupid bitch- Sorry- But you… You really need to stop talking about yourself like that. You’re not beneath me.”
“But it’s true! We may be the same person but you just-” Alexander’s hand finds Sasha’s throat and threatens to squeeze. Thankfully, it’s effective, and the other blonde hisses at the pressure on his throat, hands immediately fly to Alexander’s wrist, the other finds purchase on Alexander’s throat as well.
It seemed like alcohol could shake off stoicism but couldn’t shake off military training.
Alexander tests the waters, running his thumb over Sasha’s Adam's apple. The pressure is gentle and Sasha swallows. They remain this way for a moment before Sasha’s hold relents, hand sliding down Alexander’s front, stopping its journey at his chest and grabs a fistful of his shirt. To anyone else, it probably looked like a threat, a warning, but one look at Sasha’s glossy eyes told Alexander another story. Sasha groans, tilting his head to the side, looking at the other man with frustration in his eyes. Both their bodies tense with suspense, but within, there was the growing anticipation of something… more. For now, that wasn’t important.
It was probably the alcohol, Alexander reasons. The alcohol probably slipping into the darker corners of Sasha’s mind, sifting through painful memories. He was probably feeling the weight of years of pain and stress on his shoulders once more, working through the sting of the past like the wounds had just been made. The alcohol dredged up unwanted memories and feelings. Alexander’s hand travels from Sasha’s throat to the back of his head, threading calloused fingers through wind tangled hair, pulling him close. Poor thing.
“... For God’s sake. Forget about all that stupid stuff. You… you talk too much crap sometimes.”
If Sasha were sober, he’d be shying away from the public display of intimacy (despite the lack of ‘public’, especially at this hour). Instead, he buries his face in Alexander’s shoulder, immediately snaking his arms around the other man’s torso. Motivated by the warmth of the embrace and the desire to be held by his copy. To Alexander’s surprise, he hears him giggle.
“You are so nice... Too nice. I don’t know how you could’ve ever… I don’t know how you could even like me-” Sasha pulls away, pressing his nose to Alexander’s cheek. The growing stubble pokes his face and he smiles against it, “What do I even give you?”
Alexander huffs, he turns his head to press his lips against Sasha’s forehead, fights the urge to kiss him stupid, “You give me a lot. Does it even matter? Despite what you’re thinking, I’m still here with you, yes? You know how we are. Would we waste time on something we don’t give a fuck about? Not at all. So please just stop talking about this stuff already.”
Sasha looks up at him, eyes filled with wonder at his words. Realisation dawns on his alcohol bogged mind. He slowly breaks into a smile, lips forming words but nothing comes out. His head slumps against Alexander’s shoulder as he begins to laugh again. Alexander sighs, the alcohol, the throat grabbing and his copy’s laugh causes his blood to rush. He tightens his grip in Sasha’s hair as he covers the blonde’s head in messy kisses. The anger slipped out of his system as easily as letting out a breath. He found that he often couldn’t stay mad at his copy. Just like him, he bore the same traumas, fears and guilt. He’s lived through the pain as Sasha had, but it seems that unlike himself, Sasha has yet to move on. How could he be upset when his poor Sasha had yet to conquer those shadows fully? He will be here for him whenever he needs it, to encourage him, to comfort him. Now was one of those times, he thinks as he wraps his other arm around Sasha’s waist. Sasha responds well to the affection, as he usually did. He lifts his head, hoping to catch a kiss, but Alexander stops dead in his tracks. Alexander grins at Sasha’s offended expression as he guides their tangled bodies to an alleyway tucked in the street.
Alexander was no slob. He liked keeping tidy and would prefer to do things thoroughly and orderly. He would never have expected to find himself settling for a relatively ‘clean’ alleyway to snog his boyfriend in. But there he was, doing just that, pushing Sasha up against the cold brick wall and kissing his stupid giggling face in. He hoped his lips would bruise, hoped it hurt just a little. Hoped Sasha understood how much he drove him mad. The rough kiss leaves them both gasping for breath, chests heaving and Sasha’s eyes watering. As Alexander’s heart brims with longing, mind racing for what he should do to his Sasha next, a laugh slips past the blonde’s lips again . He didn’t want to think about it, but maybe the drunk giggling wasn’t all that cute after 10 minutes.
‘I don’t think… I’ll drink again.” Alexander cocks a brow. He lowers a hand to unzip Sasha’s jacket. Sasha slides curious hands up Alexander’s neck in return.
“What makes you say that?” Alexander’s breath hitches as cold fingertips fiddle with his earrings.
“If that is what my face looks like when I’m drunk,” A cool hand pinches Alexander’s cheek, “I don’t want to ever get drunk again.” Alexander felt a laugh of his own bubble in his chest. He flings Sasha’s jacket wide open and his hands begin to appreciate his boyfriend’s toned chest.
“Are you calling me ugly? We have the same face, you know?”
Sasha shrugs, his drunk little smile still on his face as he shrugs his jacket off to pool at his elbows. His hands slide down the full length of Alexander’s torso, hooking his thumbs in Alexander’s belt loops. He tugs their hips together and harrumphs.
“Anyways- Why are we doing this in an alleyway! We aren’t soldiers anymore- We could get a cheap hotel. Or perhaps… Sashenka, I didn’t know you were into something so lewd.” Sasha grins like he’s just won a thousand dollars, Alexander frowns like he’s been kicked. But he is quick to recover with a quick and forceful pinch to Sasha’s chest. It earns him a satisfying yelp and a curse.
“Don’t Sashenka me. You’re the one who started all this. It’s your fault and you’re going to make it right.” Alexander’s words come out in a gruff murmur, but there is no bite to his words at all. Alexander hikes Sasha’s shirt up a bit and starts trying to solve the mystery that was his belt buckle. Sasha wasn’t being very helpful and continued to groan, fingers still lodged in Alexander’s belt loops as he fidgets and wallows in his embarrassment.
“I-I’m serious though!” His once teasing tone now swapped out for shame, “I don’t want to be seen by someone. This is stupid! Also, this place is as dirty as a trench. Come on, Alexander, don’t tell me your common sense got eaten up by your dick- Wait-!” Sasha’s belt comes undone with a ceremonious click and Alexander is already shimmying his jeans and boxers down his hips.
“It’s a little late for that now, Sashenka ,” Alexander hisses into Sasha’s ear, he really really did not care anymore. It had been some time since he’s gotten to see Sasha this embarrassed, he wasn’t going to let this go so easily, shameful display or not. Sasha grabs a fistful of blonde locks and gives Alexander’s hair a displeased tug as he tries to swat itching hands away.
“Crap- Please! I don’t want to be fucked against a cold brick wall again! If it’s money you’re worried about, I’ll pay-”
Alexander kills the rest of his sentence with his mouth, shoving Sasha’s words back down his throat. The pinned blonde did his best to pry himself away, but he relents in the end, his body goes slack as his blood runs too hot in his veins, desperately clinging onto the other as he sags against the cold wall.
There would be no hotel room tonight. Not for whatever they were about to do anyway.
Fucking weirdos.