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“You know I don’t want to judge but-“
“She’s gonna judge.” Kanan finished Dias sentence as the two stared at the absolute chaos that was Maris room.
The chaos itself wasn’t surprising per se.
This specific kind however, was.
“Now what could you possibly judge?” The blondes voice was about an octave higher than usual and had taken a sing song attitude as she gazed around the room, looking immensely proud of herself. And of all her other selfs.
Mari stood in the middle of a comically large pile of figurines and merch.
Specifically- figurines and merch of herself.
Which You and Yohane were determined to set up in a row in descending order of hight it seemed, large shit eating grins plastered on their faces.
Dia could hear Kanan barely suppressing wheezing behind her as she spotted a giant plush of Mari herself and a body pillow that was probably just around the right hight. Mari held it as a matter of fact, seemingly completely into the idea of adapting to the other twos idea of organization.
“You cannot ask me that with a straight face.” Dia deadpanned as her eyes roamed around the room.
Somehow, every time she looked, she spotted new items. Half of which she had to assume were custom made- they didn’t have commercial body pillows or bed sheet.
Or lamps.
Or baseball bats.
Or clothing hangers.
"I gotta admit.” Riko spoke up from the bed- which was now adorned with Maris face. “I do admire the creativity of these.” She held up a hanger. “Making your hair loop the hook is a fun idea.”
Next to her, Chika could not stop her incessant giggling.
“Why thank you! It came to me in a dream!” Mari responded, sounding oh so proud of herself.
“I have no trouble believing that.” Dia noted dryly as she tried to find somewhere to sit that wasn’t a Mari Ohara beanbag or rocking chair.
She had to give up.
“Where is all your usual furniture anyway?” DIa tried to keep the conversation relatively normal, a very difficult endeavor considering this Mari hellhole.
“Got rid of it. Got upgrades after all.” Sure. Upgrades.
“It is quite stylish.” Oh not Kanan as well.
Dia could throw herself off of the balcony at this point. Except she’d have to go through Mari OHara curtains to do that.
“Was the life size statue of yourself really not enough?”
“She was lonely!” Mari protested- with You and Yohane nodding seriously in the background. Riko simply grinned wryly and shrugged. Chika had taken to helping Ruby- wait Ruby was here? Dia noticed as her little sister emerged from a pile of boxes- aided by Chika who made sure nothing fell. Hanamaru followed suit, Laptop in hand with wide eyes.
“There’s so many things you can buy online zura..” She muttered in awe and pressed buttons.
“Have you found all items of me?” Mari raced over to the two and Ruby nodded. “All packages are accounted for.”
“Perfect! Fell free to use the registered card then to get yourself whatever you want as a reward!”The blonde nodded all too business like for the situation.
An exited squeal from the two followed as they plopped down on a Mari themed beanbag and absorbed themselves in online shopping.
Dia only then noticed that the laptop was covered in Mari stickers. Could this get any more absurd.
“Mari- I am going to ask this once and I need a non meme answer.” Dia took a deep breath, trying not to get incredibly irritated at Maris smug face as the girl sat on top of her own image on her new Mari Gaming chair.
“Why?”
And somehow- Dia had not deemed it possible but somehow- Mari got even smugger.
“I do have an answer but you aren’t gonna like it.” She got up and strolled over to where now a long line of Mari items were lined up by size- all just a bit smaller than Mari and ranging from that size to what seemed to just be a D20 dice with her face in it.
You and Yohane looked incredibly proud of their work.
Mari looked like she was counting the parade of Maris as she gazed across the vast sea of herself.
“Okay that’ll work for the joke.”
Oh no.
She was giggling- no. Cackling to herself.
“Oh dear.” Kanan seemed to realize something as she watched Mari mouth some unintelligible words. She did not sound concerned at all as she patted Dia on the shoulder.
“It’s a meme.”
Of fucking course it was.
Mari broke into a giant grin and inhaled deeply, pointing at her Maris.
“Don’t talk to me or my son or my sons son or my sons sons son or my sons sons sons son or my sons sons sons sons son or my sons sons sons sons sons son or my sons sons sons sons sons sons son or my sons sons sons sons sons sons sons son or my sons sons sons sons sons sons sons sons son or my sons sons sons sons sons sons sons sons sons or my-“
Dia left the room with a slam- hating that she had to reach for a Mari Ohara door knob to do so.
Behind her she could hear a room erupt in laughter as Mari dutifully kept up her meme.