Work Text:
🗨️ Chae 🐯
Zuha ( 2.04 am)
🗨️ Chae 🐯
could you come get me? ( 2.04am)
🗨️ Chae 🐯
location 📍 ( 2.05am)
Kazuha was in her bed, the room was dark, until the light from her phone filled the dark space, indicating some message.
Kazuha complained, before sitting up slightly to read the messages.
It was Chaewon, her roommate.
Kim Chaewon, deep brown eyes, straight blonde hair, her beauty made Kazuha's legs turn to jelly.
Kazuha could never admit her secret crush on the girl, but there was a slight friendship between them. The two often spent the evenings on their balcony chatting with a good cup of tea in their hands or with desserts prepared by the blonde.
Kazuha loved the girl's simplicity, but there was one day of the week that she hated more than all: Saturday.
Chaewon had a habit of going clubbing every weekend and returning home wasted, surely after a night of intense sex with strangers.
How did Kazuha know? The girl's delicate and pale body, punctually, reported bruises, marks and scratches on it in intimate places.
Kazuha hated that view, Chaewon's beautiful, marble body, ruined by some vandal.
The two girls shared not only the house, but also the room, that's how Kazuha knew about the marks on the blonde's body. Chaewon had no problem changing in front of Kazuha, even though she knew Kazuha was a lesbian.
It was 2.10am and Kazuha was getting dressed to pick up Chaewon from the nightclub.
It had never happened before that Chaewon asked her for a favor like this and this worried Kazuha.
🗨️ Chae 🐯
I think I drank too much ( 2.11am)
Kazuha had just gotten into the car when she read the message, trying to speed up as much as possible.
“Shit!”
It was 2.30 am and Chaewon was on the floor next to the entrance to the nightclub, her shoes next to her and her phone in her hand.
“Are you alone, beautiful?” a man asked, lowering himself to her level. “Do you want to spend the night with me?”
Chaewon was too drunk to answer, so the man grabbed her wrist, helping her up from the floor.
“She is with me!" Kazuha said, making the man turn around. "So let her go… Now.”
“Zuha!” Chaewon exclaimed, drunk.“You’re here.”
The man muttered something, before leaving Chaewon and walking away.
Kazuha took Chaewon's arm, wrapping it around her broad shoulders, before picking her up in a bridal style.
The ride was peaceful, the car was silent, only the radio was playing the music.
ᴺᵒʷ ᵖˡᵃʸᶦⁿᵍ; [ Can’t Control Myself ]
.ılıllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllli
0:24 ─●──────── 3:01
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺
Kazuha was silent, but the frown on her face showed what she was thinking.
"I love this song!" the blonde said, trying to lighten the atmosphere in the car, but Kazuha didn't respond, keeping her gaze on the road "Sorry." Chaewon murmured, slightly sober, as she looked at Kazuha.
The Japanese didn't answer, but her face relaxed, filtering her mood once again.
The two girls reached their apartment. Kazuha headed to their bedroom and Chaewon to the bathroom to take a quick shower before going to sleep.
Every time she had casual sex, Chaewon took a shower, as if to get rid of the non-existent dirt and disgusting feeling it left her, but she couldn't stop.
Kazuha was in her bed, already in her pajamas, staring at her phone, when Chaewon walked through the door.
The blonde only had a towel covering her body.
Kazuha couldn't take her gaze off Chaewon's body, the drops of water tracing her neck, disappearing into the fold of her boobs, her wet hair and her perfume that had now flooded the room, invading Kazuha’s nostrils, making her addicted.
Slowly Chaewon opened the towel, letting it fall to the floor.
The blonde was in underwear, but what caught the attention of Kazuha’s eyes wasn't the girl's perfect body, but the new marks and bruises on it.
The Japanese's blood boiled in her veins. Kazuha could only wonder what kind of man could look at Chaewon, the beautiful, precious Chaewon, and want to do this. She was disgusted.
The more the Japanese looked at the girl, the more she wondered how could Chaewon stand there in front of the mirror and continue doing everything as if nothing had happened?
Kazuha shouldn't care as much as Chaewon herself, but it was inevitable and now Kazuha had reached her limit.
"Did you have fun?" the Japanese said, breaking the silence.
Chaewon stopped, looking at Kazuha through the mirror. The blonde could feel Kazuha's eyes on her, but she didn't expect her to speak.
"Y-Yes." she replied, no emotion in her tone.
Kazuha nodded, as if to convince herself, remaining silent, before sighing and settling under the covers.
“Sorry, I didn't mean to be intrusive or make you uncomfortable.” the Japanese admitted, remaining silent for a few seconds.
Chaewon, as she continued to dress, remained focused on Kazuha and her words.
The blonde could sense the concern in her friend's words and tone, but she couldn't do anything except wait and listen.
“I know I'm nobody to ask this, but are you sure you're okay?” she finally asked, looking Chaewon in the eyes. “Because it doesn't seem like this to me and it hurts me to see you every Saturday night with your body in pieces. Your body is a work of art, Chae, but this way you are destroying it and not even with your hands. Someone else with their filthy hands crumbling it for you. Please be honest. Are you happy after you come back from that nightclub?”
Kazuha's tone was slightly irritated, but Chaewon could hear her genuine concern. Kazuha was like that and Chaewon appreciated exactly that of her, her kindness and her concern, ready to intervene when the blonde needed it.
Some tears began to track the fragile girl's face. Those tears she had swallowed every Saturday night were finally coming out, expressing for Chaewon how she really felt.
Kazuha got up from the bed, joining the girl.
"Can I?" she asked, bringing a hand closer to the blonde's face, who nodded.
Kazuha caressed her face, slowly wiping away her tears, looking at her with mortified eyes.
“Sorry, I shouldn't have raised my voice.” the Japanese whispered, engulfing Chaewon in a tight hug.
Chaewon didn't know what she was feeling at that moment, her emotions were mixed, she felt joy, sadness, but also something else that she couldn't put a name to.
Slowly the blonde returned the hug, wrapping her arms around Kazuha, hiding her face in the crook of her neck.
"Thanks for worrying." the blonde murmured, making Kazuha feel how broken she was.
“Of course I'm worried.” Kazuha said, almost angry that Chaewon wouldn't take it for granted. “You are one of the people I care about the most. I can't stand seeing you feel bad, it hurts my heart. A lot."
Chaewon was surprised by those words, so tender and sincere, coming out from Kazuha's lips, with a warm and comforting tone.
“Let's go to sleep, Chae.” the Japanese said, breaking the hug, but Chaewon grabbed her sleeve, pulling it.
“C-Can I sleep with you?” the blonde asked, making Kazuha smile.
“Sure, come here.” she replied, sitting down on the bed, making room for Chaewon.
Once the lights were off, Chaewon approached Kazuha, wrapping her arms around her body, resting her head on the Japanese's breasts, feeling the girl's slightly faster heartbeat.
Kazuha's heart was pounding, but she had to stay calm and composed for Chaewon.
The blonde felt Kazuha's hand on her head, as she slowly caressed it - it was so relaxing.
The room was silent, until Kazuha heard Chaewon sobbing.
“Chae? Everything is okay?" she asked gently, shifting slightly to try to see the girl's face.
The room was dark and only the night lights came through the window, allowing the two girls to see only a few details of their faces.
“I'm tired, Zuha.” Chaewon whispered, burying her face in Kazuha's chest.
Kazuha shifted onto her side, bringing her lips close to the blonde's forehead, leaving a sweet kiss on it, before gently starting to dry her tears with the sleeves of her pajamas.
“Why do you keep doing this?” Kazuha asked politely.
“I want someone to love me, to take care of me.” the blonde admitted, looking up. “But no man cares about me, all they care about is my body and how to use it to satisfy their desires.”
Kazuha acted on impulse, engulfing Chaewon in a hug, surprising the girl.
Chaewon shivered, Kazuha's lips brushed her ear and her arms around her body made her feel loved.
“It won't be the men you meet through casual sex who’ll make you feel loved, Chae.” Kazuha said, patting the girl's head, pulling away slightly to look at her face. “They only want you for your body. But you have to be brave and know someone who, before having sex with you, knows that you hate having marks left on your body, knows that you have a sensitive soul and hates when disgusting adjectives are attributed to you. You need to know someone who loves you also and not only when you have sex, someone with a gentle touch. Sex is not violent, but gentle and delicate and, above all, is necessary to take care of the other, loving through your body, providing pleasure to the other and vice versa. This is having sex, not a selfish act in which only one is satisfied and the other is broken.”
The blonde was surprised by the kindness of Kazuha's words, so delicate and full of love and concern. Chaewon felt how much Kazuha loved her, she felt it in her words and actions.
Kazuha was a warm and comforting person, exactly what Chaewon was looking for.
Kazuha began to slowly stroke Chaewon's arm, feeling a scar under her fingertips, tracing it softly.
Chaewon shivered, this was all she wanted to feel in bed. The warmth of the other person's body, the gentleness of their touch, their lips on her forehead like Kazuha's on hers, their bodies intertwined in an embrace and in the end, maybe, she even wanted sex.
"I hate it." Kazuha whispered, slightly angry. “I can't stand seeing your body in this condition. These scars shouldn't exist."
Kazuha lifted herself up slightly, bringing Chaewon's arm to her lips, placing a sweet kiss on the scar.
“I’ll ask you for the last time, Chae, don't let others hurt you.” Kazuha asked, sincerely, in a pleading tone. “The only one who will feel bad is you.”
Chaewon wrapped her arm around Kazuha's neck, burying her face in the crook of the girl's neck, inhaling her pungent, yet addictively pleasant scent.
"I love you, Kazuha." Chaewon murmured, making Kazuha's heart stop for a second. "You are the sweetest, most thoughtful and amazing friend anyone could ask for."
Friend.
How that word hurt, but Kazuha couldn't do anything. She had to endure.
Some tears began to trace the blonde's face again, slightly wetting Kazuha's shirt.
“Sometimes I wish… I could have sex with you, Kazuha.” Chaewon admitted, surprising the Japanese. “You would be so kind and loving and you're already here… you already know me, you already know I hate this.”
Kazuha remained silent, she didn't know what to answer. Her feelings for Chaewon were honest, but she didn't want Chaewon to choose her just to be loved. Kazuha also wanted to feel loved.
“You're not thinking right now, Chaewon.” Kazuha said, in a serious and cold tone, continuing to stroke the girl's head. “You are affected by alcohol and your emotional state. Don't say things you'll regret."
“I'm not drunk anymore, Zuha.” Chaewon said, almost desperately. “I know what I'm saying. I think my feelings for you just need to be fed. Please, Zuha, give me a chance."
Kazuha looked at Chaewon through the darkness, her hand caressing her face.
Slowly the Japanese approached, placing her lips on the girl's forehead, leaving a sweet kiss.
"We'll talk about it again tomorrow." Kazuha whispered, remaining in that position. "Now sleep, when you wake up I’ll still be here by your side."
The next morning, Chaewon slowly began to open her eyes. A terrible headache was pounding her head, but the warmth of the body next to hers was soothing and welcoming.
All Chaewon could see of the person lying next to her was their shirt, their breasts peeking through the cleavage, their neck, and their collar bones.
The blonde looked up, seeing Kazuha, her roommate, sleeping peacefully next to her.
Chaewon didn't remember how she and Kazuha ended up in the same bed and, more alarmingly, why Kazuha was hugging her. The blonde didn't complain, Kazuha was so caring and kind to her, it was a nice feeling to be in her arms with the heat of her body warming her, but she couldn't remember.
Slowly the girl remembered asking Kazuha to pick her up from the nightclub and also remembered talking to her, but she didn't remember how she ended up in her bed.
The blonde was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't notice that the girl next to her was now awake.
“Good morning, Chae.” Kazuha murmured hoarsely as she slowly stretched. "Did you sleep well?"
Chaewon was surprised at how indifferent Kazuha was to their position.
The blonde nodded at the Japanese girl, answering her question, before speaking.
“Zuha, can you tell me what am I doing in your bed?” the blonde asked, but immediately noticed the change in the girl's expression.
Chaewon didn't know why, but it seemed as if Kazuha was hurt by the question, as if something had happened the night before that she should remember.
“Don't you remember what happened last night?” the Japanese asked, looking at Chaewon with desperate eyes.
The blonde stayed silent as she tried to sort through her memories before shaking her head; she didn't remember anything that happened. She didn't even remember how she got home or why, based on the few fragments, Kazuha was outside the club where she had spent the night.
Kazuha sighed, before smiling bitterly.
“I was right.” Kazuha said in a haughty tone. “You don't really mean those words, it was just to relieve the anger of the moment.”
"Which words?" asked the blonde, unaware of the event.
“Nothing, maybe it's a good thing you don't remember.” the Japanese said, before getting out of bed and going into the bathroom.
Chaewon remained in bed, surprised. This was the first time she had seen Kazuha angry, but more than anything, hurt.
When Kazuha came out of the bathroom, Chaewon was still in her bed, staring at her.
“What is it, Chae?” the Japanese asked, slightly irritated.
“What did I do the other night, Zuha?” Chaewon asked, desperately. “Please tell me, I can't stand seeing you like this. I've never seen you angry or hurt, I don't know how to act in this case. Tell me what I did and I'll try to fix it."
Kazuha sighed, looking at the floor, before turning her gaze to Chaewon.
“Just because I'm good at hiding my emotions and feelings doesn't mean I'm never hurt or angry, Chae.” the Japanese said in a hurt tone. “Every day is heavy and I can't do anything, because no one cares about what happens to me or what I feel except me.”
Chaewon was petrified. Kazuha wasn't just referring to what had happened the previous evening, but was speaking in general.
The Japanese grabbed her bag and filled it with her books, before grabbing her headphones and jacket and walking out the door, but not before saying her final words.
“Maybe it's a good thing you don't remember. The only idiot who believed it was me."
That night Kazuha didn't come home, she had gone to Yunjin and Sakura's house to sleep. She couldn't look at Chaewon, not after what she'd said to her last night.
Chaewon was worried, Kazuha had sent her a message telling her that she wouldn't be back, but the blonde feared she had exaggerated.
The week went on.
Kazuha didn't speak to Chaewon unless it was absolutely necessary and Chaewon suffered for it.
Kazuha was always kind, never mixed her mood with anything else. She was able to filter her emotions well, preventing her them from ruining the relationship with those around her.
Chaewon could sense the sadness in Kazuha's actions, but every time she tried to ask her to tell what happened, the question seemed to worsen her mood.
❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜
It was Saturday night again and Chaewon was in front of the mirror, trying to hook her earring.
The blonde sensed Kazuha's penetrating gaze through the reflection in the mirror, but ignored it, while getting dressed.
Within minutes Chaewon was done and ready to go out.
“I'll be back late tonight.” the blonde said, ready to leave the room, but Kazuha's words froze her.
"Don’t go."
“W-What?” the blonde asked, pretending not to have heard.
"Don’t go." Kazuha said, getting up from the bed walking towards Chaewon. “You hate all this, you don't like having sex with those men, so I'm asking you one last time… Don't go.”
Chaewon was slightly irritated by the attitude of the Japanese who had ignored her for a whole week, but she also sensed the sincere concern in her tone.
“Why shouldn't I? You don't care what I do." the blonde said, in an aggressive tone.
“Of course I care.” Kazuha said, raising her voice, making the girl jump. “I don't want to see you come home with bruises or hickeys on your neck, I can't stand seeing you cry because you hate what those men do to your beautiful body, I hate having to pick you up late at night from a nightclub and have to save you from the filthy hands of a stranger, while you’re drunk. It hurts me to see how others ruin you.”
Chaewon didn't expect Kazuha to respond to her like that, so sincere and warm, but also slightly angry and desperate.
“Chae, as I told you last Saturday: if what you want is to feel loved, there are other ways to find the right person, but it definitely won't happen in a nightclub.”
The blonde hadn't realized she was crying until she felt Kazuha's hand on her face, gently wiping the tears from her cheeks.
Chaewon began to sob and her vision went blurry, but she soon felt two arms slowly pulling her into a warm, tender embrace.
Kazuha's lips were on her temple, while her large hands were one on her back and the other on her head.
Chaewon didn't understand what was happening to her, but Kazuha's sweet words reassured her, made her feel loved and that long, almost bone-breaking hug mended all the cracks in her soul. Kazuha was there, by her side and only now Chaewon could understand how important the Japanese girl was in her life.
Kazuha stepped back, without breaking the embrace, looking the blonde in the eyes, waiting for her to say something.
Chaewon couldn't say anything, her eyes were glued to Kazuha's, so deep and black, she could almost see herself in them.
Kazuha smiled and Oh, that smile, so calm and reassuring, warm enough to make Chaewon's heart melt.
“Go out with me today.” the Japanese whispered, caressing Chaewon's face.
Chaewon continued to stare at her, those words were like magic they managed to lift a weight from the girl's shoulders.
The blonde nodded slowly, seeing Kazuha's smile grow.
“Change your clothes, I don't want you to get cold.” the Japanese said, before leaving a long kiss on the blonde's forehead.
Chaewon began to feel nothing except the loud tung tung of her heart in her ears.
When her heart had calmed down, Chaewon saw Kazuha next to her bed, placing a sweatshirt and jeans on the bed, ready to change.
The blonde was red as a tomato, feeling even more confused than before, seeing Kazuha wearing only jeans and her sports bra prevented her from thinking, she didn't understand the reason for this new sensation.
“Hurry up, Chae.” the Japanese said, tucking her head into her hoodie.
The blonde came back to reality, starting to get some warm and comfy clothes to go out.
Her heart was lighter, as she undressed, her body became lighter and lighter.
Those clothes made her feel dirty and chained, this made her feel normal, as if nothing had ever happened.
❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜
During the car ride, the two were silent, only the sound of the radio breaking the ice.
Kazuha turned her head, looking at the blonde now lost in her thoughts.
Chaewon felt a warm, large hand wrap around hers, until the thumb slowly began to caress its back, making her relax.
“Get some sleep, Chae.” Kazuha whispered, continuing to caress her hand. “It's going to take a while to get there.”
The blonde remained silent as she looked at Kazuha, so confident and calm at the wheel, while her hand warmed Chaewon's cold one.
Chaewon smiled slightly, looking at Kazuha, feeling safe. That night no one would hurt her.
“Sorry, Zuha.” the blonde whispered, looking down at their clasped hands.
Kazuha pulled over to the side of the road, turning slightly in her seat, looking at Chaewon, bringing her hands to the girl's face, making her look up.
Chaewon looked at Kazuha who smiled at her, before leaning and stealing a kiss from her cheek.
"Don’t apologize." she said in a sincere and decisive tone. “I just want you to be happy.”
Kazuha gave her one last kiss before getting back on track.
Chaewon now understood why she and Kazuha had slept together that Saturday. Whatever had happened, Kazuha had remained by her side to console her all night.
The girl was so immersed in her thoughts that she slowly fell asleep, while holding Kazuha's hand, for fear that the Japanese would leave her.
“Chae…” Kazuha whispered, moving a few strands of hair from her face. "We’re here."
Chaewon slowly opened her eyes, meeting Kazuha's tender gaze, feeling her warm hand touch her face, a touch so delicate and different from that of those men; the touch Chaewon longed to receive from her partner.
"Did you sleep well?" Kazuha asked, caressing her face.
The blonde smiled slightly, nodding.
As soon as they got out of the car, Kazuha took Chaewon by the hand, burying it in her coat pocket, repairing it from the cold, while she continued to caress it with her thumb.
The two walked through a large wooden door, entering a Gothic-style library with thousands of books displayed on its shelves and with a lot of different sections.
Chaewon looked around, feeling the silence of the place, but she could almost hear each book telling its own story, of who had read it, who had written it and its characters.
Kazuha headed towards the section “Novels” slowly touching the spine of each book.
A thought arose in Chaewon's mind: how much she wanted Kazuha to caress her like she was doing with those books, she wanted to feel her gentle touch all over her body.
“I have never… I have never brought anyone here before…” Kazuha whispered, looking at the immensity of the place, keeping her eyes closed, trying to project scenes from books in her mind as if they were a film.
Chaewon was confused, Kazuha was so serious and focused, as if she was thinking carefully about what she wanted to say.
"In a library?” the blonde asked, stupidly.
“No, Chae.” the Japanese whispered, snorting a quiet laugh. “Just let me…” Kazuha moved her hands, signaling to Chaewon that her speech didn't end there.
"Oh sorry." the blonde said, smiling, before letting Kazuha continue.
Kazuha sat on the floor, resting her head on one of the shelves, motioning for Chaewon to sit next to her. And Chaewon did so.
“When I was young and my parents fought, I would take my bike and pedal as fast as I could to get to this library. I would sit on the floor, hidden among the rows of books, and simply read.” Kazuha said, her tone thin and delicate, while her eyes were closed.“I read about stories of love one hundred, one thousand years long. True stories, secret, hidden, forbidden loves and, above all, sincere loves. I never had the chance to learn from my parents how to love, they hated each other and I was an accident. In the library there were no shouts or the sound of breaking dishes, only the silence. ”
Chaewon watched Kazuha tell the story. Her words so heavy and well chosen, but what surprised Chaewon most was the drama of the story; she didn't imagine that Kazuha had experienced all this in her childhood.
“When I started middle school, my mother's alcoholism had gotten worse and one day my father decided to leave us. I was tied to my mother for years, but the worst problem was that no one thought about expenses, so I had to get busy, trying as much as possible to fill the position left uncovered by my parents."
Kazuha finally opened her eyes, turning her gaze towards Chaewon, making their gazes meet.
Their shoulders were touching and there was only a few centimeters of distance between their faces, but not enough for a kiss.
Kazuha reached out, caressing Chaewon's cheek, moving her gaze from her lips, so plump and red, to her nose, so perfect, to her eyebrows, perfectly aligned, to her eyes, so deep and brown they looked like oceans of chocolate.
“What I'm trying to tell you is that for years I was afraid of loving too, because no one taught me how, no one had ever treated me well, until one day…” Kazuha whispered, still caressing her cheek. “I decide to give to others what no one gave to me. Being kind, loving, taking care of them. This is loving and being loved, Chae. Sex comes next, but even in that act there is love and I hate when you come home covered in bruises, I hate hearing you cry in the shower, trying to wash away the memory of the night, I hate anyone touching your beautiful, precious body with violent and greedy hands. I just wish I could protect you and make you feel loved. You are an amazing person, Chae, and it's time you understand that too.”
Slowly Kazuha's words began to be heard one by one in Chaewon's heart, making her perceive the hidden message behind them.
“Zuha,” Chaewon whispered, moving closer to Kazuha's face, the space between their faces even closer, their noses caressing each other. “I've been wanting to tell you for a while, but… I think I like you. The butterflies in my stomach make me aware of my feelings. I-I think I really like you, Zuha. Not just as a friend, but something more.”
Kazuha remained silent, looking at Chaewon's face as if she was a Greek goddess.
Kazuha's hand was still, but still on the girl's cheek.
The Japanese closed the distance between their faces, making their lips meet surprising Chaewon.
Kazuha gently wrapped her arm around Chaewon's pelvis, pulling her closer.
It was Chaewon's first time she experienced such a gentle and soft kiss, Kazuha's lips gently brushing against hers, making the girl shiver.
Kazuha stepped back slightly, looking the blonde in the eyes, without breaking the embrace.
“Is this okay?” she asked in a small voice, waiting for Chaewon to give her consent.
Chaewon's heart was full of joy, Kazuha was so kind and gentle. The blonde nodded, looking fondly into Kazuha's eyes.
Kazuha smiled, placing a kiss on Chaewon's cheek, stroking her other cheek with her thumb, slowly moving her kisses until they met her lips again.
“Dear customers are advised that the library is about to close, please leave the building. Thank you!"
Kazuha stepped back, looking at Chaewon, smiling.
“I think it's time to go out.” she whispered, standing up, helping Chaewon do the same.
The blonde had a pout on her lips, but Kazuha snatched it away, stealing a kiss.
The two walked out of the building, hand in hand, laughing, their faces flushed and their minds filled with each other.
"Are you hungry?" Kazuha asked as they walked to her car.
“Umh.” Chaewon muttered, sitting in the car.
Kazuha turned on the radio, giving her phone to Chaewon.
The girl didn't understand, looking perplexed, but took the device anyway.
“The password is 0108, you can choose whatever song you want to listen to.” the Japanese said, starting the engine.
Chaewon typed the sequence on the screen, unlocking the device.
Did Kazuha really have Chaewon's birthday number as a password?
The blonde chose a song, which the intro slowly began to play in the car.
ᴺᵒʷ ᵖˡᵃʸᶦⁿᵍ; [ Best Part ]
.ılıllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllli
0:24 ─●──────── 3:06
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺
The blonde continued to look at Kazuha perplexed. The question was on the tip of her tongue, but she didn't want to be rude.
“You know you can ask me any question, right?” Kazuha said, surprising Chaewon.
“Why those digits as passwords?” the blonde asked, trying to be polite.
“Because it's your birthday.” the Japanese replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I've had that password for a year and half now.”
Chaewon was even more surprised by the last statement.
"Why?" she asked.
Kazuha sighed softly, before quickly looking at Chaewon, then back at the street.
“Last Saturday, among the things you don't remember, we promised each other that the next morning we would talk about our feelings for each other.” the Japanese said, offering her hand to Chaewon, who took it without hesitation, intertwining their fingers. “To be honest, already the day I came to see the room, before purchasing, I was enchanted by your beauty. Your face so kind, your body so delicate and your voice so melodious. I thought I was going to melt.”
Chaewon's heart began to beat faster than normal, making her feel the warmth of Kazuha's affection.
“A few months after I moved in, I remember that we didn't talk much, but we often spent the evenings on the balcony exchanging a few words with a cup of hot tea in our hands. Those evenings were the most beautiful and they were the only opportunity I had to talk to you. I slowly started to understand my feelings for you, even though I knew I couldn't love you openly. So I hid them, showing them to you in my actions, hoping that one day you would reciprocate… Well that was, until last Saturday. I couldn't stand seeing you like that anymore."
Chaewon smiled, bringing Kazuha's hand to her lips, giving her a kiss on the knuckles.
Chaewon's lips, so soft and smooth, as they softly brushed the Japanese's hands, sent shocks throughout the girl's body.
Kazuha pulled over to the side of the road, before unbuckling her seatbelt and turning in her seat, looking Chaewon in the eyes, giving her a smile.
Kazuha approached, taking the girl's face in her hands, caressing her soft cheeks with her thumbs, before placing a sweet kiss on the tip of her nose, laughing.
“You don't know how beautiful you are, Chae.” the Japanese murmured, remaining a few centimeters from her lips. “You are kind, altruistic, calm, polite, funny. You are beautiful when you laugh, when you cry and even when you get angry. You don't know how much you underestimate yourself. I wish you could look at yourself with my eyes to say, even just for once, 'I am perfect just the way I am'.”
Chaewon didn't know what to say, Kazuha's words seemed like poetry, her eyes seemed enchanted and filled with love and passion.
The blonde, driven by a deep feeling, made their lips collide, molding Kazuha's between hers.
Her lipstick has long been ruined, slightly smeared around the edges.
“I don't think I deserve you, Zuha, not after what I did for months, in front of your eyes. Sorry." the blonde murmured, lowering her gaze, like a sinner before their judge.
Kazuha smiled kindly, bringing their lips together once again.
“Tonight, you chose me.” the Japanese said, looking Chaewon straight in the eyes. “That's all that matters. I'm glad you didn't come home today with bruises on your body, with hickeys and slap marks on your butt. I don't care who or how many people you slept with, I care that you are safe and happy, at least for one night. If this is better than all those Saturday nights, tell me and we'll do it every weekend.”
“Thank you, that's all I can say.” the blonde said, searching for the words to express her feelings. “There are no words that come close to how I feel about you. Thanks for saving me, Zuha. I want to have 1000 more of these evenings, but only if you are by my side.”
❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜
6 months later…
The two girls had been in a relationship for six months now and not just any kind of relationship, but a healthy one, based on mutual respect and love.
For Chaewon, Kazuha was a green flag, always there when she needed her the most.
Kazuha was available and open to listening. Every day, after a tiring day at work, she asked Chaewon to tell her about her day, she gave her advice when the blonde asked for it, in the evening she gave her massages while they were in bed cuddling and Chaewon loved all this, she loved the Kazuha’s caring side and her softness.
On Saturday nights, Chaewon no longer went clubbing, coming back wasted, but she and Kazuha went out on simple dates or stayed at home, in bed watching a movie and eating pizza.
Kazuha had managed to teach Chaewon that relationships are not born from rought sex and that they last even without it. The two girls hadn't had the opportunity to experience a moment of intimacy together yet. Even just Kazuha's physical presence in her bed and her kisses were enough for Chaewon to feel satisfied and loved.
They had both choose to wait and get to know each other better.
Even though the two had known each other for three years, they both felt the need to know their behavior in the context of a relationship.
It was Friday evening and the Japanese was waiting for Chaewon to come home from work.
The girl was in the kitchen, cooking dinner.
The stove was on and the boiling water created a soothing sound as Kazuha cut some tomatoes.
The Japanese took the spaghetti, placing it in the pot, then taking a pan, placing it on the largest stove, before taking some bacon and scamorza, adding oil and tomatoes.
Kazuha was a great cook, Chaewon loved her dishes.
While Kazuha was stirring the spaghetti, the oven timer beeped, signaling that the dessert was ready.
Kazuha was setting the table when the door opened, revealing the blonde tired from hours at work.
"Hi." Chaewon muttered, placing her bag on the couch.
Kazuha approached her smiling, helping the girl remove her jacket, before giving her a kiss on the lips.
"Hi." Kazuha murmured against the girl's lips. "How was your day?"
Kazuha, after hanging Chaewon's jacket on the hanger, approached the girl, wrapping her arms around her body, caressing her face, while her eyes were fixed on those of the blonde.
“It was pretty hard,” Chaewon said, resting her head on Kazuha's collarbone. “The boss gave us a project whose deadline is Thursday and I also have an important meeting and then-”
Chaewon was interrupted by Kazuha's lips on hers. The blonde smiled, returning the kiss.
“Think about one thing at time.” Kazuha whispered, giving her kisses on her cheeks and lips. “For the deadline, how about asking me help?” she asked, smiling. “About the meeting, think about it when you have put the project aside.”
“Yes, but for the meeting I have to speak in front of my colleagues and present the project, I have to write a speech-”
Once again Kazuha captured Chaewon's lips in hers, giving her a kiss, making her relax in her arms.
“For the speech, you know you can say it to me for practice and I can correct it if there's something wrong. You know you're not alone." Kazuha said, lifting a weight off the blonde's shoulders. "Better?"
“Thanks, Zuha.” the blonde said, smiling, before giving Kazuha a kiss. “I don't know what I would do without you.”
“You would be capable even on your own, Chae, your abilities don't depend on me. You just have to have more confidence in yourself.” Kazuha said, pecking her lips. “How about we have dinner now? I also made your favorite dessert.”
Chaewon smiled, stealing a kiss from Kazuha. The kiss was more passionate than the others, Chaewon wanted to express her love and gratitude in it, their lips molded and caressed, the sound of their kisses filled the silent room, Kazuha's hands on the small of her back pressing her against her, Chaewon's hands on Kazuha's neck, while she tried to bring the Japanese as close to her as possible.
The two looked desperate, Chaewon's hand moved from Kazuha's neck to her shoulders, down to her breast, touching it. Chaewon sensed the absence of the bra under the Japanese's sweatshirt, making her want to take the girl's breasts in her hands, and so she did, making Kazuha moan into her mouth.
The Japanese stopped, surprising Chaewon. The two were out of breath as they continued to look into each other's eyes, both aware of the desire they had for each other.
“Maybe we should continue this in our bed, if you're ready.” Kazuha said, caressing Chaewon's face.
"I'm ready." Chaewon whispered, smiling. “Just… promise me it won't hurt.”
Kazuha hugged Chaewon, rubbing her back, giving her a kiss on the forehead.
Chaewon knew Kazuha would never hurt her, but she was afraid and wanted to make sure of it.
“I'll be gentle, I promise.” Kazuha said, looking at the blonde. “I promise you that you will not suffer, your body will remain intact afterwards, no marks will be on your body, not even that of a hickey if you don't want them. It will be pleasant and you will not be insulted, ever.”
Chaewon hugged Kazuha, hiding her face in the crook of the Japanese's neck, placing a kiss on it.
“How about we have dinner now?” the Japanese asked, stroking the blonde's back. “I'll go prepare the dishes, you go change. After dinner we can do whatever we want.”
Chaewon smiled, running towards their room, but not before giving Kazuha one last kiss.
Dinner was quiet, Chaewon appreciated every deliciousness prepared by her girlfriend, from pasta, to meat, to dessert.
Kazuha removed the dishes, starting to wash them, when Chaewon wrapped her arms around the girl's hips, resting her head on her back, feeling her heartbeat and warmth.
After finishing, Kazuha rolled over, wrapping her arms around the blonde, lifting her up, wrapping her legs around her hips.
Kazuha turned off the lights, heading into their room.
The apartment was lit by street lights, allowing Kazuha to see enough not to fall.
Once they got to their room, Kazuha made the blonde lie down on their bed.
Chaewon had asked the Japanese, two months earlier, to change their bed to a double bed so they could sleep close to each others. Now that bed was perfect.
Kazuha leaned towards the blonde, lieing herself on top between her legs, looking into her eyes, caressing her face.
Kazuha gave a kiss on Chaewon's lips, one on her cheek and, after bringing her lips closer to Chaewon's shoulder, she left kisses on it, while the girl caressed her head.
Kazuha brought her hands to the sides of Chaewon's shirt, grabbing the end of it.
"Can I?" Kazuha asked, giving the blonde a kiss on the cheek.
Chaewon pecked her lips, before smiling and nodding.
The Japanese lifted her girlfriend's shirt, leaving her only in her bra.
Kazuha observed the blonde's body, already seen other times, but never in its entirety, noticing some slight scars on her abdomen or on the part of the breast that emerged from her bra.
The wounds and bruises on her body had long since vanished and remained only a bad memory in Chaewon's mind and much of the credit went to Kazuha who had helped her and treated her with kindness and gentleness.
"You’re beautiful." Kazuha whispered, kissing every old scar on the blonde's skin, making her blush.
Kazuha began leaving kisses on the blonde's chest, on her stomach, on her neck, on her wrists, wherever those men had caused her harm. Those kisses were a promise of protection, love and respect.
The blonde had her eyes closed as she enjoyed the treatment nobody had ever given her.
Slowly the Japanese's hands reached Chaewon's back, grabbing the end of her bra, freeing it from its hook, before removing it, throwing it on the floor, revealing her pink nipples which, upon contact with the cold of the room, became erect.
Kazuha took off her T-shirt, under which she was wearing nothing, before embracing the blonde, making their breasts touch, while their lips molded each other in a kiss that spread heat in their bodies.
The Japanese's lips moved to the blonde's cheeks, reaching her neck, tracing a path, up to her breasts.
Chaewon had her eyes closed, as she felt Kazuha's every action on her sensitive skin, while her hand was on the back of the girl's neck, stroking her hair.
Kazuha sat up slightly, looking into her eyes, before admiring her body.
Chaewon was left with only her pants, which Kazuha didn't hesitate to remove.
"You’re beautiful, Chae, really." Kazuha murmured, her lips on the blonde's skin again. “I can't say anything else… a work of art.”
Kazuha reached Chaewon's chest, bringing a hand to her left breast, starting to massage it, while her tongue licked the right nipple.
Chaewon moaned, this was different from other times, Kazuha was gentle and respectful, making her actually feel pleasure, unlike those strangers violent and selfish, who made her feel only pain, marking her body with bruises and scrapes.
Kazuha's touch was soft and harmless, so pleasant that Chaewon wanted it on every inch of her body.
Kazuha brought her kisses down to Chaewon's belly, kissing her navel, until she reached the elastic of her underwear, touching it with her fingers, before looking at the blonde, asking for her approval.
Chaewon looked at Kazuha, nodding in agreement.
Kazuha pulled off Chaewon's panties, letting them fall to the floor, before reaching down, bringing her face in front of the folds.
Kazuha began to gently caress her thighs, giving a kiss to one of them while her gaze was fixed on the girl.
Slowly her kisses moved closer to Chaewon's folds, making the tension grow in their bodies.
Kazuha stopped, looking into Chaewon's eyes, trying to read her emotions.
“Are you sure you want me to move forward? I don't want to force you to take this step, I can wait if you want. I want this not to be seen as just another time you had sex, but I want you to read this as a declaration of love. So I'll ask you the question once again… Kim Chaewon do you want to make love with me?” Kazuha asked, looking at her.
Kazuha was kneeling on the bed as she continued to look the blonde in the eyes, waiting for her response.
Chaewon stood up, sitting up and scooting closer to Kazuha, wrapping her arms around the girl.
“Thanks, Zuha.” the girl whispered, caressing the Japanese's face. “Thanks to you I'm trying what it means to feel loved even in bed. I'm learning what it feels like to be treated with love and kindness, because the other person cares about me, my health and my well-being. I want to go on. With you I know I'm safe."
The blonde concluded, smiling, giving a kiss on the Japanese's lips, then another and another, before their kisses became longer and more passionate.
Kazuha stepped back, not breaking the embrace, smiling at the blonde, giving one last kiss on her cheek, then one on her lips and the last one on her forehead, before slowly helping her and lying back on the bed.
Kazuha approached the two folds, slowly dividing them with the tip of her tongue, while slowly sucking the blonde's clit, causing the girl a new type of pleasure, never felt before.
“Z-Zuha…” moaned the blonde, stroking the back of Kazuha's neck.
Kazuha backed away slightly, putting two fingers in her mouth, lubricating them with her saliva, before placing them at Chaewon's entrance.
Kazuha leaned up, bringing her face in front of Chaewon's, smiling softly, before capturing her lips in a passionate kiss, distracting the blonde from her fingers lightly penetrating her entrance.
Chaewon moaned into Kazuha's mouth, feeling herself filled by her girlfriend's fingers.
It wasn't painful, Kazuha was so soft that Chaewon barely felt anything.
"How are you?" Kazuha asked, while her fingers were still, inside Chaewon.
“I feel good… keep going.” the blonde whispered, wrapping her arms around Kazuha.
Kazuha began to push her fingers in and out, speeding up slightly with each thrust.
Chaewon did nothing but moan, Kazuha's fingers were giving her pleasure she had never felt before and her lips were now on her breasts again, licking her soft nipples.
Slowly something began to form in Chaewon's belly, until it was almost impossible for her to hold it back.
“Z-Zuha, I’m close….” Chaewon muttered while trying not to moan.
"I’m here." Kazuha whispered, giving her a kiss on her breast. "Take it easy."
Chaewon's walls clenched around the Japanese's fingers, slowly releasing the liquid onto them as she reached her climax.
Kazuha slowly pulled her fingers out, bringing them to her mouth and wrapping her lips around them, sucking the liquid away.
The blonde was red in the face, embarrassed by what was happening.
Kazuha knelt, bringing her face closer to the folds again, parting them with her tongue and licking away the remaining liquid.
Kazuha stood up, moving closer to Chaewon. Their faces were close to each other, Kazuha smiled and gave a kiss to the blonde's forehead, before giving her another on the lips, while slowly wrapping her arms around the girl, caressing the back of her neck.
Kazuha backed away, looking at Chaewon, moving her gaze from her lips to her eyes.
“Hey.” Kazuha whispered, caressing the blonde's neck. "How are you?"
Chaewon smiled, reaching out to caress her girlfriend's sweaty face.
“Good… I feel good.” she whispered, smiling, as she tried to catch her breath. “You know, Zuha, that this isn't my first time but it's the first time I feel loved during sex and not just used to satisfy the need of some horny men who only want me for my body. Thank you, because thanks to you I learned what it means to be in love and feel loved. I love you so much. It was amazing and I'm happy I was with you." Chaewon whispered, placing a quick kiss on Kazuha's lips.
Kazuha smiled, caressing her face, moving a few strands of hair from the blonde's face.
“You know, Chae…” Kazuha whispered, looking at the blonde. “When I was young, I feared that I would never be able to love someone, but then I met you and slowly started to feel new feelings. Every time you left the Saturday nights I wanted to save you, I wanted to hold you tight in my arms until you felt loved, I wanted to kiss you and, since we've been together, the more our relationship grew, the more I wanted to experience the best moments with you. You may not have been my first time, or my first kiss, but you were my first friend in Korea, my first serious relationship, my first time in bed where I felt something so strong for the person who's with me. Over time, thanks to you, I learned how to love, too. Thank you, Chae.” Kazuha whispered, placing a kiss on Chaewon's cheek, making the girl smile.
Kazuha approached the blonde, lying next to her, making her sit on top of her, resting her head on her soft breasts.
“Now how about we go to sleep?” Kazuha asked in a faint voice, as she adjusted the blanket over their naked bodies with her hands, before starting to caress Chaewon's bare back with one hand, while the other was resting on the girl's head.
Chaewon smiled, lifting her head from her breast to look at her sleepy girlfriend.
“I love you, Zuha.” the blonde whispered, placing a kiss on Kazuha's lips.
Kazuha looked at her girlfriend, giving her a long kiss on the lips, before speaking again.
“I love you too, you can't imagine how much. Please never doubt my feelings and when you feel less loved, tell me, I will remind you in every way possible."
The Japanese smiled, making Chaewon smile, too, and give her one last kiss, before they both fell into a deep sleep, in each other's arms, but not before the blonde whispered one last I love you to the woman she loved.